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(3) Journeyman

Journeyman have been at it a while and have begun to develop major good habits and success streaks as practitioners of the social arts

The Easiest Way to Get a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to get a girl to be your girlfriend
You may think you have to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. But there’s an easier way to get a girl to be your girlfriend than this. It centers on behavior over words.

You’ve got a girl you’re into, and you’d like to get her to be your girlfriend. The time you spend together is great. You think about her all the time when you’re not with her. And you know she likes you too. But... does she like you enough to be your girlfriend?

You’d like to know how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in a way that minimizes the chance she rejects you. You don’t want her to say “no” or “let’s keep this casual for now.” So what do you do?

Most of the advice you’ll see out there will tell you to ask her outright at some point. “Just ask!” or “Just pop the question!” But this advice misunderstands a simple fact about the way girls work: the emotions and behavior must come first... the words come later.

This article works within that framework – one where you get the emotions and behavior right first, and add the words (and official boyfriend-girlfriend status) in after.

Follow the simple steps below, and you stand a very good chance to turn the girl you’d like to be your girlfriend into a girl who is your girlfriend.

Female Morality: 5 Different Moral Perspectives

Alek Rolstad's picture

women's morality
Morality is a varied field, and we can view women’s morality in quite different ways... depending on which of 5 branches of morality we use.

Note: this article is part of a discussion on female morality among experts who view the subject through different lenses. In this article, Part 3, Alek Rolstad introduces five different moral paradigms that can be used to view female morality.

Hey, guys. I am aware that I don’t usually discuss theoretical stuff that is not directly related to the field, but I decided to take some liberties today.

Recently, Hector Castillo wrote a post on “women not caring about morality” that some of you may have loved, hated, loved to hate, or hated to love. There is no doubt that subjects related to morality may be seen as controversial, triggering a variety of feelings in different people. Chase also weighed in on the subject with his own article in response to the heated debate brewing in Hector’s comments section.

In regards to ethics and the philosophy of morality, there is no such thing as full-blown truth. Ethics is a subfield of philosophy, meaning it is less likely to contain the types of truths you’d find in science – as philosophy is not science. Philosophy is the process of discovering truth, and for this reason, we have decided, in light of good old Socratic tradition, to learn through debate. By presenting multiple takes on the matter (Hector, Chase, and now me – so far), we hope to give you more arguments to fuel your reflections and hopefully contribute to your reaching a (more) solid conclusion – if you ever reach one at all.

What Hector points out (that descriptive ethics is more fact based compared to normative ethics) is very true. However, there is still some normativity within descriptive ethics. As mentioned, descriptive ethics devotes itself more to “how people act” rather than “how people should act” – the latter going into the field of normativity. However, in order to discuss how people actually act (what kind of moral sentiments and drives they possess), we need to define one of the key variables. Namely, what is “morality”? If we want to discuss the observed morality of women, how we define morality will have a key impact on our discussion.

Now, how we define this variable will have a crucial impact on our observations. This is where my critique mainly flourishes.

I will cover my criticism step by step, and like Hector, I will add references to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, which is considered a very credible source. This way, you can read more on the different theories if you happen to find this interesting.

Before I get to my arguments, I do want to make it deadly clear that there are no rights and wrongs – only good arguments. Hopefully, my arguments will be as convincing as Hector’s and, in the end, help you solidify you own.

Girls Who Seek Attention, Part II: How to Pick Them Up

Alek Rolstad's picture

female attention
Just because she’s a flighty, flirty attention seeker doesn’t mean she can’t be gotten. You just need to switch up your approach to get her a bit.

Welcome back, guys. This is a follow up to last week’s post where we covered the psychology and the underlying factors of female attention-seeking behavior. Part 1 covered all the whys, and is therefore recommended reading before this article. This post will be less theoretical and more practical, covering how to deal with female attention seekers – and actually manage to bed them. So this is a more technical post.

Fun fact: October and September have been months where I have encountered this type of girl in clubs and managed to successfully bed them.

  • I have had 2 recent cases where the strategies covered in this post were implemented. In those cases, I managed to smoothly and successfully bang both girls.

  • There was an additional case where I did not apply the strategies covered in this post. In fact, I tried doing something else. It did not work and I failed at pulling. So I’ll use this girl as a sort of “control group” in order to find correlations and identify the effects of the techniques presented here and how they help with attention seekers.

Now, I know some of you guys like to get outright scientific about stuff like this. And I realize that 3 cases may not be a very representative selection, sure. However, to my defense, I have had many similar experiences in the past (been doing this for 10 years) that more or less reflect the same pattern as what we’ll be discussing. This post is based on my overall observations, using those 3 cases to best exemplify the techniques, which seem to work out pretty fine if you ask me.

Without any further ado, let us get into it. The strategies presented in this post are inspired by the old-school seducer Swinggcat and his book Real World Seduction.

Women Do Not Care About Morality

Hector Castillo's picture

female morality
Female morality revolves around one central tenet: is this good for her sexual strategy? If yes, do it / agree with it / subscribe to it. If no, don’t.

Note: this article is part of a discussion on female morality among experts who view the subject through different lenses. In this article, Part 1, Hector Castillo discusses the perspective of women as existing outside what we typically think of as morality.

Defining morality is tough. Even the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, which begins with a statement about how it’s simple to define, winds up incorporating an entire dissertation on the various details that go into defining morality.

This particular comment from the entry jumped out at me:

This is strikingly illustrated by the fact that both C.H. Whiteley and Neil Cooper took themselves to be revealing the important ambiguity in the meaning of “morality” when they distinguished the sociological sense from the psychological (Whiteley 1959) and the social sense from the individual (Cooper 1966).

This perfectly sets up the context of this article on the amoral nature of women.

Let me be clear. I’m not arguing that women don’t have moral standards. Of course they do. Even sociopaths have a moral framework, though it is devoid of sympathy and concern for others if it doesn’t also benefit them.

The most basic definition of normative morality is “what a person ought to do.”

The operative word here is “ought.”

For many people, their “ought to do X” revolves around duty. This is called duty ethics, for obvious reasons. “My family, my tribe, or my culture demands that I do X, thus X is my duty.” Of course, at some level they have to accept this duty, but this is meta-ethics, and a digression.

Others argue that we should be utilitarian, that our actions should benefit the greater happiness of society. This might also be classified as a duty ethic.

For some moral frameworks, morality is absolute. In others, it is relative. In some scenarios, you should act according to “good,” in others, you should act for yourself, even if it means doing something “bad.”

The usual response to this is some pseudo-intellectual form of “Well, who can define good and bad, huh? It might be bad to one person but good to another,” and it’s left there without an actual foray into meta-ethics.

This response, if anything, is an implication of normative moral relativism, which states that “Because we can’t come up with a good definition of good and bad, we should tolerate everyone’s definitions.”

How that works out in practice, you can judge for yourself.

Fortunately, this isn’t an article on normative or applied ethics. It’s an article about descriptive ethics.

I am describing the observed amorality of women. Nothing more, nothing less.

What you do with this information is up to you. Any anger or spite you may cultivate as a result of this article is your responsibility alone. If anything, I respect women for their savagery. They may not be as violent as men, but they can sure inspire violence, socially and physically. If you want to truly become a lover of women, you need to understand and accept the amoral nature of women. Any remnant of false idealism, and you are loving a false ideal of women, not women themselves.

Let us begin.

Should You Regularly Ping Text Girls Who've Eluded Your Dates?

Chase Amante's picture

ping girls for dates
If she eludes your dates, it can feel tempting to ping her regularly to make sure she doesn’t forget you. Yet there are better follow-up strategies than this.

A reader writes in:

Chase,

First off, I really value your dating advice; it’s rooted in logic and psychology and that’s how I operate.  It resonates in a big way with me.

So my scenario/question...

There is this one girl.

I’ve known her for about 2 years, but we never hooked up because one of us has always been in a relationship.  I own an organic juice bar and she actually came into the store the other day.  Attraction was definitely strong and she extended her number to me.

We went on a date a few days later; local, food, drinks and just established rapport and comfort.  Of course my end game was to get intimate with her, but it didn’t happen.  I was sort of bummed.  No good night kiss?  I can’t remember the last time that happened.  After the date we texted and I asked if I could call her and I did.  We basically stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours, sort of continuing the date convo.

I asked her on the phone, “Why no kiss?”.  She mentioned that she is shy, that she is attracted to me, the fact that I was on antibiotics for strep throat (day 6) bothered her a bit.  We also talked about how she is a bit messed up from an ex and that recently, she was actually falling for someone hard and chased him but it didn’t work out because he doesn’t want a girlfriend.

I’ve been trying to set up date 2 but it hasn’t happened yet.  I’m just keeping the texts short, direct, nonchalant, non predictable non needy, etc.

I really think she is just hung up on this guy (the one she was recently intimate with and doesn’t want a girlfriend) and after some time I’ll be able to meet her again and put the moves on her.  I’m confident once we’re intimate she will be chasing me.

However, I am by no means not seeing other girls.  I always keep about 3-4 in the rotation so I’m not lonely on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night.

MY QUESTION – Texting is such low effort as is Instagram and DM and things of that nature.  Is it ok to use these methods once in awhile to keep a “girl in the loop”?  I feel that timing is everything sometimes and this may be a method to grab her attention at the most opportune time.  What are your thoughts on this?  I’m not sitting home pining over her.  I just feel like the end goal is so close within reach and don’t want to completely give up.  If this is a viable method for achieving my end goal what would you recommend?  Frequency, context, things of that nature?

Thanks you for you time!

This is a great question. You get some progress with a girl, it feels like it’s close, but then it doesn’t happen. She doesn’t come out on dates, but she still responds to your messages.

So the question is: do you ping her from time to time to see if she’s available and changed her mind? Or do you not? And if you do, how often?

How to Pick Up Girls from 2-Sets (or Pairs) Without a Wingman

Alek Rolstad's picture

pick up 2-set
Two girls is one of the most common girl groups you’ll encounter out and about. But peeling one girl off can be tricky – she may not want to leave her friend.

Today I will discuss a subject that may not initially be of huge interest, but once you end up in a situation where you will have to deal with the issue presented, I am sure you will be glad for having this post available to you.

This post will be about dealing with “2-sets” (a pair of two girls). Mind you that the discussion will be about managing to actually pull from this type of set without a wingman. If you have a wingman, and he is either good with women or the stars happen to align, he may hook up with her friend, but that is not always doable. You may not have a wing, or he may be busy with another girl, or perhaps you do have a wing but he is either totally useless or simply not hooking well with the girls in question.

In which case, you are on your own.

Before I get to the technicalities, let us just discuss some preliminary ideas that I believe we should cover first.

And this post will cover this exact situation. It is a pretty tough situation to deal with, so I hope my advice will increase your odds of succeeding. However, do not expect this to go smooth like butter – it never will – because women, unless you are lucky and meet up with two independent women (usually older women), will usually stick to their friend, especially if the friend will end up being alone if she comes with you, which can actually ruin her friendship and put her friend in potential danger. Women are far more risk-averse than men.

In a nutshell: if your girl leaves with you, who is going to take care of her friend?

That’s a tricky one.

Tactics Tuesdays: Kisses for Good Behavior

Chase Amante's picture

cheek kiss reward
When a girl does something good, you can reward her with a cheek kiss… and open up the floodgates of romantic and sexual potential.

This is a fun little tactic I’ve employed over the years that does a lot of good things for you.

The tactic is simple: when she does something you like, give her a peck on the cheek, neck, shoulder, or lips.

There’s a little nuance to it, because the power of the kiss will be tied to the level of investment she gives you. The bigger the investment, the weightier the kiss. The lesser the investment, the lesser the kiss.

I’m going to do a quick section to tell you why this is good. And then I’ll give you a few examples of how and where you’d use it.

3 Ways to Use Social Proof to Be Scaldingly Attractive to Women

Alek Rolstad's picture

social proof pickup
Social proof is one of the most reliable ways to make yourself a total girl magnet. Best of all, there are 3 different ways to get it.

Hey, guys. Today, for the sake of variation, I will take a step back from the predominantly tactical posts (don’t worry, more tactical stuff is coming) and discuss a more theoretical aspect of seduction. Theoretical posts can be useful, as they can help you “make sense” of things and expand your understanding, which can have a practical impact. So, despite this post being mostly theoretical, you will discover there is an underlying practical touch to it.

Either way, today’s subject will be social proof. This subject has been discussed many times here (and sometimes also calledpreselection’), so I will not include an introduction. But overall, social proof in the context of pickup and seduction is one of the many elements that causes women to preselect men by observing them around other women and seeing they are desired by other women. We are more likely to like what others also like, right? In many cases this is true. And women, who are more prone to submit to group pressure and follow the pack, are much more affected by this mechanism than us guys.

The overall idea here is simple: you create attraction by being seen with other women.

Social proof is nothing new to the world of dating, pickup, and seduction. The effects have been discussed to death. How to generate social proof has also been discussed, although there is more to be said about this, I am sure. In this post, I want to present a new framework that can help us expand the notion of social proof in pickup and seduction. I think our current view and definition of social proof is oversimplified. I here present 3 categories of social proof, each with unique aspects that unfold differently and can be driven by different means.

I will discuss each category and how it is achieved. Ultimately, this framework should broaden your understanding of the concept, how it works, and how you can use it. I’ll also provide guidelines on how you can achieve social proof in the way you find most exciting and comfortable.

The three categories we will discuss:

  • Explicit Social Proof

  • Implicit Social Proof

  • Tacit Social Proof

3 Sex Gambits: Good/Bad Sex, Sex is Unfair, and the Dark Side

Alek Rolstad's picture

sex gambit
Use these 3 sex gambits in conversation with women you meet to put their minds squarely on sex… in a very good way.

Hey, guys. I hope you are doing great.

Today I decided it was time to get practical again and share some very simple techniques that will allow you to achieve so much – and be easy to pull off. Intermediate players should have few problems pulling these off, and beginners (as long as you are comfortable enough to keep a conversation going with a girl) should also be able to make some of these techniques work.

Now, just as every other technique I have shared in the past, these serve as examples. Yes, you may use the techniques shared more or less word by word – they have all been tested multiple times with great success – but the key thing is to understand the underlying principles and use those techniques as inspiration for your own material. If you want to use a technique as presented, that’s up to you, but I think it is key to understand the underlying concepts no matter what.

The techniques I am about to share will follow more or less similar structures and principles (I will cover all of them in a minute), and they should help you keep the conversation going – a conversation that:

Sound good? Let’s get on with it.

A Day in the Life of the 21st Century Woman

Chase Amante's picture

a day in the life of a woman
What’s a normal day look like for a regular girl? Work, friends, gym, guys – lots of guys, of all kinds – and that’s just the start.

Monica’s phone alarm goes off. It’s 7:00 AM. “Ugh,” she groans. She stayed up too late to watch that stupid show again. It always seems like a great idea when she’s into it. And then it seems like dumbest, most vapid thing ever when she wakes up sleep deprived the next day. She slides her finger across the phone screen to disable the alarm, and rolls out of bed.

She shambles over to the bathroom, yanks her panties down, and plops down onto the seat. Pee hisses out. She feels relieved. She gives a few wipes, flushes the toilet, and gets up to go into the kitchen.

Breakfast... should she or shouldn’t she? She stares into her cupboard. She’s skipped it every other morning this week so far. “No breakfast” is part of her master plan to shed this light extra layer of blubber that’s crept onto her waistline. Nobody else seems to have realized she isn’t super super skinny anymore yet, but she’s realized it. Hunger overrules the desire to drop a few pounds and she pours herself a bowl of cereal. Well, at least it’s healthy cereal, she reasons. She munches on her breakfast at the table while she reads on her phone.

Looks like normal drama on her social media today. That crazy single mother Abigail in her network had posted another two-paragraph self-justification dressed up as life advice. This time she’d posted about how life is all about experience and travel and not being held back from going for the man you want. That got her a slew of likes and praise (“SO TRUE!”)... until Maria couldn’t help herself and weighed in: “That’s maybe also why 2 kids, 2 dads, still single though, right? #lifechoices.” The comments on the post exploded after that. Monica snorts out a laugh. Maria is her workmate who never held her tongue (or her punches). About 90% of the comments under Maria’s remark are other women scolding her. But Monica knows most of those women secretly hold opinions closer to Maria than to Abigail. She thinks about clicking ‘Like’ on Maria’s post, then decides she doesn’t need to get involved in that debacle.

After breakfast, she puts her bowl, spoon, and glass in the sink. There are a few days’ worth of dishes in there. Gotta clean those before they start to attract bugs, she thinks. She quick washes any milk and crumbs out of the bowl, then leaves it for a proper wash later.

She puts her hair up in a bun and takes a quick shower, using the handheld showerhead to rinse. She spends a little too long with the shower jet aimed at her clitoris. Then she moves down and rinses her legs. She gives herself a quick scrub with some soap and a pouf, then another rinse, then it’s out of the shower. She dresses herself in a neat, tidy little business-y outfit, brushes her teeth, does her hair, and grabs her purse and her duffle bag with gym clothes, then it’s out the door and off to work.