(3) Journeyman

I spent years making the same mistakes in night game over and over again. I realized recently that it doesn’t take that long to get good at night game as long as you are making the most out of your nights.

My biggest growth spurts in game have come from times of full immersion; going out three to four nights a week to bars and clubs for hours at a time.

Here is a list of things I wish I knew from the beginning about getting good at night game. Some of what I suggest will sound extreme, but making up for years of not going out in a few months will be an extreme experience.

“You should be stronger than me

Don’t you know you supposed to be the man?

You always wanna talk it through – I don’t care!

Why’d you always put me in control?”

— Stronger Than Me by Amy Winehouse

One of the most important aspects to understand about female psychology is the use and existence of a type of language known as subcommunication – a secret language evolved by women over millennia in a male-dominated world. In this secret language, women communicate their sexuality freely, but in a way that most men cannot hear or understand. Women have learned the hard way, through millennia, that men have a psychological need to create a type of schizophrenic distinction among women, slotting all women into a category of either “whores” or “Madonnas”.

Subcommunication – as a feminine subset of the English language – is based on communicating with indirection, double meaning, ambiguity, emotionality, and imprecision for the following purposes:

• To preserve social harmony.

• On the other hand, to stir up competition amongst people when it seems profitable to do so.

• To avoid responsibility and establish plausible deniability.

• To signal intent to someone, as in “Tell without telling, ask without asking.”

• To establish boundaries and frames of interactions.

• To avoid commitment; maintain ambivalence; keep options open.

It’s important to realize that Subcommunication imposes upon the recipient responsibility for correctly interpreting the meaning. In this article, I’m going to focus on Subcommunication in the context of female sexuality.

There’s an undeniable allure to the blonde bombshell.

Hers is a unique spot in the Western pantheon – with her own sexual iconography, even; one that makes her tremendously desirable to a large segment of the male population.

And if you want a gal like her, you may find yourself hitting the same obstacle again and again: why does she keep turning her nose up at me?

It’s a question we’ve been seeing here a lot recently... some of it from minority guys, those of Indian or Middle Eastern birth or descent; some of it as well from plain old apple pie Americans.

They want to know how you get these girls.

The standard response is “get your fundamentals in order, get your game in order, and you will get the women you want – including the blonde bombshells.” And it is correct.

Yet, one of the things you do learn along the way is that different sorts of girls need different sorts of details.

In the case of blonde bombshells, they’re more like punk girls with piercings and tattoos, or feminist girls with closely-cropped blue hair and unshaved armpits, than most guys seem to recognize. Because the blondes men in North America lose their shirts over are not the blondes who were born that way; rather, they’re ones who decided they wanted to fit into a certain mold, then did.

Note from Chase: this is a guest post from John Turner, one of our senior discussion board members who posts under the handle TheDoctor. In this post on the “seduction triangle”, John applies a sales tool called the “sales triangle” to the world of dating and seduction. Here’s John.

When I was starting out in sales, I knew a few of the various sales techniques, had read a lot of theory, and I was pretty confident that I would be able to adapt at an excelled rate. So it wasn’t long before I knew my product in and out and was able to overcome objections quickly and efficiently.

I was sure I’d be a selling machine, but the truth is, I performed very… OK. That was it. Just “OK”. A lot of my prospects would vanish, deals would fall through, and I had an impossible time hitting my budgeted numbers.

What was I doing wrong?

I analyzed absolutely every part of my “sales game” and came up short as to the missing link. I knew it was not my lack of knowledge about the product, nor was it that I was unfamiliar with the tactics of the sales process.

I went crazy trying to figure it out, and I knew I was over-complicating it. It was then that I came upon a sales idea I had not heard of before:

In Part 1 of this series, we took an in-depth look into the reasons why guys get married.

In Part 2, we will explore what these men think their marriages will be like, and also a few examples of (if they do not watch their P’s and Q’s) where and how things can go completely and utterly wrong, wrong, wrong.

I can’t help but find it a wee bit amusing how guys get so stoked to tie the knot to their special girl, and everything is all puppy dogs and rainbows, and then six months later she is carrying his nuts around in her purse.

What do men really want to get out of marriage?

• A nice house?
• A two-car garage?
• 3.2 kids?
• Endless blow jobs and sandwiches?

That’s not even close to the half of it. While men are naturally a little more laid back about things and do not have the crazy sky-high expectations of an endless fairy tale like women do, the problem persists that men usually end up not only getting less of what they actually want, but end up getting a whole lot of other things that they really do not want and really hadn’t bargained on either.

And the more careless and less socially savvy the man is, the less his expectations are actually met.

If you want to catch and keep a beautiful girl, you need to be at the top of your game. And no matter how much you love your family, sometimes it would help if they were buried deep underground. The thought of exposing a girl to the circus of your nearest and weirdest can be truly terrifying.

But there’s really no reason to be afraid. I’ll show you how to play this game like a pro, winning the affections of the girl and the admiration your family.

The key to success is realizing what you’re dealing with. Regardless of what you tell each other, every girl thinks meeting your family is getting to know “the real you”. Interactions with your family will make a deeper impression on her than almost anything else, including, in many cases, how you treat her when you’re alone.

This is a prime opportunity for you to attract her. When she meets your family, she’s ready to notice everything you’ve got going for you. Like how you’re manly and self-assured when you talk business with your dad, how you’re kind and sensitive when helping your mum with the dishes, how you’re hilarious when you tease your little sister, and how you’re boldly sexual when you put your hand on her under the dinner table.

Putting on this kind of show is going to take some serious preparation, not to mention skill. For a start, when is it okay for her to meet your folks?

There are two variables to consider:

1. Is the time right for the girl to meet your family?
2. Is the time right for your family to meet the girl?

Place: London
Time: 6:00pm

It was a Friday night in Leicester Square. I had a book in hand and was going to do some reading while doing coffee shop game. When I walked in I noticed a Mediterranean beauty sitting with a couple of her friends.

I walked up to her and introduced myself. From the moment I sat down I felt an instant connection with the girl. Our conversation hopped around topics like economics, adventure, and romance. Her friends sat there watching as we talked for forty minutes. I started to feel like what we were experiencing was special.

She had to leave to attend a play, and she asked me for my name so she could invite me on Facebook. Wrapped up in the moment, I gave it to her without taking her number, and she said she couldn’t wait to see me again. We hugged, and she went off into the night.

I walked home in a joyful glee, excited, thinking about all the possibilities. I kept thinking about how easy and effortless it was to talk to her. I started to think that I would stop going out with other girls I was dating and focus only on her.

“I have a real connection with this girl,” I thought to myself.

When I got home, I quickly logged into Facebook. My heart sank. There was no friend request from her. I refreshed the page fifteen times and still nothing.

“I thought we had a connection...”