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Dating Rules

Learn the rules of dating.

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Tactics Tuesdays: Fielding Women's Counteroffers

Chase Amante's picture
woman standing with hand on hip thinkingWhen you propose a date or anything else, a woman may counteroffer her own suggestion. Should you take it? Or stick to your guns? This 4-part decision tree shows you what to do.

Responding to my article on guys not needing much money to get girls, reader Newyorkboy asks about women having 'resistance to doing' cheap or costless dates.

As an example, he cites this incident posted on SoSuave.net by a user named 'powersize':

Texted a latina girl in IG, after a short convo proposed to meet. She is 7/8 - not a dime for me. Below is our conversation:

Me: Are you free tonight?
Her: Maybe. Where would you like to take me?
Me: There is one hipster pub close to center
Her: I can’t drink alcohol. I prefer somewhere more relax.
Me: Coffee?
Her: No. A restaurant where we don’t have that much noise
Me: I do not go on dinners on the first date
Her: I do. That’s what gentleman should do At least that’s what I am getting used to.
Me: So you define if the guy is a gentleman if he brings to you to a fancy place?
Her: Who says it has to be fancy. I define a gentleman a man who takes his time to take me somewhere. A coffee is something I can do anytime
Me: Too bad. Cause I love coffee meeting that people can do anytime
Her: Enjoy your coffee then

I do consider her as a typical chick who is looking for guy. So no reply from my side.

What do you think?

In light of the abysmal text game on evidence here and the fact that this fellow is messaging girls in Instagram, the girl's reaction is pretty standard. Generous, even, I'd say.

Most of the time when you fail at game, you get a rejection. But sometimes when you fail at game, girls will still offer you a shot as a provider.

That's what happened here.

Of course, if you're going to be a provider, you have to provide. You cannot start talking about your rules of never doing dinner dates or talking up the glory of cheap dates once she's slotted you into the provider role.

So not only did this cat fail at game, he could not fulfill the provider role either -- and he at last received the inevitable rejection.

How could he have done things differently and achieved a different result?

One part of the answer lies in how he deals with fielding women's counteroffers.

Tactics Tuesdays: Converting Cautious High Count Girls

Chase Amante's picture
converting cautious high count girlsCertain girls you’ll bed, do it all right with, yet not see again. Why? Some of them are “cautious high count” girls. But there’s a way to lay them once more…

This is a fairly niche article, targeted at advanced seducers, but it'll answer some questions for you if you're a high volume playboy who gets a bunch of lays off night game or dating apps.

There's a certain breed of woman who likes to party and hook up with new men, yet retains a high degree of skepticism toward non-safe men when it comes to entering relationships.

We'll call this girl the 'cautious high count girl'.

She is your stereotypical "hook up with the bad boy but date the good guy" girl. She craves stimulation, but dislikes being around a guy long-term she doubts she can command exclusivity from. She's a stimulus-seeking gal who nevertheless desires devotion from those she sees regularly.

You'll get one-night stands with these girls, off of either night game or dating apps.

Everything will seem to go great; she has a lot of fun, and you find the girl exciting and hope to see her again.

Only, she won't see you again.

Nothing is 'wrong'; she doesn't have any sex regret after being with you, nor was she stupidly drunk and just 'made a mistake' or anything like that.

She's just the total opposite of the girl with a small dating pool, is all.

If you do manage to get her out, she voices repeated resistance to anything that remotely seems like "starting a relationship" with you -- it's not that she's against relationships in principle; only against relationships with you.

How do you convert a gal like this?

By stepping outside the usual boxes she puts men in.

When Should You Seal the Deal with a Girl?

Alek Rolstad's picture
seal the deal with a girlShe’s into you. Should you seal the deal with this girl now… or put it off to later? Now, usually. Yet while nothing’s promised, sometimes it may pay to delay.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Previously, we discussed whether one should go for a same day or night pull or go for her number and set a date later. If you want a detailed answer, check out my previous post.

Today I will discuss a similar subject: whether one should try to escalate to intimacy or back down and focus on the next date.

A typical example: the logistics are better than the example in the previous post; she is at your place. Should you go for the kill or take it chill and extend the seduction to another meeting?

Making the right call will depend on your field experience, gut feeling, and your evaluation of variables to assess the situation.

The only way to develop that gut feeling is through practice, trial and error, and learning from your failures. There is no other way around it.

Hopefully, this post will clarify a few things.

First, I want to recap the pitfalls of arousal and how they link to female state control (FSC) and anti-slut defense (ASD). If you are familiar with those, you can skip the next section. However, a refresh is always a good idea.

Unlike my previous posts suited for seducers of all levels, this post is ideal for advanced players. However, there’s no harm to beginners and intermediate guys reading this. Making the right call is difficult, so I recommend that beginners try to seal the deal when the logistics allow for it, even if they fail, since failure, although frustrating, may teach a lot. Beginners are more likely to misjudge, opt for the safe route, and not escalate, which statistically may give fewer results.

Why Girls Suddenly 'Pop Back Up' Again

Chase Amante's picture
girls pop back upShe quit responding to your texts, but then, months later, there she is, messaging you to meet up. What happened, and why did she reappear?

Remember that girl you were texting a couple months ago, who kept dodging your date requests, then eventually ghosted you completely?

Well, she just texted you again, and now it seems like she wants to meet.

What the heck happened?

Should you accept her invitation after that, well, period of darkness she put you through?

There's a simple explanation for why women go through these 'dark periods', and once you understand it, you probably won't take them too personally.

That explanation is this:

She started seeing some other guy, and dropped off the map.

However, she has now stopped seeing him, and she's back on the map again.

How to Compete with the Other Guys Texting Her

Alek Rolstad's picture
men on her phoneAs more and more men crowd into women’s profiles and messages, how do you get a girl’s attention on the phone? By declining to compete the ordinary ways.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Earlier this year, I discussed how neo-direct game makes everything much harder. It can trigger premature rejections as women display high standards from being in a position of power, which you put them in by showing too much interest too early.

Because of the surge of neo-direct game, many men who experiment with cold approach pickup would face harsh rejections and find women acting testy and displaying insanely high standards (because men put them in a position where they do so).

To add to the frustration, the popularization of online dating apps such as Tinder have a bad male-to-female ratio (over 70% of men). Plus, women often use Tinder to promote their Instagram. It is discouraging to be ignored constantly and not receive likes and not have girls respond to your messages.

So men feel that women have high standards:

  • Men don’t get results and are ignored on Tinder

  • Men get rejected prematurely in real life from using the wrong approach

  • Women are in a powerful position to do so due to the frame men set

But there is another dimension I would like to discuss here.

Let’s say, after plenty of harsh rejections in real life, that a guy finally gets a decent hook out of luck.

Now that is awesome! I am happy for him.

He takes her number. He texts her. No response. Or maybe she responds, but now she doesn’t seem nearly as interested. And maybe when the time comes, she flakes.

We have seen an epidemic of flakes lately. There’s a reason why texting products are in high demand. It’s extremely frustrating not to get a response from a girl you thought you had a good shot with, but when she flakes, it is devastating.

This is the subject I want to discuss today. I will not cover the basics for why women may flake, which could be summarized as:

  • Her mood may change when you are not around. She was stimulated when you met her, but tomorrow is a different day, and she’s in a different mood.

  • As time has passed, she may have forgotten how you made her feel. Her compliance lowers.

  • Because of the limitations of texting (she can’t hear your voice, see your face, and vice versa) and you are not communicating in real-time, you cannot calibrate on the spot.

So she may flake.

But something has changed over the years. Back in the day, a solid interaction and some good texting would have a higher chance of leading to a meet-up than today. Of course, flakes always occur. That’s just the way things are. But things have gotten worse.

Why is that? And what can we do about it?

Planning for a First & Second Date

Chase Amante's picture
first and second dateYou won’t get together with a girl on the first date. Sometimes you’ll need several dates to get her. Plan the first and second date simultaneously and bolster your date success.

Ever since I grew comfortable going for first date hookups, that became my norm.

Yet there are times you fear you can't bed a new lover in only one date.

There are other times you may not have the time or inclination to yourself.

You can use date compression as one option to cram many dates into a short time.

Date compression constructs a 'whirlwind romance' that sweeps many women off their feet, into your arms.

There's another strategy you can use too, different from date compression or from going for it the first date.

This was the first date planning strategy I used, when I was too inexperienced to aim for intimacy in one date.

It's also one I've kept in my back pocket for scenarios where I expect to struggle to or lack the time to make it all happen in a date.

The approach is this:

Rather than plan out a first date in isolation, you plan for a first and second date simultaneously.

No Matches on Tinder? Quit the Darn Apps!

Chase Amante's picture
no matches on tinderEvery guy’s on dating apps these days. Yet we’ve never had so many dateless men. If you’re getting no matches on Tinder, it’s time to try something radical instead.

Let's talk about a critical trend in the dating world.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Reward Spiderwebs

Chase Amante's picture
reward spiderwebPeople become hooked to things that give them specific social rewards. A good seduction follows the same principle, weaving a delicious romantic spiderweb.

What's it take to create a masterful seduction... one that pulls a woman in and magnetizes her to you, all the way to intimacy?

Talented seducers do something different from what ordinary daters do.

Well, they do many things different, but we're talking about one in particular today:

They construct a path of rewarding social/romantic experiences for women to encounter as they proceed through the course of the seduction with them.

Each step of the seduction journey reinforces to the woman how good it feels to be a part of the seduction, how much she wants to be around this man, and why she must continue.

This 'spiderweb of rewards', built well, keeps a woman hooked into the seduction, a thing that feels so good she does not want to leave.

If you can get yourself to think of seduction as a 'reward generation machine', you will begin to think of it the way all master seducers do.

How & When to Reward a Woman

Chase Amante's picture
rewarding womenRewarding good behavior during courtships and relationships is pivotal to your romantic success. But just how do you go about doing that?

On my article about teasing a girl to her friends, a reader named Warcode asks:

Hi chase could you do an article on ways to generally reward her? Whether verbally or physically etc and on the basis of how does this mechanism change from the beginning of knowledge to a type of relationship? The basic mechanism and then decline it to every situation. Then, for example, I do not understand well in a relationship if giving compliments of a various nature and how to do them maybe a you're beautiful is so anonymous and recurring? And if compliments should be made / convey interest how often and of what types ?. I had also read on the forum that in sex do not pay her physical compliments because she gives her too much

Sure, I'd be glad to oblige.

Today, let's talk about rewarding women: when to do it, how to do it, and the nature of rewarding women both during the initial courtship and in ongoing relationships.

How Soon to See Her Again (After a Previous Date)

Chase Amante's picture
how soon to see herWhen should you plan your next date with her for? It depends on a few “next date determiners”, including her eagerness, both your busyness, and more.

How soon should you see a girl again after the date you just had?

Should it be the next day, a few days later, a week, or more?

Timing for your next date will often be crucial. Rush it, and you can seem over-eager or too available.

Delay too long, though, and your date may decide you aren't interested and auto-reject... or someone else may snap her up while you're waiting. Or life may intervene (she gets busy, a loved one dies, her job moves her away to Alaska, etc.).

We'll look at a few crucial factors that help determine how long (or short) you should wait to plan that next date with her.