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Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

How to Be Social at a Party: 6 Secrets of Sociable Men

Chase Amante's picture

I’ve noticed as I’ve reviewed our discussion boards that lots of our posters are much more comfortable with meeting girls during the daytime, and find bars, nightclubs, and parties somewhat alien environments (although to be fair, there are also plenty of guys who are far more nighttime-oriented there as well).

When I stopped and thought about this, one of the things I realized was that when I first started hitting nightclubs, they were a pretty intimidating environment to experience:

  • The loud, pounding, deafening music
  • The big, imposing bouncers and other club patrons
  • The flashy, intimidating-looking women
  • The specter of approaching a girl only to meet her boyfriend’s fist
  • The feeling that everyone else there belonged a lot more than you did
  • The self-consciousness of knowing all these party people would see you get rejected if things didn’t go perfectly with a girl you went up to

how to be social

Especially when you’re rolling solo, like I was most of the time early on, you feel like you stick out like a sore thumb, and make for an easy target for anyone looking for a fight and look like someone to be avoided for anyone trying to have a good time.

Everyone there who’s having fun – the people you want to be around... well, they don’t need you. You don’t even know how to break into the same category as them.

So this article’s going to serve as companion piece to my article on picking up girls in bars and clubs and your primer on how to be social: the 6 secrets every social man figures out sooner or later about how to work a venue, how to get comfortable in an intimidating environment like this, and how to set yourself up for more social (and sexual) success than you can shake a billy club at.

Why the Status of Women You Sleep with Matters in Social Circle

Chase Amante's picture

A few weeks back, I asked newsletter subscribers who’d been using Girls Chase material to send in details about their journeys doing so, that I might start building some case studies to use in some upcoming offerings and marketing material. I’ve been working my way through all these case studies – it’s been pretty intensive work – but it’s been interesting and reading so many success stories is heartening.

One that I just finished responding to was from a reader in Mumbai, India, in his late twenties and originally from Delhi. He’d been attending a salsa class in Mumbai, and had his sights set on a beautiful young female college student in the class, but had been blocked by her close friend who wanted him instead (but who wasn’t as cute).

So, rather than pursue a girl whose friend wanted him, which was going to be dicey, he followed the advice of a buddy of his and slept with a sexy MILF in the class instead – who rapidly became addicted to sleeping with him, and who then, in order to scare off some of the competition for his flirtations, let it slip to the other women in the class that he was a playboy and they should all “be careful” if they didn’t want to get their hearts broken. As it turned out, this was a great play by her to limit his options with the other girls there and keep him for herself.

social circle status

Because while our reader figured at first this would be good for him – after all, preselection is the greatest aphrodisiac – the opposite happened, and the college girls and some others started cooling off toward him, gossiping about how he could “sleep with her.”

He ended up throwing the towel in on the college girl he liked, and leaving that class (and the MILF... though he left the option open to her to sleep with him again, if she’d get her friend, a former Miss India contestant, to double up on him together with her – no word on whether that’s going down just yet) to go seek greener pastures elsewhere. It was too bad it didn’t work out, he said, but it was a good experience regardless.

What got him in the end here though was the gossiping of the woman he was sleeping with, or her jealousy – it was the social rank of her compared to the other girls in class.

Playful/Nonverbal Openers for Meeting New Girls

Chase Amante's picture

playful nonverbal openerWe had a request recently to do a few more articles on approaching and opening. There’s not really too much more I can say on opening beyond what we’ve already got on here – if you’re in need of a refresher, articles on opening include the below:

... however, one we haven’t covered much in-depth yet is the playful/nonverbal opener.

What’s playful/nonverbal? It’s essentially using body language and touch to open women in a playful, teasing, flirty way – often one that eschews any form of verbal opening altogether.

When you just want to have fun, or you’re feeling lower energy, or especially playful, or you find yourself in a bar or nightclub where the music volume is cranked so high that speech is inaudible, playful/nonverbal can be the ideal way to run your opens.

Sexual Prizing

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

What I am about to share now is one of my own personal magic bullets, and in my opinion the strongest attraction switch there is. The concept of sexual prizing has gotten me so many lays these last years that it has revolutionized my world. I came up with this concept back in 2007, and it has basically rocked my world since then. Thanks to this concept, my life for the past seven years has become better than I have ever dreamed of.

sexual prizing

In this post I will lay down the concept and also the history behind it. Of course, this post will be an introduction, so keep in mind that there is a lot more to say about this concept (which I probably will discuss on future occasions).

If you ever wondered what was required to become perceived as a lover (and many of you have asked me such a question), then consider this post a must-read for you.

How to Provide an Amazing Sexual Experience

Ross Leon's picture

An assumption that a lot of men make when they first get into seduction is that they need to be something more than just a man to have sex with. They assess that women have nearly unlimited options for men to sleep with, and thus that they need to build more value and hold something “special” so women will want them and be attracted to them.

However, when men feel like they have nothing to offer a woman because she already has hundreds of other men clamoring to have sex with her, seduction becomes very difficult. Those men have nearly no sense of purpose guiding them towards becoming better with women, because in the end they just feel like they’re pulling sleight of hand to have sex with her.

amazing sexual experience

This, in essence, is a very idealistic scenario, where inexperienced men assume that women just want sex and have so many options for it that any chance of them getting into the system is futile. So they try to build value in other ways – by being a friend or provider in lieu of the commonality of sex.

However, seduction is a venereal experience. How one experiences sex determines its value. When men have been removed from this experience, it becomes very easy for them to forget that sex is about much more than the physical act. It’s about the experience that sex entails that brings about great value to a man who is able to give the best of experiences.

Getting Laid with Hot Girls Wherever You Are: 7 Tips

Colt Williams's picture

Men are nuanced beings in many ways, but there are also some very certain ways in which men are actually quite simple. And there are a few things about all men that I know to be true:

  1. Men like hot girls (whatever “hot” means to them and assuming that they’re straight)

  2. Men like getting laid (no further qualification needed here)

  3. Men (straight men, anyway) like getting laid with hot girls

getting laid

And yet, the unfortunate truth is that so few men are able to make it to step three. Some guys get laid with massive infrequency and with mediocre looking girls. Some guys are unable to bring hot girls into their lives, and if they do, are only able to do so playing the role of orbiter or solid friend zone friend. Some guys are able to sleep with a hot girl by fluke or once in a blue moon.

And then there are the few. The few men who are able to get laid with a high amount of consistency – regardless of location – with the most beautiful of women. They don’t do so all the time, but definitely often enough to keep the good times rolling. And even when they come short, they have enough core confidence to not even care anyway.

So today I want to talk to you about how to become one of the few.

What to Do When a Girl Won't Go Home with You

Chase Amante's picture

girl won't come homeA reader named Konstantin writes in:

Hi Chase and the team!

I have read most of your articles, and especially those on moving fast and inviting her home. I have a question: it happened to me quite a few times now that I invite a girl home with me, and she gets ever so close to coming, but changes her mind at the last moment, and there's nothing I can do to change her mind back. Just tonight, actually, she was giving me some resistance, but got off the subway at the stop next to mine. But when "our" train was arriving, she suddenly said, once again, that she should go home, and after three "no"s I let her go. I knew for a fact that she liked me, but what did I do wrong that prevented that last push from happening? If you can answer that in a post or an email, that would be very much appreciated.

Few things in seduction are quite as irritating as having a girl you’ve spent an hour or two or more talking to and working with and navigating around countless social obstacles bail on you 2 yards from the goal line.

It feels like you’ve been suckered... that whole night, which you had already checked off as “in the bag”, in an instant goes 180 degrees and becomes a fruitless night.

Most of the time, when you have a girl bail on you like this, you will never, ever hear from her again, either. You switch from being about to become lovers, and possibly entering into each other’s lives for a long time hereafter if you both really get along pretty well and want to keep seeing one another, to being a couple of strangers it didn’t work out with (and you’re some guy she “almost made a big mistake” with).

So what do you do when a girl won’t go home with you?

How to Have Sex with American Girls

Colt Williams's picture

We’ve written many posts on this site geared toward Western men on how to game and have sex with women from various regions of the world. Such as:

These are all great pieces with loads of information to sink your teeth into courting foreign beauties. But what about guys from other parts of the world who want to game here in the States, or American girls traveling the world or living abroad? What about those who want a taste of lady liberty for themselves?

american girls

This one is for you.

The Awesome Power of Tension

Chase Amante's picture

We’ve talked about building and using tension in several articles on here before:

build tension

... and we’ve also talked about defusing tension, often with humor, as well as why it’s good to not be TOO focused on making girls laugh (and defusing all the tension).

But I want to zero in on the topic of tension specifically, because I see a lot of people still not using it right, or nervously defusing it.

The fact is, tension lies at the foundation of power, and when you wield it correctly, you enable yourself to do all kinds of things socially, sexually, and romantically.

Tapping Flow Rate and Process for Scads of New Girls

Eric Reeves's picture

Note from Chase: Eric’s one of our senior forum members, and a past contributor to Girls Chase – and I’m thrilled to announce that he’s recently rejoined us as a regular contributor. Eric’s writings are meaty and dense (he is our resident master strategist, and you probably won’t want to peruse through one of his posts when you’re in the mood for some light reading), but if you want something that’s going to make you look at the deeper layers of seduction and come away with a stronger sense of how things work at their most fundamental levels, Eric is without a doubt your man. Without further ado, here he is.


When I am asked, “What’s the best and quickest way to get laid?”, my answer is – short of suggesting one hire a prostitute – a single word:

Process.

And then I repeat it,

Process, process... Process.

It’s not game, it’s not charisma, it’s not dominance. It’s not even looks, and it’s not logistics. It’s not money and it’s not power. It’s process.

flow rate

When you look at yourself, and when others look at themselves, and ask “Why is this not working?”, “What are my weaknesses and why am I not getting laid?”, the answers given are usually along the lines of:

  • I wasn’t flirty or sexual enough
  • I wasn’t dominant or leading strongly
  • I’m not as attractive as others. If only I was more handsome; had a sexier body
  • I’m not moving through interactions quickly enough and escalating
  • I can’t get good logistics and get a girl alone
  • I can’t get women to commit and not flake on me
  • I can’t get women chasing

The list goes on. Now, I’m not saying these are WRONG. These are good things to think about in terms of getting better at women; the fundamentals.

However, these are also red herrings to the most basic question, and most typical purpose of men for learning seduction: “How do I get laid?”, or for the more monogamous, “How do I get a girlfriend?