Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

How to Use Situationally Relevant Openers with Women

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By: Chase Amante

“I wonder if that mural is trying to tell us something,” you say to the woman nearby to you while waiting for the train, and she looks at the painting – an image of a thief being beaten by a woman with a handbag – and laughs.

“I think it’s saying, ‘Don’t rob people,’” she responds.

“Good advice,” you say. “Where you headed?”

situational opener

Situationally relevant openers are versatile, simply because they are among the most innocuous openers out there, which makes them perfect for ambiguous situations where you don’t want to convey your interest too strongly. They’re simple enough to get down – just talk about something interesting or relevant in the environment – but there’s some nuance to them, and if you learn it, you have yet another powerful tool in your toolbox for starting conversations with pretty new girls.

Why Her Past Matters If You Want Something Serious

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By: Chase Amante

Back in late 2006 and early 2007, I was on an invitation-only social networking site called Late Night Shots. It was a site that allowed those on the Washington, D.C. social scene to “see and be seen” by others – set up profiles, find out where everyone was gathering at, and the like. Sort of a private Facebook for the D.C. socialite crowd.

One of the more interesting features of LNS then was an anonymous message board where people could ask all sorts of dicey questions and give all manner of unbiased, unfiltered replies, since their answers were in no way tied to their profiles or real world identities.

I wasn’t terribly interested in the gossip section of those boards (”Who’s dating whom in the scene?” “What new girl has rocketed to the top of the scene the fastest?”), although it did make for good occasional reading on how different people evaluated social status competitors in the scene (and worked to build up their and others’ reputations, or tear others down through rumors). What interested me more were the various relationship topics that got posed and debated to death.

One of the most frequent of these was the question of “Do women’s pasts matter?”

woman's past

While nearly all of the female commenters seemed to argue quite vehemently that they didn’t matter one bit, the male commenters were divided right down the middle in their positions: half that they did, half that they didn’t.

Among the half arguing that they didn’t, there was a further divide: the men who didn’t care about women’s pasts because they had no intention of ever ending up in any form of committed long-term relationship... and the men who didn’t care because they legitimately thought a woman’s past had no bearing on her future.

I’d argue that the past matters even in a fling, hookup, or a casual or open relationship... simply because crazy girls can wreck your life in all kinds of terrible ways even when you’re keeping things arms-length with them, and a one-night stand with the wrong kind of girl can quickly turn down Bad News Lane if she fixates on you or brings other bad stuff into your sphere. But what about commitment? How much a woman’s past matter if you want something serious?

There's Always Another Man in Her Life

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By: Chase Amante

another man in her lifeAt the start of the new year, there was a thread on the boards with suggestions for new articles this year. Zac suggested one on the tendency of women to always have men in their lives... and that this should never be an obstacle for you when meeting new women.

It’s a curious thing for me to think about. This concept is one I spend zero thought cycles on myself, and it always strikes me as a little odd and funny when I see men talking about it now... mostly guys on the boards talking about their concerns about approaching: but what if she has a boyfriend?

Not just boyfriend, though; but what about that guy she’s talking to? Or, yeah, I see her by herself right now – but what if there’s someone else nearby? What if she has a lover and I don’t know it?

The fact is, EVERY woman you meet is going to have SOME guy in her life, in SOME capacity. There is some man who is important to her who is “limiting” her choices in men in some way.

The thing about approaching though is this: you’ve got to learn to disregard these men as abstractions and approach away, anyway.

Your Sexual Market Value: Who's Afraid of Desperate Men?

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By: Chase Amante

sexual market value340Breeze poses an intriguing “What if?” scenario over on the article about astrology:

“An interesting question is how do you think women would behave in general toward men (in terms of their attitude, expectations, submissiveness, physical attributes (caring about being fat vs slim), etc) if the vast majority of available men were completely unwilling to trade (access to resources, money, etc )for hopes of sex? I know this is unrealistic since clearly women have choice in men because: (1) men are the agressive sex meaning women have lots of suitors just by being a woman; and (2) men seem to want women’s vjs more than women want what men have to offer.”

I think this one’s worth addressing because I see a lot of frustration from guys on various corners of the Internet about desperate men trading their time and energy to women in exchange for the hope of a chance to maybe possibly someday if they’re lucky have a shot at entering said women’s vaginas.

The talk is that these desperate men make it harder for everyone else to get laid, and/or that women are becoming overly entitled as a result of it.

And to some extent... there’s a nugget of truth in there, yeah.

But to a larger extent, this is looking at the problem all wrong, with blinders on to the real setup – and the real solution.

How to Use Astrology with Girls

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By: Chase Amante

In the comments section of the 2013 “Year in Review” article, Nate asks:

“Chase,

This is a bit random, but can you do a post on astrology? Lately i’ve been fascinated by how accurate zodiac signs can be and the possibility of it showing how compatible you are with certain personality types. Obviously there’s gonna be some exceptions, but from what I’ve noticed they are often dead on. It would be interesting to see how well they correlate or if they just create some weird prejudices.

I’ve seen you mention it in a few of your posts and just wanted to see your take on it.

Nate”

astrology girls

Yes – astrology. Something almost everyone has a strong opinion about one way or another; it’s wonderful, or it’s rubbish.

Yet, however you feel about astrology, it is a fascinating little subject in-and-of itself... and it’s one that’s pretty darn fascinating to most of the women you’ll meet, too.

The Parting Shot

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By: Chase Amante

Something I see guys doing that always makes me want to hold up my hands and go, “Wait! Too extreme!” is getting miffed and walking away from women without giving them a properly put-together parting shot.

I was guilty of it for a long time, and when you’re still being emotionally affected by the women you’re meeting (i.e., before it’s become more or less pure process with little emotional involvement), it’s pretty easy to fall into this trap.

That is, the trap of realizing that things aren’t going your way with a given girl, getting upset, and storming off out of the interaction with a spiteful “Huh. She’ll realize what she’s lost when I’m gone!” attitude.

parting shot

Ever do this? I bet you have, and if you’re like most men I bet you sometimes still do.

Thing is, how often do those girls you abruptly cut contact with like this ever get back in touch with you and turn things around? Never, right? Occasionally they may reconnect with you, but ever notice how they treat you rather patronizingly in those cases? They know they’ve gotten to you.

At best, all you ever get out of ending things with girls this way is a psychic victory... you get to think to yourself that you “won” because you walked off and left her hanging.

But you didn’t win, not really. You didn’t get the girl.

There is a way you can though – not all the time, but a whole lot more often than you will with the “get irked and storm off” approach, in any event.

I call it “the parting shot.”

Social Anxiety in Men: What Causes It and How to Beat It

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By: Chase Amante

Note from Chase: this is a guest post on understanding and combatting social anxiety, by Will Legend, writer for and founder of DecodeHer.

Have you ever wanted to do something, but backed out because you were overcome with the fear of embarrassment? If you have, then you’ve had social anxiety.

social anxiety

Personally, I’ve experienced social anxiety. When I was in school, I hated being called on in class. Sometimes, I’d fumble with my words. Other times, I’d turn red. And when I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, I was even more embarrassed.

Chances are, you’ve experienced some degree of social anxiety as well. Some experience so much fear in certain situations that they grow frightened just thinking about them. For others, it’s not as severe, but still brings about a feeling of insecurity.

How Your Lifestyle Colors Your Perception of Relationships

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By: Chase Amante

Growing up, I was shown again and again in film, books, and television that there was precisely one (1) path a man could follow with women, romantically-speaking: date a few people, find the right girl, and settle down.

perception of relationships

This never sat entirely right with me, because while I enjoyed the idea of pairing up intensely with some amazing woman, my tastes also changed enough that I also enjoyed fantasizing about pairing up with lots of different amazing women. Not all at once (what a headache!), but mostly more or less one after another. Maybe having children with the different various amazing women along the way. Even while fixated on that one special girl, I could never imagine more than a year or two out into a relationship with her... sort of like most Hollywood films. The movie in my head always ended after the exciting part.

When I discovered the seduction community, I found two more beliefs about how relationships could go, coexisting rather uncomfortably side-by-side with that first. Plenty of men learning how to get girls still aimed for a settled life with one girl they’d commit to more or less forever; some of them because of a lack of abundance mentality, but many of them because that was just what they really wanted, and the cultural narrative gelled with their own intrinsic desires.

Those other two views on relationships are the ones I want to discuss today. I won’t go much into the conventional mainstream view of relationships – you already know that one plenty well enough (and, for the record, I think it’s a perfectly fine and doable path for those who want it), so instead, I want to talk about the other two:

  1. The “Committed Relationships are Bad for Men” View, and
  2. The “Committed Relationships are Playgrounds for Men” View

... and I’ll also talk about where both of these views come from, and how and why your lifestyle radically colors your perception of relationships.

Independent Women vs. Submissive Women: The Merits of Each

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By: Chase Amante

Nothing like a contentious topic framed by a loaded question to wake you up and bring out the strong opinions. So here’s one: what’s better, an independent woman... or a submissive one?

independent women vs. submissive women

If you read “The 4 Kinds of Girls and Which Ones YOU Should Go For”, you’re familiar with both halves of the pie; for the purposes of this article, “soft” = submissive, and “strong” = independent. These are the same things, just described there in more neutral language, and here in more of the language du jour.

In today’s article, we’ll have a look at the merits of both kinds of women – the independent variety, and the submissive variety – and talk about what roles in what men’s lives each are best suited for.

Because while you no doubt have a very strong opinion yourself on which of these two women is “better” and which men should want... I dare say that’s going to vary tremendously from person to person and lifestyle and objectives to lifestyle and objectives.

How to Word Your Requests So They Never Get Rejected

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By: Chase Amante

In “Should You Buy Gifts for a Girlfriend?”, Troy asks about how to word your requests such that they stand the highest likelihood of success with the lowest likelihood of rejection. He says:

“The right way shows consideration and gives a command at the same time. So in the right way I’d ask you Chase: “ I’d like to see an article on giving commands (and words to use) while showing consideration for the other person to up your chance of getting a YES! I’ve had trouble giving commands to people that give them a way out but also make them more likely to go with my request. Thanks!”

word your requests

First off, you’ll never get everyone to say “yes” to all your requests, all of the time. If you ask someone to buy you a new car, unless it’s one of your parents or a fairly wealthy and extremely generous lover, you’re probably not going to get a “yes” to that.

However, what I can show you is how to word your requests in such a way that even if the other person does not comply, it’s not really a rejection and stacks up little or no negative compliance against you... and, I can show you how to escalate your compliance requests so that you stand the best possible chance to get a “yes” to whatever you may be asking.