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(3) Journeyman

Journeyman have been at it a while and have begun to develop major good habits and success streaks as practitioners of the social arts

Secrets to Getting Girls: Make Invites

Chase Amante's picture

make invitesYou talk to a girl on a street somewhere and you reach that ‘moment’. She smiles, you smile. She looks at you with expectation.

Invite her to do something!

You’re with a girl in a bar and it reaches that lull where it hasn’t gone bad but has grown stale. And now the pressure on you to entertain or interest her begins to mount.

Don’t entertain her; invite her to do something!

You meet a group of cool people at a party and hit it off. There’s a cool guy and some real cute girls in the group. They like to talk to you and you like to talk to them, but it seems like nothing will happen with them.

Stop waiting for them to take charge. Invite them to do something yourself!

Invite her, invite her, invite them. Invite people. If you hit it off with a girl, make invites. If you click with cool people, make invites.

If you want a social or romantic future with any person you meet, make invites.

Nightlife Shadowing, Pt 2: How to Disappear in Bars and Clubs

Alek Rolstad's picture

disappear in a club
The whole process you need to vanish in bars and nightclubs. Hide from exes, stalkers, or that annoying guy or chick who won’t let you be.

Welcome to second half of this series, guys! In part 1, we introduced and discussed the concept of shadowing, which can be understood as disappearing in the crowd. It is a technique that will help you escape the social world by becoming a ghost.

Sometimes it is best to be seen publicly (surrounding yourself with girls to create social proof), and sometimes it is not. We discussed the situations in which such a strategy would be useful, and the reasons why.

Shadowing helps you:

  • Avoid female attention in order to avoid stalkers and girls who are potential cockblocks or drama

  • Avoid auto-rejection; whenever girls see you hooking up with someone, you risk coming off as unattainable

  • Avoid being seen as loner (if you happen to be alone in a club)

  • Avoid making your girl feel slutty by making her disappear in the crowd, enhancing the effect of isolation

In part 2, we will discuss the “hows.” The techniques shared in this post will be pretty straightforward and easy to implement, so they are suitable for everyone. And they apply mainly to night-game situations, so you clubbers and bar jumpers, this post is for you.

Nightlife Shadowing, Pt 1: When to Melt into the Crowd

Alek Rolstad's picture

shadowing
Sometimes in nightlife it’s best if you can “shadow”: just melt into the crowd and disappear. In this article, we talk when and why to do this.

Today I want to share an old concept of mine that I originally shared back in 2009, I think. I haven’t really revisited the concept since then, but lately I have found situations where the concept has proven to be extremely useful to me, and these situations are not uncommon. Based on this, I thought you all might find the concept of “shadowing” to be very useful. It is easy to understand and not difficult to apply, so this post is for everyone.

What is shadowing?

In basic terms, it’s the “anti-social proof,” but it’s not something that will ruin your social proof. It just works differently.

I have covered the concept of social proof (and preselection, which is the result of social proof) multiple times. Social proof is the tool that makes women preselect you (i.e., choose you before you even approach). Attraction can be generated as a result of women seeing you with other women.

  • The more women you are seen with, the greater the effect of social proof, and the more you get preselected

  • The hotter the women who provide you social proof, the greater the effect

  • The more into you those women appear to be, the greater the effect

Check out some of our posts on the subject if you want to learn more about it.

In order to get social proof, the following is required:

  • You must trigger attention

  • Be positioned where people will see you

  • Be a social butterfly

Shadowing, on the other hand, is the opposite. In other words, it is a tool to avoid attention; you become a shadow rather than a social butterfly.

I feel some of you may be skeptical already. “Why the hell would you do this?” is probably a question on a lot of your minds. Isn’t getting attention necessary to trigger approach invitations from women? Isn’t it good to be seen with other girls? Yes, those are all really good things – but not always.

I consider it my duty, therefore, to elaborate on why and when this technique can be useful before I get to the “hows” of becoming a shadow. Therefore, the practical part will be covered next week in Part 2.

As for now, let’s cover the theory behind shadowing.

How Women's Tastes in Men Change as They Age

Chase Amante's picture

women's tastes in men
As a woman ages, her tastes in men change. What does an under-21 girl prefer that women 32+ do not? Read on and find out.

As a man, your taste in women may or may not have changed as you’ve aged. I know a few guys whose tastes have changed over the years. Though I know many more guys whose tastes haven’t. I can tell you the only difference between the women I’m drawn to now and those I was drawn to 10 years ago is the girls I’m drawn to now are usually cuter. That is more simply a factor of having more choice with women now than I had when I was young, overweight, and romantically unskilled.

Women’s tastes in men, on the other hand, go through some major evolutions as they age. From between a girl’s late teens to her mid-30s, she shifts her tastes often dramatically.

Talk to most single women in their 30s about younger women and you’ll hear such women pan younger women’s standards in men. “Young women have the worst taste in men,” they’ll tell you. “The guys they go for are assholes with attitude. They have no taste.”

Male pundits normally regard this as a way for an older woman to make herself look more valuable in the dating market (i.e., she is more ‘refined’ than ignorant younger women) in order to make up for some of the lost value of her faded youth. And this “younger women are silly and foolish” frame does help older women do that. But there is a deeper reason so many single women in their 30s feel this way about those younger versions of themselves on the dating scene.

Before we talk about that though, we’ll talk about the different sorts of men women at different ages are most drawn toward. As always, game and fundamentals play a huge role here – the better yours are, the less you need to worry about fitting a certain template, and the better you’ll do even within that template.

Note that the age ranges we’ll discuss below are generalities. Some women may be more or less ‘mature’ than their ages (we’ll talk about that a bit below too). But in general, for the majority of women, you should find these age ranges fairly accurate.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dealing with Core Tests in Relationships

Chase Amante's picture

core test relationship
In Part II, we examine core tests in relationships – those do-or-die tests where a girlfriend hits you where it (seemingly) really hurts.

This is Part II of a 2-part series on core tests. If you did not read Part I, be sure to read that part first. In Part I, I introduced the concept of core tests, gave you a bunch of examples of these, told you why women use them, and showed you how to get past them in pickups and on dates.

We’ll skip the definition and most of the psychology in Part II and get to the meat quick: how do you handle the core tests women throw at you in a relationship?

We will have one small detour into psychology though. That detour will be to answer this question: why does a girl in a relationship with you test you at your core?

How to Demand Respect, Pt 4: Direct and Indirect Disrespect

Hector Castillo's picture

indirect disrespect
Others can disrespect you in both direct and indirect ways. Each requires a different strategy to deal with properly.

Welcome back. We’ve finally made it to the rough and dirty part.

To get here, we first had to accept that the self is everything and you should love yourself with godlike pride.

In part 2, we examined some myths surrounding pride.

Then in part 3, we covered how to spot disrespect in its different forms.

Now it’s time to explore when and how to take action and demand respect.

Always Plan for a Woman to Change

Chase Amante's picture

woman changes
A woman can be fickle and changeable. But why is this so? Science shows us this fickleness is an inherent aspect of female decision making.

Hit and Run Social Proof for Girls You Meet at Bars

Alek Rolstad's picture

hit and run social proof
If you’re already in a chat with girls, it’s easy to both excite those girls and set up backup plan girls… by stepping away for a second to meet someone else.

I’ve got some more great pickup tech for you guys. Hopefully by the end of this year, you will have a huge arsenal. This post is primarily related to social proof, which we have covered a lot here in September and October. And you may be asking, “Alek, why didn’t you just share this technique while covering those other aspects of social proof?”

I have only one answer to that: Well, I just discovered this technique.

Yes, I am going out every weekend – and sometimes weekdays. I am out there meeting girls, banging girls, and discovering new strategies, techniques, and tactics all the time. This means I am sometimes sharing my techniques as I discover them. And in case you’re wondering, I give them 3-5 field tests before sharing in order to secure their validity and also get to observe their nuances. I believe techniques are best served fresh. I hope you are enjoying it.

Either way, let’s get on with it. Note that this technique is made primarily for night game (bars, clubs, house parties, etc.).

Make Yourself the Sexual Prize by Showing Her Your Sexual Standards

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sexual standards
A mighty new way to position yourself as a sexual prize a girl simply must have: communicate exciting sexual standards to her that also turn her on.

Welcome back, gentlemen!

Today I will share a cool verbal technique that will help make a girl perceive you as a more attractive lover (through sexual prizing). It also gets her to comply to sexual behavior that you find preferable.

Yeah, that sounds pretty juicy, but this strategy is not too hard to pull off. It can be used by intermediate and advanced players. Beginners can give it a shot, too, but I believe it is key to have your fundamentals in check before attempting this. I also believe a minimum amount of sexual experience is important when it comes down to using this technique.

This technique is based on the concept of having standards (and how to use them to attract women). Women find men with standards to be of higher value. In other words, a man with standards is perceived to be more attractive. Women find it attractive when a man knows what he wants and how to get it. A girl will also feel more desired and attractive when she feels like she is being “accepted” by a guy with standards.

Note that I used the word “accepted,” which assumes she is the one chasing him and he is the one accepting her, which is by itself a good frame. Additionally, through the use of standards, you can challenge her, disqualify her, and force her to qualify. All of this sets the frame of you being the prize, which amps up her attraction.

Now, if you haven’t read yourself up on the importance of standards, their roles in seduction, their benefits and limitations, and how they can be used to “qualify her” and “disqualify her” (i.e., forcing her to qualify to you), then I suggest you check out the following posts, as they constitute crucial fundamentals in seduction (and posts covering fundamentals are must reads).

And for those more advanced players out there who enjoy using sexual game (including sex talk and other methods based on sexual prizing), check out this post that discusses how to use your standards to make her qualify sexually.

This post will discuss similar concepts, and the idea will be to use your standards to make her qualify to you sexually.

Tactics Tuesdays: 5 Ways to Make Her Not Feel Slutty About Sex

Chase Amante's picture

she feels slutty
Sometimes you go for intimacy, but a girl stops you because she feels slutty. There are 5 major ways to help her past this: adventure, sexual expertise, urgency, and more.

This is an old request from the GC topics queue – it goes back about four years or so. A reader (who happened to have attended my alma mater) had this to ask:

Hey Chase, this was an absolute mind boggling article, gave a new perspective to things. Anyway, recently I went on a date to a local bar, Cafe 210 in State College if you know it. We stayed there had a few drinks and then I pulled her back to my place. I then made my move. I had her shirt and bra off, and then refused to take her pants off, and I tried everything to get them off but failed. She had the vibe that she was trying not to be slutty/easy, and was could tell she was experienced. This has happened several times to me with other girls. Im assuming I’m in BF territory, but any advice on making girls not feel slutty/easy would be great.

You might think at first this is just a last-minute resistance issue. And you can treat it as such. However, if it is a pattern, where you encounter this repeatedly when you get women alone, it’s more than just LMR. The LMR is only a symptom of the overall problem. Girls feeling slutty about sex around you is the root.

If you can make a woman feel comfortable being sexual with you, you will not face this obstacle. Sure, a girl may still resist sex with you for any one of a number of other reasons... you may not have turned her on enough, the environment may not be conducive to it, or any of myriad other possibilities may be the case.

However, if you remove the “she feels slutty about sex” issue, this reason for resistance goes away.

And it should be noted here that this goes beyond any boyfriend considerations. That’s because if she does not see you as a boyfriend, but she still feels like it’d be slutty or too easy to sleep with you, she will resist sleeping with you. And meanwhile, even if she does see you as a boyfriend, if she feels like she can hop into bed with you and it won’t affect how you see her or her prospects with you (and she has no other reservations about intimacy with you), she will hop right into bed with you.

The key, of course, is you must remove the ‘too easy’, ‘too slutty’ objection, first.