Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success
Do women not notice you’re there? Are you… invisible to women? If so, there are a few key reasons why. And the solutions are not as hard as you might think.I spent most of my teens and early twenties alone and depressed.
The one constant thought in my mind, the biggest source of despair, was over how invisible I was to women.
You can’t always avoid a frame war. If you find yourself in one, you’re going to use one of these tactics to come out the winner.Hey guys and welcome back!
In my last two posts, we discussed frame wars. The first explained what frame wars are (they happen quite frequently, especially in night game). The second post outlined some preventive measures to help you avoid frame war agony since prevention is the best cure.
Frame wars occur when a girl tries to wrestle the meta-frame away from you and switch things from her chasing you back to you chasing her. Whoever holds the frame is considered the prize.
She may try to steal the frame because:
Society has programmed her to believe she is the prize
When men chase, her ego is satisfied
It makes her look good socially and bad if she chases you
But it can also be due to her simply wanting you badly, and the best way to get you (and rightfully so) is to make you chase.
The problem is that the moment you start chasing, you fall into her frame, which means that she will be in charge of the interaction. This goes against her idea of you as a dominant man, which she finds attractive. It also means she will be framed as higher value than you. It is problematic since women tend to fall for higher-value males. Also, you will satisfy her ego, and when she is satisfied, she will have nothing left to gain from you and will be able to comfortably move on, so you will lose her.
In my last post, I suggested that you avoid overusing meta-framing techniques such as:
Push/pull (showing mixed signals)
Disqualifiers (disqualifying her to make her chase)
Jealousy plots (making her jealous)
All are rapport-breaking techniques. What is wrong with rapport-breaking techniques? They push you away from each other when you should be moving closer. The tension caused by meta-framing techniques should be treated merely as a “necessary evil” to boost compliance. The caveat being that it is a double-edged sword, so if overused, it can cause unwanted effects such as auto-rejection or, worse — frame wars.
Rapport-breaking techniques may make her feel undervalued, tooled, and powerless. They represent ego hits, offending her conception of herself as the prize. If pushed to the brink, she may respond by declaring a frame war.
So avoiding the overuse (not use) of meta-framing techniques is a great way to dodge frame wars.
Yet, sometimes frame wars are unavoidable. That’s just the way it is. Maybe you miscalibrated and overused meta-framing techniques when they weren’t warranted. Perhaps that’s the way she is, or something in the context of the interaction triggered it accidentally.
What do you do if you sense a frame war coming? That’s what this post will answer.
If a girl’s not responding over text, should you resort to “texting dirty”? While dirty texting tactics can work, there’s a better, non-dirty way to get a response than these.A reader emailed in recently to ask my opinion on several texting tactics he'd come across. One was from a texting course called "The Scrambler", while the other is from a negotiation book that uses a tactic to force a "no."
Seduction advice often gets a bad rap as 'manipulation', even though most of it's not. I've talked about this several times over the years, including in "Is Seduction Wrong?" (also in "Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?").
However, there's a kernel of truth in every stereotype, and the reason seduction so often gets classed as manipulation is because there are men out there who use dirty manipulation tactics.
They use these tactics because they CAN work... but there's a "but."
The "but" is that they don't work as well as superior non-manipulative tactics, and that even when they do work they tend to trigger resentment toward you.
Both the tactics our reader stumbled upon were tactics I consider negatively manipulative. I'll introduce you to them, talk about why they're negative, and discuss some alternatives in this piece.
Men often inadvertently spark frame wars with women they’re courting. Ways they do this include over-playing their tactics, failing to make the girl feel special, and more.Hey guys. Welcome back!
Ever have a girl just pop up next to you? Well you can do the same thing to girls too. Women will present 3 opportunities to do it… and you can easily pop up in 4 simple steps.Girls use this one all the time.
Well guess what? So can you.
What's the most magical way to meet someone? It's when two people bump into each other as if by magic.
Actually that's the second most magical. The most magical is when two people are checking each other out, anticipating meeting each other, then both drift toward each other and meet. But you won't always have that drawn-out 'both checking each other out' situation.
As far back as junior high I noticed how often women who liked me magically appeared around me.
I was too shy to approach (much) then, so I started doing the next best thing:
I'd magically appear around women I liked too.
As you would expect, it led to us 'just happening' to end up in conversations sometimes.
And sometimes these girls would ask me out.
Eventually I got into approaching women a lot more directly. But I've still always had a place in my heart for happening to find myself near women I want to meet.
It makes life easier.
What is a frame war? This phenomenon occurs when someone seeks to seize control of the frame from you and you seek to seize it back.Hey guys. Welcome back!
Last week we looked at the meta-frame and how to set it. To recap, the meta-frame is the “frame of frames,” a frame that must be respected and set to acquire the benefits from other key frames (social and sexual frames). This is the frame where you are the prize, and she chases you, which must be set and maintained. Every other frame you set must be coherent with the meta-frame.
The meta-frame positions you as the prize, and she chases you. All frame control becomes difficult or nearly impossible without it since the prize has the most power and compliance over the other, so that person will be the dominant one in the interaction.
Dominance is not about being a dick toward other men or acting like an obnoxious bad boy. It involves your ability to set and control the interaction's frames and having people accept them. That’s dominance. And women like dominant men, which means they like men who set and maintain frames.
The meta-frame makes her compliant to you – very compliant if strong enough. Yet something interesting happens sometimes: frame wars.
You are in a frame war when you have the meta-frame (she is chasing you), and the girl wants to turn it around and steal the meta-frame.
A frame war emerges when you both want the other to chase. Wars are always devastating, and the same applies here: it usually generates tons of collateral damage.
Today’s subject is frame wars and their implications. Next week I will discuss how to avoid them and deal with them when they occur.
So, first things first: how do you know when you are in a frame war?
Frames are easier to set with the right meta-frame in place. Yet frames feed into the meta-frame to. So how do you set one conducive to success with the women you want?Hey guys! Welcome back.
Last week we went over meta-frames – what they are and why they are essential. A successful seduction involves the meta-frame to some extent; no two ways around it unless you get lucky, which can also happen.
The meta-frame is “prizability,” the frame where you are the prize and women chase you, instead of the other way around. More importantly, it gives you full control over the frame of the interaction. By default, this will allow you to lead the interaction and come off as dominant (and no, dominance, in this case, is not being the big tough guy who chops wood. We’re talking about social dominance with frame control).
The lack of a meta-frame makes most seductions collapse.
Imagine you want to set a social frame by establishing rapport, and you do so from a frame of neediness (against the meta-frame). You will come off as “try-hard” – trying too hard to get to know her.
Imagine that you are trying to get her to invest in a needy way. That’s a paradox since you’re clearly investing in her and not the other way around.
Now imagine you are trying to set a sexual frame without respect for the meta-frame. You will come off as sexually desperate and perhaps creepy.
You need the meta-frame, or else it all falls apart.
But how is this frame set? That is what we will discuss today.
There are many different kinds of women to meet. Most guys meet the same 1-2 types of girls again and again without realizing. But are you meeting the best one(s) for you?I thought I'd draw up a fun article on different 'classes' of women and where they can be found. Somewhat similar to a 'monster compendium' of Dungeons & Dragons fame.
Since we're doing this day game focus (with Hector's day game course Meet Girls Everywhere about ready to launch), I was thinking about the girls you most often meet via day game vs. those you meet via night game vs. those you meet via dating apps.
I thought this'd be a neat little piece to do; one that differentiates between these different types, whom you will most often meet in different ways/venues/times/places.
Our 8 types of women are:
Without further ado, let's explore each...
The meta frame is the frame of frames. Learn to set it and setting other frames gets far easier.Hey guys, welcome back!
Lately, we’ve been discussing frames in-depth, in particular social and sexual frames. A frame is a lens or point of view that affects the way participants in an interaction interpret it and how they perceive you. Your contribution to the interaction will have an impact on its frame, contributing to its underlying meaning.
I went to great lengths to explain what a frame is in the post “What is a Frame?” so I won't repeat myself. For now, let’s stick to this overarching, simple definition of frames and frame control:
A frame is the perspective and underlying meaning of an interaction. It dictates and defines the characteristics of the interaction – the couple’s social standing, role, and main features.
Frames are about “who are you to her?” and “who is she to you?”. In group settings, when you encounter social circles and night game, frames define who you are to each other.
Each action affects the narrative or underlying meaning of the interaction. They “set the tone” of the interaction. But each action also affects people’s perception of the receiver – your actions will define her perception of you.
The intermediaries between “actions” and “perceptions” are frames.
Actions –> Frames –> Perception
In my latest posts on frames, I discussed social and sexual frames. Social frames involve seduction, her internal reality regarding what she perceives as a socially acceptable or socially fit sexual mate. Your role is to set the right social frame – making her feel that you are a guy who is suitable to her on a social level (I shared numerous tools on how to achieve that).
Why is this crucial? It reduces many forms of resistance (like female state control, when she resists your moves so she doesn’t get carried away by a man who is potentially not her type socially), but it also generates compliance. It also serves as a good “security web” whenever her mood drops and her arousal fades. A bad social frame will make her regret getting carried away by your sexy escalation when that arousal fades. (“Oh crap! Why did I let myself get carried away by THAT GUY?”). According to Chase, it creates a higher floor to land back on when the effects of stimulation (escalation, etc.) fade. But it also generates a higher ceiling, as a social frame can increase her compliance level and allow you to escalate and set sexual frames with ease. So, it is a key aspect.
There are sexual frames, which put sex on the table, giving the interaction a sexual undertone, making it sexual. This is important to escalate the vibe, but it can also up her compliance levels. If sexual frames are set early enough, they help you avoid deadly pitfalls such as the friendzone and last-minute resistance (when she resists at the last minute right before you are about to have sex with her). Most importantly, sexual frames allow you to speed up the seduction and make it smoother.
So, both types of frames are essential to successful seductions.
But these frames aren’t worth much and will have a negligible impact if they aren’t coherent with what we call the “meta-frame.”
You can use screens to get women to qualify themselves to you in order to boost rapport. That’s great for investment. But what if you actually care about whether she passes a screen?I can hear you already:
"But Chase, I thought it was screening and qualifying women? Not screening versus qualifying!"
Ordinarily, yes. This article's about a slightly different tack, however.
In much of usual seduction practice, screening is a tool to get women to qualify. Or a tool to see whether women are invested enough to qualify.
For example, you tell a girl, "There's nothing like a good adventure. Going somewhere new, doing something novel, trying some unique food or experience for the first time. I love it, personally." That's an implied screen.
When you screen her like that, assuming you already have rapport with her, there's a fair bit of pressure on her to qualify herself and answer, "Yes, I like adventure too."
Even if she's the opposite of adventurous, she's going to feel pressure to tell you, "Yeah, that sounds nice," just to avoid breaking rapport.
As she qualifies herself to you like this, she complies with your frame.
If she doesn't qualify herself, it's an indication she may not be that compliant with you just yet.
Either way, this is helpful for your seduction.
But there are certain times you aren't going to want a woman trying to qualify herself to your screens.
Sometimes, you are using the screen to actually screen for whatever it is the screen's about.
And if she starts qualifying herself, instead of giving you the straight truth, she'll be investing, but you aren't going to be getting what information you're after.
