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Dating Rules

Learn the rules of dating.

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Tactics Tuesdays: Flake-Proof Date Plans

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

flake-proof date plansTired of girls flaking on dates with you? Then it's time to flake-proof your date plans. That is: make it so flakes no longer affect your life (or dating).

I know what you're thinking: "Is Chase about to tell me how to set up dates women will NEVER flake on?"

Well, no... no I'm not.

Sorry to disappoint.

There's no way to totally avoid flakes. They are a natural part of dating life.

However, I'm going to give you the next best thing:

Ways to flake-proof your date plans, that way when girls flake, they don't bug you or inconvenience you beyond the absolute bare minimum.

Tactics Tuesdays: Text Flake Reversal Framing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

text flake reversalWhen a girl flakes on you, get her back by reverse flaking on her. You might not think it'd work – but psychology is weird (and it does work).

Over the years I've coached a lot of guys into getting girls out on dates who'd repeatedly flaked on them or ignored their messages.

There's a trick I use with this (credit: BradP) where you flip the frame on a flakey girl, and present yourself as the flaker and her as the flakey.

When I spell it out for you here, you're going to think of course it will never work.

It sounds like something that'd be so obvious no woman would ever fall for it.

Yet, even if she picks up on what you're doing (and not every girl will), it still works.

The effect is still there. She feels the emotions, feels like you flaked on her rather than the reverse, and you feel scarce and in-demand to her.

These emotions make her suddenly much more interested in coming out to meet you.

I've personally typed out messages for friends and students to send using this method that turned girls who were avoiding them into girls willing to come meet up with just a single text.

In this article, I'll tell you how I do that.

How To Incorporate Online Game into Your Dating Arsenal

Guest Contributor's picture
online gameOnline game is a convenient way to meet more women once you get it to work for you. Here's how to get it working and add it to your new-girl pipeline.

In this article, I’ll debunk a few misconceptions about dating apps and online game.

After that, I’ll give you some ways you can use today to quickly start getting better results with girls online.

Let’s start with those misconceptions.

Some guys in the pickup community steer clear of online dating apps.

The reasons largely boil down to:

#1. It doesn’t work/it’s a scam

#2. It works for some guys but won’t work for me because of (insert excuse)

#3. It’s too much work

#4. It’s “cheating”

However, I can tell you with confidence that these reasons are nonsense.

Let’s explore them one by one.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dating Second Chances

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating second chancesIf you want a second chance in dating, you'll have to convince your date to give you one, first… Fortunately, that's often easier to do than you might think.

Who says there's no second chances in dating?

I just coached a guy through a situation where he's encountering a lot of "I'm just not feeling it" and "we just don't have chemistry" objections from women.

Dating in Your Thirties is Even Better (If You're a Guy)

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

dating in your thirtiesAfter 30, is it time to hang up your dating spurs? Not quite (well, unless you're married). In fact, if you're a guy, your thirties are the best time to date you'll get.

Dating in your thirties: if you learn cold approach and seduction, it’s absolutely the best time you’ll have in your dating life.

That’s considering you’re still single and not married with kids yet.

If you are, I’m sorry. ;)

Many of my clients in their late thirties are already divorced. They’ve spent a good chunk of their life in a monogamous relationship, and now they’re single again, lacking that skill that most young men develop: game.

Every time I go to a men’s forum, a pickup or seduction group, or Reddit, some dude is asking if it’s “too late” for him.

“I’m 27, is it too late to learn game?”

“I’m 25, is it over?”

“I’m 32, am I done?”

Let me share an anecdote about age.

All through my teens and twenties, I was horribly shy around women. I wanted to have a hot girlfriend, but if I managed to weasel my way sideways into a conversation with one, I’d have a panic attack.

I don’t mean a little bit of shyness or nerves. I’d have a full-blown, huff and puff, blow my house down, panic attack. It was absurd, embarrassing, and I hated it.

Anyone who suffers from social anxiety knows it’s not a logical process. Being told to “just be confident” or “just be yourself” doesn’t work, not when the mere thought of talking to a girl sends your heart racing. Yeah, I’ll just be myself, a quaking mess that can’t form vowels and consonants.

Video Messaging Girls, Part 2: How to Video Message Her

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

video messagingHow do you send a woman video messages that draw her in and get a response? There's a science to it… and it includes what you weave into the message, as well as the tone.

Hey guys, and welcome to part 2 of my two-part series on video messaging.

You can read Part 1 (on why video messaging girls is so powerful) here.

This will be the final article that will cover some practical guidelines on how to deliver the best video message ever.

Last week I shared with you my backstory and my failures when it came to texting my way to a date. This curse was finally broken once I started sending video messages instead – I saw an immediate big change, with girls either responding right away or at least sending a video response back (higher investment from her end). All my video messaging has translated into dates.

Last week, we covered all the reasons why one should opt for video messaging instead of texting (if possible). Some of the main reasons we listed were the following:

  • Video messaging allows her to see you, your look, your vibe, your body language and so on. It also allows you to speak more freely, which is good if you are a verbose guy like me.  But the most important thing is that you get to remind her of who you are and how you made her feel – triggering anchors that may put her back into the mood she was in when she initially met you. Very important.

  • It allows you to catch her attention when you are competing with tons of other guys trying to reach her. It is also low-pressure, unlike phone calls.

  • It shows balls and confidence.

  • If she responds with a video message herself you can see her, her vibe, her reaction and so on. This gives you key information to calibrate to.

We covered many more reasons in last week’s post, so consider checking it out. Today we get more into the practical realm on how to deliver proper video messages.

Video Messaging Girls, Part 1: Why to Video Message Her

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

video messageGirls may not always respond when you text. And many girls are too shy to answer phone calls. The ideal alternative? Leave women VIDEO messages.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today’s post won’t be specific to COVID-19 (as I write this, the pandemic has taken over the world – sadly). However, what I will go over is relevant to our times.

I’m going to discuss an alternative to texting.

Digital communication is becoming the norm these days; with tons of options, but also plenty of limitations.

And I believe video messages to be the best way to interact with girls in this era of technological communication. I‘ll explain why I believe this form of communication to be WAY superior to other forms (texting in particular). Next week I’ll give you some guidelines on how I use video messaging.

Before getting into it, I will share a background story. I have been into seduction for years and have specialized in night game cold approach pickup. Ninety-percent or more of my lays have taken place on the same day or night when meeting girls.

There are several reasons why this is better than taking her contact details and going for a date at another time:

  • When you’re in front of her you have the most influence on her emotional state. Your presence can help you control the interaction and generate emotional spikes. When you’re away from her you have the least influence on her state.

  • The context in which you meet her affects her mood, hence her level of compliance to you. In a different setting – such as the day after, at her home – she will be in a different emotional space, and so may be less compliant.

  • You usually pull from the compliance you create when you meet her. You ride the spontaneous emotional spike you created that same night. When she leaves you that initial compliance spike may be forgotten.

When it comes to one-night stands, it is often easiest to get the girl on the same night you meet her. This has the highest success rate. Once you leave her, you are no longer in control of the interaction, or of her mood. It may fade, and you may lose your chances.

That’s why guys experience girls flaking or “vanishing” despite having initially had a good interaction with a girl. Personal contact info exchanged during night game is the least likely to result in a second meet-up. It is better in day game, although she may still flake, so same-day lays are also a great strategy.

Don't Tell Me You're Done Already

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

done alreadyAfter you gave it your all in a long interaction with a girl, you might be tired out. Yet she might want things to keep going, and be disappointed if they don't. What do you do?

Remember that one guy back in high school who always finished tasks before you? He got a kick out of beating everyone else to the punch, and you were left feeling inadequate because you didn’t do them as well?

In life, this happens all the time.

Here’s someone doing something you’ve never heard of before, doing it perfectly, and there’s another doing something different, also perfectly.

You end up looking at yourself, thinking, “Hey, what the hell, what are you doing right now, eating some chips, come on!”

So it is only natural when you look around a club or the street, and you see everything happening that you haven’t done before, and you get that same feeling.

You have to learn to relax that anxiety and start to look at the situation differently if you want to progress.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to LJBFs

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

let's just be friendsSometimes you make a move on a girl and she hits you with "let's just be friends." Yet just because you got one LJBF doesn't mean you're out of the running…

You make a move on a girl or ask her out.

She looks you firm in the eyes, aaaaand... "I thought we could just be friends!" she tells you.

Just like that, the wind has sucked all the way out of your sails.

I guess you have to just be friends with her now.

...

...

...

I'm kidding. What point is there to that?

You're talking to her because you want her. Either to date her or to have a fun roll in the hay with her.

When she puts the "let's just be friends" (LJBF) frame on you, you're faced with several options... but not all these options are created equal.

Tactics Tuesdays: Rewarding and Punishing with Phone Calls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

rewarding & punishing with phone callsYou can use phone calls (yes, phone calls!) to reward women for good behavior – like good vibes and happy dates… but don't call when she's been naughty…

Phone calls are totally old school and no one ever uses them anymore. Right?

Well, the truth is men have always avoided phone calls as much as and wherever possible.

Back when texting wasn't all that popular and no one had messenger apps on his phone, guys still didn't like to make phone calls. They're nerve-wracking, higher pressure, and you can't sit and think about what you want to say -- it's all happening in real time.

Yet men who learned to use them then discovered phone calls were an almost magical way to bolster good connections with girls, repair frayed ones, and get out onto dates women who wouldn't otherwise have come.

And believe it or not, in the age of furious thumbs tapping out multitudinous messages, they still do.

On the forums, guys have repeatedly noted they tried calling girls (despite thinking it was out-of-date) and were amazed how well it went. Young women whom nobody ever calls, ever, get calls from guys and the calls go great and they lead to dates and hookups.

But this article isn't about whether to use phone calls or not use phone calls.

Instead, it's for that elite subset of men among you who already use them.

And the focus here is on how to reward with phone calls... or punish with their lack.