(3) Journeyman

Craigslist is a great resource for those living The Lifestyle – swinging, sex parties, and more. There are 6 worthwhile categories on CL, and each needs its own approach.

This is Part 2 of my series on “The Lifestyle”, on sex parties, orgies, swinging, and polyamory. You can read Part 1 of the series here: “The Lifestyle, Part 1: How to Get Into Sex Parties, Swinging, and Polyamory.” In today’s article, we’ll talk about how to find new partners on Craigslist.

An author named Esther Perel has become really famous for turning public discourse on infidelity and the nature of human sexuality on its head.

She has focused on the question: Why do good people cheat?

Esther – along with many other historians and thinkers – has posited that human beings were never designed to be monogamous. While designed to be in groups, we are primates who are constantly shifting in sexual desires and sexual partners. She adds that monogamy has served more as power structure and agrarian vestige than anything else.

Those societies that held chastity as a sacred virtue often had stricter discipline and enjoyed economic and military conquest. Moreover, young women from various fiefdoms and kingdoms were married off to princes and kings of other fiefdoms and kingdoms in order to form alliances and unions.

In the agrarian age, marriage was a sensible safeguard to produce a family that could help a mother and father till land, and produce goods that would bolster future generations.

Thus, monogamy has always had a sensible function in the human dynamic. But it has never been about love. Perel argues that the combining of monogamy with love was a way to justify a seemingly strange practice.

But biologically speaking, it’s rather unreasonable to say that you do not deeply care about someone or even love them if you don’t have a desire to sleep with only them for 50+ years.

And this tension generates the conundrum that a lot of good people face: their biology versus their vows. Perel argues that ultimately, biology has the stronger pull. And so that is why good people end up engaging in infidelity.

And it is also from this tension that The Lifestyle of sexual liberation was born. Perel posits one central question of her own: What if, in love, we could explore different orientations of sexual partners, situations, and desires while still maintaining a strong bond and commitment?

And it’s exactly these different orientations of love and sexual gratification that Perel explores.

In the last post, I explored “The Lifestyle” from the perspective of public events.

And now, we look at it from the private side of things. But before I dive into The Lifestyle on the private side, I want to highlight a juxtaposition that Perel outlines. She argues that in every romantic pairing (especially traditional male-female), there is always one person who is afraid of losing their partner and being alone. And there’s always one person who is afraid of losing themselves in the relationship. It’s often the person who is afraid of losing him or herself that has the stronger pull toward a more sexually liberal situation.

For any guys who are currently in, or have been in, a serious relationship: have you ever felt this way? I would imagine many have.

So a lot of couples are constantly asking how to make sure that both partners are satisfied in a pair dynamic.

And thus, that is why Perel argues that it’s ultimately healthy to explore sexuality beyond just a pair in a relationship. So in this post, I’ll go through the different orientations you are likely to see, and how to get involved in these myriad Lifestyle situations.

The next post will be dedicated to handling emotional hiccups, jealousy, and some additional resources about The Lifestyle.

Little questions with big-impact answers: how long have you been in town, why are you single, and what do you do?

Quick post on a small but impactful distinction.

How you present several details about yourself often makes a big difference in how women receive you. The details we’ll discuss today are how long you’ve been in town, your relationship status, and your employment status.

Depending on your answer to these questions, women will see you in very different lights... as the result of your answers’ impacts on two different metrics: your value and your attainability.

Let me note up front that not everyone will be able to use all these all the time. That is not the purpose of this article (there seems to be a rise in dogma/absolutism recently where guys are thinking everything Chase says is something they have to do always. So I’m going to start including caveats like this more). Rather, the point of this article is to raise your awareness to these details (and others like them), so that when you can make use of them, you do.

Girls bring up feminism sometimes at the bar or on dates. But address this wrong, and you either look weak, or get into a fight. What do you do?

It is not uncommon these days to read about feminism and gender related issues in mainstream and social media. It is indeed a hot subject; many politicians focus on gender issues, schools and universities have been affected by feminism, and society as a whole experiences both the benefits and the consequences of these ideals.

Regarding men’s websites, we often see critics of feminism – especially on websites related to the “men’s rights movement” (MRM) – who usually post about the negative effects feminism has on society and how it impacts men’s lives.

These MRM posts are usually normative and take a political stance regarding the subject. This is not the purpose of this post.

I want to analyze how feminism – and the subject of feminism – can affect some of your interactions with women. In other words, what do you do if a girl starts giving you the feminist talk when you are trying to escalate the vibe? I want to discuss the direct, practical implications this has on the interaction while treating the normative status of the subject as irrelevant. In other words, I will leave the discussion regarding whether or not feminism per se is good or bad to somebody else (for now), and instead share a more descriptive and practical perspective on the subject.

The idea of this post is to cover why and how to deal with women bringing the gender debate into interactions. The perspective of this post is based on the basic assumption that you want to get her naked.

If you are like me and go out a lot, you will encounter women bringing this subject up, especially in the light of important political events, which tend to stir up such controversial subjects. Note that this post is focused on feminism and gender related questions because these tend to be the most commonly brought up political topics when interacting with women. However, each of the techniques covered here are valid for any controversial or loaded political, philosophical (only if it is normatively loaded), religious, or ethical subject. I believe all of these are topics to be avoided in seduction. You will see in this post that my focus is mostly geared toward changing or avoiding the subject, as these topics are simply not fruitful for seduction.

Also note that when I am referring to feminism, I am not just referring to the topic of “gender equality” (which is only one of the many topics of feminism – one that I tend to agree with); I’m speaking of the whole ideology behind the feminist world view.

Everybody says you need more in your life than just approaching girls. But when ‘girls’ becomes your obsession, how do you balance it out?

If you’re at beginner or intermediate status with women, you might be in this position. You shouldn’t have girls as your primary (or only!) hobby. You know that. You’ve heard it from countless skilled guys. Women are most attracted to men who have their lives together, have other things going on, and are, well, interesting. It makes perfect sense to you, and you agree, of course.

Yet nevertheless, meeting girls is still your #1 hobby. It might even be your only hobby. You’re girl crazy. ‘Girls’ is the pastime that occupies your head space and free time almost exclusively.

This is a pretty natural thing to have happen when you’re deep into learning a skill. People who focus on skill acquisition in a hardcore way usually restructure their lives around the skill they’re learning. If you aim to become a bodybuilder, you restructure your entire life around putting on muscle and the gym. If you aim to become a novelist, you restructure your life around writing and editing. Everything else takes a back seat.

But here’s the challenge: what you talk to women about is going to reflect how you spend your time. And if all you do is go out to meet girls, what the heck can you talk about with them then?

What do you do when your girl makes out with another man? You could challenge him, pull her away, jet yourself… but what’s best?

It is an unfortunate scenario when your girl flirts with another guy in front of you. This post will have a very report-like tone, as I will use a case study to discuss this issue and present solutions. I will also discuss the implications of the choices I make in the narrative so you’ll get to see how the concepts are applied in real life.

No matter how experienced you are, you will face situations like these, and knowing how to deal with them is key. Therefore, I hope this post will be useful to any of you who have had, or may experience, times when your date, girlfriend, or booty call ends up flirting explicitly with a guy right in front of you.

Note that in this article, I am not talking about random girls you just met in a club. These require different strategies, although some of the concepts here may apply.

Girls sometimes ask screening questions over text. How you handle these is the difference between vanish or date.

I recently read a private report from one of our senior discussion forum members. It was of a girl he’d met via street stop, took a phone number from, and later slept with a few dates in.

In the text conversation that followed his brief initial meet, she hit him with a few screening questions:

• On his age
  
• Whether he was a student or worked
  
• Why he picked her to approach
  

In between these, she asked other questions. It was friendly enough. But these types of text message screens can be deceptively dangerous.

There’s no subcommunication you can use to make an answer playful over text. No body language, voice tone, or facial expressions to flesh out your response. Things you’d say in-person that would work great in that medium (“I’m a traveling vagabond”) may completely disqualify you over text. Yet just the same, if you are boring or flat, you may lose the girl too.

The way to deal with text screens is straightforward enough. Yet the challenge is, can you resist the urge to be too clever... without completely following her lead?

The endgame of a seduction is one of its’ most crucial points. How do you get her alone, sexual, and escalating toward the bedroom with you?

So you’ve got a hot and friendly girl in front of you at a club, but you don’t know how to take the next steps that will lead to your arrival inside her warm spring back at your place. Don’t worry, you are about to get some practical tips that will help you visualize the process, build your confidence, and get that hot girl horny and having sex with you.

If you have done much clubbing, you have probably found yourself in a situation where you have met a hot girl and wanted to bring her home with you, but making it actually happen seemed like a fantasy. You’re not alone! That’s why I wanted to put together a guide detailing some of my own quick and dirty tips to help you out.

This guide is primarily directed to guys who practice night game, but some of this stuff is also very helpful for bringing girls home and having first-day sex with day game.

Let’s get to it.