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Extended Seductions: More Tricks to Make These Great

Alek Rolstad's picture
extended seductionMore tips to make it easier to extend a seduction across weeks or more. How do you wind her up? How do you avoid her cooling off? When DO you make that move?

Hey guys.

Previously, I discussed extended seduction concepts, like creating anti-logistics. This is crucial because extended seductions are quite risky: she may lose interest if she fails to perceive you as a lover if you don’t escalate to sex when you have the chance to do so logistically, and she is ready for it. She will think you are a wimp and afraid to be sexual and may not see you as a sexual guy. Welcome to the friend zone.

To avoid this, I suggested you use anti-logistics: deliberately creating a setting where you both cannot have sex. This gives you plausible deniability for not escalating to sex: it isn’t her fault or your fault that you are not escalating. It is not because you are a wimp, but because the situation doesn’t allow for it.

The result? You generate more sexual tension. She wants you, but you become forbidden fruit due to the logistics. You are “teasing” her desire which will grow over time. This strategy only works if she is sexually interested in you.

With this strategy, you extend the seduction on your terms, not hers. It’s because you want it or made it that way due to your strategic choice. (See my post about whether you should seal the deal now or later, posted not long ago.) This is not how most men do extended seductions: they do them on her terms because she resisted their attempt at escalation, or she induced this odd feeling of fear, making men play overly safe. What happens here? They create more risk by opting for an extended seduction.

Friend zoning usually occurs because of failed extended seductions. Beginners often go for extended seductions, but these are more advanced than quick pulls. They usually opt for them to play it safe: wrong move.

Extended seductions are more difficult, and more suited for advanced players.

Before I begin, I need to repeat that the concept of extended seduction was invented (or at least popularized) by a veteran seducer named Pureevil. He inspired the system I am about to discuss, and all credit goes to him. If you are curious about his material, check out this thread by veteran seducer Skills on our forum SkilledSeducer. He’s reposted Pureevil’s classic posts on the subject.

Now that the recap is out of the way, I would like to expand upon my previous post. I’ll go over a few more tips and tricks to make extended seductions more successful.

What to Do When a Girl Starts Qualifying Herself

Chase Amante's picture
girl qualifying herselfA girl starts to qualify herself to you. What do you do? There are many mistakes guys make when women do this – you won’t want to make those. You WILL want to reward her.

Something I have seen a lot of beginner guys and even many intermediates get wrong is handling things when a girl starts to qualify herself.

There are many ways women will qualify themselves, but one of the ways a woman might do it is to excitedly tell you about an interest or quality of hers she thinks might interest you.

For example, she finds out that you travel and she starts talking about how she really loves travel, then spools off a list of places she's been to. Or she tells you she hasn't traveled much but she thinks travel is so interesting and tells you some place she really wants to go to.

A lot of beginners will treat this like "okay, she is trying to build commonalities with me; I should vibe with her on that."

There is some element of that in there, but what she is really doing here is qualifying herself.

And when a woman qualifies herself, you have to reward.

Pleasant People Get Pleasant Treatment

Chase Amante's picture
pleasant peopleWant the people around you to treat you better? Here’s a very simple solution for that: treat THEM better, first. Pleasant people get pleasant treatment.

I have observed over the past decade an explosion in argumentative, disagreeable, rude people.

There are people who are simply hot-tempered and combative by nature. That's not what I'm referring to here.

I am referring to an overall rise in ill-mannered, self-centered, socially stunted behavior. It is not just in young people, but in all people. I assume it is due to people spending more and more time on screens, plus the increasing divisions of society, in part due to those screens, and less and less time honing and practicing their social skills with real people.

At the same time that people behave bristly toward those they interact with, they complain about the bristled treatment they receive from others.

Today I want to address this trend, and throw a recommendation in there for you:

Be more pleasant.

Extended Seductions: Seducing a Woman Over Weeks (or Longer)

Alek Rolstad's picture
extended seductionSex can happen fast. Yet if you prefer to draw things out, to heighten anticipation, and enjoy the seduction more, you can – so long as you’re the one in control.

Hey guys. In my two previous posts, I discussed whether you should seal the deal now or wait for later, opting for an “extended seduction.”

In the first post, I discussed if you should get her number rather than go for the kill right there. My conclusion is that it is always best to go for the pull if logistics allow. It’s a call beginners and advanced guys alike have to make often.

In the second post, I went over whether you should escalate to sex or opt for another date. This decision is trickier and is best made by advanced guys since the pitfalls of missing an escalation window when she is ready (an opportunity to escalate to sex) may ruin a future chance of having sex with her.

There will always be a higher probability of sealing the deal when going for the instant close. Overall, it is the better strategy. Generally, it is a better call, although going for the extended seduction is favorable in some situations.

The issue is that knowing when those situations occur can be hard to discern and, if misjudged, could cost you the interaction. It’s why I suggest that beginners do not opt for the “extended seduction” strategy.

I’ll be re-emphasizing this today. As you will see, it may seem easy to pull off an extended seduction, but in practice, it is tricky.

  • The longer the seduction, the more material and knowledge you need to keep her excited and hooked.

  • The longer the seduction, the more opportunities to make mistakes. It’s not an ideal strategy for beginners who may be prone to errors. Intermediate guys may make fewer mistakes; however, the longer the interaction goes, the higher the chance they get nervous and impatient, thus the higher the chance of miscalibrating and making mistakes.

  • The more time passes, the higher the chance of wildcards occurring. Factors you did not anticipate often come up and can potentially ruin the seduction. For example, she may get sick between dates, run into an ex, or something stressful comes up at work. Anything can happen. It requires good wildcard management and a great overall game to survive the damage the wildcard causes. (Note that I wrote an important piece on wildcards a while back.)

So you can see why an extended seduction is not easy. I will try to make it easier by providing hints and tips to make it work.

This post is my take on Pureevil’s original concept behind extended seductions. In my opinion, he was the founding father of extended seduction, and most techniques here should be credited to him. Pureevil was a top-tier seducer who had the guts to write posts on this subject when the trend was fast pulls. (A trend I was part of; I was very involved in that school of thought.)

Check out Pureevil’s original posts reposted by veteran seducer Skills.

First, let’s discuss why you would consider going for extended seductions.

10 Things to Forbid Your Committed GF or Wife from Doing

Chase Amante's picture
forbid your girlfriend or wifeHealthy relationships have boundaries. But what should you forbid a serious girlfriend (or your wife) from? The answer’s not “nothing”; in fact, it’s 10 things.

Let's get a little old fashioned!

That's the thing, right? Serious relationships that aren't whimsical temporary egalitarian restriction-free pairings are old "old fashioned", aren't they?

I joke, but that does seem to be a popular position.

Why that is is a matter for another article. This article will be focused on what to forbid a serious girlfriend or wife from doing if you have one.

This article is in response to commenter Anish, remarking on my article "Should Men Have Open Relationships?", where he says:

Hey Chase, you have never written an article on how to stop girlfriends from hanging out with male friends!! At least you should write one on what kind of boundaries you should set up and how!!

Boundaries. Rules. Forbidden activities and proclivities.

That'll be our topic for today.

Put succinctly: what is your committed girlfriend or wife NOT to do?

Before we list forbidden items, though, first we must define what relationships these strictures apply to, and why we have them in the first place.

Tactics Tuesdays: Converting Cautious High Count Girls

Chase Amante's picture
converting cautious high count girlsCertain girls you’ll bed, do it all right with, yet not see again. Why? Some of them are “cautious high count” girls. But there’s a way to lay them once more…

This is a fairly niche article, targeted at advanced seducers, but it'll answer some questions for you if you're a high volume playboy who gets a bunch of lays off night game or dating apps.

There's a certain breed of woman who likes to party and hook up with new men, yet retains a high degree of skepticism toward non-safe men when it comes to entering relationships.

We'll call this girl the 'cautious high count girl'.

She is your stereotypical "hook up with the bad boy but date the good guy" girl. She craves stimulation, but dislikes being around a guy long-term she doubts she can command exclusivity from. She's a stimulus-seeking gal who nevertheless desires devotion from those she sees regularly.

You'll get one-night stands with these girls, off of either night game or dating apps.

Everything will seem to go great; she has a lot of fun, and you find the girl exciting and hope to see her again.

Only, she won't see you again.

Nothing is 'wrong'; she doesn't have any sex regret after being with you, nor was she stupidly drunk and just 'made a mistake' or anything like that.

She's just the total opposite of the girl with a small dating pool, is all.

If you do manage to get her out, she voices repeated resistance to anything that remotely seems like "starting a relationship" with you -- it's not that she's against relationships in principle; only against relationships with you.

How do you convert a gal like this?

By stepping outside the usual boxes she puts men in.

When Should You Seal the Deal with a Girl?

Alek Rolstad's picture
seal the deal with a girlShe’s into you. Should you seal the deal with this girl now… or put it off to later? Now, usually. Yet while nothing’s promised, sometimes it may pay to delay.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Previously, we discussed whether one should go for a same day or night pull or go for her number and set a date later. If you want a detailed answer, check out my previous post.

Today I will discuss a similar subject: whether one should try to escalate to intimacy or back down and focus on the next date.

A typical example: the logistics are better than the example in the previous post; she is at your place. Should you go for the kill or take it chill and extend the seduction to another meeting?

Making the right call will depend on your field experience, gut feeling, and your evaluation of variables to assess the situation.

The only way to develop that gut feeling is through practice, trial and error, and learning from your failures. There is no other way around it.

Hopefully, this post will clarify a few things.

First, I want to recap the pitfalls of arousal and how they link to female state control (FSC) and anti-slut defense (ASD). If you are familiar with those, you can skip the next section. However, a refresh is always a good idea.

Unlike my previous posts suited for seducers of all levels, this post is ideal for advanced players. However, there’s no harm to beginners and intermediate guys reading this. Making the right call is difficult, so I recommend that beginners try to seal the deal when the logistics allow for it, even if they fail, since failure, although frustrating, may teach a lot. Beginners are more likely to misjudge, opt for the safe route, and not escalate, which statistically may give fewer results.

How to Be the Best Guy a Girl's Ever Dated

Chase Amante's picture
TEXTIf you want to be the best guy a girl has ever dated, you need more than “hope.” Instead, follow these 8 recommendations – yet watch out for “alpha widows.”

Commenting on my article about the Feminine Interest Spectrum, reader Fanfun asks:

[What] could we do if [a girl] already has many experiences connected to a guy to make us love more or / and forget others?

What he's talking about of course is how to be the best guy a girl's ever dated.

Most hardened playboys might chuckle sensibly at a question like this, but we allll care about it.

Sure, some of us are more confident in our ability to enter a new girl's life and immediately be the best guy she's ever dated... but if we found out we weren't, well, it would sure throw us for a loop.

No one wants to be second-best with someone of great personal importance to him. We all want to be the best.

It's not just about ego, either. It's a practical thing.

If there's some guy out there she likes better than you, she is never really going to be all the way 'both feet into the relationship'.

Girls care about this as much as guys do. I can't tell you how some of my girlfriends have drilled me on past girlfriends, trying to find out if I cared about those girls more than I care about the ones doing the drilling.

This is a human thing: if we're with someone, we'd much prefer to be #1 in that person's heart than we would #2, #3, or some other lower rank.

In this article, we'll talk about how to be that.

Yet before we do, first we need to talk about whether it's worth trying to be that with this particular girl.

Tactics Tuesdays: Making Venue Transitions Fun

Chase Amante's picture
venue transitionsLeading a woman you like from one venue to another, or back to your place, can be risky. Her mood might change; wildcards can emerge. What must you do? Keep it fun.

Venue transitions are some of the most fraught moments in any seduction.

The time from when you leave one venue and are en route to another introduces a lot of variability -- and hence, many potential wildcards -- into what might have been to that point a smooth, steady, by-the-book seduction.

Every experienced guy has multiple stories of girls he had on-lock whom he then lost due to some dumb or ridiculous event outside his control during the transition.

It was all fine until he tried to get her out of there, then things went off the rails between spots.

There are, however, things you can do to keep the vibe as light and fun as possible during transitions.

This doesn't just make the transition more enjoyable. It also makes the transition less fragile.

Think of the transition as a bridge from one stage of the seduction to another.

You don't want to drive your car across a shaky bridge with loose wooden planks, do you?

Far better to drive across a solid brick-and-masonry construction that is guaranteed to get you safely across.

That's what a good transition is: a solid bridge from one stage to the next.

And 'fun' is the brick and masonry that makes transitions solid.

12 Mistakes that SCREW UP Conversations & Flirtations

Chase Amante's picture
conversation mistakesSome mistakes really doom a conversation. Make any of these too early on, and your impression will be toast – along with the conversation.

A while back a reader named Xander, talking about some of his flirtations, asked about mistakes people make in early conversation that spell the end of those conversations:

I have seen that if girl is attracted to guy every mistake he makes is forgiven to him and if she isn’t she will intentionally look for things she dislike and reasons to behave bad. [...] Many times, I was in situation that girl from the beginning starts to look for reasons to be annoyed. [...] Some examples: I would disagree about some irrelevant topic during conversation and girl would be really pissed off and even start to shake from anger. They would ask me for my age and if difference is higher then few years they would criticize me about too different for them, etc.

There is an element of that that is true; if someone simply doesn't like you, it will be a lot easier for you to trigger a negative reaction with that person than it would be if you were liked.

Why is that? Well, we tend to give the people we like the benefit of the doubt. If someone you like makes an error, you arrive at the most charitable assumption as to why.

When someone you dislike makes an error, however, you're a lot more likely to assume ugly reasons or motivations for it, or that you and this person just aren't compatible.

This is true even for very fair-minded individuals (and even more so for the hot-tempered among us!).

This article won't be completely focused on 'liking', but if you follow the steps in it you'll be more liked, too.

Our chief focus today is on mistakes that damage conversations with other people -- in particular, those mistakes you make early on, when that first impression is still subject to change.

We'll cover two types of conversation mistakes below:

  1. General mistakes that apply to all the conversations you'll have with anyone

  1. Flirtation mistakes that apply to your romantic conversations with prospective paramours

On with it!