Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Shari James | Treating Erectile Dysfunction (Podcast)

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By: Varoon Rajah

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we feature a show in development for quite some time with my first female guest – Shari James – who runs a successful coaching practice based out of Los Angeles, CA called Architecture of Pleasure to help men resolve Erectile Dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction is an epidemic among men. More and more guys suffer from it in the worst moments, and guys are trying things like Viagra and Cialis to get hard when they shouldn’t have to. I’ve heard of tons of guys who complain about ED, often at some of the worst times – like right before they’re about to have sex with a new girl.

In my own experience, having gone through this often during one period of my life (in my case, it was caused by deep emotional stress), one of the worst feelings in the world is to not be able to perform for a girl who just got into your bed excited to have sex with you. Oftentimes girls will re-rationalize that a guy actually isn’t that into them because he can’t get hard, and I often got instantly rejected after I had a girl in my bed, got ED, and it just kept on happening.

As we’ll soon see from Shari, ED is more common among guys than you think, and the sources of ED are many, ranging from excessive porn usage, to emotional and mental issues, to circulatory and nervous system functions, and also how guys control and release their sexual energy. I hope you guys enjoy this one, as it’s a common issue that few are open to talking about – especially with a woman!

Should You Go Out Alone to Learn Pickup?

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

improve pickup/seduction game by going out alone
Lots of guys are horrified to go out alone when learning pickup/seduction. But once you get over your fear – and you will – you’ll see it’s the best way to get good.

I remember the first time I went to a club alone.

It was Montreal, circa 2007. I’d been into PUA stuff for about a year, taking little to no action other than reading blogs and watching YouTube videos, but I’d moved to Montreal for the sole purpose of mastering my game. I was determined and focused on fixing my sex life.

The only problem was, I didn’t have any friends or wingmen to help me. My normie social circle thought it was a weird and pointless hobby, so I said “Screw it!” and went out alone.

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”
Steve Jobs

That night, I went to a hipster club in the Plateau. It was packed with pretty college girls, drinking, laughing, and dancing with their friends. I stood there and felt all eyes on me.

My internal dialogue chirped away.

“They’re all looking at you. They know you’re alone. Why are you here? You should talk to someone. But what would you say? Isn’t it creepy to talk to strange women? Maybe go home and try again tomorrow. Come back when you’re in a better state. You don’t have to do this. Go and watch another video about what to say to women.”

Blah, blah, blah. The ego never stops. It wants you to be safe and to fit in with the herd. Feeling the judgmental eyes of all these strangers, I pulled out my cell phone and pretended to talk. Yeah, I mimed talking on the phone. I even acted out a laugh. Yep, I’m not alone! I’m just waiting for friends! Ho, ho, ho… so much fun!

Eventually, I just gave up, walked out of the club, got on my bicycle, and pedaled my pathetic ass home. That night, I made a vow – never again would I go out and at least not try. The next night, I went out and felt those same pangs of terror, adrenaline, and self-conscious doubt. But I remembered my vow. All I had to do was try… so I did.

Tactics Tuesdays: When Dates Don't Work Out, Do a Post-Mortem

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating post-mortem
When a date or an outing doesn't pan out, use a post-mortem to figure out why. Give yourself clear action items for next time – and recover your emotions, too.

Your dates and outings won't always work out.

Sometimes they don't pan out at all. You go out and approach girls and all you get are stony faces. You take girls onto dates yet can never get past the polite zone. You bring women home and hit a wall of last-minute resistance.

There is one thing you ought to always do, whenever things don't go your way.

That thing is a post-mortem.

The term comes from the Latin for after death, and it's pretty close to how we'll use it here.

After your date, outing, or seduction has 'died'... after the whole thing is over (and not before), you're going to do an 'after death' review to figure out what within your control went well, and what to change next time.

This is so incredibly important to your learning and future success. It takes your progress with women and puts it on the fast track -- and all it takes it a little cognizance of what you could've done better, and enough emotion control to step back and look at everything objectively.

Travel and Romance: The Wonders of International Friends with Benefits

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By: Darwin Niwrad

Travel and Romance: International Booty Calls
Who doesn’t fantasize about romance when they travel? For all you adventurers, here’s how to combine sex and travel to enhance all aspects of your time abroad.

Every year, I head to Bermuda with my buddies and spend about a week there. It’s quite an amazing place. With stunning beaches and some of the most beautiful women in the world, it is truly the island of hospitality... and it really opened my eyes as to why travel and romance go hand in hand.

The first year I visited, I met a spectacular girl. I spent a day or two getting to know her and, after a long day of hiking and exploring – and an even longer night of drinking rum – we spent some time exchanging stories, dreams, and kisses before finally boarding her ship.

I’m not a fan of sex on the beach, so we went back to where I was staying. Throughout the summer and into the next year, we would consistently text about the good times we had (and were going to have) together.

She had a boat and a place by the water. She knew everyone in town and took me to the most spectacular cliff-diving areas. We went to private beach parties, and I made sure she had a great time with me from the moment I met her until I headed home. After I left, I stayed in touch with her.

The next year, we came back to visit. I’d cut my expenses by half, I’d made tons of friends, and the locals welcomed me back like I was one of them. Now, any time I get the traveling bug, I have this amazing option I know will turn out great.

By collecting international lovers, you broaden your travel plans, and those plans are far more exciting knowing you have a sexy someone there waiting for you.

If you’ve checked out some of the other articles here on Girls Chase about romance around the world, you’ve probably come across How to Pick Up Girls in Foreign Countries. Check it out if you’re not sure how to create romantic encounters when you travel. There are some things you should know and others you should avoid.

How to Create a Personal Plan for Success with Women

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By: Cody Lyans

Create a Plan for Success with Women
Want to get better with women but don’t know exactly how to go about it? Follow these steps to create a plan that makes efficient use of your time and your mind.

How should you go about planning for success when it comes to learning about women?

This is a difficult question to answer because seduction has many moving parts, but to follow up on my previous post, I will describe my process and the questions I use to forge my way through the chaos.

To plan for success in seduction – or anything you want to get better at – try asking these three questions.

  • What do you need to improve?

  • When do you need to improve it?

  • And why?

These questions might seem simple at first glance, but we can only learn at a certain rate. Therefore, to improve at a rapid pace, you want to streamline the process by focusing on what is most important for you at a certain time, with the right purpose behind it. While these questions are simple, there is a lot more substance to them than meets the eye. So, in this article, I will go through a few things that should make answering them an easier task.

Knowing why you need to learn something requires you to understand the broad context. Knowing when to learn something requires self-awareness. And knowing what to improve requires access to technical details and common trends. The substance of these questions is in how you go about developing technical proficiency, self-awareness, and contextual understanding.

Dating and Relationship Precedent: Avoid Leading Her On (Video)

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By: Hector Castillo

Spending time with a cute girl is fun. Enjoying sex and good conversation with her is one of the finest pleasures in life.

But sometimes that's all you want.

As lovers of women, it's paramount that we make sure she knows that's all you want and doesn't get her hopes up for anything more than you can offer.

We want to make women happy and leave them better than we found them.

That's why it's important to understand precedent and expectations, in any kind of relationship, sexual and romantic.

Watch the video to learn how to set the right expectations with women.

5 Mindsets to Overcome the Fear of Approaching Women

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By: Alek Rolstad

Mindsets to Overcome the Fear of Approaching Women
The fear of approaching women is a major hurdle for a lot of guys. By adopting these key mindsets, you’ll realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Hey guys, welcome back. Last week, we discussed some tips and tricks for dealing with the fear of rejection – i.e., managing the anxiety that keeps you from approaching women.

Here’s what was discussed:

  • It’s totally normal to experience approach anxiety

  • Most guys feel anxious about approaching women

  • Those who don’t feel any anxiety tend to be uncalibrated

  • Even experienced players face lower-level anxiety at times

  • It is hard – if not impossible – to completely get rid of approach anxiety

  • You can do things to effectively manage it

We discussed strategies that, if implemented, should make approaching easier for you. Today, we will go deeper and add some simple-yet-powerful mindsets you can – and should – apply that will make the whole process even simpler.

These are mindsets that I have used in the past with great success. I have also shared them with friends, co-seducers, and newbies. This post is suited for everyone still struggling with approaching women. These mindsets can be used for both day game and night game.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.1: An Analogy for Life and Relationships

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By: Varoon Rajah

red-black game analogy for life and relationships
How you play the game of life will determine whether you win or lose. It’s nice if everyone could win all the time, but real life situations often make that impractical.

To close out my writing for the year, I’m going to take a hard look at human behavior in this series. I started writing this article back in January 2018 and, at first, it was one of my most positive – and unrealistic – articles to date.

It put it on the back burner for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, my life unfolded into the greatest whirlwind I’ve ever experienced, a result of the forces of trust and fear, as well as people striving to get what they want from me – and me from them.

When you interact with another human being, there are many elements at play. Two of the biggest are trust and intention. The combination of these two elements – how much you trust someone and how you perceive their intentions – has huge ramifications for how your relationships develop and endure.

This article is a little abstract, but I think it’s a nice model for pondering over how you interact with different people and entities. I’m going to show you a model for approaching your relationships with others for your long-term benefit, whether it be with men or women, in either business or social situations. I’m also going to teach you how to identify when to protect yourself from people who want to hurt, dominate, or take advantage of you.

I believe everyone can grow from this model, and it boils down to one simple thing – when you play a game, everyone wants to win. For you to achieve the strongest level of power in a game, you must ensure that everyone wins their game and are in control of that process.

If you cannot achieve this (i.e., if you cannot win together), then you must ensure that you read the threatening intentions of the other side correctly, successfully dominate the other side, and win against any aggressive threats.

This includes the dating game. Always structure your encounters with women so that both you and her win in the battle. Either dominate your competition or provide winning mechanisms for them, too. We’re going to analyze this by exploring the red-black game.

When to Have Sex with a New Girl

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex
How long you wait to have sex is important no matter the type of relationship you want, be it casual, serious, short or long term. So, what’s too fast and too slow?

How long should you wait to have sex? A month? A week? Seven minutes? Most guys would probably love to be able to have sex with a girl in seven minutes but, in reality, they’d most likely get bored eventually, due to a lack of challenge.

You can learn how to have sex very quickly – but should you? Do you even want to? If you want to have a quick one-night stand, the faster, the better.

But if you want to see a girl again, it might be better to stretch things out and get to know her a bit.

Either way, never ask her how long you should wait to have sex. She doesn’t know, and it’s just going to be awkward for both of you to ask something like that.

As a dating coach, I advise my clients to have sex as quickly as possible, because I’ve seen way more girls lost from moving too slowly than moving too fast. I’ll explain why that is in this post.

That said, yes, I’m also a pickup artist, and so are most contributors on this site. But we’re all dating coaches who understand that not everyone is keen on the “pickup” mentality when it comes to dating, and that’s totally cool.

Everyone has different woman goals, so we are here, first and foremost, to help you get what you want, no matter what your goals may be, short or long term.

The following advice... is for everyone.

Tactics Tuesdays: Smile, Eyebrows Up, Open Eyes

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

smile and attraction
It's basic, but it's also easy to forget to do. Smile when you approach a girl, and your odds of success with her go way up.

Sometimes the simplest stuff is the most important.

Every now and again, despite however many years at this, I will go out and discover things aren't going my way. Women don't glance at me or hover near me; when I approach them, they're lukewarm.

At first, whenever something like this happens, I assume it's randomness and asymmetry. Not everyone who sees you will like you; not everyone you talk with you'll connect with. Yet sometimes the pattern keeps up, well past the point you can chalk it all up as randomness. You meet more girls, talk to more girls, and they're still not as receptive as they should be.

Whenever this happens, I do a post-mortem on the outing. What did I do wrong? Where'd I screw up? I can usually find a few areas.

One of the most common, though, is also one of the most basic. All too often, I've been off in whatever kind of mood, and realize I haven't been smiling.