(3) Journeyman

Sometimes you don’t want to follow the instructions. The instructions are for other folks, not you! But if you still aren’t getting results, maybe it’s time to change things up.

Over the years, we’ve seen myriad guys come and go who struggle with a specific problem. These guys are among the most frustrated folks we see at Girls Chase. Not only are they frustrated themselves, but they frustrate everyone who tries to help them, too.

You see, what they want is a magic pill. They want you to tell them how to do everything you teach guys how to do – only they want you to teach them to do it faster and easier than how you teach all those other guys how to do it.

It doesn’t matter how fast the method you’re teaching is. It could take two weeks to work; they’d still want to know how to do it in four days. When you finally persuade them to put the work in, they take a couple of half-hearted shots at it, all their dreams don’t instantly come true, and they give up. It’s too hard, they’re too unmotivated they say. Then they want you to motivate them. Or, even better, give them some kind of shortcut you haven’t told them about before.

We’ve seen it a lot on the discussion boards. Some of the guys we banned in 2017 were long-time members who kept asking for magic pills, chafing at the suggestion when other members suggested they start with the basics, then whined about how hard it was and how unfair their situations were.

And I wondered to myself: “What the heck is these guys’ problems? Why can’t they just do the work and quit whining about it? Why do they ask for magic pills over and over and over again? They’ve GOT all my stuff – and all everybody else’s stuff – right here on the darn site!”

Sure, there’s a lot of material here, and it can be hard to know where to start. That’s why we have the quiz and our programs, though. Both of those are condensed information that takes you through a guided process. There’s also the newbie assignment on the boards, which only takes 14 days and a little courage to do. We have paths for guys who are new and want to start getting results. But some guys don’t take them – then not only don’t they follow the paths we’ve laid out for them, but they continue to complain about not getting results anyway. What’s going on with people like this?

Well, as it turns out, a piece of scientific research fresh off the presses (published at the end of December) has figured out what’s going on with people who do this.

In Part 1 of the harem series, we talk about Queen Theory: how women position themselves as long-term partners and jockey for roles and status.

Having created a constantly evolving harem for the past three years running multi-dating relationships, as well as having dated some of these women for 3+ YEARS in this arrangement, it’s time to share with you a series of articles that covers my experience and lessons learned.

So if you’ve been considering such relationships, or you’ve been experimenting with them but have run into issues, this series is for you. We’ll cover all the facets of dating several women at a time (i.e., any relationship non-monogamous in nature), and we’ll go over what it takes to do so successfully and with minimal drama.

To begin, we will cover the first of three biggest concerns in a woman’s dating life. Those concerns are:

1. Catching and keeping the top man

2. Her self-interest

3. Her reputation

Women use the social and sexual marketplaces to advance their own agenda. Thus all these factors are important.

The way to handle the first concern is to understand all the implications of Queen Theory, which is the focus of this article.

A few months ago, I wound up in a threesome with one of my multiple long-term relationship (mLTR) girlfriends and her girl friend. My girlfriend had an event one Sunday, to which she invited me and two of her girl friends. I met her there and proceeded to grab drinks. Over the course of the event, one of her girl friends took a liking to me, and I took a liking to her.

I cleared my intention with my girlfriend before giving both girls a ride home. But instead of them going home, we ended up at my place. Long story short, one thing led to another and we started to get into a threesome.

Everything was going perfectly. I was watching and playing with two sexy women while they played with each other. Eventually, after having our fun, we all fell asleep together – me in between these two sexy girls.

In the morning around 5:00am, I started to feel horny, and my girlfriend motioned me to play with her while the friend slept. I tried my best but just couldn’t get hard. In that moment, I actually desired the other girl, not my girlfriend. Needless to say, I stopped trying after failing for a little while, then went back to sleep.

An hour or so later, I started escalating on the friend, and my girlfriend went to the bathroom. I then started shagging the friend, but when my girlfriend got back, she was very annoyed. She said “ahem,” indicating for me to stop. Once the friend left a little later, my girlfriend and I didn’t have sex; instead, we spent the next hour going over what happened and my feelings for her and the friend. I was forced to handle some drama and her concerns that I didn’t value my girlfriend sexually like I did the new girl.

While I submitted to her frame (honestly, I probably shouldn’t have; I gave her too much power there), I learned how important it is to understand Queen Theory.

Queen Theory in a nutshell:

• Every woman who is dating a man in an emotional capacity wants to feel like she’s the #1 woman in his life. Always.

• No woman wants to share her man emotionally. Always.

You talk to a girl on a street somewhere and you reach that ‘moment’. She smiles, you smile. She looks at you with expectation.

Invite her to do something!

You’re with a girl in a bar and it reaches that lull where it hasn’t gone bad but has grown stale. And now the pressure on you to entertain or interest her begins to mount.

Don’t entertain her; invite her to do something!

You meet a group of cool people at a party and hit it off. There’s a cool guy and some real cute girls in the group. They like to talk to you and you like to talk to them, but it seems like nothing will happen with them.

Stop waiting for them to take charge. Invite them to do something yourself!

Invite her, invite her, invite them. Invite people. If you hit it off with a girl, make invites. If you click with cool people, make invites.

If you want a social or romantic future with any person you meet, make invites.

The whole process you need to vanish in bars and nightclubs. Hide from exes, stalkers, or that annoying guy or chick who won’t let you be.

Welcome to second half of this series, guys! In part 1, we introduced and discussed the concept of shadowing, which can be understood as disappearing in the crowd. It is a technique that will help you escape the social world by becoming a ghost.

Sometimes it is best to be seen publicly (surrounding yourself with girls to create social proof), and sometimes it is not. We discussed the situations in which such a strategy would be useful, and the reasons why.

Shadowing helps you:

• Avoid female attention in order to avoid stalkers and girls who are potential cockblocks or drama

• Avoid auto-rejection; whenever girls see you hooking up with someone, you risk coming off as unattainable

• Avoid being seen as loner (if you happen to be alone in a club)

• Avoid making your girl feel slutty by making her disappear in the crowd, enhancing the effect of isolation

In part 2, we will discuss the “hows.” The techniques shared in this post will be pretty straightforward and easy to implement, so they are suitable for everyone. And they apply mainly to night-game situations, so you clubbers and bar jumpers, this post is for you.

Sometimes in nightlife it’s best if you can “shadow”: just melt into the crowd and disappear. In this article, we talk when and why to do this.

Today I want to share an old concept of mine that I originally shared back in 2009, I think. I haven’t really revisited the concept since then, but lately I have found situations where the concept has proven to be extremely useful to me, and these situations are not uncommon. Based on this, I thought you all might find the concept of “shadowing” to be very useful. It is easy to understand and not difficult to apply, so this post is for everyone.

What is shadowing?

In basic terms, it’s the “anti-social proof,” but it’s not something that will ruin your social proof. It just works differently.

I have covered the concept of social proof (and preselection, which is the result of social proof) multiple times. Social proof is the tool that makes women preselect you (i.e., choose you before you even approach). Attraction can be generated as a result of women seeing you with other women.

• The more women you are seen with, the greater the effect of social proof, and the more you get preselected

• The hotter the women who provide you social proof, the greater the effect

• The more into you those women appear to be, the greater the effect

Check out some of our posts on the subject if you want to learn more about it.

• How Preselection Works to Get You Girls

• How to Use Social Proof to Get Girls

• 3 Ways to Use Social Proof to Be Scaldingly Attractive to Women

• Social Proof in Nightclubs: Jumps, Momentum, and Girl Circles

• Girls, Social Proof, Herding, and Copycat Hookups

• The Pros and Cons of Social Proof for Seduction

In order to get social proof, the following is required:

• You must trigger attention

• Be positioned where people will see you

• Be a social butterfly

Shadowing, on the other hand, is the opposite. In other words, it is a tool to avoid attention; you become a shadow rather than a social butterfly.

I feel some of you may be skeptical already. “Why the hell would you do this?” is probably a question on a lot of your minds. Isn’t getting attention necessary to trigger approach invitations from women? Isn’t it good to be seen with other girls? Yes, those are all really good things – but not always.

I consider it my duty, therefore, to elaborate on why and when this technique can be useful before I get to the “hows” of becoming a shadow. Therefore, the practical part will be covered next week in Part 2.

As for now, let’s cover the theory behind shadowing.

As a woman ages, her tastes in men change. What does an under-21 girl prefer that women 32+ do not? Read on and find out.

As a man, your taste in women may or may not have changed as you’ve aged. I know a few guys whose tastes have changed over the years. Though I know many more guys whose tastes haven’t. I can tell you the only difference between the women I’m drawn to now and those I was drawn to 10 years ago is the girls I’m drawn to now are usually cuter. That is more simply a factor of having more choice with women now than I had when I was young, overweight, and romantically unskilled.

Women’s tastes in men, on the other hand, go through some major evolutions as they age. From between a girl’s late teens to her mid-30s, she shifts her tastes often dramatically.

Talk to most single women in their 30s about younger women and you’ll hear such women pan younger women’s standards in men. “Young women have the worst taste in men,” they’ll tell you. “The guys they go for are assholes with attitude. They have no taste.”

Male pundits normally regard this as a way for an older woman to make herself look more valuable in the dating market (i.e., she is more ‘refined’ than ignorant younger women) in order to make up for some of the lost value of her faded youth. And this “younger women are silly and foolish” frame does help older women do that. But there is a deeper reason so many single women in their 30s feel this way about those younger versions of themselves on the dating scene.

Before we talk about that though, we’ll talk about the different sorts of men women at different ages are most drawn toward. As always, game and fundamentals play a huge role here – the better yours are, the less you need to worry about fitting a certain template, and the better you’ll do even within that template.

Note that the age ranges we’ll discuss below are generalities. Some women may be more or less ‘mature’ than their ages (we’ll talk about that a bit below too). But in general, for the majority of women, you should find these age ranges fairly accurate.

In Part II, we examine core tests in relationships – those do-or-die tests where a girlfriend hits you where it (seemingly) really hurts.

This is Part II of a 2-part series on core tests. If you did not read Part I, be sure to read that part first. In Part I, I introduced the concept of core tests, gave you a bunch of examples of these, told you why women use them, and showed you how to get past them in pickups and on dates.

We’ll skip the definition and most of the psychology in Part II and get to the meat quick: how do you handle the core tests women throw at you in a relationship?

We will have one small detour into psychology though. That detour will be to answer this question: why does a girl in a relationship with you test you at your core?