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Articles by Author: All

Girls Flirt When It Feels Safe to Flirt

Chase Amante's picture
girls flirt when safeWhy do girls flirt in some places but not others? Why will they flirt with some men but not others? It has as much to do with safety as it does attraction.

How do you get a girl to flirt with you?

For starters, make it feel safe for her to.

There are various ways women may feel like flirting with you is safe – ranging from because they believe there’s nothing that “can happen” to because they believe that anything that could happen would be positive.

Let’s take a quick look at what this means – how and why girls judge it “safe to flirt” – and how to use this to create meaningful flirtations that lead your seductions forward toward consummation.

5 Best Places to Use Sex Talk & Turn Girls On

Alek Rolstad's picture
sex talk on datesSex talk works great for nightlife. But it isn’t just suited to there! You can use it at parties, on dates, your place… even in day game and online.

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing great.

Today’s post is straightforward to clarify some misconceptions about my signature and favorite technique, sex talk. It’s the art of setting a sexual frame and presenting an attractive sexual persona by conveying that:

  • You are an experienced lover who knows how to provide an unforgettable sexual experience for women. You understand sexual psychology, anatomy, and techniques.

You express all this in a laid-back, indirect way. You never convey that you have direct sexual desire for her. You only discuss sexual subjects to set frames and communicate those traits about you.

This “indirectness” allows you to sexualize the interaction without facing much resistance. Combining it with smooth transitions allows you to sexualize things easily and safely.

The sex talk method has been very popular since I introduced it in the late 2000s, especially with intermediate and advanced players. It makes sense because they have an excellent overall understanding of social dynamics combined with conversational control. And both are required.

Sex talk is an essential fundamental, not an advanced skill. It’s not suited for total beginners, but intermediate guys can learn it if they are comfortable talking to girls, have a decent hook game, have good fundamentals, and can manage conversations using frame control.

Even though sex talk is very efficient, many guys disregard it. Why? Some have misconceptions and believe it is only a night game technique.

Because online and day game are the two most popular methods, those unbelievers disregard sex talk as a valid method due to this misconception. I will clarify: it is not just a night game-only technique. Sex talk was not meant initially for night game. Sex talk truly shines in settings that are not at night!

First, a brief history.

Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 3: Be Gone

Chase Amante's picture
Tao of Steve: Be GoneTo get a girl to chase you, you can’t chase her. Instead you have to be, well… gone. Here’s how to be gone, in line with the ever-cool Tao of Steve.

All right. It’s been some months coming, but here we are: the third and final installment in my Tao of Steve game analysis: be gone.

If you’re just tuning in, be sure to read Parts 1 and 2 here (without reading them, you’ll still get value from this post, but it’s not going to be the same without Desireless and Excellent in your pocket):

  1. Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 1: Be Desireless

  1. Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 2: Be Excellent

I reached out to Duncan North (the seducer whose game we are breaking down) to see if I could interview him for this third installment. He had a seduction blog he ran some years back, but abandoned a decade ago, so I didn’t expect he’d likely still be reachable but, still, worth trying… however it seems, in typical Steve fashion, he truly is gone.

Since there’s not much info on North’s actual tactics or strategy for the ‘gone’ part of the ToS triumvirate, I shall fill in the blanks myself.

Fortunately, “being gone” has long been a specialty of mine. There are few seducers better equipped to talk about the art of seducing through absence – which is part of what made me want to write this series in the first place.

So let’s have a look at seducing her… via not even being there (sometimes).

Tactics Tuesdays: Disarming "Critical Busybody" Cockblocks

Chase Amante's picture
busybody cockblockIf you’re talking to a girl when someone interjects with poor opinions on your flirtation, that’s a busybody cockblock – and you have to get rid of him.

Everybody’s a critic, amirite?

Over on the forum, a member reported an issue where he was flirting with a girl who was “way into him” when suddenly a person near to both of them interjected to announce that our member was “too old” to be flirting with the girl he was flirting with.

The forum member wasn’t sure what to do. His first idea was

Essentially, take ownership by saying I am flirting, and joking about being old and creepy like Craig Ferguson, or something?

No. No you definitely do not want to do that.

Craig Ferguson is definitely good at being chasey and creepy with women. But if you are painting yourself as “just a chasey, creepy guy, just like Craig Ferguson!” all that is doing is yielding the frame to the cockblock, empowering him to cockblock further, all while making yourself feel creepy, and creeping out the girl.

The last thing you want to do when someone tries to cockblock you is agree with the frame of your cockblocker and give that person encouragement to continue.

Instead, you need to take the frame away from this person – and obliterate his frame so hard he never tries to interfere with your seductions again.

How to Become a High Value Man (Real Life Example)

Alek Rolstad's picture
become a high value manA high-value man is not just a man who POSSESSES value – he is a man who GIVES value. Here’s how to become one, with a real life case study example.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today, I want to discuss a factor in social circles and night game. It’s a concept we’ve discussed before: giving value makes you high value. In other words, to become a high value man, you need to give, not take.

Givers are valued. It’s what makes them high value. It is as simple as that.

I will delve into details and provide some theoretical background for this concept. We’ll look at examples of how giving value got me at the top of Parisian nightlife. I will share some examples of how other high value men use these tricks, and hopefully, you will see how YOU can use this concept in field.

This concept has rarely been discussed practically in the past. Instead of discussing high value as a mindset or philosophy, we will talk about how it can be useful when you are out. And that is fine; it indeed is both. More importantly, high value is a social concept and a technique! And it is the latter I’ll emphasize in this post.

12 Easy Ways to Close Proximity with a Girl You Like

Chase Amante's picture
close proximity with a girl you likeCAPTION

On my article about teasing a move you’ll make on a girl before you actually make it, Proximus asked

Hey Chase,

Could you write an article on escalating proximity with a girl in all kinds of situations with examples etc?

Sure, I can do that.

Closing proximity with a girl is when you get yourself and a girl physically closer. This is more or less mandatory to your courtships because it lets you touch women more naturally. Since touch is vital to romance, you want as much proximity as you can get – while making it as natural (and non-overbearing) as can be.

(by the way, in case you DON’T think proximity with girls is important, here’s a study finding close proximity makes someone seem more interested and dominant, both of which are attractive to women in a courtship; here’s a study reporting when men got closer to women, women rated them more positively; here’s a study finding as opposite sex pairs get closer, attraction increases; and here’s a study that finds people with close proximity feel more tightly involved with each other. And that’s just for starters)

All that said, let’s jump into our 12 ways to get into close proximity with a girl you like!

Pussy-Centric Escalation

Chase Amante's picture
pussy-centric escalationWhen you escalate on a girl, it’s easy to focus on the wrong thing. What’s the right thing to focus on? The pussy. Focus on the pussy.

I was recently advising on a scenario where a guy ran into some tough last-minute resistance (LMR). He’d done everything right to get a girl into bed, and she seemed clearly into him, but he could not crack her resistance. She kept denying him sex and shutting down his escalation attempts.

It’s frustrating when this happens. Once you’re getting LMR, if it’s strong, it can be hard to beat.

So, let me tell you about a part of my approach to escalation to sex with women. It’s a vein that runs through all the content I’ve produced on sexual escalation, but I haven’t spelled it out exactly like this before.

I call it “pussy-centric escalation.”

New to Day Game? You NEED to Do Night Game or Social Circle Too!

Alek Rolstad's picture
day game social skillsMany day game novices make mistakenly focus JUST on day game… without raising their general social skills up too. This is a big no-no for day game success!

Hey guys.

This post is for struggling beginners.

I have written many posts defending nightgame. Online and day game has become the most popular forms of seduction lately. I understand why online game has become so widespread. It seems easy, and if you struggle with approach anxiety, sitting at home swiping left and right removes some of the scariness of seduction.

You may have this perception that if you swipe through massive numbers of hot girls, one will eventually like you, and getting a date will be a piece of cake, and it will be an easy deal moving forward. But we know it’s not quite that simple for most.

The problem is that dating apps primarily include men. Recently, I did an experiment on the Bumble dating app. I set my profile so that I was interested in both men and women.

Guess what happened? When I was ready to swipe, all I saw were guys, with a ratio of probably 90% men. It blew my mind! After a few hours, I had 53 likes. Next, I deselected that I was interested in men, and I only had three likes!

Those men are most likely bi or gay. They are a minority of men. And despite that, they made up 90% of my suggestions when I was about to swipe! So, imagine what it is like for straight guys, the majority. So finding women online is not ideal.

But what about day game? It’s a legitimate form of game. Yes, I’ve had my fair share of daygame outings. It offers many benefits, like allowing you to pick up girls without having many distractions. You don’t have to deal with the noise and the chaos so common in night game, also appealing.

You often interact one-on-one from the start—the meta in day game, going for single girls, not groups. It allows you to quickly build rapport and connect without distractions, with the intimacy of a one-on-one interaction, without interruptions from her friends. You won’t have to isolate your girl from her group, which can be probelmatic. And you don’t screw up your sleeping rhythm.

So, these are all good reasons, right? Just stick to day game.

Heroes, Seduction, and Damsels in Distress

Chase Amante's picture
hero seducerTo seduce a woman takes more than to say the right words. A man must rescue a woman from the ordinary, and provide something she can’t find elsewhere.

I’m reading the Edgar Rice Burroughs novels, pulp fiction from the turn of the 20th Century, right now. They are a blast to read. I haven’t read as much fiction the past several decades (used to read a lot in junior high and high school), and it’s fun to get into these books.

I completed the first three Princess of Mars books. If you’re not familiar with that series, it’s the one that inspired Star Wars (via Flash Gordon), Avatar, and Superman (and in that way all subsequent superheroes), among many others. John Carter from Burroughs’s Princess of Mars books is essentially the first superhero – a visitor to another world who can leap incredible distances there, has super strength, and can move with incredible speed – the same powers the creators of Superman gave him when he first appeared 21 years later (enhancing his powers much more later on).

Anyway, they’re all great books, fast-paced, and page turners.

And they all feature a ridiculously masculine, overpowered hero who repeatedly rescues an incomparably beautiful damsel in distress, who many other men wish to marry, but who loves only the hero. In the stories, the hero very quickly asks for the damsel’s hand in marriage; of course she has other suitors who’ve been pursuing her all the while too.

It almost seems quaint, the idea of meeting a woman, rescuing her, winning her that way, then immediately asking her for marriage. How different from the life of the modern dater – or even more so, the seducer!

But is it? I wondered!

Should You Tell Girls Stories You Made Up?

Chase Amante's picture
tell tall talesTell true stories or tell tall tales – which one should you choose? We talk about crafting fictional stories vs. sharing authentic ones with women you like.

On an article where I talked about having to write a report where I talked about what I learned reading a book by a Zulu witchdoctor for a high school essay, a reader asked if I was just making things up and says he used to do the same, thinking he had to “be like Chase, making things up” but it didn’t work with girls so he stopped:

Chase, I swear you're making up your backstories. you always have GC stories that go like this "When I was in high school, I had an assignment to write an essay about a foreign culture." Honestly, I really don't care. But I'd like to know if you "exaggerate" stories about your past like this when you talk to women? when I was a newb and reading GC, learning about storytelling here I made the mistake of thinking I had to make up stories like you. It never worked, now I just don't do it.

Every time I read a comment like this, I realize just how far apart some of the readers and I are (not saying you, fellow who is reading this right now… but, some are). It’s like we are in two different worlds, speaking mutually unintelligible languages, and the experience of life itself is for the both of us just diametrically different.

First off, the logic of our commenter here is… well I don’t think I could call this logic:

  1. Our reader assumes (presumably because he cannot relate to what I’m saying) that I must be making stuff up or exaggerating.

  1. He then assumes he should ALSO make stuff up or exaggerate (even though everything I can ever recall having written about stories states that your stories should be true! And I do not say to exaggerate!).

  1. It doesn’t work out when he makes stuff up and exaggerates, so he quits it.

  1. Then he wonders why if making stuff up and exaggerating doesn’t work Chase would be out there making stuff up or exaggerating.

So he ignores what I tell people to do, draws separate conclusions totally on his own, tests out his self-drawn conclusions, they fail, then he concludes I must be doing something wrong. Because when he ignored me and did his own thing it didn’t work.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me want to quit self-help altogether sometimes.

Second off… well I guess I should be flattered my stories strike people as incredible. It’s like being a character in one of those stories where the protagonist thinks the guy is telling a bunch of tall tales, only to find out it’s actually all true, and actually even wilder than the protagonist suspects due to all the other stuff he DOESN’T know.

(maybe I should start prefacing my stories the way early 20th Century sci-fi and weird tales fiction used to be prefaced… “This may strike you as rather unbelievable, and indeed, had it happened to anyone other than myself, I, too, would have dismissed it out-of-hand… but for the reader willing to entertain remarkable suggestions of blah blah blah”)

So… I could address the “how to properly learn” element of this. The core message would be: “Until you know what you are doing, don’t draw your own conclusions from the air then go test those out while mentally ascribing them to some instructor who never told you to do anything remotely like that. Instead just do what the guy says. Then once you are getting results, if you want to try wacky creative things, go try wacky creative things.”

But I feel like I’ve already done that article… oh about a half dozen times already.

On the other hand, there’s an interesting question in here (aside from the one about my credibility): should you ever make up stories to tell women, and if so, when and why?