10 Steps to Not Get Raped in Your Divorce | Girls Chase

10 Steps to Not Get Raped in Your Divorce

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

divorce rape
When a marriage crumbles, men fast learn the system is stacked against them. But divorce rape is not inevitable; you can beat the system.

Comments

SZ's picture

Damn, this was a deep article.

1. I wanted to know about hitting the women back part more. How did you or how do you not get told on for doing it and not getting in trouble for it? Can't women use that against you too? Won't everyone be against you because you're a man?

2. I remember you saying that if a guy hits you, there's no point in hitting back, but why is it different for a woman?

3. Imma have to use race here, but how do you feel if a black guy hits a woman back? Think his chances are worse than a white guy? I'm talking about both black and white women. Do you think that it would be worse if a black guy hit a white chick back? How would black men get out of that situation? Because we know it would be harder for blacks.

4. Speaking of race, how would a black man win against whites when it comes to certain situations of who is right or wrong, and in the corporate world? It seems the system is in more of favor of whites as well as the corporate world. It's like no matter what the situation, the black mans wrong. The situations can be anything in the world, like an argument, who people agree with, who popo agree with, that you're right and they will be fair.

How would black men win against the bias ?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

I've only had women hit me lightly, to test. Basically they do it to see if they can get away with it. When you hit them back, same part of the body, same level of strength, they act shocked, and you just smile in an impish way and tell them, "Don't hit me, I won't hit you," and give them a wink. If they try to lecture you on how you're not supposed to hit a woman or whatever you just tell them, "Oh, I never learned that lesson. The lesson I learned was if someone hits you, you hit them back. So that's what I do."

If she hits you, and you hit her back in equal force to the same part of the body, and she calls the cops on you, she is crazy. Dump her. That said, it seems like there are more crazy black women, so you may be at greater risk of a girl hits you, you hit her back, and she calls the cops. They probably won't do anything unless she's bruised or bleeding or something, which she shouldn't be if you're only hitting her back proportionately. But still a hassle.

But if you're afraid of the police I guess the other thing you could do is have a zero tolerance policy and boot her out immediately after she hits, and refuse to see her again that day. Nothing's going to be as good as eye-for-an-eye, though. If a girl knows whatever she dishes out she gets back, she gets a lot more careful about what she dishes out.

Also, STRONG recommendation: never hit a girl hard. If she hits you hard, don't hit her; just boot her out and dump her. If you hit her hard, prepare for her to call the cops. Don't do it.

--

If a random guy hits you, assuming you are out to meet girls, hitting him means you get into a big fist fight and almost certainly do not get laid that night. The night is lost. There are some times it's worth fighting back, but if you're out to meet women it's usually not then. Obviously, if you know the guy and this is social circle, that changes things. Then you may need to hit back. If it's a girl, and you let her hit you with zero consequences, she is not a random individual you will never see again, she is someone who will continue to beat you up in your relationship with her. It's the difference between random stranger, whom you want to ignore if possible, versus consistent part of your life, who needs to know where the line is with you and not to cross it.

--

On the corporate world thing, I've not seen any black guy / white guy fights in the corporate world and couldn't advise you on this. I'm not sure the black guy is necessarily at a disadvantage here, either, all other things being equal.

--

Super horny is great. Go approach girls. Put that energy to use!

If you're in the middle of nowhere and there are no women around, transmute it into something useful.

Doubt, get into action. The more action you take, the more doubt recedes, and clarity comes to the fore. It's not always immediate - sometimes action brings more doubt up front - but it forces you to confront that doubt, and reach clarity.

Yes, be mad at yourself for not starting sooner. That emotion helps burn it into your brain how much you don't want to feel this way again. Then once you've been mad about it enough, forgive yourself, and focus on the task at hand.

And yeah, get a passport. Useful to have.

Chase

Sz's picture

I had a few questions

1. I've been super horny lately and don't know what to do. I've been working out more, I've been working on my businesses, and think about fucking women all the time.

With my skill level I go crazy because I want to take a new chick home every night, and since I'm not there yet, I go crazy.

Any advice on how to make this work for me better while I get better at taking chicks home to fuck? The feeling is just too much for me I go insane with horniness.

2. What to do when doubts kick in, want to be successful and 100+

What do you do when doubts kick in? I get depressed as fuck when doubts kick in.

I want to be successful and fuck 100+ women.

I keep feeling my age is old, I just feel old. I need to work my ass off for my businesses. Having doubts suck.

And with the 100+ I worry about reaching that goal, like how can I reach that goal as fast as I can from where I'm at ? I need to get there, but it feels daunting and not realistic anytime soon. It's like can I get good fast enough? I have no idea on how good I have to be to pull this off and my age makes me depressed and doubtful about it. I really want this bad.

I want a super excellent business and over 100 lays really bad, I want to beat this doubt.

3. Should I be mad for taking action now instead of before? I get so mad at myself for not taking action with things in life, and I'm doing it now. Is it a waste to feel like this? You know what I mean, like damn why didn't I start this sooner? You keep kicking yourself for the years you didn't do it.

4. I'm guessing I should get my passport no matter what eh?

Thanks

Ruthless Savage's picture

I'm more of a laid back guy, not a pushover by any means, i do tend to be nice at times and feel i shouldn't, in fact, I am more of a nice guy, not the weak way with women, but you know.
I want to know more about being savage and ruthless and how I would be able to do that. It's kind of not my character, but I would like to add it, it would be very new to me to be this way, but I feel it will help immensely.

The part with girls hitting you, I have seen girls attack relentlessly against dudes, like just throwing many punches, what would you do to diffuse that? I don't think you'd want to do the same thing, maybe grab them?

"1. Let her see you destroy someone else using “The System.” In my case, it was the corporate system with my coworker at work, and later the legal system with my ex-business partner."

How would I use the system in my favor? What would I have to learn?

"2. Let her see you possess the capacity for physical violence and lack of fear in the face of threats and adversity."

I'd like to know more on how to develop this violent, fearless mindset against threats and adversity.

I also tend to worry about the law a lot; like making sure im a goody goody, and it kind of makes me feel weak in a sense, wonder how i could change that, or if I should?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Ruthless-

All I can say there is 'practice'.

I had to learn how to deal with people who attacked me. Often it would be a conscious, mechanical decision. Like, "Okay, this person just screwed me over. I guess that means I need to [whatever]." Often there would be fear there, or apathy. But I'd do it anyway.

Like anything though, once you taste success, you get used to it. I realized when people pushed me around, if I pushed back, often I'd win, and they'd quit pushing. Just became a natural response after a while.

I've not been in the 'volleys of punches' situation, and am loathe to advise on situations I've not dealt with personally. However, my off-hand recommendation would be you separate from her, adopt an ice-cold expression, and tell her, in your iciest voice possible, "Get out" (or, if not in your place, tell her, "We're through," and leave). Don't bend, don't listen to her pleading, don't respond to her challenges. And don't ever answer anything from her again. Women that screwed up are dangerous in lots and lots of ways.

To use the system, you'll have to learn the system. Study it. That's rather outside the scope of this site, however. Maybe check out Ribbon Farm; brilliant social analysis often devoted to the corporate world.

As for fearlessness, I suggest starting here:

Chase

fabio's picture

Really good article. Especially that pick the right wife part.

Do you plan on writing an article on screening out muscle* diggers?

There are some evil women out there who dig muscular men. They want to look at your muscles, touch it, ask you to hug them, to lift something etc.

"What's the problem?" you might ask.

The problem is that those women don't like you for you like yo mamma does. They don't give you ego validation. If you were skinny, they wouldn't even look at you.

What advice would you give to muscular guys?

Would you tell them to slouch, hide their muscles, wear oversized clothes, get fat asap?

You might think that I'm just jealous of those guys and trying to sabotage them... you might think that I'm in auto-rejection by calling those women evil, superficial when I realize that I'll only ever be able to jerk off to their Instagram photos at best. I'm not.

__
* you can substitute this with fashion, popularity, credentials, nice haircut, tatoos etc.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Fabio-

Heh. Your comment is satire, but you actually hit on an accurate point. There really ARE "* diggers".

I haven't dealt with "muscle diggers" - not jacked enough, I'm afraid. If I was though, any girl who started by feeling up my muscles or commenting on how big I was would immediately be out for an LTR.

Here's the thing with girls prioritizing your non-holistic qualities: if she's a single issue dater, she's also likely to be a hypergamous dater (or wife). Which makes her a very unreliable partner.

Unimportant when hooking up. But if your wife got together with you first and foremost for your big muscles, you'd better hope you never get a back injury and lose those big muscles. Or that a guy with bigger pecs never takes a shine to her. Otherwise, you may find yourself sobbing over how shallow women are.

But it isn't all women who are shallow, at least not in this specific way. It is single-issue women - your "* diggers."

So, actually a great concept/distinction here... even if it was not intended to be ;)

Chase

Anonym's picture

Hi Chase,

In the JSTOR datadase I found a study about financial concequences of divorce for men from the period you did not find any study in.

Here is it:
McManus, P. A.; DiPrete, T. A.: Losers and Winners: The Financial Consequences of Separation and Divorce for Men. American Sociological Review . Vol. 66, No. 2 (Apr., 2001), pp. 246-268.

If you are interested in it and do not have access to this database, I can download it and send it to you. Just write an email address where you would like to receive it.
I guess if you go to different databases and use different keywords and play a bit with the search filters, you can find probably more articles about divorce consequences published after 2000.

Thanks for an interesting article. It was a bit scary reading, although I do not live in the US.

Anonym

P.S. I guess that the easiest way to avoid gold diggers and social climbers is not to be rich and have high social status. ;)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anonym-

Oh, good find. Interesting stats they've put together on standard of living changes.

And, in the research paper itself, the authors mention getting their data from the Panel Study of Income Dynamics (PSID), which apparently tracks incomes and standards of living. Not sure if PSID covers divorce settlements (probably not), but still could include some clues into how these may have shifted over time.

Chase

Anonymous 's picture

I looked at the links you sent me, thank you. It seems the jobs I want are all engineer jobs, which equals, math.
Would you happen to know majors I could purse with my math learning problem?

I want to be able to go to school having a better idea on what I can major in. Like I said I have a math learning problem, so I'm kind of limited and I don't want that to stop me, nor do I want to pick a useless degree. I hope you can give me some ideas on what I can get a degree in that's not useless

I would truly appreciate it, I just want an idea on what I can do. After I find a major, then Ill work on making the big bucks.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Afraid not. I am not a living encyclopedia of all world knowledge, unfortunately. While I am aware of the prospects of some careers, I don't know more than what's in those links shared. That is the extent of what I know on the subject.

Chase

Anonymous 's picture

Chase, do you think there's a certain point when we should have or we have to have kids?

I read an article that says even if the mother was young, if the father is over 35 something will be wrong with the baby.

With that being said, do you think that article is true? And based on your own perspective, so you feel we should have kids around a certain age? Or do you think it doesn't matter?
I'm thinking around my mid 30s to early 40s to be honest because I'm focussed on myself.

I also wonder should guys wait that long if they're not even legend sudeucers? Because nothing's worse than feeling like it's too late to have a kid because you waited, then you might get a shitty baby mama, who knows.

I want a regular baby mama, I don't want no super ambitious type girl, just a chill chick that isn't crazy or gets around. Know where I could find girls like that when it's time? Imma need some choices because imma be hunting!

I don't even want to be married at all if possible, I just want my kids and that's it, if I like the mother I will keep her around, but no rings, no wedding, no papers, just freedom. How does that sound to you?

Do you have any kids Chase? If not, when you plan on having some?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

I've seen no scientific evidence for the 'male menopause' meme or the 'older fathers have birth defects' meme. When you pair up older fathers with younger mothers, the birth defects thing seems to go away. The factor to consider is how old the mother is.

So, if you're worried about birth defects, and you want kids when you're 70, focus on finding women in their 20s to knock up, and you ought to be fine.

I cannot tell you what age to have children at. That's different for everyone. Though I'd advise you to figure out your income streams first if possible (for various reasons).

As for me, my thoughts on marriage are all right here:

Chase

Anonymous 's picture

Hello Chase, I'm responding to your date comment.

You said that a girl is more likely to pay for you and her if I'm "super sexy" and "provide her an experience like no other".

How do I act super sexy and provide an experience like no other while im still new to taking girls on dates right now?

And how do I actually become super sexy and provide an experience like no other?

I heard from someone that it's even easier for introverts to get laid now because girls just want to sit back, hang out, get a pizza, drink, and watch Netflix.

What's your take on this with many different girls? Sounds like my type of date!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

How do I act super sexy and provide an experience like no other while im still new to taking girls on dates right now?

And how do I actually become super sexy and provide an experience like no other?

Step 1: Go to this website:

www.girlschase.com

Step 2: Practice the stuff you find there. Particularly the stuff focused on fundamentals and vibe.

Step 3: Profit.

I heard from someone that it's even easier for introverts to get laid now because girls just want to sit back, hang out, get a pizza, drink, and watch Netflix.

What's your take on this with many different girls? Sounds like my type of date!

My take on these sorts of dates is here:

Will Netflix and Chill Actually Get You Sex?

Whether this is easier for introverted guys than in times past, I am not so sure. The biggest problem for introverted guys is meeting girls and asking them out in the first place, and that problem doesn't go away just because more people are doing Netflix and chill. That part of the process is still the same as ever.

Chase

edgar's picture

Please address the live-in girlfriend who quits her job to study for the MCAT, announcing that she wants to attend a $60K, 5-year med school program and announces that she is ready to get married. She also announces that the guy should pay to move with her to the town that has the med school. He should rent a nice place for them.
Will all her college debt accrued during med school be the guy's responsibility? If the divorce happens during med school, will the judge have the guy continue to pay for her lifestyle attending med school because she had no income when they divorced?
20% of people who start med school drop out. What happens to the debt?
Wouldn't the guy lose all his power in the relationship because she would only benefit financially by kicking him to the curb? Wouldn't her feelings for him change in that she is becoming a powerful doctor, and he is in a weakening financial position, accruing all her med school debt and on the hook for alimony since she is unemployed?
Could you compare that to marrying her when she is finished with med school and has accepted her first doctor job?
All in all: should the marriage happen when both the man and woman are done with graduate school and both working?

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