(4) Advanced

Explicit content ahead! No, not really. But such a warning can work as a golden buffer for transitions into juicy sex talk with your girl.

This post doesn’t really contain explicit content, but I made you look. :)

Seeing the headline, you probably:

• Got a bit curious about the content of this post

• Considered whether you wanted to expose yourself to explicit content – you could have closed this article if you didn’t

• Are more likely to accept the explicit content of this post, having been warned

You’ll see where I’m going with this as you read – if you haven’t figured it out already. The reactions discussed above constitute a little trick I’m about to show you.

The purpose of this post is to share a technique that can help you:

• Sexualize conversations
• Avoid resistance and other side effects of sexualization

I lately responded to a comment where I talked about one kind of barrier destroyer. I figured I’d talk about some others here.

Barriers are a spectacular tactic. They challenge a girl you are with to take some kind of action (favorable to the direction you want to move things in) to get things moving. For instance, “I’d really love to get to know you better. But you have this sarcastic attitude toward any attempts at real talk that makes it so difficult.” Use this with a girl you have a good thing going with, and you make her aware of her defenses, and encourage her to drop them (to let you in). Another common barrier: “If it wasn’t for the crowd of people around us, my hands would be all over you.” A girl who’s already pretty into you is fairly likely to start suggesting somewhere more private the two of you might head at this point.

But this article isn’t about using barriers yourself. It’s about what to do when women use barriers on you.

Because they can and they will.

The productive barriers you don’t need to dismantle, of course. If she says “It’s too bad we’re in public and not somewhere private right now”, don’t destroy that barrier. Just get her somewhere alone with you.

It’s the unproductive barriers you need to watch out for. Ones that put the brakes on the courtship, slip you into the boyfriend zone, or banish you to the platonic friend zone.

When a girl hits you with an unproductive barrier, you can feel stuck: barriers can be hard to tear down in an effective way. They put up a wall between you and her that can feel insurmountable. This article gives you the tools to get unstuck, and get past the wall.

“You shouldn’t do this” – there’s no better way to get someone to do it than to tell her not to. Here’s how to use reverse psychology in dating and relationships.

In a comment on my article last week about orgasm anchoring, a reader named Edgy asks:

“Hey Chase! Any perspectives on how reverse psychology ties in with seduction?”

... and absolutely; it’s a real fun topic.

(aside: apologies for my delays on responding to comments, by the way. We’re doing a reshoot of several of the One Date lessons in May + shooting a bunch of other stuff, and all the logistical, writing, and managing prep for that has left me even less time than usual. I will get to comments, though!)

The gist of reverse psychology is that you advocate for the opposite of what you want someone to think, feel, or do. “Do not push!” written on a button, for instance – you can’t help but want to push that button, just to see what happens.

In terms of dating and relationships, that might mean you tell your date or girlfriend to do the opposite of what you in fact wish her to do. Or it might mean you act like you support the position opposite the one you hope she herself will choose.

Before you think this is some passive-aggressive way to get your way, think again. It’s a quite powerful psychological device – and you can use it in a variety of ways.

When you have more than one girlfriend, a few rules are key: she may suspect you see other women, but you must never give her PROOF.

Welcome back to the Harem Series!

In Part 1, I shared the vital importance of Queen Theory, and why every woman you’re dating emotionally must feel like your #1 woman at all times.

I also recently wrote an article where we talked about the core differences between monogamy and non-monogamy: getting bored and losing interest versus dealing with jealousy, respectively. In that article, I discussed how to prevent boredom from seeping into your monogamous relationships. So now we’ll discuss how to prevent jealousy in non-monogamous relationships, and the importance of being discreet.

This article was inspired by something I witnessed one night while in one of the cafes I frequent. I know a few of the regulars who go there. There’s a cute girl, Rebecca, who is sought after by some of the guys, including my friend Rob. Rob has been after Rebecca for over a year, but she’s never paid him any heed, even though they were friends. Eventually Rob moved on, and a few months later started to date a new woman, Elizabeth, whom he brings to the café from time to time after she gets off work. I’ve met Elizabeth, and she’s cute, fun, and cool.

However, this act sparked a new interest in Rob – from Rebecca! After all, preselection is one of the surest signs of an attractive man, and girls are copy cats; they want what other women have. This caused Rebecca to start pestering Rob and his business partner Dave on afternoons while they were both working when Elizabeth wasn’t there yet.

That night, I witnessed Dave take a chance and seduce Rebecca just to see how far he could get. Elizabeth wasn’t there, and Rob was playing a video game on his computer, facing Dave across the table. Rebecca went right along with Dave and did it in her own way; she placed herself on Dave’s lap right in front of Rob while she and Dave were flirting with each other. And I got a second-row seat to the action as well. It got to the point where Dave was massaging her back and putting his fingers in her mouth while she was giving him sultry looks. Rebecca was openly talking with Dave about great sex, and Dave could have taken her out to the back right then and there and shagged her if he wanted.

She was having fun, but she was also doing all this because of her jealousy for Rob and Elizabeth. Rebecca really wanted to make sure he saw how desirable she was to his business partner. Some guys might ask “Why didn’t Rebecca just get with Rob when she had the chance?” Well, it doesn’t always work that way with women. The point of this story is also to show you how jealousy can manifest – and it can cause some extreme behavior.

There are 8 kinds of orgasm a woman can experience. And with this routine, you can communicate your sexual expertise to her – and leave her dripping to hook up with you.

Hey, guys! Today I will post a technique that I have been using since 2009! And it is probably my most successful technique. It’s a real gem, folks! Not only that, but many other skilled seducers I know of have gotten laid with this exact technique over the past year. It truly is a powerhouse.

This will be a long post, but not because there’s too much to remember. I really want to give you every detail and cover the theoretical background and potential pitfalls (and how to avoid them). I’ve also included some good examples as well as good sex talk transitions you can use. Do not get freaked out. That said, this post is best fit for intermediate to advanced seducers. Depending on your level, I will share variations of this technique. I will also suggest, for those of you who are truly advanced, ways you can further spice it up.

Not too long ago, I shared a very detailed report on the forums.

In that thread, a poster named “yash” made the following request:

“Could you go more in detail on The 8 Types of Orgasms? I don't think I've seen an article on that ever on the main site, plus I haven't seen it in the boards, but I would love to know the process for how to pull each one of them off.”

Yash is right. I haven’t shared it on the main site, which is why I will do it now. Last time I posted it was on mASF in 2010 (the pickup forum back in the day where all the legends were made – a place that no longer exists). So yeah, a revisited version is in order.

The routine (or gambit) was one of my first sex-talk routines, and it is still one of my favorites. When I discovered and wrote down my theory on sexual prizing, I had to make a routine based on it. That was the “8 Types of Orgasm” routine. I have of course made many gambits based on the concept of sexual prizing, but this is the classic version.

Even though I made it when I was 16, it truly rocked my world. Girls would go easily from orange to green… and not just green… I mean they’d go straight luck-o’-the-Irish chartreuse! I used it 2 weekends ago, first on Thursday with a super-hot, introverted, 20-year-old girl who did not show me much attention at first. But she lighted right up after this routine. I used it again Saturday as a 1-shot-1-kill on a 21-year-old chick who literally asked me to take her home right away.

I am about to share something juicy.

First things first. I do not consider this technique super advanced, as I pulled it off successfully when I was intermediate (still with a few failures, which you will not experience that much if you are an advanced player – but again, failures are what transform you into a calibrated seduction master).

With that in mind, let us get on with it.

What women say they want and what they actually choose often doesn’t line up. Why is so much of what women really want unconscious?

One of the most challenging aspects of psychological science is how often people say they want one thing, only to choose something else.

I saw this routinely back in my tire salesman days. A customer would come in and say he wanted the cheapest set of tires we had. I’d ask him about what he wanted his driving experience to be like; I’d discover he wanted great road traction and a comfortable ride; and he’d proceed to purchase a premium set of tires with excellent traction and ride comfort instead.

This “what you say you want vs. what you actually want” issue manifests in all sorts of ways in psychological science, too. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel’s 2008 speed dating study “Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner?” found no matter how strong someone insisted a preference was (e.g., “I will only date a girl if she is beautiful” “I won’t date a guy unless he makes a lot of money”), that person was no more likely to pick someone who matched the preference in a live event than average.

In his chapter in The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Generation of Culture, on how women evaluate mate prospects, Bruce J. Ellis unfurls a host of items on how women select their mates. One of the most important things Ellis talks about, though, is some of the paradoxes in mate selection. For instance, much research finds women are drawn to men who are socially dominant: men who dominate their social environments. These men tend to be cooler, more aloof, and more detached. Yet a lot of other research finds women are drawn to men who are warm, personal, and caring. How do those two connect?

We’ll talk about Ellis’s solutions to the warmth-dominance paradox below. But first we need to pose a question: do people actually know what they want?

To be able to lead – whether men, women, or both – you must be certain. And to be certain, you must have three (3) elements in place.

Two candidates are about to give their speeches for president of the Interfraternity Council. The IFC is the board that governs all the fraternities on campus. It controls how and when rush proceeds (the process by which fraternities and sororities recruit members) and deals with disciplinary action.

It's not that important of a position, since at this school, they're quite liberal with control, but it's still a position. And men, well, they like titles. It makes them feel important. They respect them. Women? They yearn for men with position. It gets them wet.

So these two men want it.

The first candidate is the former vice president and has been given the opportunity to speak first.

“Hey guys! As you know, I was vice president for the past year and hopefully have lived up to the duties given to that position. As you saw, I tried to reestablish the philanthropic duties of vice president and actually held a fundraiser, something no vice president in recent memory has done. Also, I oversaw a judicial board hearing and carried it out quickly and efficiently, another duty of vice president that hasn’t been fulfilled in recent years. I’ve seen how the executive board works. I’ve worked with the president closely, helped him facilitate almost every duty of the council, seen how all the paperwork gets dealt with, and have even met with administrators in an effort to better understand what the school wants from us.

I hope that you’ve noticed my hard work and dedication and will do me the honor of voting me in as president of the council. Thank you very much!”