(3) Journeyman

Place: London
Time: 6:00pm

It was a Friday night in Leicester Square. I had a book in hand and was going to do some reading while doing coffee shop game. When I walked in I noticed a Mediterranean beauty sitting with a couple of her friends.

I walked up to her and introduced myself. From the moment I sat down I felt an instant connection with the girl. Our conversation hopped around topics like economics, adventure, and romance. Her friends sat there watching as we talked for forty minutes. I started to feel like what we were experiencing was special.

She had to leave to attend a play, and she asked me for my name so she could invite me on Facebook. Wrapped up in the moment, I gave it to her without taking her number, and she said she couldn’t wait to see me again. We hugged, and she went off into the night.

I walked home in a joyful glee, excited, thinking about all the possibilities. I kept thinking about how easy and effortless it was to talk to her. I started to think that I would stop going out with other girls I was dating and focus only on her.

“I have a real connection with this girl,” I thought to myself.

When I got home, I quickly logged into Facebook. My heart sank. There was no friend request from her. I refreshed the page fifteen times and still nothing.

“I thought we had a connection...”

You meet her at a coffee shop or the library and have a great interaction; she was laughing at all your jokes and she seemed excited about meeting up with you again. You leave feeling like you and her shared a connection and you are excited about the potential of meeting up again.

You shoot her a text a couple days later, asking her out for drinks. You glance at your phone a couple hours later, still no response. Eventually, you realize that she’s just another flakey number.

Today, let's talk making progress with women, and the kinds of progressions you can go through: passive and active.

There is a difference between passive and active progression. Passive progression is predictable, boring, and obligatory (not fun); active progression feels as if it can go places and change.

It is this difference and the fact that women NEED a man who is always actively progressing (yes, always!) that is why we need to "escalate" to just keep up. In order to progress in a relationship you must perceive a woman's desires and lead the situation to get to those areas.

Typically the most obvious form of active progression or escalation is physical or sexual, but there is actually more to it than this if you are truly paying attention.

Escalation is not just about physical intimacy increasing over time; it actually can include approaching ANY desirable context for a woman that requires your effort or participation to achieve. Things like:

• Open dialogues on important topics
• Showing a greater tendency to forgive or accept behaviors
• Showing a greater ability to perceive her desires and goals
• More time and generous attention
• More interesting dynamics

It is not merely about sexuality but in fact it's about the need to contribute to achieve mutual goals that will not just magically happen on their own.

340Breeze had a comment about issues he was running into managing his long-term relationships over on Darius’s recent article about leading and seduction – here’s the excerpt of Breeze’s comment relevant to our discussion today:

“... seems like women keep the hurt bottled up inside, and then women want to get revenge on me or hurt me because somehow my words hurt them (idk). My personality is such that I can’t easily control feeling the strong negative emotions when people who are close to me start acting like clowns, I get extremely pissed off for a little while, then after a few minutes I calm down. I don’t stay upset for long but some women seem to never ever let go of a bad feeling and cling to it with a death grip. And then some women are always testing, always poking and prodding, and always trying to say or do little things to try and get under your skin, and sometimes the shit they say or do is beyond the pale. It’s like they start drama for no reason all because they’re mad from 2 weeks or 2 months ago and instead of calmly talking about the issue and why/how they’re affected and coming to a calm solution, they let the negative emotions from the past infect their current and future feelings and subsequent behavior and I find it so hard not to say anything in response to their near-continuous shit testing.”

This is, unfortunately, a scenario most men run into eventually in long-term relationships, and a primary contributor to everything from breakups to cheating to “betaization” (that is, males moving into the subordinate role in a relationship).

So what’s the problem here, and what do we have to do to fix it?

A lot of guys who ask for help with women suppress the value of the advice they receive in order to avoid a tender issue. In this article I am going to discuss the tendency to suppress new information in order to continue with old habits and the unconscious anxiety that fuels this behavior.

It is about how suppressive behaviors empower anxiety into a chronic problem and inflate the ego so you never want to LEAVE.

It is the goal and dream of young, middle-aged, and seasoned men everywhere. In fact, I am convinced that 90% of the time that males go out it is for this purpose: the one-night stand.

There are few things more satisfying than going out, meeting a new sexy girl, executing your game perfectly (or probably just good enough), and then taking her home for a one-night stand.

But on the flip side of this coin, it can be an extremely disappointing feeling to go out with the intention of getting a one-night stand and then, sadly, falling short. And droves of men unfortunately experience this frustration on a nightly basis.

Fact is, most guys have only the haziest of ideas about how to get a one-night stand.

There was a period of nearly 10 months where I slept with quite a few girls, and every single one was a one-night stand. During this period, I learned a thing or two about really fine-tuning my process to this end.

And now I’m pleased to share with you what I’ve learned about getting a one-night stand with sexy girls.

I hope you get a lot from this article, but the key take away should be this: in a one-night stand, your process and decision-making are just as important as your appearance and game. So keep that in mind.

If you’re like most men, the women you end up with are, by and large, the ones who put themselves on your radar:

• The girl who sits near you in the library or coffee shop

• The one who dances next to you at the bar or club

• The one who glances at you while waiting for the bus or train

These girls signal you, they toss approach invitations your way, and you get up off your butt and go meet them.

If you think about most of the girlfriends you’ve had, they probably fall into this category. Unless you’re a regular street gamer or mass approacher, my guess is most of the women you’ve slept with fall here, period.

Yet, are these the best quality women you can get?

Or are you missing the choicest fruit high up in the trees, for the fruit that’s easier to get, lying readily in reach upon the ground?