What Do You Do If You're Caught Lying | Girls Chase

What Do You Do If You're Caught Lying

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Hector Castillo's picture

caught lying
Not that you should lie. But if you do lie, you’d better be able to handle it when you get caught.

“I’m going to visit a friend of mine one of the days I’m here,” I say to her.

“Oh? Which friend is that?”

“My programmer buddy; we met last time I was in the city.”

“Okay, when are you going to see him?”

I tell her that I’ll be meeting him later in the evening for a beer.

Except I’m not meeting with my programmer friend that day (yes, there is a programmer friend, and I did plan on meeting up with him, too. Just not that day).

My plan is to meet another girl. I met my girlfriend first, but I spent much more time with the other girl before my gal and I eventually saw each other and slept together. This other chick had a boyfriend at the time, and even though we didn’t sleep together – and we still haven’t – she is one of those girls that I’m perfectly content spending time with, even if sex isn’t involved.

Oh, and she has the same name as my girlfriend. Poetic, right?

I explained my plans because the express reason for my visit is to see my gal before I move to a new city. Also because I care about her. I just didn’t see the need to tell her that I was going to see another woman.

A few hours pass by, my girlfriend and I walk around a mall together, grab coffee, and work on some projects. Then, as we’re eating lunch, she asks me again about the friend I’m supposed to meet that night. As she asks, I see her eyes narrow and her focus intensify.

In that moment, I realize she’s caught me. I have an obsessive dedication to the truth, even when it hurts, so I freeze as the moral equations continue from when I earlier decided to not tell her the whole truth.

Of course, if you’re trying to get away with a lie, freezing up is the worst thing you can do.

Comments

Pagan's picture

Hector I gotta say I used to think of your early pieces as excessively savage but this year you've made me a believer in the ways of hector .
This article right here was a perfect one , keep turning out dope shit

Beck's picture

So tldr be a man. Your girl seems to be a pretty bad ass bitch, like you.
Reading this reminded of a girl I met through a colleague (can't really call him a friend). I was pretty clueless about women at the time but we got along great, she admired my honesty. I was moving too slow with her and she like disappeared for two weeks (woundn't even answer texts) but when she saw I was going to some uni party she came asking me about it and sent me a "I hope you meet someone cool there :)"
Despite that and me telling her I was interested in some other girls at the time she kept seeing me and sending me pics in her underwear. I was a bit of a slowpoke though and she liked me so she was trying to use sex to get a relationship out of it, so I told her I was happy being single and stopped seeing her. I still respect her for the way she reacted to me telling her I wanted other girl though, I didn't thought she would be that chill about it.

Motiv's picture

If Hector can fall in love, what chance do the rest of us have…?! :P

This article puts the cap on your genuineness – really great stuff here.

TLDR: I think deception hits men much harder than it does women. Just look at the great gap in male/female suicide rates. These days I care far more about telling the truth to a man than any woman.

"You’re not asking for salvation from the lie, you’re asking for salvation from the capture and arrest.

You don’t need her forgiveness; you only need her to understand."

Amazing points: in the words of Harley Quinn, "own that shit!"

“Someone who knows too much finds it hard not to lie.” – Ludwig von Wittgenstein

Absolutely!

Truth is relative to one's perception of reality, which differs (sometimes drastically) from person to person. I once applied for a part-time job during one slow summer, and one question on the application read, "Are you an honest person?" Really???

In lieu of discovering female moral ambivalence (as well as the power of earning their devotion), I tend not to worry much these days over the accuracy (and inaccuracy) of what I say to women (even in professional situations…!) – too tiresome to keep track of for one. Secondly, a simple, open admission for whatever I am "caught" generally ends with a quick, painless (and sometimes very pleasurable) resolution.

Thanks for another great read, Hector.

-M

P.S. Looking forward to the program you've been working on with Chase. 2017 should be a great year!

Lux's picture

Didn't like the part of "i won't explain or you'll abuse", honestly, it feels like posturing, also considering the practical steps are fully explained and theory won't change that.

Some powerful concept on letting her lead to give back the power you've taken with the lie: that's an important one, well done highlighting that.

Didn't like the confession part of not looking at her and ending with "yeah, soooo...", maybe should have gone deeper into explaining the lie was not to hurt and not just to hide.

Mu ipinion and nitpicking here on an overall great article, well written as usual and pleasure to read.

kenjikojo's picture

Amazing write up Hector, awesome!!

Quali(ty)'s picture

Excellent piece!

Kenshi's picture

This is awesome. Just what I needed to read. Keep churning out great advice. You are helping a lot of people.

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