Do you know what separates just a good male dancer from one who women love and just can’t seem to get enough of?
They both need to be good at leading and know how to use their body to the music; the difference, however, is that a good dancer will try to show off his own “moves” while the one who’s being asked out to dance again and again will use leading to make her look amazing.
I remember an exercise we did when I started learning couples dancing, one dedicated to helping you understand how to lead – as a male partner you stand in place and while the song is playing you’re only using your hands to lead her and have her make the dance look great.
Can there be a more perfect analogy for seduction?
You extend your hand firmly to show what will happen next and even though she’s free to choose whether to follow your directions or not, if you do it right she will do so more often than not.
When she doesn’t it’s either because your extension wasn’t clear enough and she’s not sure what you want her to do or maybe she has her weight on another leg and the direction you want her to go would be too uncomfortable or even physically impossible to follow. Either that, or she simply doesn’t trust you enough to feel confident that you will make the whole dance look good.
At no point do you try to force her into a particular position though.
When she does follow through with your lead, all you have to do is stop for a moment and admire how stunningly sexy she looks while spinning, moving her hips, or gently falling into your embrace. Then you extend your arm and show her the next direction.
All this happens while you as a man stand firmly in your position.
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