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(4) Advanced

Advanced practitioners have impressive social and seductive skills. Near the very top of the field

Know Thyself: Context, Certainty, and Projection

George Russell's picture

The Ancient Greek philosophers had it figured out two and a half thousand years ago: you should know yourself. But fast forward to today and there’s no shortage of modern men who know nothing about themselves. These men are not going after what they want, because they don’t know their own desires. They suffer from self-perceptions that are stunted or warped, and they can’t be sure of themselves. Perhaps worst of all, men without self-knowledge question and doubt themselves – especially when they fail with women.

know-thyself-2

In Part 1, I showed how failing to know yourself will hold back your progress with women. In this article, I’ll talk about some strategies for learning about yourself. But more importantly, I’ll explain the principles behind the pursuit of self-knowledge. Once you understand these, you’ll be able to advance your self-knowledge, explore and strengthen your character, and, ultimately, triumph with women.

Egomania, the Blindness You Were Born Into

Cody Lyans's picture

We are all infected.

The Walking Dead is one of the most popular TV-series in the world right now. It is a show about survivors of a zombie apocalypse and their struggle to stay alive... at least on the surface. However, underneath all the blood and gore is actually a show about egos and the stress we feel when things in life don’t go as planned (as usually is the case). One of the strongest themes underlying the show is growth of egomaniacal characters in their quest to “survive”.

egomania

The show brings up questions that draw a fine line between what it takes to survive and what it means to go too far. The show is just a fiction, but part of its appeal is that it reflects a lot of people’s concerns and struggles with the question of “what is really necessary?” and “what is egomaniacal?”

One of the main concepts of the show is “we are all infected”, which we can translate roughly to: we are all one mistake or slip away from becoming someone else’s nightmare. If we give up, quit, become a burden, choose an easy path to “survival”, we become the problem for the few left who haven’t.

Are we takers? Or do we walk the line?

Well, for those of you who don’t watch the show, don’t worry, I only bring it up because the topic of this article is egomania, and the famous line “we are all infected” is a good starting point for discussing it.

The number one problem beginners and intermediate guys have with seduction is that they believe they are immune to egomania and don’t need to address it. You think you couldn’t possibly be a bad guy and so never consider that it’s quite possible you are.

Beginners complain and whinge and cry about how THEY are special, about how THEY are the exception to every rule, because they are overwhelmed and surprised by the sheer aggressiveness of reality and how HARD it bitch slaps them into taking responsibility onto their shoulders.

Guys will resort to anything to avoid real improvement:

  • Ask a girl they only sort of like to marry them
  • Abandon responsibilities as a decent dad and become a drunk
  • Avoid women entirely and resort to a porn oasis to get by

Our mistakes often aren’t THAT drastic, normally it is a bit of cynicism here, a few nasty edged decisions there, and an indulgence on occasion that screws over someone you don’t know now and then.

You figure, “Hey? What is the harm?” and you get into the habit of sucking, until one day a responsibility is too big, and BAM, you become the bad guy you swore you never would be.

Egomania is a real thing and you START OFF infected.

How to Hook Up with Swingers

Drexel Scott's picture

I am not sure how many of you studlings are interested in the kinkier aspects of sexuality. Perhaps you’re just here to get a girlfriend, a wife, or get better at the process of picking up in general – and more power to you!

However, there are others among you who like to see what the limits are, explore everything, and learn from experience what you like and dislike.

For those of you on the more “exploratory path”, you will eventually find yourself interested in topics like threesomes, open relationships, bondage, swinging, and things of that nature.

How To Hook Up With Swingers

Fortunately, there is a wide variety of cool sex stuff to discover, and every interesting thing you do makes you a more knowledgeable, experienced, and stimulating person.

Having a Positive Outlook vs. Solving Every Little Detail

Cody Lyans's picture

As men, we often want to solve every little detail when it comes to women, especially when we are feeling cynical (when we don’t try in life). You don’t think you deserve it, you don’t want to hear confirmation that you suck, you just want to stay deaf, dumb, and blind. How can things ever work out unless you hold the MAGIC answers? How can you ever be good enough unless you can prove it? How can you progress at all if you don’t know everything there is to know?

Positive Outlook

You think you are doomed because you don’t know it all, and so you want all the details; you want to have it all figured out ahead of time. But what if I told you, the details will only get you to the fight. What if I told you that the fight you will then enter will suck and hurt, and all your obsessive planning will be minimally useful from this point on. Would you still rush to know it all, knowing it will only get you out of the frying pan and into the fire?

Sometimes we feel so compelled towards our desire for solutions and the truth that we cannot help but feel the allure of being a cynic, at least temporarily. So in this article I am going to explain to you why positivity is more valuable than every little detail about something you can find... and we’ll also discuss why it’s such an important tool to master and practical applications of it in our dating lives.

High Strategy: The 7 Unresolvable Romantic Conflicts of Interest

Chase Amante's picture

Since my last article on the rebellious mind dealt with the concepts of uncertainty and unknowableness – topics which are always uncomfortable for us since human beings tend to be “truth seekers” who want a final answer (hence: science, religion, philosophy, etc.) – I figured I’d delve into a topic normally cloaked in unknowableness today too.

Specifically, I want to talk about the conflicts of interest inherent in romance and seduction, some of which are effectively irresolvable.

There are many simpler aspects of meeting and having relationships with women that are resolvable, such as:

These all fall into tactical, operational, or, in the case of the last three (or a particularly tricky situation on the first three), some degree of strategic.

However, there are problems in romance that are unresolvable because you and the girl simply have end objectives that are too different, or even in active opposition.

conflicts of interest

These occur at the romance equivalent of “high strategy”, and if yours and hers are diametrically opposed, then one of you must submit his wants to the other’s wants, or the relationship will fail.

I suppose I should caveat then that these are normally unresolvable conflicts of interest – from time to time, one of you may cave to the other and give in to that other’s desire for where the relationship goes (or where it doesn’t go), but unless one party abandons what is in his or her best interests, these conflicts do not resolve in any way other than you and her going your separate ways and meeting other people.

Unless you hack your way around them, which we’ll also talk about (a little later), rather than address them head on again and again and again like what most people try and fail to do.

A Rebellious Mind; or, Not Taking Anything at Face Value

Chase Amante's picture

rebellious mindIn “When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To)”, a reader writes:

You have some vague guides on believing certain things as well as some articles on what you should believe. You have some important ideas like independence and having conviction spread out throughout your site. What your website really lacks though is a guide to psychological strength. What it is, how you get it, why its more important then fundamentals (or at least as important). Many of your articles peripherally address this concept. What do I mean though by psychological strength? A great question, I’m glad you asked. I love concision so I’m going to describe it in two words. Irreverence and identity. I believe that true leadership and independence only comes from uprooting everything that influenced you in your past. Deconstructing your beliefs. Consciously assessing all your beliefs and finally replacing your previously held beliefs with new ones. These new beliefs are what give you conviction in your life. You form a new belief in yourself, a self-concept, self-respect, and self-adoration. Finally leading to self-actualization. It starts with irreverence and a challenging mentality of everything and finishes with an identity.
Ciao

I have considered writing on this topic before, but shied away from it because I honestly don’t think it’s something that most people aspire to.

It’s also not something I have consciously learned to any degree, which makes me skeptical of its teachability – I don’t generally like talking about things that in my case are more natural ability than they are adopted qualities.

However, I suppose it’s at least worth having up for anyone curious for curiosity’s sake, so heck... why not talk about it.

Caveats out of the way then, allow me to present the psychological qualities of irreverence, personal conviction, and psychological independence – and how you perhaps may develop them if you choose to.

Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets

Chase Amante's picture

competitive sexual marketsIn my previous article in this series, “Game Imbalance Hypothesis”, I discussed why men moving from highly competitive sexual markets generally have an easier time in less competitive sexual markets, and why men moving from less competitive sexual markets generally have a tougher time in more competitive ones.

A reminder that sexual markets can include:

What we’ll talk about today splits into two (2) things:

  1. How you navigate these more competitive markets with tougher sexual selection criteria when you are a new entrant hailing from a less competitive environment

  2. How you differentiate between a competitive-but-good sexual marketplace versus a marketplace where it’s difficult to find new or quality partners simply because there aren’t many available to be had

The latter is needed is because knowing how to navigate tougher markets is not enough. You need to know if you’re even dealing with a market that IS a tough market – or if it’s simply a locale without much of a market in the first place.

Beating Your Girlfriend at Her Own Blame Game

Chase Amante's picture

blame gameIf you’re at all well-read or attentive on the subject of relationships, I’m sure you’ve noticed a ubiquitous trend: across cultures, across history, in nearly every relationship out there, women wear men down.

This used to be called ‘betaization’ in the seduction community, because it was the process of the male become the beta (#2) in the relationship to the female’s alpha (#1).

Give women time, and they pull this off with just about every guy.

Oh, sure, you see the exceptions – the guy who lords over his domain like a king, with a warm and doting long-term girlfriend or wife (or, sometimes, a submissive and cowering one).

But boy is it ever rare, rare, rare.

What makes it so rare? How is it that women so gradually and steadily work even the mightiest of men under their thumbs?

And if you’d like to remain the king of your castle... the lord of your domain... what can you do to prevent this – and how do you sidestep this taming process that nearly every man in a long-term relationship, given enough time, almost inevitably submits to?

How to Be Respected by Men and Women Alike

Chase Amante's picture

‘Respect’ is a thing we get a lot of questions on around here. Most regularly, how to command it. How do you make others respect you?

The easy answer is, you earn it. But that’s only half of the equation.

The other half is that you demand it.

how to be respected

Some will pay you respect you do not demand. But others will only respect you if you yank the respect out of their gullet with both hands.

And whenever someone has a problem with respect, it’s always because he’s lacking on one (or both) sides of the equation:

  1. He isn’t demanding respect, or
  2. He hasn’t earned it yet

Releasing Your Past and Helping Girls Release Theirs

Cody Lyans's picture

Ever deal with a girlfriend causing drama by just trying to get her to forget it?

This can seem the expedient path, but rarely is it the most prudent one.

It is just human nature that we don’t want to forget the things that got the better of us. We dwell on the past to avoid getting bested again in the future.

However, in order to make sure the old wounds are not sabotaging us in the present, we have to remember that moving forwards is more important than reminding ourselves of the past.

girl's past

We get stuck in a perpetual loop after bad things have happened sometimes, and that is okay, but sometimes we just need a little help to step outside of those troubles so we can start seeing ourselves acting normal again before we get past it.

Girls are just like anyone else when it comes to the past because they don’t know how to address the same issues if faced with them again in the future. When they face them again they will gain a heightened awareness of how fragile their situation is and worry about it.

Most guys address these concerns the wrong way: they make promises, ignore the looming possibility of reoccurrence of the issue, and target her “focusing on the past” as the problem to be eradicated. The only problem with that is GETTING HIT ONCE IS ENOUGH to double the pain when hit TWICE, so a girl is going exaggerate the importance of the issue if it is ignored.

Girls often mention the past because they are afraid that a positive stream of events they are having will be interrupted by the same BS. In order to help girls move past this, don’t make promises, don’t ignore that it can happen again, and don’t treat her memory and caution as the problem.