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Going to take a dip into a moral gray area today, but will talk a bit about "karma" as I do so, too. And not the spiritual sort - that's neither here nor there, as far as I'm concerned. I'm far more interested in the practical variety.
Anyway, we've had some discussion lately about snagging girls from directly under their boyfriends' noses - one of our forum members who's been racking up a number of new girls in bed lately, NarrowJ, shared a recent report about taking a girl to bed in the house she stayed in with her (rather controlling and abusive) boyfriend, and a reader named Aaron recently wrote in with this question:
“Hi Chase and friends at girlschase,
I was thinking an article on how to deal with the boyfriend himself in social situations would be great for an article, and would build on the shoulders of Chase's earlier article: "Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to Do, and 7 Things NOT to."
Imagine the following scenario: You know this girl from work or school. You like her. She likes you. You flirt with each other. The only problem? She has a long term boyfriend. Or alternatively, you meet a girl who has brought her boyfriend with her at a party.
Either way, a social situation arises in which she presents her boyfriend to you (for example at a party to test you, or out pure coincidence).
How do you handle the boyfriend? How do you demonstrate that you are a more dominant, superior, better man, and that she would be better off with you?
Hope you consider this!
Aaron"”
Is this possible to do? Sure. Is it something you can consistently pull off? ... well, let's just say take whatever your normal consistency is at picking up, and reduce that a fair bit because now you're trying to outcompete the girl's boyfriend; however, if you can pull this off with a girl who wants you to steal her from her man (we'll talk about these girls and why they want this in a bit), in this case you can actually achieve a higher degree of consistency at pulling... assuming you handle logistics properly.
But before we discuss doing this, let's talk a little about the
scenario itself, and any potential moral implications... because I
don't get my kicks making good people sob, and I hope you don't either.
Comments
Happens to the best of us!
Chase,
I am kicking myself in the teeth with this article. A couple of weeks ago I met this beautiful girl while running on the sprint track. I put my process to work and boom was in an awesome date the same day. We flirted and she loved me during our date. When persuading her to have her come home with me that night she told me that her boyfriend was coming to pick her up. I flirted with her and told her "tell him your battery is about to run out on your phone and that your going to bed early tonight". She seductively laughed and didn't say anything about it. Minutes later her boyfriend shows up, a fat pudgy lawyer. I played it smooth and cool but concealed my reaction of: this is so f-ing weird! Anyways I socially tooled this guy, dominated everything, it was sexy lol it was textbook perfect on how easy i played it. But it was just so damn weird because this specific situation had never happened to me. I really thought that she was just retarded and playing me the whole time. So the date ended with her fat pudgy boyfriend taking her out to eat because he was hungry. I left and continued my non-seductive result oriented night in utter confusion. Looking back and reading this article: im sitting here fist pumping the air (out of a missed lay) like im at a techno club! The true seducer what have just gone through with it seeing all the signs and understanding what she was doing as described your article and followed through instead of giving up like i did. All i can do is laugh about it. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle ;)
High School Reputation
Hey Chase,
You've probably been the most influential person in my life the past year or so. I've completely changed my personality for the better and have girls approach me. However, this is getting out of hand. Because I'm "talking" to more then one girl at a time (Probably Juggling about 5 or 6 potential candidates), I've become slotted into the "player" category in my high school. Do you think this is detrimental to my success with high school girls. I feel as though the girls that are still interested in me are more DTF anyway, but I'm not sure. Should I be more low key, or continue to do what I'm doing?
High School
Jenya,
If your high school was anything like mine, you'll want to keep doing what you're doing. Before I got to where I am today, my cousin was probably the best with women, and I took advice from him.
He suggested to me that I pick out about 5 or 6 girls who were good candidates and talk to all of them, then selectively narrow them down for whatever purpose you have, and it works.
You've been slotted into the "player" category, but so what? Girls in high school are looking for sex as well, and they're at a rebellious stage in their life where they are open to being DTF. If you're deemed a player, with that title comes sexual experience, with sexual experience comes curious women ;)
If that many women are approaching you in high school as well, it gives you tons of pre-selection and is a great thing provided you don't step on too many toes. Fights can happen over women, unfortunate as it might be.
Keep doing what you're doing man!
Re:
High School is an area where whether you like it or not women are sizing you up all the time - something I wish I cared about more before I hit my senior years, hard to break out of 'friend' territory. Richard offers good points. You would save yourself a lot of frustration if you implemented what he is offering. ;)
Hmm..
Well, this certainly will come in handy..
But i tend to stay away from couples, as i live in a small town..
I have to say sorry though, for i am tresspassing with off-topic questions.
But this bugs me for quite some while now.
Chase, i have a unique, maybe even a stupid question..
Should you hide your boner when you are around girls ?
I hide mine, around family, friends, colleges..
But is it a good idea not to hide it when around girls ?
Would it make me to horny, to easy or what ?
It is maybe a stupid question, but i need to know :)
I have been hiding mine, but i somehow think that i shouldn`t hide it when i am around girls...
To Hide or Not to Hide
Anon-
The general rule of thumb is, letting her see or feel your erection is good to do when she's already sexually excited and you want to excite her more - e.g., in the final stages of physical escalation. Any other time besides when she is equally sexually excited (i.e., she's dripping wet), and you'll be advertising a greater degree of sexual interest in her than she has in you, which strikes her as chasing.
The one exception can be if you are sufficiently high status / high value, and a woman has already decided she wants someone for sex - in that case, it can lead her to decide, "Okay - him."
The rest of the time you're not in that situation, or not deep into physical escalation, though, you'll want to not call attention to this usually.
However... if it happens to you a LOT, maybe what you need to be doing is focusing on getting women sexually excited as rapidly as possible, so you don't have to hide your hard ons for TOO long...!
Chase
adapted missionary
Hi Chase,
during adapted missionary is it natural whilst you are thrusting that the whole bed and duvet shakes forward and backwards?
Thanks
I'm here now...
Totally met this smoking hot woman a few months back - she's an RN that I work with who is in some sort of 'complicated' relationship. She's constantly flirty, sexual and always seeking me out, either by calling/texting or at work.
I feel like it may be in the bag, but part of me is enjoying the 'thrill of the hunt'. She has been somewhat flaky as far as arranging time to spend together, but she does have a child, to which I know is the center of her universe. I almost walked away from it (still might) but I know I'd regret not finishing...
Are you single
You say you prefer not to know if a
Girl has a boyfriend or not but in another article mention that stating your intention early on by asking the question 'are you single' is a good opener.
Can you expand on this dynamic, thanks.
Re: Are you single
Anon-
The article you're referring to is this article by Ricardus here: "/content/are-you-single-why-always-ask-girls."
It's still somewhat possible to not know too much about her relationship situation with this opener - while some women will be completely truthful with you when asked, many will fib, or tell you only some version of the truth, and not the full truth. Girls without boyfriends will say they have them; girls with them will say they don't. Girls will say "yes" when really they're on the way out; others will say "no" and hope you don't dig further and find out the truth.
The important thing to remember with that opener is that it's primary function is as an opener, rather than as a serious piece of conversation. It's used more for communicating explicit interest in a girl, and getting her reaction to you up front, so that there's no beating around the bush to wade through.
Chase
Does these rules apply to
Does these rules apply to married women too? I met a sexy young married chick showing attraction towards me a week ago but dismissed it as friendliness since she works as a teller at my bank. The smiles, eye contact and her trying to ask me many questions were noticeable from the start.
Married Women
J.B.-
They certainly do. The woman rubbing my feet under the table mentioned in the article was a young married girl in her early 20s. Regardless of whether she's married or single, her actions when she's entering into these kinds of scenarios will be the same.
Chase
Her going away
Chase,
Hey man, i thought i note this. I find it intriguing that girls will try to steal glances from me. This are girls with boyfriends. I see them and then suddenly the guy gets nervous and pulls her in to him. I haven't read this article in full but is it possible to get him to open her up and you can get to know her, and get to know him as a good gesture.
As yourself, Chase Amante, i believe you don't feel afraid of ever replacing a girl. Yes, you will feel sad, but you recover fast. So how does an average man don't show this ounce of nervous when other men are looking at his girl or rather acknowledge that such things like guys whistling your girls do exist and you have to be calm and man it up, take her away only when there's danger?
Zac
Re: Her going away
Zac-
Sometimes it is... highly dependent on the situation, the girl, the guy, and the current status of the relationship between them. Sometimes a girl will be open to meeting you; if things are really breaking down between them or she's looking for a way to spite him / an out from the relationship, she may occasionally openly flit over to you. Plenty of other times though, women are following an "it's fine to look at, but not to touch" policy when it comes to sexy other men while out with their boyfriends. The more sexually open she is, the less reserved about this she'll be, and the worse the condition of their relationship and/or the lower her respect for the guy, the less reserved she'll be; the more sexually reserved she is, the healthier the relationship, and the more respect for the guy she has, the lower the chance she'll allow herself on her passing interest drops.
It seems to me you've either got to know you have near limitless choice with the kind of women you most want, OR something that's far more important to you in your life than any one woman is, before you can safely be fine about the idea of losing girlfriends (and thus, unmoved when there's any perceived "threat" to losing them). Without either (or both) of these things going on for you, the best you can do is try your best to emulate what a calm, cool, collected guy without a care in the world would do in these kinds of situations... but it will only be emulation, externally, and if she makes you TOO jealous, your internals are going to force their way through.
So, short term: work on learning how to remain calm, measured, and unmoved in appearance during emotionally trying moments. Long term, though: get good enough with women that you can get high caliber girlfriend-quality girls within only a few weeks of dedicated searching if need be, find something in your life that is your calling that supersedes any relationship by a longshot, or get both of those going on if you want to be able to handle any threat without cracking - because you legitimately are nonplussed to the core.
Chase
Thanks!
I appreciate that you been active here on the comments section. It takes a lot of your time. and yea, the lost of my brother is something i have not mention. :)
Zac
Mixed Signals in a Unique Situation
Hey Chase,
I am 19 and I really appreciate all the insightful information you've made available for guys like me to read who aren't all that experienced.
I have a situation where I've been talking with a girl for a few months, and I finally got to see her for the first time two weekends ago(we live a state apart from each other) after texting, talking on the phone and FaceTiming daily before that.
She had been giving me slight hints that she liked me by little mannerisms and things that were made aware to me by reading your posts. Also, I flew up to see her and she dropped $250 on the hotel and drove me around all weekend, so I got her to invest. The first night I had a plan to have sex with her, and followed your suggestions that you had laid out to the tee.
The night started off great and I could tell she was into me so physical escalation was simple, but after quite a bit of foreplay I made a rookie mistake and left my condoms out of reach. And when I tried to make the move to get them, it took her out of seduction mode and allowed her to think, reminding herself about the internal moral belief she had told me previously about not having sex with guys she's not in a relationship with; therefore killing the vibe for the night.
This was on a Friday night and we spent the rest of the weekend hanging out since we made a special occasion due to the long distance situation. Nothing happened sexually on Saturday or Sunday and she was acting aloof and uninterested on Sunday so I could tell something was up.
I left for home unsure of what was on her mind and now, over a week later, in the time that has passed she has been short texting me with nearly zero emotion or ignoring my texts altogether. In addition, she turned down my offer to facetime, which she has never done before. So it is obvious that something is up, but when I resorted to going "alpha-male" and looking for a response she said she's "been busy?" and didn't respond to my next text asking about it.
Is this a sign of auto-rejection? Or is she testing me with the mixed signals BS? I am really in my head, beating myself up about things I may have done wrong because I know she likes me, but I'm not sure how things could have gone sour so quickly. I thought I had her chasing me and I know she was into me but now I'm afraid I'm getting close to chasing her. Once again, I'm really thankful for all the work you do. I'm aware that this is a lot and my situation is a unique one. I would greatly appreciate any advice and feedback you have for my situation!!
Thank you for your time,
Mike
Failed Escalations
Mike-
Pretty classic failed escalation here - you went close to sex, tried for it, then gave up. What usually happens in this situation is that the girl becomes deeply disappointed (she was resisting, but hoping you would overcome that resistance), and loses faith in you as a man. It's a very fast turn around, and usually a permanent one. Any effort you make toward courting her from this point forward feels fake and like a waste of her time, since you can't (in her mind) close the deal... and there's nothing you can say that will change it at this point (your actions speak louder, and the actions that have already transpired were that you tried to sleep with her, and couldn't).
These articles will aid your understanding:
For successfully dealing with resistance in the future, see these articles:
There's not much you can do once you've tried and failed if she isn't still raring to go regardless (which maybe happens 15% of the time? The other 85%, you either make things happen when you have the chance to, or that's it). However, if you still want to take a shot at it, and can figure out a way to pull it off with this much distance between you (though the distance is a big thing that makes the situation much worse, and made your night going for sex with her even more do-or-die), you can try the second approach from this article:
... although at this point, the best advice is probably to move on, learn from your mistakes, and do better with the next girl.
Chase
Makes so much sense now. I
Makes so much sense now. I appreciate the response brother!
Intimacy without dates
Dear Chase,
I am not at the liberty where my parents will allow me to exclusively date girls or take them on dates. I also found out that attempting to take girls on dates secretly is too much work. I've read quite a few of the helpful articles on this website and I have managed to establish a 'pimp' sort of status where most of the popular girls want me to some degree. I know that the level of achievable intimacy might be limited but how would you suggest getting intimate with girls on campus in a "sneaking off with her" kind of way?
-Danny
Campus
Danny-
That's tough. It sounds like you're still with your folks and they've got you on lockdown... you could try backseat of your car (there's a whole thread on car sex on the discussion boards here: "Best way to work car sex?"), or maybe bathrooms, or a park bench / field if you're on campus at night and can get girls excited enough. This isn't an area I have experience, though - even when I meet girls on college campuses, I take them to their place or my place, and never try to escalate ON the campus... there's just far too much foot traffic usually, and not enough privacy. You can always play around and see if you can crack that nut, though - where there's a will, there's a way.
All in all, I'd suggest getting your own place ASAP, or getting good at screening for logistics and going back to girls' places who live in the dorms or apartments just off campus, if you really want to make life easier.
Chase
Forum Sign up not working
Hi,
I tried signing up for the forum. It simply says "one of your responses was not correct" (they're all correct). Is this because it only comes along with a paid subscription?
G.
Hey, you might be making the
Hey, you might be making the same mistake I made when I thought it wasn't working. Theres an image verification box right before the submit button. I didn't even notice it several times because it looks like an ad.
Humpert, You da man! Keen
Humpert,
You da man! Keen eye there bro ;)
Sex
chase would you consider doing another article on sex and how to give a girl a truely amazing time?
you said on another comment that on average one thrust per minute is a good tempo, but do you speed up the closer she get to climax?
also when you thrust is it best to do it deep and hard each time?
Also when are your recommendations when it comes to talking v silence during sex. I know you wrote a bit on it but could you expand, cheers.
Re: Sex
Anon-
Have you seen these articles yet?:
On talking: your main options are complimenting her, using dirty talk, doing roleplaying, grunts/moans, and silence. Each of these has their benefits, and their times and places - for now, I'd suggest playing around with any of them you're interested in, and I'll mark this one down for treatment in a future article.
On thrusting: you can vary the intensity and depth (e.g., with tantra), and this can make for some really exciting, stimulating sex. As a girl nears climax, however, you'll want to thrust into her as hard and as deep as you can to help orgasm along.
(oh, and - it's one thrust per second, rather than minute - one a minute would make for some mighty glacial thrusting!)
Chase
How not to get friendzoned but keep girls on backburner
Hi Chase,
I recently came back to college and met a lot of new girls here, a few of which I find dateable. I am currently swamped with work and don't want to date until at least a month or two into my semester because I will have a better handle on my work then. The problem is that I am afraid if I wait that long, they might friendzone me. Basically, I had met them once or twice and then after adding them on facbeook, broke all contact. When I go ask them out about 1-2 months later, will they find it weird? What would you do in my case? It seems that maybe not having even met them in the first place was a better idea. Thanks Chase!
Resurrecting Girls from the Backburner
Anon-
Actually, so long as you have contact info, and you made a good, solid impression the first time around, you normally won't have too much trouble reconnecting after a month or two... just keep contact to a minimum in the meantime, and when you're ready to resume with them, send them a text along the lines lain out here: "Check-In Text If You Haven't Texted in a While."
Chase
Time Challenge. How to KEEP her interested
Chase, YOUR THE MAN please guide me
I am now a freshmen in college. Found a awesome girl at the end of my senior year. First girl I can honestly say I have ever had feelings for. I played it perfect, was good with her in bed, and made her crazy about me, even took her Virginity.
PROBLEM: not going to see her till next summer, but I really want to give myself a opportunity to take her to bed again
My QUESTION is how do I play it while I'm in college and not seeing her?
We have been talking even though we know we are not going to see each other until next summer, if then.
We have been talking for 3 months sense we have seen each other and I just now realized there was spans of time where I fucked up and chased her. (had her chasing me when we were together).
DONT get me wrong the talking hasn't been all bad. During this time I have got her to sext me and it went so well she begs for it now. she sends me pics too. She even says how she loves me and wants to marry me haha (never said that while we were together)
RIGHT NOW
I sent her a confusing text say of I think we shouldn't talk until next summer when I we can see each other. I did this because I feel like it would make her feel like SHE was chasing me, plus I don't want to fuck up over text (easy to do) and have her think she doesn't want me anymore
She texted me back like four time confused and ended with something like "looks like you win. again."
I started to second guess myself a little and talked to her asked her"not to take it the wrong way"
We ended up fighting. (kinda went good. how much should you fight in a relationship because I do feel like girls love drama in their lives. When should you fight with her and when should you ignore her? DONT WANT TO CHASE)
QUESTION (please help) :She still brings up how I kind of cheated on her this one time. I don't feel like she cares that much the because I didn't sleep with the girl but I almost did and she did got back with me. But how should I address it so she stops bringing this up?
ANYWAYS the fight ended with her saying "Why do you do this to me Chad:(" and then we made up and she said she loved me
I haven't talked to her in a couple days which she is not used to.
1st day text: (thinking about you miss you)
2nd day text: (seriously)
IN CONCLUSION:
I know this girl loves me and wants to be with me but
Do you think I have a better chance with this girl if I keep texting her using your rules and keep her mind on me
OR
stop talking to her and make her bank on next summer
I was leaning towards the 2nd one!
GIVE ME YOUR GUIDANCE
you would really be helping me out
try to touch on the fighting/drama thing too if you get a chance
Your a life saver,
Chad
Re: Time Challenge. How to KEEP her interested
Chad-
Nothing 100% in this situation (or most any situation), but I'd go with Option 2, too.
The problem with staying in touch throughout the school year is that because you are NOT sleeping with her, she'll gradually come to view you in a very platonic light (lots of communication, zero sex), partly because she's now anchored communicating with you to not doing anything physical with you, and partly because if you're going to spend THAT much time talking / texting / chatting with her without getting sex, she's going to assume you're probably leading a pretty platonic and sex-devoid lifestyle in school... which is effectively anti-preselection.
So, no perfect guarantee that if you wind things down with you she'll come back later, but I think you stand a better chance of reconnecting with her and having things go sexual than staying constantly in contact and NOT having them turn platonic over the course of the year.
Chase
Chad, Allow me to put my 2
Chad,
Allow me to put my 2 cents in as I was in a very similar situation when I first started college, and I ended up having sex with my girl every single time I went home, even if I hadn't seen her for a year.
Chase is completely right, you run the risk of her thinking of you as a very close friend if you talk to her too often without being sexual. However, a school year is a long time, and there are a million and one things that can happen to you during that period.
The key is to talk to her sporadically (like once every ~4-8 weeks or so). And when you do, there should be something sexual in the text *80 percent of the time*. If you want it to turn into full-blown sexting -- that's fine. But if not, make sure she still sees you in a sexual light.
I would always send my girl a text like "Saw a white bookshelf in someone's house today. Reminded me of when I had you pinned up against the one in my house with my lips all over your neck..."
And then she'll say something like "that was amazing. I miss you so much." Or she may even keep the reminiscing going. Because the thing is, at your age, and in your situation, even if other guys do come into her life, it's very unlikely that she'll be as attached to them as she is to you. So it may even help you because she'll think "Sigh...this guy just isn't Chad."
So, I wouldn't necessarily tell her that you shouldn't talk *at all* during the school year. But I would say to her that it's important for you guys to develop your own rhythms and fully invest yourselves in the new experiences that the school year will hold for both of you without just constantly missing each other. I would emphasize that it's not fair for either of you to do that. But, because you do care about her, you want to keep in touch and making sure she's doing ok.
But, never "schedule" times to talk to her. Just send her the sporadic text, which will still keep her on your mind, but won't have you falling into the friend trap.
Good luck sir, and have yourself a great year.
-Colt
Quick ways to make money/sleeping with co workers
Where do I start with freelancing chase? I have no idea how to do any of the things people want me to do. They all want people who have experience doing these things, I don't know anything about it.
What are other quick ways I can make money?
How do I have sex with multiple girls from work circle?
How do I balance it out and not let it get messy?
Thanks Chase
How to sleep with girls that you don't hang out with
I want to know in general how do should I interact with girls I know from different places but are not friends with? Ill know them from school, work, and social circle, but I left places and kept their contact info and want to know how I should ask them out?
One example I have is this one girl, we use to work together and I always told her I wanted to hang one on one but it never happened, I know she loves white guys and Spanish, which I happen not to be. I guess that's why she won't let me get my one on one, I also only see her and hear her say she is attracted to those types of dudes and she told me she never had black in her life.
I never had a one on one with her in an intimate situation, so I don't know how it would go down, but ill go for the kill if I get her back to my crib. Im only talking about her because she texted me a few days ago, just cuz I guess she was bored, but I went straight to her coming to chill with me, ignoring her attempt to make me a text buddy. We didn't chill.
All im saying is she's making it extremely hard to even get her out with me let alone to my crib. She said there's nothing wrong for her to chill and kept asking me why I wanted too, I ignored it and then said she's over thinking things.
1.Just want to know if me being direct about chilling was good or should I have texted her a little before asking?
2.Is this girl really not that interested in me and I should drop it?
3.If she could be interested what should I text or call her ?
4.what can I do to make her come out ?
5. How do I sleep with girls I know from different places like work or school but I don't see anymore?
Thanks Chase
Renewing Contact, Girls at Work
Balla-
I'm not an expert on freelancing - I can refer you to sites like oDesk.com or Guru.com, but aside from that, I'd recommend doing a Google search for "how to start freelancing" and follow any of the free guides you come across there.
If you don't have any marketable skills at all, that obviously makes it harder… however, it's also easy enough to solve; just spend some time developing a monetizable skill set. Check out the No Excuse List to get started on the arts or computer programming.
On work - if you're sleeping with ONE girl from work, there's a good chance of it getting messy. If you're sleeping with multiple women you work with, it's almost certainly going to get messy… so make sure you're doing it in a very liberal work environment (i.e., you're a bartender, waiter, lifeguard, model talent scout, etc.) or you're doing it in a job you don't mind leaving or losing if things get heavy.
On reconnecting with girls whose numbers you have lying around - see this thread on the boards: "Check-In Text If You Haven't Texted in a While." If girls are resisting meeting up with you, look first at your wording; are you wording messages the way set out in the articles on-site - i.e., in that thread, and in articles like:
If you're just saying something like, "Hey, we should chill sometime," that's going to net you a "no" 9 times out of 10, simply because it's vague and inelegant. Women still like to be courted, and they want to know specifics - what, when, where, why. The vaguer it is, the more likely you are to get a response in the negative.
Try out the suggestions from the articles above. If you're still getting "no"s, it's time to delete those phone numbers and go get some new ones. Don't chase; replace.
Chase
What to do when the time comes
Based off my last message..
GREAT advice, I plan on staying on complete radio silence throughout the entire year, until summertime and then text her. I completely stopped talking to her and I can tell it made her go crazy haha she is begging for me to talk to her. Should I give her a reason or can that wait? I saw what you posted in the "check-in text" post. Should I aim for something like that when summer roles around or what??
The situation is this:
I'm in college in California.
She moved to Pennsylvania and is most likely coming back to my hometown for summer but there is not a specific date.
Thank you Chase your a life saver man
I would really appreciate your answer
I was nice and provider guyto her and even now her clothes in my room and every day my house and with other roomatesand I failed to sleep with her.Later we have been in love and it was not healthy between of us and after she is now with a bad boyand they are in relationship for four months. Now, she sleeps with him in my house with my other roommates who I share the house with. So it seems shes trying to pull him from his social circle and she has tried many times to break up with him but he always turn things around with her. Now I have changed from who I was and became to to her more attractive and she likes my attention without deep dive. now she alway pulls away when we almost have sex. So wha I want is how to break them up? I have read a lot about girlschase articles andI feel someting is messing about thithose kind of situations
Failed and got moralistic
A girl who flirts with me invited me to meet her boyfriend. I played the morality card and refused, saying it wasn't cool to put myself between them. I wasn't aware of the "screening tool", and I know I would have been able to stay cool in that situation.
She still flirts, but now that I've refused the screening, should I just accept that nothing is going to happen or is there any way to get another chance?
# 2 - screening tool
Just gotta say that the #2 screening tool part of the article reminded me of the David Lynch film Lost Highway. Chase, are you a Lynch fan?
Nice article
I just found this website, nice SEO sir.
Anyway, I was looking around because Im at it again...
The first time see, somewhere along my strategy got so convoluted that I actually was gamed by the female in the end...
SOMETIMES they will have this all planned out to just make their boyfriends jealous just to get attention they wanted from them in the first place. While she is reading you all of his sad texts and laughing on the couch before banging one out.... she knows she will go back to him... but hey, I'm a player. I got what I came for.
Just wanted to help anyone out there who already successfully stole the girl... I wouldn't ever get the game mixed up and try to actually have a STEADY relationship with her. If she did it with you, she will do it TO you also. Dont take your eye of the goal. "Dat Ass".
Hit it and quit it, gentlemen.
Few messed up points here.
Few messed up points here. Women in relationships are the easiest not the hardest, you're competing against the guy who comes home tired from work and sits down in front of the tv with a beer. It's you at your best vs him at his worst. Any game at all and you win even with a loyal girl(women live in the moment after all).
I don't ever mess with girls in a relationship unless I know without a doubt it's a guy that would do it himself or I want her for more then a lay. If I plan to date her, then no qualms - may irritate the ex but he can get over that.
Chase says he does care about messing with women, but could basically care less about other guys. Sounds like psychopath justification. The woman can ruin you if she gets hurt. The guy can't. Pretty sure that's the real reason, but he would sound like a psychopath if he said it straight out.
Here's the problem. I know without a doubt that the at home me would lose to my public me. And 99% sure that is true for every guy with game. When I find someone I want for the rest of my life, need to hope other guys respect that.
But I digress. Nothing more satisfying then laying the ladies of guys who think it's ok. They seem to think when they choose a woman they are immune. Suppose its that karma.
Sat night went to 2 parties.
First was a work get together. Both of my bosses had their boyfriends there. Socially dominated them both, but refuse to move on either woman. Even with very overt signs from both.
Second was an anniversary party, 2 married women were after me. One found a reason to show me her fake orgasm - in front of her husband - it was their anniversary party. The other kept lining me up for innuendos and following me everywhere - her husband wasn't present ; her law partner eventually saved me. Weather a woman has character or not, doesn't excuse you.
There are plenty of options that do not involve giving up you own moral compass, if other guys want to - well at the end of the day they will suffer the karma.
in this same dilemma
Hi. I can use some advice and i dont care if ill get people hating me for what im doing. Ive never ever pictured myself as being the other guy till I met this girl over halloween weekend thru a mutual friend. We were caught up at a music festival and got lost together and lost her group and we eventually just started making out. Then she did mention briefly she had a boyfriend but damage was already done. It didnt go much fruther than heavily making out all night. I find out her boyfriend of 8 years was long distance the past 2 years becuase he could not find a job in his career path. At this time I thought he was still away.. the next few weekends come by and the next weekend we hangout and it quickly escalated to us sleeping together.. and that lead to several more weekends sleeping together on the weekends. I started having a feeling her boyfriend was back in town but we continued to do what we did.. she even spent her actual bday and xmas with me becuase her boyfriend works the worse hours. She would say how she would have to take care of him financially and based on pictures seems like the typical guy who let himself go.. he use to be a well groomed guy but slightly heavy and guess 8 years later (age 32) he pretty heavy set, started to have gray hair.. typically the type of genetics that makes him seem more like an uncle/old heavy man next to her.. anyway, things started going awkward when I demanded to hang out more with her because I messed up and caught feelings for her after 3 months and she could sense it. and i even told her the guilt was starting to get to me about being the other guy.. this totally pushed her away.. she started sensing my neediness (mainly sexually) and although she enjoyed us starting to text/talk alot weekly, it was actually making her afraid of getting emotionally tied with me while she was still caught up with her boyfriend of 8 years. They have a big set of mutual friends and she tells me her friends see them as an item but obviously seems like she's lost attraction to him.. i use to be in an 8 year relationship but got it over it over 6 years ago so i kinda see the compacency shes escaping. So she made it clear she needs space to figure things out.. thought that was it.. then for some business reasons, we kept casual light texting over the next week and she seem to be okay with casual talk and not us talking about the situation.. it wasnt till just yesterday, i was by her area for work and she knew i was there.. at first she avoided an invite to hang out but then she text me saying she's outside and showed face for like 10 minutes.. she had to rush to a dinner.. i kinda blew it off by getting a bit excited to see her again and felt like she kinda came back around.. it was like hot and cold seeing her.. she would kiss me for a bit, then back off with resistance.. then she left for her company dinner and again, my needy self text he that it would've been better if she didnt come at all and she basically just stopped responding to me from there on.. i dont understand why she came to visit me (was it to test herself again, confirm that Im still emotionally invested in her, or did guilt just fall over her all over again?).. so now im taking this as a leave me alone for good and go no contact as its usually been me to initiate meetups but she woudl usually respond farely before things starting getting out of hand..
i do like this girls personality and i feel if the boyfriend wasnt in the picture, we have long chats at night with no regard and it does feel surreal.. i know its not the morally right thing to do.. just wondering what i should do now to leave hte door open in case they do breakup and shes in a better space and time?
Making moves right in front of bf
Chase,
I like your article and your work. The flirting and making moves on a girl with her boyfriend standing right there could be risky. Even if she seems to be having fun with it, you don't know how a guy will respond or who you might be dealing with. You jerk on the wrong guy's chain and you may be looking for a good dentist to put your teeth back in or find yourself in a ditch on the side of the road...permanently. It's probably not worth it unless you know for sure who your dealing with. In today's day, some people won't think twice about sticking a knife in you because you cut them in line...hitting on their girlfriend in front of them? Forgetaboutit!!
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