Pickup

Commenting on “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”, TR asks the following about girls who appear to like you, yet ultimately sabotage their interactions with you due to hang-ups:

“I've noticed that even though I can have an outstanding interaction with a woman that clearly likes me, when it comes to closing she may still sabotage herself. This usually happens with women much taller than I am, and though I have no doubt that she really likes me, I'm also pretty certain that the height thing makes her a bit insecure. These women consistently fall over hard for me afterwards (lack of control + attraction is dynamite) but they have that mental block that sabotages them more often than not.

Do you think you could post up a follow-up article on how to handle things like this? Perhaps it has to do with setting the right frames, or maybe it's just a matter of letting go and looking for the right girls instead.”

This is a great topic, and it's something you'll run into repeatedly if you're out meeting women fairly often: those girls who clearly like you, are into you, are attracted to you... yet who just won't let themselves do anything with you.

It's a disconcerting affair the first couple of times you run into it. "I can tell she likes me," you say to youself. "Why the heck is she rejecting me?"

Ultimately, the problem always comes down to the same thing: attainability.

And no matter how swell a guy you are, how friendly, likeable, or attractive, for one reason or the other, she just doesn't view you as all that attainable... and ends up auto-rejecting.

While you can't always prevent this, once you understand why it's happening you can avoid it sometimes - either by preventing the problem from occurring in the first place, or by recognizing when it is occurring, and nipping it in the bud before it becomes something more dooming.

In Part 3 of my 3-part series on compliance, I’ll be discussing how to say no to people who want compliance out of you – and when specifically to say it (as opposed to saying yes).

You can read Parts 1 and 2 of the series here:

1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
2. What If She Says No?
   

Turning down compliance is actually an especially dicey area for most. Even for experienced guys... even for men who are naturals socially... you will run into the odd situation here and there where you aren’t sure whether to say yes or no, and aren’t sure how to say no even if you probably should.

Tell me you’ve been here before: there’s a really cute girl, and you really dig her, yet the dynamic you have with her is just that you’re chasing her a little bit too much... yet, you sense that if you let up even a bit, she’s going to vanish off into the ether.

And then, out of the blue, she says: “Can you wait here a minute? I have to go make a phone call,” then turns to go leave.

Can you say no to this? Should you? What’s your play?

You can sense that letting her do this only worsens your position with her and moves you farther away from getting anywhere with her... but you just don’t know what else to do.

I have a hundred stories of me making the mistake of letting my friends cling onto me when out, only to get caught up in their expectations for failure rather than blazing a trail.

Whilst I thought I could drag them along, the reality was that, in order to alleviate their discomfort, I made minor concessions which ultimately caused me to lose my edge (important while learning the ropes).

Fortunately though, I have had thousands of other experiences where I didn’t let people cling, and through those experiences have managed to learn how to handle friends on a night out. I’m going to share with you some of my secrets for surviving your friends right now.

Day game is something that is extremely foreign to a large body of people. It’s an exceedingly rare thing to see a man approach a random girl on the street simply to get to know her because he thought she was cute, which can cause a lot of guys to back off and move into more familiar territory such as night game.

However, as it’s been previously discussed, pursuing women only during the night can lead to a large imbalance in the type of women you’re meeting; you’re meeting girls who appear to be hot, rather than women who are hot.

What’s a man to do if he has no experience talking to random girls on the street?

Sure, you can throw him out there and let him take tactics from paper and try to translate them to real life, but having a successful model to emulate will carry you that much further and accelerate your learning curve that much faster.

And this is why we’ve come together to develop a series that takes some of the best video footage from the world of pickup in order convey our message more clearly; not only are you going to read about these topics, you’re going to see them in action.

Just like I’d analyze a field report on the discussion boards, I am going to take these videos and display them while providing my own commentary below with specific references to different parts of the video.

You’ll get to look in-depth at someone who either consciously or subconsciously does things that work with women – all with some commentary from me that will lift the veil on everything that appears to just magically work.

First up to discuss is a short, sweet interaction demonstrating how easy things are once you’ve got your fundamentals running and can come off as an attractive, high-value guy.

You did it; you took the plunge and asked her to do something... to come with you, go out with you, tell you something, show you something... to invest.

And now, she’s said no.

Well what exactly do you do? What do you do when she says no?

This is a pressing question for men. If guys didn’t worry about answering the “what if she says no?” question, men everywhere would walk up to the women they wanted and address them with reckless abandon.

There’d be no “missed connections”; no “I saw this beautiful girl today, and she saw me, and I wish I’d gone and said something to her.”

No more “waiting for the right moment”... not really.

Because there’d be no fear of looking awkward and feeling uncomfortable if it didn’t work out. Yet, this is not the case, because men generally do not know how to handle a no.

In Part 2 of our 3-part series on compliance (you can read Part 1 here: How to Get Her to Say “Yes”), we’re going to tackle your options for how to proceed when you get a “no.”

First time at a bar picking up girls or going out on a hunch? Here are the three things you should do to optimize your chance for growth... and a few things I would have done different my first time around if I could do it all again.

All three points I am going to share with you will serve to illustrate a deep principle at the heart of improving with women.

Whether it is your first time heading out or if you are just curious about how you measure up and if your fundamentals are good or not, there will be a few thought-provoking ideas to be found here.

Behind the boastful brain and flashy neocortex of humans lies something much more basic, yet not fully understood. Like all other sexual creatures, we are subject to an instinctive, animalistic sexual desire, which guides us through our day-to-day interactions with the opposite sex.

For other creatures, sex is quite simple.

One of our closest extant relatives, the Bonobo, uses sex quite frequently. They do not engage in sexual monogamy, but rather use sex in all manner of social interactions. They use sex as a greeting, for reproduction, and as a method of bond-forming between women inside a group. In short, they have sex, and they have it often.

This is a far cry from the typical human civilization. Questions of maintaining said amount of sexual activity aside, sex just doesn’t come as easily for us humans. We often place value in social status, mating with the correct people, and avoiding mating with those that would take away from our value, rather than add to it.

Even when you throw out any social status issues, sex just doesn’t come as easily for some men. Why is that?