(3) Journeyman

Game – a male strategy to date and mate with women – is a phenomenon that emerges naturally in complex, organized, crowded societies.

In 2 A.D., Roman poet Ovid published his three-piece work Ars Amatoria, the first two books of which deal with how to find, bed, and retain women.

Ancient Shang Dynasty poems and love songs weave details on how to seduce in with their descriptions of the romances they retell.

In 374 A.D. Augustine of Hippo picked up women on the streets of Carthage, and would share his exploits with wingmen who picked up women too. Casanova traipsed through 18th Century Europe carving notches into his bedpost. The ancient world was filled with men who studied ‘the game’.

There’s always resistance to the idea of men learning and practicing game. Some folks will tell you it’s unnecessary – you’re supposed to just know this stuff. It’s preprogrammed into you. Others will tell you it’s immoral; why can’t you just pick one girl and settle down? Still more men will tell you seduction is a misguided pursuit that takes you away from your role as a man, or from greatness.

Yet despite the critics, this skill set of meeting, seducing of, and sleeping with women pops up again and again throughout history – most recently beginning in earnest in the 1990s of our own age and civilization.

For something so many people will tell you you do not need, why does game keep resurfacing?

Your gut usually knows what the right thing to do on a date is. The challenge for many guys is learning to be in tune with that gut sense.

A few weeks ago, I found myself grabbing drinks with a girl I met on a dating app. She was pretty cute, a career girl through and through. While texting beforehand, she mentioned she had been working weekends and late nights, but she still made time to meet me on a Sunday evening after another 8-hour day in an 80-hour work week.

I arranged for her to meet me in my area at a lounge just a five-minute walk from my place.

I ran a great game over drinks. We were laughing and vibing at a high energy level the whole time; we talked about Fifty Shades of Grey and sex for a bit, I shared some adventurous stories, and we developed a passionate energy. Forty minutes into it, we got a second round of drinks and I started holding her hand. She was gripping back firmly, and we held hands periodically for twenty minutes. Effectively, she was complying and submitting, and I was firmly in control.

After an hour or so, I suggested we bounce and go grab a snack nearby. She agreed but also said she had to be at a friend’s house in an hour and a half; apparently there was some drama she wanted to clear up. We soon left the lounge holding hands and walking really close.

It can be tough to start dating again once you’ve been away from the game. To do it, check your ego, switch off the porn, go out with an excited wing, and you’ll be set.

In the last year, I’ve taken a hiatus from writing for Girls Chase, but the reason I’ve done that is because I haven’t been doing much dating.

I’ve been focusing on other areas of my life and have let my dating life atrophy.

Now I am getting back into the swing of things and I have noticed some friction points that are keeping me from being successful with women. So I am going to write this post about how to get back into the flow of dating, what to expect, and how to deal with internal resistance.

Your silence speaks volumes. But you don’t just need to use it to be serious; you can use it to increase sexual tension, for better communication, for humor, and more.

It’s where everything started and it is where everything will return to.

Silence is the sweetest sound in the universe. It is the language of God in purest form.

And you aren’t using it properly.

In the past, we’ve covered how to avoid saying something stupid by talking less. We’ve also covered how to use the pregnant pause. I also intend to write some pieces on concision and replacing words with non-verbals whenever possible; but for now, I simply want to talk about how and when to be quiet, and why it is so powerful.

A woman’s rules are never absolute. Often they aren’t even guidelines. Once a man understands this, his entire way of interacting with women changes.

Ever have a girl tell you about some rule of hers?

Maybe she says she never has sex on the first date. Or perhaps a man needs to pay for meals with her to have any chance with her. Or she might tell you she never ever cheats on a boyfriend and will under no circumstances date one man until she’s broken up with the other.

If you’re new to dating, there’s a high chance you hear things like this from women and just accept it. “Okay, that’s her rule. I guess I can’t date this girl. Or I need to work within her rules.” You might give up on girls who offer you incompatible rules. Or you may slow way down on them because of this (“Guess I’d better take her on 20 dates first”).

But I’ll tell you a secret: once you’ve been around girls for a bit, you cease to pay much attention to women’s rules.

Then once you’ve been women for a while, you often start to get excited when women tell you their rules. A woman’s rules are an excellent chance to make her do the opposite of whatever it is she said she won’t do, and love every second of it.

Is this immoral though? Won’t it cause a crisis of self in the girl, if you make her bend or break her own rules? Shouldn’t you respect women’s rules?

No, and for one reason: women aren’t men. And what constitutes a ‘rule’ for her is very different from what constitutes a ‘rule’ for you.

You can’t always be talking non-stop with her. So when it’s your turn to listen to a girl, how do you do so in a seductive way?

After sharing 8 long, detailed articles on sexual tension and closing it all off with an illustrative report, I originally planned to move on to another topic. But apparently – and this was kind of expected – some of you guys brought up some good questions that need answering.

I also stated in my last post on sexual tension that, even though I kind of closed off the project, I would share more insights if something popped up. Well, your good questions have made those “insights” pop up, so thanks again to all of you reading and leaving questions. Your contributions not only make my task as a writer easier, they also ensure my posts actually fit the audience’s desires. Win-win indeed. So thank you again, guys.

A commentator named Mike asked the following question:

“Hey there Alek, really great article. This kind of reports help tremendously much to show sometimes a bit abstract sounding ideas and techniques in an actual motion.

I got a question: could you elaborate a little more on the topic of seductive listening? I'm not sure I understand that concept correctly. You state that just sitting and nodding isn’t sexy at all. But from the next paragraph where you actually describe your seductive listening thing, it basically sounds the same as just listening and nodding to me, just in a lesser frequency. What’s the difference between those two? How do you execute this without coming out as not really giving shit about what she has to say? Thanks!”

In my report, I did use the technique called “seductive listening.” I haven’t written any posts specifically about this subject, as I thought the report would be enough, but I can now see that I was wrong, so I will dedicate this post to this subject by clarifying what it means to be a seductive listener.

Before I begin, I want to give all credit to 60 Years of Challenge, the pioneer of this technique.

While women present themselves as reserved angels, the truth is they’re naughty little sexual imps – more so than most men.

Hey team, I know it’s been a little while. I hope you all have been doing well in my absence.

I have been having a lot of conversations lately about sexuality. And today I want to talk about something that very often surprises men who don’t have very much experience with women – and it still surprises some men who do!

It’s the fact that women are far dirtier, hornier, and more sexual than you could ever believe.

I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by a lot of women in my time, some of whom I’ve been romantically involved with and many of whom I haven’t. Some have been absolute bombshells, and some haven’t (though still attractive for the most part).

But the incredible gift and advantage of my situation has been that I’ve been able to glean a lot of perspectives on life, sex, and romance straight from the horse’s mouth.

It’s funny how honest a girl will be with you if you create an environment in which she knows you aren’t going to judge her. And if you have a few women in your life with whom you don’t have any sexual interest or chemistry, then she will feel comfortable being that much more honest.

So I want to share with you five statements that I’ve heard from countless women at different points in time about their kind – some of which have even surprised me.

I have found most of these statements to be applicable to nearly all of the women I’ve talked to at one point or another. However, there is a very important caveat to these statements that I will talk about after I share them with you.

And you *must* remember the caveat in order to get anything useful from this article.

Here we go.