Articles by Author: Varoon Rajah | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Varoon Rajah

Our Burden as Men to Be Strong

burden as men to be strong
We typically advise against men opening up about their weaknesses to women they date. But won’t showing a little insecurity strengthen a relationship? No, and here’s why.

As a follow up to my article on the right and wrong ways to be vulnerable, a reader was curious why it’s important not to be vulnerable about certain things in your own life when dealing with women.

The anonymous reader commented on vulnerability below:

“So the thesis of the article is that it’s best not to be vulnerable unless it’s occasional and share something that you can easily attribute to something external? I wouldn’t be able to talk about what a struggle my adolescent life is because of depression? Or how my Asian parents did a poor job raising me, and it led to me having low self-esteem? We really can’t share our past traumas under any circumstance without losing our women? We have to pretend like everything is okay, and we never had any struggle in our lives past or current even if that’s not the case? What if you just make it seem like it was in the past, but you’re a different man now, and the only reason you’re actually telling her is because it feels good to share it with someone else instead of keeping it bottled in? I feel like men constantly have to do a lot of posturing just for the sake of attracting and keeping women interested in them whereas women don’t really have that concern.”

On the boards the other day, I read two similar comments about how unfair and inferior it is to be a male in today’s society.

The first comment:

“Women date up. Men date down. Men have to fear that their penis doesn’t [measure] up. Women can be relatively skinny and have unlimited abundance with[out] having to work for it. Men have to work to be providers. Women have so many options that they can choose and compare between looks, social status, wealth, dick size, confidence, and alpha male [status]. Women only seem to compete for looks, sometimes status, and only provide pussy. Being feminine does not seem to add any additional value to our lives. Yet we have to compete on various levels of value just to be good enough. Social media and Tinder has made 5/10s with unlimited abundance.”

HOW IS THIS FAIR?

And the second comment:

“Men are expected to give women pleasure, strength, attention, validation, and security to prevent them from cheating, etc. Yet, women basically give nothing in return besides pussy. That is what bothers me the most. Not only do women reap more rewards in the sexual marketplace, they don’t even have to try as much.”

Is this really how it works?

In this article, I want to dive in further and discuss what this means. I’ll clarify and expand on my response to the comments about the article.

COVID-19 – The End of Dating as We Know It, Part 2

dating after COVID-19
Mass unemployment has led to a rise in sugar dating. And if you can’t pay for sex, past lovers offer relief for guys unable to work their normal game in a pandemic.

Part 1 of this series explored how dating might change after the pandemic. While it is speculative (note: I want to be very clear, this is all speculation), I think there are important recent trends that indicate where society is heading, and how dating will evolve.

To be clear, there will not be a fundamental shift in how attraction and mating works. Game is game, what’s attractive will remain attractive, and what men and women want will stay the same. Women still want great lovers, great sex, great experiences, and great boyfriends. Don’t think that somehow because of the present lull, the mechanics of dating and courtship will never be the same again.

In many ways, I think dating will be the same, but some major trends could influence your opportunities and strategies to meet and date women.

Here’s what we covered in Part 1:

  • The disappearance of office space, and the rise of the work from home culture. Fewer people are commuting, with more on-the-go, flexible schedules, flexible travel, and home-away setups.

  • Potential depopulation, more affordable cities.

  • The decline of business travel.

  • Increasing reliance on online dating. If it’s not your primary method of meeting women in the good times, at minimum, have a functional online dating profile during the bad times.

Now let's cover the impact of COVID-19 and technology on dating. We’ll start with an interesting growing trend in the market: the rise of sugar baby game and sugar dating.

COVID-19 – The End of Dating as We Know It, Part 1

dating after COVID-19
COVID-19 has already shown us a glimpse into an odd future: the rise of the home office and social distancing, etc. How will these shifts impact dating in the long term?

This article is purely speculative. We might look back on this in two or three years and laugh at some of these predictions, or some other Girls Chase authors will flame me. But when The Jetsons came out, we laughed at some of the predictions they imagined that are now commonplace. To get your critical brain thinking a bit, let’s look at some impacts of COVID-19.

Some pundits, news reporters, media outlets, and sources of influence are labeling COVID-19 as a quick, passing moment in time, after which everything returns to normal once a vaccine is developed. Others predict permanent social distancing measures, indefinite isolation, and a host of other lasting changes to our society.

I’m not this extreme on either end, but I think this moment in history is starting the path of some significant long-term shifts. In some ways, it’s too soon to predict exactly what will happen next, but there are some indicators we can accurately assess to draw some conclusions. I think it’s bound to affect how some parts of dating will work for the next decade or so.

Fundamentally, women never will change, and game will always be game. So, let’s speculate on the ways you may be meeting girls in the future.

Poor Man's Game or Wealthy Lifestyle Game – Which Is for You?

lifestyle seduction game
Broke lifestyle game is better for getting fast sex, but wealth gives you more options. So, if you have options, which style of game should you run with?

In my last few articles, we covered two very different associations between a guy’s lifestyle and socioeconomic class, and how they affect his success with women.

The first covered poor/broke game, one of the most powerful and quixotic forms of game, used for ages by artists, musicians, bartenders, travelers, nomads, creatives, and adventurers. Poor/broke game is not to be confused with game by deadbeat men — poor/broke game requires fundamentals and attractive behavior.

In a two-part series, we covered wealthy lifestyle game, which is the inverse method. This game style relies on wealth and a clear focus on your mission to draw in women with a vibe of a potential alpha provider. Wealthy lifestyle game is equally powerful to poor/broke game, but it takes a much more effort to maintain, yet nets you access to girls you wouldn’t otherwise get as a broke guy.

If you'd like to check those articles out, here they are:

As you’ve probably figured out in reading those descriptions and articles, going down either path is a long-term choice. Each method requires a distinct lifestyle, vibe, learning curve, and congruence that must fit together. It’s not easy or quick to switch between the two. If this doesn’t make sense, I will explain it shortly.

In this article, we will explore some pros and cons of each game style. I discussed these independently in previous articles, but side-by-side, we will see that one system’s weakness is often the other’s strength. I hope viewing both together will help guide you to which style to pursue!

Wealthy Lifestyle Game: How to Get Laid when You Have Money, Pt. 2

how to get laid when you have money
As a wealthy guy, it’s harder to get fast sex with women because they peg you as a provider rather than a lover. Combat this by disqualifying yourself as a provider!

Welcome to Part 2 of the Art of Wealthy Lifestyle Game! We continue to explore why wealthy lifestyle game can net you some killer results with women, sometimes more than poor/broke game!

In Part 1, we covered these key concepts:

  • Power in authority makes men attractive to women
  • Wealthy lifestylers should raise their standards to benefit from game
  • Flaunt your wealth
  • Host cool events and build your social circle

These ideas are foundational concepts as to why wealthy lifestyle game can work. As you can probably tell, this game style is a little more niche. When thinking about raising your standards, your high-end lifestyle could alienate you from many lower-class women. They may see you as so high value that you’re unattainable (like your Ferrari to their Toyota).

But then, to other women, you’re simply a potential provider. Plenty of women get educations, great careers, and high-paying jobs, plus the lifestyle and high fashion to boot, in the hopes of meeting a guy with this status to lock him down.

As we know well (believe me, I know this ALL TOO well), girls will make you wait, and won’t give in to sex easily when they’ve met their prize. Indeed, once discovered, the wealthy lifestyler is a major prize for many women.

As I said long ago, where poor/broke game excels is in the ability for such guys to be a lover right off the bat and throughout the process. It’s congruent with the lover profile, and girls love the idea of throwaway sex when they’re horny! On the flip side, wealthy lifestylers run a high risk of being slotted into the potential provider category. This can slow them down or make things nearly impossible with girls.

So let's focus on ways to combat the provider frame and find success, despite this restriction.

Wealthy Lifestyle Game: How to Get Laid when You Have Money, Pt. 1

how to get laid when you have money
My previous article was about getting laid while broke. Now let’s talk about the other end of the spectrum – wealthy lifestyle game – and how to make the best of it.

In my last article, we covered a popular topic on the Girls Chase boards about the art of poor and broke man game.

This popular style of game is immensely successful and powerful. It involves influencing a girl with your vibe and attractive behavior, regardless of how successful you are in life. A major benefit is that you start directly at the lover category in the girl’s eyes as you move forward by providing good emotions and elicit sexual feelings to progress sexually.

Most "ladies men" tend to fall into the poor/broke category. Others include bartenders, artists, musicians, adventurers, tour guides, and frat boys. And as I mentioned, poor/broke game is not to be confused with deadbeats, who instead repel women no matter how hard they try.

Now let’s talk about the counterpart to poor/broke game: the wealthy lifestyle game. Some guys dream about this category. At the end of the wealthy spectrum, we have the Dan Bilzerians, Elon Musks, NBA basketball players, and sports legends, plus many seducers and coaches in the commercial dating arena who are wealthy and successful business owners.

You don’t need to be famous and super-wealthy to benefit from this kind of game style. Guys should be more concerned with the pitfalls of dating outside the poor/broke game. Wealthy guys who don’t quickly establish themselves firmly as a lover, and are remotely attractive and cool, start to become potential providers to women, which will potentially slow down or stall courtship.

It can get tough when you’re a decently successful and good-looking guy with a stable income, nice belongings, a good job, a great place, cool friends, a car — you get the point. This type of guy is distinctly average and nothing special. Even though he’s financially better off than the poor/broke guy, he may lack the sex appeal of the average Joe.

Wealthy lifestyle game is a nuanced way of structuring your “average” middle-class life to net the most returns with women, by elevating yourself in wealth and value. I believe that this style of game and the steps below become more potent when you combine them with actual financial success. The following tips can explode in effectiveness with more money in the mix.

This doesn’t mean that with money, you can forget about attractive behavior!

Poor Man's Game – Can Guys Without Money Get Women?

dating without money
Fact: women will sleep with poor guys faster than wealthy dudes. In this article, I explain why that is and the vital differences between poor guys and deadbeats.

The Cheap vs. Poor article I wrote a few weeks ago generated some ideas for me as well as for some members of the Girls Chase forum. In that article, I explained the differences between "cheap" behavior and just being poor. I think it’s also valuable to talk about poor game and getting laid without money.

I want to give credit to some of the posters on the forum. They’ve inspired me, providing much of the meat for this post, and the article to follow on gaming with money.

Let me first point out that, in this article, we're only considering sex with non-prostitutes (a rich guy can obviously buy pussy whenever his junk twitches). No, we're talking about getting laid through the art of pickup and seduction, not money-for-sex situations.

If you were to take a sample of a few game-oriented guys, seducers, and naturals, it’s the poor guys who get laid the most and in the shortest time frames.

That may seem counterintuitive to you if you're new around here, but it is so much easier to get laid without money than with money; some say it’s not even comparable. Good news for you poor guys if you're only finding this out now!

As forum member "YS" has pointed out:

“When you're just a free-spirit lover retard running around, everything is so congruent. When you're wearing a three-piece suit, running companies, blowing off fires all day, it’s really hard to just be free and flirty with random college girls (or any woman for that matter).”

I think this is true, which is why we wonder about the types of guys some women end up with. We see hot girls with dudes who look like losers on the surface, but these same guys give her the good feelings (and good sex) she craves.

In general, none of the world’s wealthiest guys are getting laid remotely as well as the carefree, cool pothead on your street, the party-going surfer dude, the starving artist/musician, or your free-spirited traveler nomading in some far corner of the world.

Some guys can’t believe this. They think that broke guys cannot have girlfriends, that you need money after a certain age, that women of a certain caliber don’t date poor men. While that may be true for much of the population, it’s not true for the ladies’ man, for the guys who know how to get laid consistently. There are a few notable examples within the PUA community (for instance, Mystery did not have much money, yet was often with “10” quality strippers, and had relationships with them).

Learning Seduction: 7 Words of Wisdom for the Slow Mechanical Learner

learn pickup seduction
Do you feel like learning seduction is taking too long and failure comes too often? You might be a mechanical learner like me. If so, here’s what you should know.

The learning curve with women, pickup, and seduction isn’t smooth for every guy.

Some start learning, have a few wins, then quit forever once they’ve found a good (or good enough) girl. Others start early in life and get good quickly with concentrated effort. Others start later and also get good fast.

Still others are naturals who have some experience when they begin learning game methods. There are even those who are so fascinated with game that they dissect it thoroughly, immerse themselves, and even surpass their woman goals!

This article is geared for the mechanical learner that Chase talks about in his article on the Three Sorts of Lady Killers. The mechanical learner is defined as a slow but deliberate learner. He’s the guy who puts forth a constant effort and succeeds when he doesn’t quit, facing mountains of failures, rejections, and setbacks to his methods before he finally figures it out, moving on to his next sticking point.

You might see this person make 1,000 approaches and only succeed with 1, yet he’ll keep going. Maybe three years later, you’ll see him as a master in his approaches, but now he’s stuck at the texting phase, and trying to get girls out on dates. A few years later, he’ll have mastered that, and now he repeatedly fails at escalation and last-minute resistance (LMR) at home.

The mechanic is quite rare, but that doesn't mean his methodology is inferior. He continually makes mistakes at the beginning of learning any skill, and by sheer practice and willpower, working through failures, he perfects his style. He uses his previous failures as models for facilitating success in the new model.

Many will not relate to this article. I want to be clear that in no way is this system any kind of limiting belief. It’s simply a different process of learning. If you’re this type of person, you will quickly realize as you’re reading the archetypes that this is you. And if you’re not this person, it’s unlikely you’ll relate.

A Little Vulnerability Is Okay, but How Much Should You Reveal?

how to show vulnerability
Insecurity and vulnerability are not the same thing. Women run from insecurity but find a little vulnerability endearing. So how much should you show her?

As I discussed in my last article, anxiety is very bad for your endeavors with women. End of story!

Unfortunately, women perceive anxiety as a weakness, and often revealing the anxiety to women can cause them to lose all attraction for you. Now the key here is in revealing anxiety. Everyone feels anxious once in a while, some more than others. Sometimes anxiety is genetic, and it’s within a person’s persona to feel anxious periodically.

However, just because you feel anxiety doesn’t mean you have to reveal it to anyone. More importantly, even when women see you’re feeling anxious, it doesn’t mean you have to reveal the true source of your anxiety to them!

Notice I said when. Women are naturally super sensitive to a guy’s vibe; by instinct, women are fully sensitive to human vibes. Think of the bond and senses women have to take care of and raise babies, even before the age of technology, farming, and civilization. It’s important to note that women can transmute another human’s emotions. You can transfer a sexual state from yourself to a woman if you let her feel allowed and if she actively follows your lead and dominance!

If you feel anxiety in the presence of a woman, she’s going to feel it. If you’re prone to frequent anxiety, you’ll inevitably feel anxiety at some point with a woman. For some guys, it’s feeling anxious on the approach, and this can mess up their approach vibe every time! Some get nervous about the first date. And for other guys, it can be about what to do with her when they get her home. For the longest time, I struggled with last-minute resistance and got anxious in the moment right before sex.

No matter what, if you feel anxiety, you can bet that she’ll feel it, too.

The good news is that you can change the source of anxiety over time. What makes you anxious can go away with concerted effort and practice by putting yourself in front of the anxiety-inducing situation and succeeding over and over. This is sure to change your body’s perception of what was previously a threat. And I can attest that it works. Unlike before, these days, I get super excited and horny when I have a girl at home.

In the meantime, you need to figure out how to be vulnerable in the right way when your anxiety comes up.

Do You Feel Anxious Around Women? Don’t Let Them See It

anxiety is a turn-off
Women are attracted to confidence, and anxiety is the opposite of confidence. So if women don’t find anxiety sexy, but it’s a normal feeling, what can we do about it?

Having recently lost a lover because of anxious thoughts, I figured it would be useful to cover how to address anxiety with women and dating.

While anxiety is a normal human emotion, some people feel it more than others. It’s a terrible weakness to display around a woman and is the opposite emotion from a “turn-on” and sexual excitement.

Think back to your most memorable sexual experiences, if you’ve had some. Was anxiety present? Would anxiety have helped the experience? If yes, did the anxiety make the situation better?

Most likely, your best experiences around women involve no anxiety at all. But if you’ve had experiences that did include anxiety, and I’ve had many, I can attest that these moments become question marks in women’s eyes.

Anxiety, especially if it shows up at critical moments like the first kiss or the first escalation, can ruin your chances to get a woman and keep seeing her.

Men will often experience anxiety and nervousness in critical moments during a seduction:

On the journey of getting better with women, men must train themselves to never feel anxiety around women, particularly in the critical moments mentioned above. As a rule, it’s best to avoid showing any anxiety around a woman you want to be sexual with.