Not that you should lie. But if you do lie, you’d better be able to handle it when you get caught.
“I’m going to visit a friend of mine one of the days I’m here,” I say to her.
“Oh? Which friend is that?”
“My programmer buddy; we met last time I was in the city.”
“Okay, when are you going to see him?”
I tell her that I’ll be meeting him later in the evening for a beer.
Except I’m not meeting with my programmer friend that day (yes, there is a programmer friend, and I did plan on meeting up with him, too. Just not that day).
My plan is to meet another girl. I met my girlfriend first, but I spent much more time with the other girl before my gal and I eventually saw each other and slept together. This other chick had a boyfriend at the time, and even though we didn’t sleep together – and we still haven’t – she is one of those girls that I’m perfectly content spending time with, even if sex isn’t involved.
Oh, and she has the same name as my girlfriend. Poetic, right?
I explained my plans because the express reason for my visit is to see my gal before I move to a new city. Also because I care about her. I just didn’t see the need to tell her that I was going to see another woman.
A few hours pass by, my girlfriend and I walk around a mall together, grab coffee, and work on some projects. Then, as we’re eating lunch, she asks me again about the friend I’m supposed to meet that night. As she asks, I see her eyes narrow and her focus intensify.
In that moment, I realize she’s caught me. I have an obsessive dedication to the truth, even when it hurts, so I freeze as the moral equations continue from when I earlier decided to not tell her the whole truth.
Of course, if you’re trying to get away with a lie, freezing up is the worst thing you can do.