(3) Journeyman

Despite the trappings of civilization, we’re all animalistic savages at heart. In Part 1 of this series, we’ll explore just how central to humans is sex.

We live in a brave new world.

Our hunter-gatherer days came to an end with the advent of agriculture, which allowed us to settle permanently in one location and call it home. This escape from the daily struggles of travel and hunting allowed us to build and to think.

Humanity gained the time to erect tall structures and new philosophies. These ideas seeped their way into every citizen's mind, and our animalistic natures began to shift into something different.

Eventually, this cohesion of custom and habit we call culture brought us to the next great leap – the Industrial Revolution. With new forms of power in our hands, modern technology was born.

Technology quickly evolved into what it is today, granting us the power to unleash our animal instincts with the touch of a button by sending some random girl across the sea a picture of our dick.

We may live in civilization, but we are still animals.

Our entire lives still revolve around the most basic of desires – to fuck, to eat, to kill, and to survive.

Despite our evolution, we still rely on leaders. We need someone to tell us what to do and how to think. And we choose the most powerful leaders (or at least the one who makes us feel more powerful). This was Donald Trump’s trump card in the U.S. election. With slogans like “Make America Great Again” and his focus on buzzwords like “winning,” he energized his base to feel like winners. Hillary Clinton, while very popular and persuasive in her own right, relied on victim mentalities and moral superiority. These make people feel safe, but not powerful. Whether it's through fear, respect, or love, we tend to choose the more powerful force to guide us.

We only value what is useful. If you are not creating, leading, or destroying on behalf of a culture, you are relegated to the bottom and given only the meager scraps of the resources. At the heart of all this is the “givers vs. takers” dichotomy. Those who provide value are, not so ironically, given the most in return. Powerful people are given passes for crimes and moral indignities that lower-value people are not. Whoever is useful to the herd survives. Whoever is not is left behind.

We pretend to act on logic or virtue, but this is an illusion. We act because of emotions. You cannot “logically act.” It’s an oxymoron. Logic isn’t a fuel for action, it’s the glue that binds thoughts together. You can want to do something then logically decide it’s not the optimal move – if you have good self-discipline – but even that “better, logical” decision is still based on emotion. You are sacrificing one desire that is recognized as short term or too dangerous for a long-term desire that will ultimately provide more pleasure. Nevertheless, the action is still motivated by emotion and feeling. Even the grandest philosophies and most noble virtues are inspired by emotion. We are forever animals looking for the greatest pleasure and the greatest resources of pleasure.

This is what civilization is – a big game in which we argue, fight, kill, and steal to achieve the greatest pleasures available.

There can be virtuous notions behind our killing and stealing, but it’s impossible to separate our desires from these acts.

And at the heart of this grand game we play?

Sex.

Lovers seduce women; fighters intimidate men. But why do men choose the specializations they do – and which should you choose?

I was probably about 20 years old when I accepted what was to me a weird fact at the time. That fact was that the toughest, manliest, most utterly male, intimidating men usually only dated girls who were just okay. They didn’t get gorgeous girls... not usually. They’d get girls with ordinary faces, ordinary brains, and maybe okay bodies.

I’d seen a similar trend in myself. In midway through high school I’d switched images: from nerd chic to the leather jacket bad boy look. And though I was unquestionably cooler and tougher looking, the fevered pursuit I’d had from popular, pretty girls over the previous four years died down. Men, however, respected me more than ever. I’d gained more male respect, but at the cost of female desire.

Fast forward a few years. I’d internalized the lesson that men who acted über manly had focused their efforts on appealing to male measurements of power and dominance... and cost themselves in women. It was a hard decision at the time, but at last I said “I will no longer live my life for other men.” And as I reinvented myself again, this time with an emphasis on what attracted women, I became more attractive to women once more, with some small cost to the respect other men held for me. I stopped being a fighter, and became a lover.

Ultimately, I’d say it was a good move for me, in many ways. Ultra maleness is not so conducive to being a writer or a business owner. Nor is it so good a fit for a man who wants to travel around and network with other people. Taking my foot off the masculinity gas somewhat freed me to not have to be a caveman in everything I did. And of course, the women... they’re much better for the guys who aren’t male caricatures.

Lovers vs. fighters is something Hector delved into with last week’s “A Feminine Man, Done Right, Can be Wildly Sexy to Women.” In that article, he discussed how a certain degree of femininity in men can trump overdone masculinity when it comes to success with girls.

Today, I want to go into the science and the psychology of it: why men choose the paths they do, and which one is actually the more fruitful path to choose.

A pause in conversation is a simple tool to use. But don’t let its simplicity fool you: it is a potent tactic in your seduction arsenal.

Greetings, good people!

Since I am travelling, I will make this a quick one. I will cover just one simple piece of advice that will have a tremendous effect on your interactions. Please guys, do not make the mistake of believing that simple tools cannot be powerful. This is a simple one, but it’s so powerful. This is one of the small details that usually sets great seducers apart from intermediates – they apply pauses in their interactions.

We have many readers here on Girls Chase who have different desires and different goals regarding pickup; some want to do night game, some prefer day game, and others like to work through their social circles. Sometimes, you’ll get advice that applies only to some types of game; however, what I will be discussing here is valuable for all interactions. It doesn’t matter what type of game you prefer, adding pauses to your interactions will simply make ANYTHING you say more powerful.

We will cover the basics first, then I will move into a short, advanced section. By the end, you will hopefully understand why pauses are so powerful and get a grasp on how to use them to deadly effect.

After sex with a new girl, the real exploration begins. How easy is this girl, anyway? But you’re not the only one with an agenda.

Women are like little detectives. They’re always sleuthing around, poking, prodding, testing, to find out the truth. What is the truth with this man? Who is he really? Is he actually the man he says he is? How does he actually feel about her? Has he changed? Have his feelings toward her changed?

Men, you may have noticed, are far less inquisitive. They figure they’ve got a bead on you, and from that point on they pretty much lose all interest in any further investigations. “Okay, I’ve got her figured out,” a guy says. And then it’s settled; he knows who this chick is. Men do this about women they date and sleep with, but they also do it with their male friends, with their bosses and colleagues, with their business partners, and the like. Once they have somebody figured out, he’s figured out. Any other details they might turn up are likely to be irrelevant.

Today we’re going to talk about a male-female interaction pattern that springs from this dichotomy: the “how easy is she?” post-sex dance.

This is a dance that takes place from immediately after the first time a guy and girl have sex, up to about the point where a woman converts to a regular sex partner of the guy’s. During this dance, the male tries to find out how easy to sleep with a female is, and the female tries to convince the male she’s not that easy.

It’s a fun little game, and a lot more cooperative than you might think, because the two often have similar agendas: the man wants to believe his woman is not that easy, and his woman is happy to help him conclude exactly this.

Why do guys so often end up with hot-but-crazy girls as their breakthrough girlfriends? Due to the hot/crazy discount.

Over my years in the dating niche, I’ve become aware of an interesting trend. Inexperienced men, time and again, after slaving away to do better with girls, end up with gorgeous-yet-crazy women. And often get quite attached to them, until they have a dramatic breakup at some point.

I’ve seen it happen again and again. It happened to me as well. Much of the time, it seems to be unavoidable: the less experienced guy finally ends up with this girl who is just so hot... but also, well, a little nuts.

Sure, there are experienced men who date crazy girls too. Some guys have certain issues that lead them to end up with crazy chicks time and again. Or sometimes you meet a ‘stealth crazy’ who was extra good at hiding the bats in her belfry (though you’ll still catch her fast if you know what to look for). But by and large, the “I’m dating this girl and she is so hot... but she’s also crazy” phenomenon is one you see primarily among a.) less experienced daters, and, to a somewhat lesser extent, b.) intermediate daters.

But here’s the interesting part of the pattern: the hot/crazy girlfriend is often a breakthrough girlfriend for a guy... she’s the first girl in her looks class a guy has managed to bed, let alone get into a relationship. After a guy breaks up with a hot/crazy girlfriend, he’ll typically go on to date similarly attractive women to his ex, except that these next girlfriends are sane (or saner, in any event).

Why should this be so? Why are hot/crazy girls so often the gateway drug to the hot girl castle?

Because hot/crazy girls are easier to have sex with and date than hot/sane girls.

Social proof is an exceptional tool to use in nightclubs, but it can be tricky. With jumps, momentum, and girl circles, you’ll woo women in no time.

After discussing some recent changes in night game over the last couple weeks (how nightlife has changed: part 1, part 2), I have decided to make another night game post. I am trying to inject some variation in my posts, providing a mix of analysis and techniques. I’ve posted a few cool routines and gambits lately, and today I will discuss more general strategies.

(And guys, do not hesitate to give me feedback and let me know what types of posts you prefer to read)

The idea of this post is to break down the idea that there is such a thing as night game. Well, yes, there is such a thing; it is all about meeting women at night, sure, but there are many VERY different night game methods and strategies you can employ to reach your goals.

Now, besides the obvious aspects, we need to consider the demographics of clubs, as in:

• Ratio: how many men vs. women there are in the club – a larger ratio of men requires a more passive and safe approach, as more men will be hitting on the girls, which results in those girls turning up their defenses)

• The type of people frequenting the club (the stereotype) – subcultures have different codes to which you must calibrate (think of an indie club vs. a hip hop club)

But the layout of different venues – how they’re built – allows for totally different strategies. Additionally, you can also pick up girls outside the clubs! Our dear Chase Amante has long been a fan of that!

There are many ways to approach night game, and some venues allow for certain strategies that others don’t. Some allow for multiple strategies.

Let us discuss one of the many ways you can approach the nightlife besides the typical “run in cold” and hook. Basically, that’s what I usually do; I go into a club, see a girl, try to trigger an approach invitation, and go straight for it, delivering my best game in order to hopefully get laid. Here I present a different way of doing it.

Women and lying go together like ice cream and sprinkles. But do women chronically lie? Can they not tell the truth – or do they do so strategically?

“I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” – Doesn’t come back.

“I’ll let you know when I’m free.” – Never texts you.

“I will love you forever.” – Dumps you a week later.

“I hate liars.” – Lies.

When a man faces these blatant contradictions hundreds, if not thousands, of times in his life, he will inevitably ask himself a question.

“Are all women liars?”

You would really hate if I gave a response of “Yes and no,” wouldn’t you?

Don’t worry. I won’t. Here’s the bottom line.

Yes, women lie. A lot. The majority of the time. Except only when viewed from a male perspective of truth.

See what I did there? I lied. I said I wouldn’t give you a “yes and no” answer, and I did. But it had value to it. I used it as a literary technique. I think it’s funny (maybe you don’t). But there was a purpose behind it.

Same with women. They lie with a purpose. They also lie by omission. These are their two fundamental modes of truth manipulation.

First, however, let’s go into how women view truth itself.