Dating Rules

Sometimes a girl will flake because she sees you as unattainable or as too high or low value. Here’s how to react, pass her tests, and get her to show up.

We were supposed to meet at 7 for drinks one weekday evening.

I sent her an anti-flake text at 11:10am that said “See you tonight, lady,” to which she did not respond. I showed up at the venue at 6:05 and didn’t see her anywhere.

I sent another: “Just got here.” Then I waited. I knew what was happening. I didn’t hear from her until 7:20.

“Hey! Sorry – lost track of time, such a busy day. I’m just going to shower quickly and then I’ll head over that way.”

We were going to have drinks about five minutes walking distance from her own apartment.

By the time she showed up, it was 8:45. In the meantime, I chatted with my buddies on my laptop, had a beer, and wrote about 1000 words of this article.

She arrived about two hours late and apologized profusely, but I could tell she was nervous as hell, and I knew why.

We didn’t go home together that night, but it’s only because she didn’t see me as attainable for what she was looking for at the time, and I ended up being too needy in my behavior. However, up to that point, everything was handled.

You might be asking, “Why in the world would Varoon wait almost two hours for a girl to show up to a date? I’d probably have left after about fifteen minutes.” Normally, if a girl is that late, I’ll just text her, reschedule, and preserve my own time.

However, this situation was completely different because the core issue in the girl’s behavior was my attainability, not my value. Just understanding that required a completely different strategy to handle the issue and preserve my chances. This girl knew my value and thus wanted to slow-play the dating process. To get her, I realized I had to play into that.

Want an easy way to make a girl want it more in the bedroom? Make your physical escalation go 10% slower than she wants it to go.

One of the biggest aspects of sexual enjoyment is not the actual sex itself.

During the act itself, you might use good technique and be passionate. These things help up a woman's enjoyment (and yours).

But like a young child biding his time until Christmas, it is the anticipation that heightens her enjoyment of the experience most. Good sex (like a good Christmas) is magnitudes better with proper buildup and anticipation before it.

How do you build all that anticipation in her? I talked about some ways in an article some years back: "How to Turn a Girl On: 3 Tiers of Sexual Excitement."

Today I'll talk about another way: escalating just slightly slower than she wants you to.

Wouldn’t it be great if your partner behaved more to your liking? The Pygmalion Effect shows us how to shape the behavior of others in a subtle-yet-profound way.

This week, I’m taking a break from writing about polyamory. Reading my other articles is not a prerequisite to understanding anything in this one.

Though this article isn’t part of my Polyamory series, I’m writing it because I realized some people may be confused by what I wrote in my second article in the series, particularly about finding women with certain qualities. I want to clear up some misconceptions while giving you guys some tools to up your game even more.

What I failed to emphasize in that article was that I’m not just looking for women who already possess certain qualities. Sometimes, I’m also using real, psychological principles to shape their attitudes and behaviors to be more aligned with those qualities. In fact, none of the women I am currently dating identified as polyamorous before meeting me.

Essentially, I converted them, changing their attitudes little by little. In other words, if you want to be polyamorous, you’re not necessarily limited to a small dating pool of women who already identify as polyamorous or possess the qualities I told you to screen for. To an extent, you can “install” those qualities into beautiful women you’re already attracted to.

Many people will read my second Polyamory article and say “Those kinds of women are so rare! It would be so difficult to find those kinds of women in abundance – especially hot ones!” Well, think again. Many of you guys might bemoan that so many hot women you’ve met are selfish, inconsiderate, or otherwise the opposite of what you value in a partner’s personality, but this is just another obstacle you can overcome with the tools I’m about to hand you.

It's grown trickier and trickier for bachelor men to navigate the dating world… without getting snared by a scorned woman's revenge. Here's how to stay safe out there.

"Every man is a potential rapist."

So goes the pop culture wisdom sweeping the West right now. 'Rape culture' hysteria has built to a fevered pitch throughout the 2010s, to the point where hiding under every bed, lurking inside every wardrobe, a Rapist lies in wait... eager to pounce on his hapless victim and ravage her with his Weapon of Oppression, the penis.

I try not to go into culture-specific issues too much on Girls Chase. Same with era-specific issues. "This too will pass"; and once it's over people will find it insane and unrelatable. "Was it really that bad?" they will ask.

We've talked about all this stuff on Girls Chase before in different articles. Today's is a bit of a tie-up article though, because as the West hits peak hysteria, Western men's paranoia is peaking as well. I see more and more and more stuff from men who are freaking out that talking to women or sleeping with them is going to land them in a penitentiary, with the 'sex offender' label slapped to their backs forever when they get out.

So let's talk about staying safe meeting girls in a hysterical, paranoid dating society.

With the spread of liberal ideologies, interracial dating is now widely accepted… and in a way, exciting for girls. Here’s how to make the most of being a minority.

Everyone is a minority somewhere. If you’re a white guy and you go to Africa, you will be a vanilla gem for all the dark girls. If you’re black and you go to Eastern Europe, you’re going to be dark chocolate for all the white girls. If you’re Asian and you go to South America, you will be a sexy, squinty-eyed, kung-fu dickin’ dude.

Being a minority, wherever you are, has both advantages and disadvantages, and right now, the advantages have never been higher. This is due to a few reasons.

Firstly, liberal ideologies stood as the dominant political schema for a long time. I’d say a strong three or four decades. Left-leaning ideas infiltrated politics, academia, social media – everywhere.

And liberalism is… well, liberal. Open. Wide. I have some theories on why liberal ideologies dominate certain time periods and why conservative ideologies dominate others, but one consequence of liberal ideologies is sexual liberation. This sexual liberation not only enables women to sleep with lots of guys but also lots of different kinds of guys.

Moreover, any resistance to women screwing minorities is met with a very strong shame frame – insecurity. Women use insecurity as a frame all the time. They attempt to subvert your sexuality and dominance by making you fear the possibility of shame and ostracization.

When it comes to having sex with non-traditional guys, it goes like this. A girl comes from a predominately white background. Let’s say the Midwest of America (where I grew up). A conservative area. Bible belt. So she doesn’t see many Latino or black guys. But when she does, there’s an unspoken – or even spoken – stigma around it. I've seen lots of Confederate flags where I'm from.

Her attraction to a Latino or black guy is dangerous. She could be shamed for it. But if he’s attractive, she can’t help it. People can’t help who they’re attracted to. Him being Latino or black usually isn’t enough in and of itself to attract her, but if he’s attractive and he’s a minority, that creates a dark fantasy. It’s forbidden. It’s shameful. Why?

Want to plan a second or third date to make her fall head over heels for you? Well, bust out your best cookware and have her for dinner... and dessert.

This article was written in response to a reader wondering what I do to cause a new girl I’ve had sex with to become so infatuated with me that she is willing to see me on a regular basis.

My answer? Invite her over for a home date where you do a cookout together and sex will be the dessert. Follow my advice in this article, and that girl will want to see you multiple times.

I have almost eight years of experience maintaining a harem, so I can answer this question by describing how I plan and execute a meet at my place. Firstly, I only keep top-quality girls in rotation. For me, quality means hot bodies and sexual liberation. (If we were using classic PUA lingo, we would call them super-hot babes, commonly shortened to SHB.)

I will cover the most important aspects of making a girl want to meet with you regularly for as long as you like. This article is directed at you guys that know how to hook and get girls interested enough that they are willing to go home with you.

I’m assuming you’ve already had at least a coffee date with your girl where you made a good impression. If you are curious as how to set up a great coffee date, there are some fantastic Girls Chase articles which cover that very subject. If you made a good impression the first or second time you saw her, she should have no issue agreeing to the home date idea.

In the dating world, neediness is poison. By giving her escape routes and keeping an open-door policy, she’ll discover you’re no ordinary sap… and start chasing.

Every day, I kiss the gods’ feet for allowing me to escape The Land of Incels. Did you know that 7% of men sleep with nearly all the world’s most beautiful women? I didn’t make that stat up. It’s hard science, like Newtonian Gravity. Indisputable.

Most men live in extreme romantic scarcity, an arid wasteland, devoid of connection with women – with themselves, even. They wander through existential deserts, seeking that Disney-esque moment when they’ll be introduced to some random, half-cut unicorn at the staff Christmas party. And that’s how it is for 93% of us.

Of course, this kind of introduction rarely, if ever, happens – well, not to me anyway. If they finally attract a hot girl, those ancient fears arise: losing her attention, sensing her attraction dipping. At her slightest withdrawal, they’ll claw desperately for it, like a puppy at a milk-loaded teat.

They don’t want her to abandon them, and the harder they grasp for reassurance of commitment, the weaker the strings of intimacy become. Until one day, they finally crumble, like bone dust through their heavily moisturized fingers.

In dating and seduction, neediness is poison, and abundance is honey. It’s contrary to everything we’ve been taught in the West: that the man who provides the most, who is the sweetest, most caring, doting, and available, will win the fair maiden’s heart for all eternity. This is fake news. It’s a load of rubbish and doesn’t work for the average guy.

Women are repulsed by neediness. They want a man who challenges them to be their best selves. They should feel as if they have just enough of your attention, and if they were to slip up, you could fall for another girl. She needs to chase you.

It’s natural to want someone if you find them attractive. But keeping a girl cornered, psychologically or physically, is not only poor game but relationship blackmail. It will always have the opposite, paradoxical effect. Approach game requires some push-pull, some abundance mentality – as do longer relationships.

In the A-to-Z of seduction, the girl must feel she’s in a relationship out of choice – that she’s better off with you than without you. Whether it’s one night or for life, she’s invested, not coerced or manipulated. The more she invests, the bigger the loss if the prospect were to collapse.