(3) Journeyman

A reader on the article about girls with boyfriends writes in with a sentiment I’ve noticed popping up increasingly often on GirlsChase.com:

“But what really saddens me is the feminist undertone that lurks all around this thinking that on the other side look like male dominance. And the question is: Why is it men that have to become perfect? Why is there no such a need for women? Leadership, selfish genes, everything I already know. But I want a higher standpoint. Why are men the only ones that have to step up, and not women?”

This is one that in fact I’ve answered repeatedly in the comments sections of various articles... but I realize not everyone reads those, they’re kind of hard to search / keep track of, and new people roll in and wonder the same things, especially if there isn’t a single place strictly for answering a particular question. So it’s time for it to get a dedicated article.

Why don’t women have to improve? Why don’t women have to step it up? How come they get a free pass... while men have all this pressure to “be perfect”?

It doesn’t seem very fair.

The fact is though, there is TONS of pressure on women to step it up and be perfect – including, indirectly, on this site.

However, this is a men’s site for men, and asking GC to write chastisingly-worded “You better shape up your act, ladies – or else!” articles for women misses the point – that we are here to instruct men who want to up their results, rather than to be just another shrill voice haranguing those who don’t want to “follow the rules” and tell them that they’d better get their acts in gear.

Any guy who has ever set his foot on a forum devoted to the study of seduction or who has purchased a book on the topic is likely to be familiar with the expressions “outer game” and “inner game”. He will know that “outer game” advice consists of learning new behaviors, while “inner game” advice is all about restructuring your cognition, or, in plain English, information processing and thought patterns.

However, not everybody knows that this is a kind of therapy that psychologists have been studying for decades and that they call “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” (commonly abbreviated CBT).

Its name indicates that it builds on the earlier method of pure cognitive therapy (CT) and also on behavior therapy (BT). Both psychologists and aspiring seducers have been discussing which therapy is more effective, but, at least among the psychologists, there is more or less agreement that the combination of CT (“inner game”) and BT (“outer game”) is more effective than either alone.

This should not be surprising; if you approach a problem from multiple angles you are more likely to solve it.

This first article in the new series I am kicking off on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will address the CT part and teach you how to systematically challenge and defeat negative though patterns and unproductive beliefs.

Nearly everybody has something to work with here; there are very few people who are totally free from what are commonly known as “issues”.

In this post I will tell you how you can increase your chances of bringing a girl over to your hotel room without being shut down by hotel receptionists.

There is nothing more annoying than having a good night out abroad, meeting an exotic girl, and then getting cockblocked by a silly receptionist. It has happened to me in the past, and it is terrible.

Now the good news is that it hasn’t happened nearly as often as the times I have brought girls over and had sex in my hotel rooms.

Yet still, why risk being rejected at the door?

This post is a summary of my experiences from my trips this summer. I have been to five hotels this July/August and in none of them have I been cockblocked. The hotels were all in different countries, ranging from Spain, to Romania, Serbia, Ireland, and Scotland.

First of all, let us see why certain hotels reject male customers who try to bring a partner up to their room.

Behind the boastful brain and flashy neocortex of humans lies something much more basic, yet not fully understood. Like all other sexual creatures, we are subject to an instinctive, animalistic sexual desire, which guides us through our day-to-day interactions with the opposite sex.

For other creatures, sex is quite simple.

One of our closest extant relatives, the Bonobo, uses sex quite frequently. They do not engage in sexual monogamy, but rather use sex in all manner of social interactions. They use sex as a greeting, for reproduction, and as a method of bond-forming between women inside a group. In short, they have sex, and they have it often.

This is a far cry from the typical human civilization. Questions of maintaining said amount of sexual activity aside, sex just doesn’t come as easily for us humans. We often place value in social status, mating with the correct people, and avoiding mating with those that would take away from our value, rather than add to it.

Even when you throw out any social status issues, sex just doesn’t come as easily for some men. Why is that?

Recently we’ve been talking a lot about sexual freedom, but so far we have only discussed it philosophically – such as by asking questions like what sexual freedom truly is, or what limits to sexual freedom we should have. And we even discussed whether or not sexual freedom is a positive thing to have within a society.

Today however, we will discuss this topic in a more practical way: how you can use it to actually get women into bed! Nice!

Here is quick recap on what we have so far said about what sexual freedom is:

“To recap quickly the most crucial points from my previous post, we described sexual liberalism as a position that allows individuals to engage in, without any judgement from others, their desired sexual practices. Most Western countries for instance do not legally restrict all that many sexual practices between two consenting adults.”

There are two things we will cover in this post:

1. The first is how being a sexually liberated male can make it easier for us to get laid (and even get girlfriends!), and

2. The second is how we can convey that we are that type of man to women

We also will discuss something that I can talk for many hours about, and that I plan on writing more about in the near future, which this post will serve as introduction to: “how to convey that you are a sexually free man”.

No time to waste, let’s get to the goodies!

I used to think the old phrasing was a fairly straightforward affair. Moths, and flames... one remains in place, bright and beckoning, while the other flutters toward it with abandon, desperate to bask in the light of its warmth and radiance.

“Be the flame, not the moth,” advised Casanova... and it would seem to be simple enough advice.

Yet, one of the things that you learn you must be as you drive ever deeper into seduction is nuanced, not straightforward.

Complex, not simple.

A woman does not fancy a man who is too easily understood. Nor is being that man quite nearly as interesting.

And I realized, while thinking some things over one night working in a room, watching a number of large brown moths fluttering frantically and futilely at my window screen to enter the room and reach the light, and a number of smaller insects that had dropped, burned and singed onto my bed cover, after having attained the object that called to them so alluringly from the ceiling above, that this turn of the phrase was one that, like the men and women it describes, has a bit more nuance to it than it seems at first.

Meeting a woman who will follow your lead, take care of you, and maybe even cook a delicious meal every once in a while is the dream for most men.

However, with the direction that social dynamics are heading in the West, this is a dream that is slipping away from the hands of most men. So how do you find submissive women? What’s it like to date a woman who will go out of her way to please you? And why is it so satisfying to have this kind of woman for most men?

These are the questions that I will be tackling today.