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I was just browsing a website where I came across young, sexually inexperienced men lecturing other men on how “lucky” they were to have a girl to wake up next to, and how, if they were in those men’s shoes, they would basically walk on water for such girls and do anything the girl could possibly want or ask... if they could get them.
In response, the men who actually got laid and had girlfriends
laughed at them and responded with things along the lines of, “And
that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.”
In business, you find it’s of vital importance to be aware of the relative strength (or weakness) of your position walking into a negotiation – any negotiation.
Ideally, you’ll walk into a negotiation where both parties are negotiating from strong positions – you are strong, and the other party is strong. In this case, you stand the best chance at having a fair outcome for both parties (a win-win) because neither side will compromise on things that are important to them.
Also possible – but far less likely – are negotiations where both parties are weak. These will also tend to be “fair” negotiations, as they are alliances of convenience; however, they don’t happen so much because everyone wants to ally himself with someone strong, and this is especially true for the weak.
Lastly, you will encounter negotiations that are weak-strong (or strong-weak), where one party negotiates from a position of relative weakness, and the other negotiates from a position of relative strength. These negotiations tend toward being extraordinarily one-sided in their outcomes the vast majority of the time – they are net value transfers from the weak party to the strong party.
That’s because the weak party inevitably compromises far too much – he knows he has little to offer, and doesn’t know when he’ll get another shot at a deal with a stronger party, so he becomes willing to trade anything simply just to keep the stronger party around and, hopefully, give himself the chance to “prove himself” to said stronger party as someone worthy getting access to even the littlest piece of value back.
Yet these dynamics are not unique to business – they happen with people, too. And the easiest place to see them in action? “Nice guys” trying to get dates and girlfriends.
Comments
Just a question: If you've
Just a question:
If you've got a face that is not.... good looking, does that affect your
facial expressions?
I know looks don't matter that much and all but I also know that sexy smiling
and facial expressions are clearly essential.
But when you think about it, if you have an average or ugly face, your smile
or sexy facial expressions will just appear ugly, right?
I'm just asking if know if they are worth getting trained, those facial expressions.
Because that ugly face I'm talking about, well its mine, ha ha.... OK so
seriously, what do you think about it?
A facial expression can be
A facial expression can be sexy no matter the face you have. It only depends on your fundamentals and attitude at this point.
A famous actor in my province (very expressive) is actually super ugly yet he's now going out with an attractive girl half his age which I had a shot on. And no, he's not rich so can't put his 'luck' on money.
Perspective
Hey Harry,
Chances are if you're showing your face expressions off with assurdness. Girls will look past your face. By this I mean you will come off as attractive if you believe you are attractive.
Just Dave
Bravo
Bravo
Abs?
Hey guys, how important are abs to make you look really sexy?
It seems that muscles has been covered on this site and abs were mentioned to.
I can't get abs and I'm not at all seduced by the idea of depriving myself
from food like chocolates or burgers just to get them.
But a lot of girls tell me that they would not hesitate to go for a guy who has abs.
Another question now :
I guess not everyone here has abs so how do you manage to look
hot on the beach?
And what are the best outfits to wear? Are small and very skinny shorts a good
idea if you've got some additional belly fat?
A few girls will indeed rush
A few girls will indeed rush for an opportunity to go out with a sexy man featuring abs (got a friend in that category). But for it to work out, you need to have a peacock personality and show your abs off which can either come off as sexy or as annoying. So all around, unless you do most of your encounters at the pool or at the beach, it's far from indispensable.
About swimsuits, you want skinny one going down just above your knee, ideally in a pastel color. Read the GQ article about swimsuits for more details.
abs
Hi,
I have abs, 8% bodyfat, 165 pounds now and 6 feet 1. Thing is, they are not visible during the day, there are only certain situations you can use it really. Sadly, I dont really know how to use it. You can bait girls to touch your belly I guess. Since I have this great weirdness that makes me have crippling fear around certain girls to a point where I am unable to think and even talk, I told my former friend that my belly gets tight because of that whenever she is near me and it is hard to breathe deeply and I kept poking it, she was sitting next to me so she poked too and then placed her whole palm and I could see how her eyes got wider.
There are couple of things I think play role. It just adds to your "lover value". I dont know how to name it better. Like having a job to a being a provider or I dont know... having a stable job adds security vs being self employed is more unstable if she wants to think of you as a "husband material" for example. Also, Chase always talked about being effortless and making the seduction as effortless as possible and my friend who is really fit gets approached by girls, they ask him stupid questions like where is the nearest station, while standing like 10 meters next to train platform. His body does the game for him.
But this kind of thing must be more complex than just being ripped and well dressed. I mean your looks - face - dont mean that much but your expression makes you look certain way and being frowny is not pleasant so he has to have certain vibe. But this is quite funny because he is proportional, good hairstyle and his whole game is basically being a friend. And he attracts them with his body because every gesture he does is just.. nonchalantly attractive. He leads them but with this laid back attitude. It looks like if he was a superman, knew noone can hurt him and let other guys hit him and smash his face and even complimented them on their swing or toughness but all this in terms of seduction.
It is said that big tits on a fat chick are like abs on skinny guy. So maybe having abs is like having good pair of tits. But I am not really a woman to tell you how big of a deal it is.
Looking Toned
Hey Totoche,
I would say overall looking toned with play a more important role over abs. The reason for this is you can have abs but still not be sexy. If you have a toned body you'll come off as looking sexier. As far as beach war wear shorts (swim trunks) that compliment your body and overall complexion. Go for the style of shorts that work for you.
Just Dave
Smile warmly, Smile sexy
OK so obviously this is about smile.
I got the main idea in general : Mouth shut, smile more with one side of the mouth.
So I have got a few questions and I would like to clear those doubts.
1. How do you smile so that it does not feel forced?
2. I haven't got a large smile naturally so the " slow spreading smile " looks weird when I try it out. Should I still do it though as I start, it will end?
3. I have big lips. Should I purse them? When I do purse them, I think my smile
looks better but the problem is that I kind of put too much pressure on my lips and
everything becomes strange. My eyes get weird, my face looks tensed,..... Well, it
just doesn't look good.
So, should I purse my big lips? If I don't, my smile is just horrible, with those fat
lips hanging. Ugrh.... Not sexy. But if I purse, like I said, there's too much pressure, .......
4. Should my face be relaxed? Cause my relaxed face looks bored and expressionless so I force some king of expression which causes again a lot of pressure on my face which spoils everything.
5. This one's for those who had ugly, unsexy smiles and who managed to get really
sexy smiles. So if your one of those guys, then I guess you have never given up and
continued until your aim was achieved. So how did you keep your motivation?
How did you not abandon even after each time you tried to smile in the mirror
and it turned out to be horrible?
Yep I know, so much of drama just for a smile..... But its an important seduction tool and I will try my best to get it. Please help me clear my doubts by answering
the questions above.
I'll wait for your responses. For now, I will keep on trying to smile and hope it might get better.....
One Answer
Hey Kolateral,
The overall goal is just to relax and be personable. When you feel your face tensing up, that's forcing a smile. A relaxed smile will feel as a lot better and is natural. As far as slow spreading smiles, go with what works for you. The thing about information on the site is you have to shape it to work for you. Having the feeling of happiness and actually enjoying the moment contribute to a relaxed smile.
Take care,
Just Dave
Obsession
Hey I just found this site and read one of your articles about obsessing over a girl. A lot of the article was specific to my situation, but some of it was not. I was wondering if there is anyway to contact you and talk to you personally. I really enjoyed the article and I feel like you can help me.
Ask Anyway
Hey Jacob,
I assist on the comment and questions feel free to ask away. Also feel free to check out the forum true, girlsschase.com/boards
Take care,
Just Dave
Being the sexy friend/ When I want
Hey Chase, I've seen you mention that you can be a girls friend, but can still be seen as a sexual option. How does one become that? Because im dealing with a girl right now that's my friend and i don't see us being a couple and with her situation the logistics are messed up, so i haven't been able to sleep with her. How do you become one of those friends and sleep with them?
Another question. How do i keep attraction and sleep with girls when i have time? Sometimes im too busy to see a girl and her schedule does not fit with mine, or i have other girls im seeing right now and want to put her on the back burner. How does one keep girls around and sleep with them when they have the time?
Thanks
Article Links
Hey Wolf,
How to Get out of the Friendzone
Friends: Does She like Me or Not
Take care,
Just Dave
Hey guys, how do you appear
Hey guys, how do you appear comfortable in a classroom?
I know there's already an articles about it but its a bit confusing for me.....
I'm a muscular guys who takes up a lot of space so I'm really uncomfortable when
I'm seated in a really small and confined classroom.
So how do I look good?
And also, how to appear cool while working during class? Stupid question, I know
but when I have to work out a paper ( specially a math paper ) , I have to concentrate very hard in order to score high marks . The problem is that it looks like I'm having great trouble and I look like a try hard.
When on the other hand, I see some other students effortlessly going through
their paper, like they aren't concentrating at all and end up scoring full marks in
the paper.
So here, this is about appearing comfortable while having to concentrate hard.
And also, how should I be seated? In which way? What should I do of my arms, legs? Sometimes I really don't know what to do with them while seating in class.
Other big muscular guys must have faced the same problem I guess. Any helpful
answer will be great!
Thanks!
English Just Relax
English,
Just Relax. I don't see a reason why a man always has to perfect or correct. Unless you are sweating like hell or hallucinating then I don't see a big problem.
I find Maths to be complicated and I have to focus ten times more than the other students. I had a similar problem to yours.
Some questions to ask yourself to solve the problem are:
Is the classroom hot?
Is the seat you sit on too small or tough? ( a softer or bigger seat might solve the problem )
The part you said about being muscular and sitting in a small and confined classroom and being uncomfortable. Yeah that might just be a clusto phobia ( fear of small places ). Talking to your teacher about that could help. A change of rooms might help.
Finally when I feel nervous in a test I always have gum or sweets, or water. That gets me to focus on things other than the test. And you have an advantage. Girls love muscular guys. Own your space. And again, it's a test, don't make everything you do in life be a test of your status among girls perception.
Troy
Guess you're right Troy. I
Guess you're right Troy.
I suppose I stressed too much . Yep, I'll relax.
And I do have the horrible tendency to make everything in life a test of my
status among girls. should change that. Your response was great.
Thanks bro!
Article Links
Hey English,
Class Room Body Language Part I
Class Room Body Language Part II
Take care,
Just Dave
More Day Game
Chase,
Could you, or other authors here, possibly do a more extensive article
exclusively on day game? The "14 Myths Debunked" and "Day Pick Up..."
are the main ones I've found here as well as a handful of others that mention day game. But I feel they just scratch the surface on this topic.
And could you link these other day game related articles together in this new day game article? Thanks a lot!
Noted!
Hey Rock!
I will let Chase and the other authors know about your request.
Just Dave
Hi Chase, it seems women like
Hi Chase, it seems women like to try to put men into a position of weakness.
Anyways, 4 days ago I met some really cute waitress at an expensive drinks/food type of place. I walked up to her after she was leaving our table when I wanted to order another drink. She almost immediately looked at me in a flirty/smiley way and said "what's going on with you" and something like "why are you giving me those looks" .... teasing me about how I would look away from her and then make my order... anyways I played along, we talked for a few minutes and enjoyed some laughs and I grabbed her number.
I did screw up and not suggest we should meet up sometime soon before grabbing the #.. oops, won't happen again. I texted her an hour or so after I left something like great meeting you and wanted to confirm her name or how it was spelled etc, which she did respond to while still at work, and then I screwed up again asking if she had any free time to chill this week, which got no response ( she was still at work, horrible text on my part) .......... So 2 nights later I call her thinking I'll talk for a few minutes and then try to set up a meet the next day, no answer, so I text her something like ... "Hey Pola, how you doing? Awkward man with the flip phone here hah. We met on sat at xxxxxxx... Charles"
She responded to that like 5 minutes later in text and I asked her about things that she talked to me about when I met her such as how that might have been her last night there etc... so I figured I replaced the phone call with text messages..... Sent her the meet up request text next night, few hours later agrees that we should get together and tells me she's working Thursday and Saturday, Told her that sounds good and I'll be in contact with her tomorrow and we'll set it up.
Just messaged her hours ago and suggested we meet for a drink at a hotel bar at 9pm, she responded an hour later saying that she would have to see if she could do it friday because she promised her friend dinner, but possibly after?
That was her response, It felt like it was meant to throw me off, and it did. I replied "Ok.. We could meet up a bit later than that. What works better for you, friday night around 10, or meet up sunday night instead?"
After I sent it, it felt sort of weak. Not really sure what the best play is in situation like that though. So now she hasn't replied to that and probably will not reply. I know she's working tomorrow and it's the worst time of the week to try to set up meets. A lot of guys get all butt hurt and stop persisting in these cases, but something tells me I need to persist (but definitely not chase)
She has already agreed to getting together... but I'm definitely not sure how to play this one from here on out. Oh by the way a big left out key is that she knows I'm leaving NYC to go back to Cabo Mexico (where I live) .... So I think I have to remind her that I'm going to be here for another week, and think we should meet up soon.
Sorry I know this is a long message. Would appreciate any input. Thanks
Hope I get a pass for this one
Pretty sure I just screwed it up sending her two texts...
"Pola, hey! Hope all is well :) I'm not going to be free until 11. Do you want to get together after dinner around then?"
30 min later I read something on here and pretty much copied it and it was definitely a mistake, it was advice you were giving someone else to say in a situation where a girl told him she was busy all week but might be able to meet up on Friday.
it went something like...
"But I've got to know, really soon, if we're going to set it up. Otherwise let's schedule it for another day. Preference?"
I feel like it was real bad that I sent the second one. Girl has already agreed to getting together sometime soon and has been submitting to me. She didn't say no to Friday night and not suggest another time..... she basically suggested that we might be able to meet after she went to dinner but clearly showed uncertainty. The right move of course was to say right then and there that I could meet up a bit later, but would need to basically know now when we'd be meeting up and if not we can schedule a different day.
God damn, this girl is really cute too. I'm pretty sure she isn't going to respond and I'm going to not message her for 48hrs+ and then maybe let her know that I'll be leaving town a week from then.
She told me she vacations a lot and needs to get out of the city asap. So I think it'll be a good move to remind her that I'm leaving and she'll be in admiration.
Anyways, if Chase or anyone else who has experienced something like this has some good advice please let me know. Thanks.
help hacking
I built up an online profile and started chating with some girls on email. Turned out somebody hacked my gmail. Im now so scarred of the consequences! Has it ever happened to any of you??
Email Hacking
Hey Anon,
Hacking happens all the time, reset your password. Then tell your email provider of the weird activity on your account.
Just Dave
Nice Guys Dillema vs. Prisoners Dillema
I have a brother. He's 20. He has the most convicted, white knighted mentality of all my family members. Sometimes I steer the conversation, and we start talking about relationships. Then, he has the audacity to lecture me of what women want and don't want. He has only one girlfriend, and from the looks of their relation, that he doesn't know what women want. I remember the interaction vaguely. Basically putting this woman on a very high pedestal (saying how his girlfriend doesn't compare to other girls because they are all "sluts") while shaming the entire race of women (women are sluts, they're stupid, they're not like my girlfriend, its hard to find women as faithful as her, ect.) I am getting sick and tired of hearing this over and over again; its time consuming and wasteful and energy draining. I used to give him long speeches about this particular topic. I (now) only give him a short slick of advice, when he presents me with one of his problems. Nevertheless, no matter what I do or what I say. He is still going to lecture me about women and their wants and their needs. How do I basically get him to shut up? Not stop talking about relationships completely, but enough to where he isn't going to lecture me like the example from this article. How do I negotiate something so simple to a knight who's convicted? I would, if I could just bundle everything I have read from this article and just negotiate with him properly.
I perceive the nice guy to be my brother and the prisoner is me.
Short term goals over longer term ones.
Long term goals over short term goals.
Whatever is best for the me and the group.
How do I negotiate the nice guy problem from a position of strength? (I hope that's not a stupid question)
Have You Ever
Hey Loveable,
The magic phrase to use here is, "Have you ever thought about it like this?" Then explain the reasoning for why you're doing it. Don't try to force or muscle people into something. People have to want to change for themselves. You're just to there to be a guide. You gotta lead by example.
Take care,
Just Dave
Sense of Humour
Chase your articles are incredibly amazing,but I have been lately encountering a problem with my Sense of Humour while talking to girls. I want to directly ask you that, How to make a girl smile and have fun with her, without coming across as a clown and maintaining your sexual vibe and being edgy?
Please help me Chase, because I want bring life into my interactions.
Article Links
Hey Anon,
Check out this article links.
Smile Warmly
Importance of Fun
Take care,
Just Dave
Article suggestion
'Note that the friend zone is different from being an actual full-on friend to a woman whom that woman actually still considers a sexual option and would sleep with given the right circumstances. Such a man she still respects as a man but doesn’t sleep with merely because the circumstances aren’t right and/or he is keeping their relationship unconsummated. A man who doesn’t sleep with a friend because he prefers not to sleep with her is very different from a man who doesn’t sleep with a friend because he doesn’t know how to or cannot sleep with her.'
I really like what Chase says in this paragraph. I've been looking for an answer surrounding this for a while. Could make a suggestion of doing an article elaborating on the man who is a full on friend to a woman but is still considered a sexual option by her. It could have things like how this guy is different to the guy who is friendzoned, how men who want to keep these girls as options should interact with them and so on.
For instance, I used to hang out with a group of 5 really hot girls while I was at university. I never made a move on any of them, but just did light flirting etc. I used to catch them checking me out and being a bit flirty with me, and thought at least 3 of them fancied me at some point but just assumed it was a coincidence. I didn't particularly want to sleep with them at the time as they were excellent social proof at bars and I didn't want to lose that. Now out of of uni, we don't hang out as much. I never felt I was in the friendzone with any of them (e.g never put them on a pedestal, was never too available or spoke/text/rang them outside of seeing them in person. Would it be the case that these girls full into the category of girls who see me as a full on friend who is a sexual option?
Sister Site
Hey Chase and the gang. I stumbled upon your website about a few months ago and really enjoy reading your posts. I always agree with your explanations of women and the way we behave, sometimes I even learn new things about my behavior as a woman.
Anyway I was just wondering if you know of any trustworthy dating advice sites for women, because a lot of them seem to be absolute rubbish which just give terrible advice. Or maybe would you guys be willing to team up with experienced women to create something like a "Guys Chase" website geared towards women and decoding man behavior etc?
Always an eye-opener reading your articles :)
There Is One Good One
Munchkins,
I've mentioned the one below a few times before, and it's a pretty solid website for women (in my opinion). There are a few fallacies among its articles, but for the most part, it's extremely well written and provides lots of solid advice that women could really use to get on the right track with dating, men, and relationships.
It's called "The Feminine Woman," and the article author's name is Renee. Here is the link:
The Feminine Woman
Cheers,
Franco
Thanks!!!
Thanks for the reply, I'll check it out
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