Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations | Girls Chase

Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations

You’ve probably been brought up to think that leaning on posts, putting your feet up, leaning back on chairs, and slouching a little bit is the key to looking good in the classroom, but if we are being honest here, no one cares, and these little tweaks are not really going to have any impact on girls noticing you.

casual body language

What gets girls noticing you is never as simple as showing you don’t care, mostly because it doesn’t stand out to them as different from the other guys they see daily doing the same things. And none of those men lay themselves back so well that girls rush to them and instantly start talking with them, so it begs the question: why are you really acting that way, and is this method attractive?

In all likelihood you are choosing the easiest path, a path you haven’t really thought about very much, a path that relies on some mysterious undercurrent to be at play that will bring you luck and a girl. But we have to not only ask “Is this pragmatic?”, we also have to ask “Is the way I’m handling this attractive?”.

Cody LyansAbout the Author: Cody Lyans

Girls Chase’s resident “man of mystery”, Cody shows shy, quiet guys how to turn these traits into assets. Girls call his style “cool and calibrated”; he’s adept at smoothly meeting girls everywhere from the beach to the dance floor. Cody prides himself on versatility, and specializes in both fast (~20 minute) hookups, and slow, sensual seductions. Book a phone coaching session with Cody today to learn from him directly.

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Comments

Anonymous's picture

Cody, your writing style is impractical and rambling. You haven't really added anything to past posts, and the only solid things you've said are that there is a psychological aspect - not that you actually explained how to change that practically- of needing to be open, to try to be natural, and that you should expose your chest more. You put a ridiculous amount of focus on unrelated concepts(you have no substance and therefore not topics) such as white knights and egos, BJs and sports(not even sure how you managed that one). When you are writing an article about body language, try to always be clear, concise and on topic. In general you'll want to be practical and make it easy for your readers to understand not only the concepts but the practical application as well. You definitely have a lot of interesting things to say but unless you refine your style quite a bit you'll continue coming off as incompetent, and even worse, continue being unhelpful.
Best wishes-anon

Anonymous's picture

He wrote so much yet said so little. I was reading and thinking "ok when am I going to get the meat of this article?" Hopefully you take it as constructive criticism.

Lovely Bird's picture

Guys, this article does not address concepts and ideas because that would only be contradictory to the point being addressed. The article is about relaxing and going with the flow of the environment, creating concepts and ideas will only ruin this. Cody expresses in a simple manner because he wants to stop your over-thinking on the situation at hand. Got it? Got it. ;)

Anonymous's picture

When I first started making a conscious attempt to stand up straight because of back problems, it was one of the hardest things to do. For one, standing straight was very unnatural, being a sloucher for more than 30 years of my life. For another, I was a low-confidence man and standing straight means projecting something I lacked. Needless to say, I felt like a fraud who will be discovered at any given moment.

The other thing, too, is my back muscles were so weak that it actually hurt to stand up straight! It would take me two months before my new posture started feeling normal.

It's funny how we are able to trick our minds with our bodies. Feeling stressed? Find something to laugh at and you'll feel better right away. Feeling down? Force a smile and laughter to turn it around.

So yes, we fight both psychological and physical factors when adopting a new posture. Or for that matter, anything new we learn!

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Practice makes perfect, I remember the same problem I had when I started breathing from diaphragm. You truly have to work out on it to the best of your ability. When you train your mind to do something through perseverance it's really hard at first, but then you get the hang of it. It slowly becomes natural or normal as you put it. I really do appreciate how we can trick our minds as well.

Just Dave

Explozive Results's picture

I go to a particular pub regularly... I sit with my back to the bar so I'm facing the patrons, usually leaning back on the bar with one arm crooked over it, my feet up on a second chair. Very relaxed.

Girls definitely notice... They steal glances... Some say "Hi" in passing... Some come over and introduce themselves to me... Some buy me drinks... Some hit on me...

So I strongly disagree with the statement "no one cares, and these little tweaks are not really going to have any impact on girls noticing you."

However, I agree that it's lazy. The girls stealing glances across the room aren't much use if they never come over. So sometimes you've got to get up off your arse and make something happen.

But compared to other things you could be doing like wandering around lost or staring into a Smartphone all night, it's definitely an advantageous practice.

Author
Cody Lyans's picture

BL to fish for attention its not really going to impact your results in any deep way. So be careful with that.

Assess when and where the utility of body language will matter and why.

BL matters most when in isolation, or during the first few minutes of conversation, not so much during post ups, so try to get out of the view of BL is "posting up".

In short(if the above is too scattered): Body language matters most when you have assessed its impact in expressing or achieving something you understand.

Crunch's picture

Could not agree more with comment title 'Cody, your writing style is' by an Anonymous.

I've never posted before on this site, and I'm miffed that my first post is to validate a criticism...

I didn't get anything new out of this article at all, or even understood why it exists. If anything, now I appreciate the finer aspects of the most well-crafted articles on Girls Chase.

J.J.'s picture

Of course, body language alone isn't what will get you girls, but I would argue that body language is immensely important, and far more important and critical than the author of this article suggests.

After all, nonverbal trumps verbal. Body language is a huge part of that. If I had to choose one particular component that really affects your ability to get women, is eye contact. Eye contact, along with touching, of course.

jake's picture

Cody yo, Chase already (and COlt also believe) covered body language to its fullest degree, I know what I am asking might be hard or challenging but can we get something completely NEW! This site has been running for three years and Chase might have already covered everything so it might be a tall order, and to tell you the truth I read about Chases stuff most of the time only, every other writer writes about the same things only in different ways, the only one that I remember bringing something new to the table was Ricardus, so nothing else written really adds to the discussion, and I am paying monthly when I only read a few articles a month(should probably stop now that I feel that I know everything) but man , Cody it would be awesome if you could maybe write something different and new cause I see your writing and you seem talented, maybe some topic that is more advanced than all of this beginner stuff that has already been covered. Anyway thanks man!

Author
Cody Lyans's picture

Ah thanks man,
I think the best criticism is that it has been covered a lot,
However the point is still somewhat crucial, you want to understand behind what things mean, not just display things you don't understand.

Its very important to drill that point home. I could have done it better, but hindsight is 20/20.

I can certainly give thought to throwing you some more advanced curve balls to give you that fresh hit.
I appreciate that you guys recognise the talent/interesting idea edge I have.

I'll do what I can, :)
I'd appreciate if criticisms where aimed a little nicer, like this, just so I can get to the content of them better. I do have other responsibilities and anything that helps frictionless efficiency, helps things get through. I do appreciate the comments though but also repeats generally aren't too necessary, the more things don't feel "picky" to me the more I usually can quickly pick up on the point without having to first assess how valid it is. So just keep that in mind, and I'll keep what you guys figure out as good directions in mind.

Always stuff to tighten up, but we don't have to get too tough love about it, cuz its a process.
All the best,
Cody

Troy's picture

Cody

I am totally confused. Why write about all this when you are telling us readers to do opposite what Chase wrote about extensively. I wonder now if all the writers meet together and become one with the advice given. It would have been better if this article was titled "how to learn fundamentals".

Chase wrote back to a comment someone made on how to learn fundamentals that it's just to practise doing it until it becomes natural. It's the same as when learning to ride a bike. You don't learn the first time you step on.

I have been practising my fundamentals from the past 3 months and you mean to come tell me now that fundamentals (posture, fashion e.t.c.) don't make me more attractive. I'm just like a mental masturbator. Then why learn game if fundamentals don't work. All you saying is forget what rubbish Chase said about learning to fix posture. Just be natural till it comes naturally. It would be better it not been mentioned in here if that's so. Just write, " become confident and your posture becomes automatically fixed.

Why not teach about how to be natural, body language to avoid e.t.c.
Cody, I see in your articles that you are good at writing, so please continue to write. However, if your writing style doesn't change then you will keep coming across as incompetent or worse you get more things reputation hits on your posts.

Keep writing though
All the best,

Troy

Chase Amante's picture

Figured I'd weigh in here briefly.

There are a few criticisms on Cody's article:

  1. Writing isn't clear
  2. Message conflicts with previous articles
  3. Disagreement about using body language to meet girls

I won't comment too much on Cody's writing style; it's always been a bit spider webby. He actually makes a lot more sense now than when we used to post back in the mASF days; I think I was one of about 3 people or so that could parse the meaning of his posts back then and come away saying, "Wow; that was incredibly profound and I never looked at it that way or realized I could do that." Everyone else would just scratch their heads and wonder what this crazy guy was talking about.

However, this crypticness is exactly one of the things about Cody that also makes him attractive to women. He's this kind of confusing, perplexing puzzle box they just keep trying to piece together but aren't quite able to.

The message of "don't learn body language; learn the mentalities" is what I'd call a selective message; it's going to be extremely helpful for some guys, and distracting for others. If you have very good intuition already (especially good social intuition), and your confidence around women is already pretty sharp, you just need a little tweaking, Cody's message here will be very useful for you, because it will liberate you from focusing on the minutiae you don't really need to focus on and allow you to zero in on the big picture, which is probably all you need.

If your social intuition needs tweaking or your confidence around women isn't the best, in my opinion you will probably be better served handling the outward body language displays to create the mind-body feedback loop and get some early good reactions that'll help improve your confidence (or, conversely, your awareness of how to respond in social situations) to the level where advice like Cody's here is more practical.

On the effectiveness as a pickup tool - Cody's primary message here was that if you're focusing a lot of energy on using your body language as an attractor, you're probably better off just walking up to girls and not even worrying about body language by contrast, which I'd agree with. Very good to enhance your body language - if you can get the mindset behind it and let it flow effortlessly from that, as Cody recommends, that's ideal; however, that's also difficult, so if the best you can do is to simply emulate good body langauge I think that's fine as well (and what I recommend for most guys starting out) - but far MORE important that you actually go meet girls.

I will tell you right now that I spent a lot of time in my teenage years looking very cool with my badass body language and getting girls checking me out and flirting with me like crazy, but at the end of the day I'd still have to watch those girls pair off with the guys who actually went up to talk to them and ask them out. If I'd have worried more about taking action than how I looked, I'd have had a much happier time as a youth.

In addition to the giving some thoughts on some of the points raised by commenters, I also wanted to take a moment to discuss Cody's point about body language's primary use being to communicate context in interactions is excellent, and not a point I've heard made elsewhere in quite the same way. I and other writers have talked about nonverbal communication and responding to some things women say / do with nonverbal, but Cody actually has almost entire nonverbal conversations with women and is ace at this like few guys out there. If you really want some of the good stuff, see if you can get him to write something about some of his nonverbal nightclub pickup stuff (it's a little hard to understand, but... worth it if you like clubs).

On reading: I recommend Cody for advanced guys looking for a different take, and for guys who already have strong social skills and solid confidence with women and just want to download the mindsets of a guy who's natural at girls fast. If you're newer and you need very clear instructions, you will have a difficult time with Cody, who's a brilliant guy but sometimes speaks in riddles, and is anything but into mechanical technical details.

Chase

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