Articles by Author: Varoon Rajah | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Varoon Rajah

Articles by Author: Varoon Rajah

Sexual Escalation with Shy Girls vs. Not Shy Girls

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By: Varoon Rajah

sexual escalation shy girls
Shy or not, the secret to getting a girl in bed is to move fast. But is the process of escalating to sex different with shy girls? Yes, and here’s how to do it.

This article is the unfortunate outcome of my many failures in pulling and escalation. People around me who know about my day game skills have been envious about my ability to meet a girl anywhere, any place, with little to no fear or anxiety. Guys tend to trip up most when it comes to approach anxiety and getting the guts to approach women – this doesn’t exist in my domain; I got over that fear many years ago.

Currently, my biggest sticking point has been at the very end of seduction – in the moment of pulling the girl back to my place, and in the moment of escalating with her. I must have lost over 200 girls by failing in the most critical point in the seduction – the moment when she’s already decided she wants to sleep with me, and I messed up with delivering on her wishes.

In this article, and in my next article series where I will discuss female self-esteem through all stages of seduction, we’re diving deep into how to escalate and close the deal with a girl when she’s at home alone (or wherever) with you, ready to have sex. Although different guys have different means to go about doing this, my focus here is on simplicity – how to read her and get her in bed with you depending on what kind of interest she shows in you.

Despite all my failures, there have also been many successes. Often failure is the best teacher – because through failure, you internalize a pattern so that you never trip up on it again, unless the pattern changes. So from my own failures as well as successes, let’s look at what patterns have visibly emerged.

Always Go for the Girl Who Wants You

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By: Varoon Rajah

go for the girl who wants you
Sometimes we let good lays slip by because we’re too focused on the wrong girl. These real-life examples show why you should always keep your head on a swivel.

Sometimes we run into dating situations which fall a bit outside the box. You’ll be going for one girl – the one you want – but another girl in the vicinity will show more interest in you.

I’ve often seen guys trip up on this situation, myself included, and today we’re going to talk about how to identify this and how to deal with it so you still get laid.

The lesson of this article is to be flexible. If you are after one girl, and a better opportunity opens up that might result in getting a different girl – it’s almost always better to go after the new girl IF the original girl is giving you murky signs of interest, or if she’s passing you on to her friend as a set-up.

There tend to be two kinds of situations where this happens, and from my own experience they are mostly in social circle situations:

  1. A girl you like doesn’t share the same enthusiasm for you but sets you up with her attractive friend instead

  2. You wind up somewhere with a girl, perhaps a place where she invited you, but a new window opens with a different girl in that circle

Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that these opportunities tend to trip up guys who are not well-versed in social circle game or are not naturals. From the point of view of most girls, most guys are either naturals or pursue the social circle approach to meet women, which is generally true (although in this decade we can also add Tinder into this mix). So girls use the most natural means for them to set up their friends, or their friends themselves will pursue – but often the guys will trip and falter... and end up dry.

Why It’s Impossible to Be Cool After College

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By: Varoon Rajah

college is your only chance to be cool
What’s it like to be cool? If you went to a 4-year college, you might know. But for those of us who were lame in college – or didn’t even go – is there any hope?

There are guys and girls out there who live normal lives, but to their detriment, they have missed out, and are still missing out on key parts of their lives. Anyone who is even the slightest bit aware of their own existence eventually becomes haunted by this fact: that it’s impossible to be cool again after college.

I live in a major city, was lucky to get a six-figure job after college, and found Girls Chase soon enough after school that I was able to meet sexy girls often – but it isn’t enough. All I’ve been able to think about the past few years is why missing out on the social experience of college haunts me. It really gets to me when my friends and coworkers talk about it, at lunch, during drinks after work, and at clubs when I hang out with them: how awesome their college days were, while mine completely sucked. Even now when I have a hot date in front of me, and she inevitably starts talking about how cool college was, it just sucks.

My life, though, was super different than most. I went through the community college and transfer route, and as a consequence, I missed out on dorm life and all that went with it as I chose to save money and focus on studying. By the time I entered my alma mater in junior year, a great school with a great name, I had realized all the social hierarchies had already formed, and I never had enough time to break in. Now I am heading into my late 20s, and I’m still haunted by what I missed out on.

It made me realize something – that college is THE time to be cool, and it’s pretty much hopeless to get anything else resolved in a guy’s life if he misses out on being cool in college.

Pickup and Seduction Styles: Which Will Work Best for You?

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By: Varoon Rajah

pickup and seduction styles
New to the dating, pickup, seduction world? Are you overwhelmed by the volume of information? This article will help economize your efforts in reaching your woman goals!

In my last article, we discussed how following conventional methods creates conventional results, whereas following an extraordinary method creates extraordinary results.

Too many follow conventional ideas yet expect out-of-the-ordinary results. Often this behavior creates disappointment and frustration.

A bigger issue is fear. People want to try new things but are afraid of taking the right risks to experience success that results from a tried-and-true system.

There are many different methods and systems men can use to meet and have sex with women. In this article, I’ll lay out all of them for you.

There’s been much debate in the seduction and pickup community about what makes for “great game.” Hardcore night gamers and people into one-night stands find the folks that go after online dating and consistent sex with low effort to be repulsive; meanwhile, the latter folks find cold approaching to be inefficient and inconsistent, putting in too many hours or effort for little reward. Then there are guys who commit to social circles and meet women through friends and their groups. And of course there are those who meet women and have sex by paying for it.

But which path is right for you?

Conventional Ideas Beget Conventional Results – How to Go Beyond

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By: Varoon Rajah

conventional ideas conventional results
If you do what ‘they’ do, you get what ‘they’ get – but it may not be what you want. If you want more than conventional, you have to get unconventional.

I was just having coffee with an old friend of mine who recently moved back to town. We were talking about his experiences with dating in a city on the US west coast where he didn’t find the quality of girls that attractive or interesting – for the last couple of years, he’s been longing to move to New York City and start a new journey with more attractive girls. I knew he worked many hours each week and spent little time learning “socially unconventional” paths to meet women.

Learning seduction, game, and pickup is one of those unconventional paths that people dream about but few implement, usually out of fear of social repercussion and shame. Yet, my friend did tell me that he attends meet-up groups, speed dating events, and social mixers to meet women – and didn’t like any of the women he met. He tried to enter new social circles and join activities with like-minded people, and he still didn’t meet a girl he liked.

Conventional dating advice that he followed told him that he should look in these places to find single women he clicked with. Much to his disappointment, after attending many events, he was puzzled as to why he didn’t meet any women he clicked with.

Why did so many people tell him to go to these events to try and find women, he asked? My response to him was pretty straightforward – conventional ideas and solutions lead to conventional results. And that clicked with him immediately.

Recently we had a poster on the Girls Chase forums discussing cold approach pickup – namely, his lack of experience with it. This poster does quite well for himself as it is – he uses a calibrated, sexy, don’t-give-a-damn, alpha guy approach in dating apps such as Tinder.

After spending years working on his profile, pictures, message style, and portraying himself as an attractive man on the apps, he tells us that sex with girls who are 6-8s on the scale and who are his type come pretty easy to him.

At this point it’s so easy, he doesn’t even find the desire to pursue these women at times. He’s so good at this game that it started to get boring, and he feels that it’s netted him the highest ROI when coupled with the good pictures and profile he’s put together. He noted that he can go out with and bang an above average looking girl at least every other week – because, according to him, on dating apps the intentions are super clear.

“I was in the school of thought that cold approaching was dead or just an overall low return on investment. Lately, I have incorporated so much into my life in regards to dating and women that I don't really have that urge and killer instinct to want to cold approach hot girls. Online dating has spoiled the crap out of me, my hobbies provide opportunities, and social circle game is starting to slowly take off for me. In many ways, I don't need cold approach…”

Yet, he also acknowledges that cold approaching is one of the few ways to realistically get the most attractive women on the higher end of the looks scale outside of his lifestyle and social circle game – and that is one of the ceilings in online dating, even though it’s comfortable and men are happy with screwing 7s.

“In the past months, I realized that I was getting girls who were solidly above average and cute. Due to hobbies, dating apps, and a host of other things, I noticed that I got quality, but it was not top tier like I wanted. The closer I approached to an 8, the more I realized that only two things were going to give me opportunities: social circle and cold approach.”

To my surprise, he used this perspective to justify his lack of effort in learning cold approach, calling it a lottery without the opportunity to get a suitable ROI, and that the apps seemed superior to cold approaching as a result. The argument here was that cold approaching is so out of touch with what other people around us do, that you’d have to be completely clueless socially to only use that method to meet women.

Well, then you have my story. I’ve spent the last 6-8 years (depending on perspective) focusing on learning cold approach dating methods – specifically, day game and approaching women in any environment in New York City, especially on the street, in subways, and coffee shops. I’m consistently able to get several phone numbers a day, several dates a week, and theoretically sleep with almost all the women I go on a date with. The numbers at the moment are quite fascinating – I’ll have more to share on this soon.

From my own perspective, the ROI of cold approaching has far exceeded what I have ever achieved through any other method I’ve tried – whether through social circles, dating apps, online dating, and more. In fact, a couple of years ago I relied heavily on dating apps to meet women – and quit because it was making me lazy about learning cold approach to get the girls of quality I truly wanted. Part of this was about finding a system that works well for what I want; the other part has just been about truly following an unconventional idea.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 10: When MLTRs Ask About Your Other Women

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By: Varoon Rajah

When MLTRs Ask About Your Other Women
It’s generally a bad idea to let MLTRs meet or know details about your other women. But what do you do when they persist in questioning you about them?

Welcome back to the Harem series!

If you’d like to recap, here’s a full list of articles in the Harem Series so far (in order):

  1. Queen Theory
  2. Jealousy and Discretion
  3. Compartments and Precedent
  4. Tiers of Girlfriends and a Man's Capacity
  5. Phases of Non-Monogamous Relationships
  6. The Talk
  7. The Ethics of Non-Transparency
  8. Non-Monogamy and Revolving Doors
  9. What Happens When Your MLTRs Meet?

In Part 9, I covered a real-life example of what happened when I brought three of my multiple long-term relationship (MLTR) girlfriends to the same event with me – long story short, it wasn’t a good experience. Even though I felt like a King having all of my girlfriends with me, and even though my pre-selection rose sky high at the event, it caused unnecessary complications and drama with every woman involved, including one that stopped seeing me altogether.

One of our goals with having a harem is to date multiple women with as little drama and management as possible. As you can surmise from my articles in the Harem series, managing your harem and your women is a process in itself – you’ve got to constantly keep tabs on your women and manage them in the context of your system.

While the harem system is not a good fit for the lazy person (it’s much better for the active hedonist), the payoff is equally great when you’re getting love, attention, devotion – and sex – from several women a week, plus opportunities to sleep with new women when you meet them down the road.

For everything to work correctly, we must minimize the drama and anything that might cause it – both for your sanity as you run the system, and also for the women themselves. Our goal is to keep the women we like who are low drama in the system for as long as we can through excellent management. By doing so, you get to have an abundance of women to spend time with every week so you can focus on other things besides game and pickup.

Anyway, women being women, they will still question you and test you about this, especially when they want to see where you stand.

Daniel Adebayo | Verbal Game Seduction (Podcast)

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By: Varoon Rajah

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase!

Today I feature Daniel Adebayo, one of our newer and younger authors on Girls Chase – and easily already one of the best night game and day game guys I’ve met and seen in action.

Still in college, Daniel has already mastered night game and day game using a combination of Gunwitch’s Seduction MMA – which we’ve featured in another podcast – and his emotional stimulation, social frame, and sexual frame techniques. He also utilizes a good amount of Alek Rolstad’s sex talk.

He’s easily one of the most innovative and consistent gamers I’ve seen, and I was lucky enough to witness him in action.

In this podcast, which we recorded together in Montreal, Quebec. We talk about how to get women in your bed using verbal game, and how Daniel’s unique style of verbal game can give any guy an edge in getting women’s attention in the modern age of overstimulation.

Valentine’s Day Survival Tips for All Relationship Types – Even Single

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By: Varoon Rajah

Valentine’s Day Survival Tips
Valentine’s Day tends to throw bombs into relationships, serious and casual. Here’s how to pass the day unscathed – or even pull a new girlfriend from the ashes.

That time of year is coming again – Valentine’s Day! It’s that day that women look forward to all year – or detest when it arrives because they have no one to celebrate with. It’s that day when you can seal a frame with a new girl, or walk away from a relationship gone cold. It’s that day when, if you don’t celebrate enough, you might cause drama; or if you celebrate too much, she loses attraction for you.

It’s also a day that can set the stage for a hedonistic Spring and Summer to come – for men and women alike.

All your relationships can potentially go haywire if you’re not careful to maintain a good frame. As Valentine’s Day approaches, here are some important things to remember this year about how to navigate V-Day. And I'll be discussing how to survive in several relationship types, not just monogamy.

How Women Test Men in the Face of Sexual Desire

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By: Varoon Rajah

tests in the face of sexual desire
If you show sexual desire toward a girl you just met, she’ll throw tests your way. If you pass with flying colors, she might get excited to have sex with you.

In my last article, we covered why it’s important to show aggressive desire to women. Too few men are doing this properly, so now you can – and should – be one of the exceptions.

What I’ve observed is that overall, guys have regressed socially. A friend and I went to a New Year’s Eve party in San Diego, and we didn’t see any men approach women in a 1,000+ person party… until around 1:00 am when every single guy was needily – and horribly – approaching every single woman they could. They got rejected after 5 minutes or less every time. This happened over and over throughout the venue.

By 1:30 am the walls put up by every single woman in that venue were sky high – even a good approach wouldn’t be entertained, unless value had been built earlier in the night when the opportunity was there. So, it’s always better to be the exception to the rule.

However, being the exception also means women will test for authenticity harder, faster, and stronger.

“I've seen it all.”

Have you ever heard this from women? I have – it’s funny when they say this because they already know all the typical emotions of a guy if they’ve had enough experience (and if they’ve been screwed over by men enough times). Despite this, you can still entertain women with your antics as long as you rebuff their tests, stay, and maintain a fun and sexy frame.

“I know exactly what you guys want.”

This is another classic test. Last time I heard it, I looked at her straight in the eye with a boyish grin and smiled as though I was enjoying myself, which I was. After a short silence, I said, “So what? Have you also seen when guys do this?” And I lightly grabbed and squeezed her ass, in a way that no one else around us could see.

“Stop!”

She pulled away a little bit, laughed and smiled at me playfully while she said it – clearly she was annoyed, but she was having fun, too. I smiled and went right back to talking about something else. We cooled off for a little while, but she came right back and locked hands with me after that. That was a first date, and we had great sex that night.

Since I recognized her tests and signals, and passed with flying colors, I knew I'd be going home with this girl, and it was fine to do it. I wouldn't recommend it if you're not absolutely sure that a girl sexually desires you. For my style, it was great – playful, fun, sexual banter. She said something that I recognized that she was testing me on, and my response was to be aggressively playful and show some sexual desire – which probably turned her on. She pulled away because we were in public – she wouldn't want our antics to be seen by anyone around her.

When you're trying to go for sex with a woman, she's going to test you. It's in her nature to do that. The real reason that women test men is that they're used to seeing all sorts of tricks by men – and no girl wants to feel like a guy is just trying to get his rocks off inside her like she’s some random girl. No girl wants to feel like she's being masturbated into. Even if it's for one night, she still wants sex to be passionate and mind-blowing – she needs the man to give her his full attention, not just to treat her like a sex doll.

What a girl tests for is how strong a man’s desire for her really is.

Women Are Attracted to Men Who Show Sexual Desire

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By: Varoon Rajah

women are attracted to sexual desire
It’s a misconception that women are not attracted to aggressive men. The truth: women go nuts for aggressive men who show their sexual desire in the right way.

Have you ever noticed how well some guys do with women? If you’re a nice guy, you might see these dudes and wonder what makes them so special, and why women like them so much. Maybe you’ve seen them at nightclubs with a stunner in heels, or maybe you’ve seen your natural friend pull girls over and over again.

The chances are that – even though I’m not talking about one specific man – you can still picture the kind of dominant, masculine, and ultimately aggressive guy that I’m talking about.

A key reason these guys get women is because they show their desire. At a very basic level, any guy who wants a girl must show his desire towards her. A girl may throw indicators of interest and other signals towards a guy, but if he doesn’t show his desire, girls often move on.

There’s another key facet here that separates the average guy from the guy who actually succeeds often. Naturals, players, and men who know how the game works understand that it is actually their aggressiveness that distinguishes them from most men. That aggressiveness – their willingness to take risks with women and go after what they want – draws women into their world.

Aggressive guys get girls more often. If you’re gaming and you want women, you must show the women around you aggressive desire, and go after them aggressively.