(3) Journeyman

Connect deeply with women by diving into their values, motivations, and experiences – then, after you’ve elicited these, stimulate on their responses.

This post by Glow originally appeared on our forum here.

A subtle but powerful key to managing conversations with women.

Game Generation One tended to rest a lot on spitting game; the art of leading and plowing with multiple stimulating techs. This is definitely useful. Using statements instead of techniques followed. Muti-threading conversations and other techniques came next. These are the more famous ones. Other schools of seduction used other means for conversation management and there are many routes for it.

One such more subtle form of driving, managing and leading convos is elicitation:

• to evoke or draw out (a reaction, answer, or fact) from someone.

• to draw forth (something that is latent or potential) into existence.

In a seducer’s view, it becomes the art of drawing out her world, to engage her in talking about her. To draw her out. Doing so is a subtle but powerful way to grab attention by activating her, by showing interest for her. And you are leading what she brings out.

At the same time she feels interest for her world, and if done well, it will take her to interesting things she has not connected with in a while. Perhaps never really thought about. Another dimension is that she becomes reactive to you. And the experience is very nice for her. So many good things.

When a girl’s beautiful, your instincts will scream to play it safe: go slow! Don’t be risqué! But if you WANT her, you must treat her the SAME as other girls!

Bit of a public service announcement here, but you should not be changing your approach to women simply because they’re beautiful.

Lots of guys do this; in fact, it seems to be hardcoded into men. If you’ve gone through my free 7-day mini course (and if you haven’t, you definitely should – you can take the Girl Q quiz and sign up for the Girls Chase Email Newsletter to begin receiving the mini course here), you’re familiar with the Mating Sociometer.

Sociometer theory states that we adjust our behavior to match our status relative to the status of the person we’re dealing with. The result is men whose hearts beat faster for beautiful girls behaving more reserved and treating those girls as ‘higher status than me’.

Yet any Girls Chase reader who’s been reading even a few weeks should know: doing anything that frames or positions yourself as lower status than the woman you’re courting spells attraction DEATH! Girls go for men they view as higher status than them, not lower!

But that leaves guys with a conundrum: how do you override those instincts to treat her ‘special’ and ‘unique’ when those instincts are so powerful and it’s so hard to get yourself to ‘behave normally’ around her?

Beside this, there’s also what your instinctive brain will be shouting at you: “We HAVE to treat her special! Think there’s any way she’ll go for what all those other girls go for? No way!”

Is that instinct correct?

It’s NOT correct – for reasons we are just about to review.

Note: this article aims at men who are already able to get together consistently with at least somewhat cute girls; i.e., men who have a working process down. If you do not have a working, repeatable process down with girls yet, you may still enjoy this article, but it won’t be as helpful for you – YET!

If you want to get a girl to do what you want, it’s a lot easier if she thinks what you want is ‘what everyone is doing’ or ‘what the cool kids do’. That’s conformity framing.

Women are herd creatures. Women, far more than men, feel driven to conform.

They say love is blind, and blindfolded Cupid with his fickle arrow shots makes it seem so. But what drives people’s often seemingly random pair-ups?

The ancient Greek god of love, Cupid, is sometimes depicted as being blindfolded.

He flies about on a pair of wings to emblemize the flighty, fickle nature of lovers, and is a young boy to show the irrational nature of love.

Male simping is ridiculously counterproductive. It wastes the males time and gets him nowhere with girls. So how on Earth did this behavior evolve?

For years the behavior of male simping has bewildered me.

A boyfriend disqualifier gets a girl to think of you as just a lover, not a boyfriend. When you use these, must you ‘go all the way’ in having her disqualify you – or not?

Lately there’s been a fair bit of discussion on the Skilled Seducer Forum about how far you need to go in disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend. Guys report various problems when disqualifying themselves for the boyfriend role, and other guys are telling them not to go so far in doing so.

I have mixed thoughts about boyfriend disqualification. Obviously it's a core part of seduction that enables rapid escalation. Without it, it's an uphill battle getting out of the "potential boyfriend" category and putting yourself in the "lover" category.

At the same time, I feel like there are girls of this generation who will lose interest if you completely disqualify yourself - at least in my recent experience with young Gen Z girls. As we've discussed, hook-up culture is rapidly changing, social skills are deteriorating, and mainstream values are trending towards conservative.

I’m one of a few guys in seduction who still regularly talks about boyfriend disqualification. That is to say, who still regularly talks about communicating to a girl that you are ineligible for a boyfriend/husband/long-term role.

I think we’re due for some clarification though, because I see a lot of guys using this tactic wrong. So let’s talk boyfriend disqualifiers: just how hardcore do your boyfriend disqualifiers need to be?

Most men during breakups plead, rage, or act like rocks. None of these are ideal though. Instead, you want to seduce her on the way out – with the Nonplussed Romantic Breakup Attitude.

Over the years I have seen a lot of men respond to breakups a lot of different ways:

• Begging women to stay

• Pledging they will change

• Declaring “You need me!”

• Asking to “Make it work”

• Indignation (“Ungrateful!”)

• Defiance (“Who needs you!”)

One thing I very, very rarely see is the man who is completely nonplussed…

The man who doesn’t beg, plead, pledge, ask, declare, or respond with indignation or defiance.

He neither belittles the woman nor prostrates himself before her.

Instead, he remains calm, understanding, gracious, yet without emotion – he still shows some sadness and care. Just not an outpouring of it. He handles the breakup with masculine aplomb.

Perhaps it is because this reaction is so rare, but this Nonplussed Romantic Breakup Attitude is the single biggest way to ensure that you remain stuck deep within a woman’s mind post-breakup, leading to positive feelings on her end, and a whole lot of chasing from her to get you back before you even expect it.

It is how you seduce her on your way out, just as you did on the way in.