A girl once said the following about me to a mutual friend:
“You know, the best things about Darius are his deep cuts and his charisma.”
I must say, I was a little surprised. Not about the deep cuts part – since college I was known to wear buttoned shirts with an extra open button and I’ve always preferred V-necks over crew necks on tees.
Quick off topic tip: It works and it’s hot. If you’re of shorter stature be careful though, as it might mess up your upper body proportions and visually make you look shorter.
The part that I was surprised about was that she called me charismatic. You see, I’ve never been the talkative, outgoing, life of a party kind of guy, and back when it was said it was even more obvious than it is now.
Nonetheless, in her eyes I was charismatic.
What’s interesting is that after that conversation I did indeed start working, at first indirectly, on further developing this quality – though “quality” might not be the best word to describe charisma. As you’ll see in this article, it would be more appropriate to call it a skill than a quality of your character.
As I got better at managing charisma, interesting things started to happen:
I would relatively easily find new groups and friends during my nights out (it’s not uncommon by the end of the night to realize that the group I’m currently having fun with, who are inviting me to after parties and the like, consist only of people I don’t really know)
Guys often will buy me shots and ask to drink with them (happens less frequently with women, but that’s expected)
And people in general seem eager to open up and share their stories.
For example, last time I was out, after ordering my drink, an unknown guy walked up and asked me to join his company of four ladies on the dance floor.
I’m sure I don’t need to explain that, not only does this makes nights out more pleasurable in general and puts you in a very positive state of mind, it also makes the subsequent steps of seduction easier (but don’t be fooled, you still need to make things happen).
With this introduction I first would like to refer you to another article, written by Ricardus, The 3 Things to Know If You Want to Be Charismatic, in which he brilliantly covers the core parts of what makes a man charismatic and how to be one.
I would like to urge you to read that piece first and then come back here, as in my article I would like to focus more on the specifics and strategies you can employ to develop your charisma and do this, even if you’re not a particularly outgoing guy.