(2) Intermediate

There are a variety of tools you can use to set sexual frames. But they aren’t all best used at all the same times in a seduction. Here’s which to use and when.

On one of my articles, Finegirl asks:

Chase could you deepen alek's article on sexual frames where he talks about the chase frame and the inefficiency of direct, etc? It would be nice. Clarify these things and bring more examples of great techniques

Yeah sure. Let me take you through what Alek is talking about and give you a bit of my own take.

Alek gives a great run-down on the various ways sexual frames may set (either you set them or she does).

He doesn't go in-depth into any of these, as that was not the point of the piece. Most of them we cover elsewhere.

However, per Finegirl's request, I'll cover the key tactics and how they're best used in my opinion a bit more in-depth here.

Women will tell you about their problems. But what can you do to help? Can you solve them yourself? Even if you can (or could)… should you?

One of the most aggravating disconnects between men and women is our approach to problems.

When a man has a problem, he wants to solve it. When he talks about it, he's in search of solutions.

When a woman has a problem, she wants to vent. When she talks about it, she's in search of a friendly ear. If someone has some great ideas on how to fix her problem, she'll be irritated by it, because that person is trying to fix things, instead of just listening.

Women throughout your life are going to bring you their problems.

This can end up an endlessly aggravating situation for both parties, as the male-female problem-solving approaches clash.

If you cannot find a way to resolve it, all you'll end up with is two very aggravated people.

Do women not notice you’re there? Are you… invisible to women? If so, there are a few key reasons why. And the solutions are not as hard as you might think.

I spent most of my teens and early twenties alone and depressed.

The one constant thought in my mind, the biggest source of despair, was over how invisible I was to women.

You can’t always avoid a frame war. If you find yourself in one, you’re going to use one of these tactics to come out the winner.

Hey guys and welcome back!

In my last two posts, we discussed frame wars. The first explained what frame wars are (they happen quite frequently, especially in night game). The second post outlined some preventive measures to help you avoid frame war agony since prevention is the best cure.

Frame wars occur when a girl tries to wrestle the meta-frame away from you and switch things from her chasing you back to you chasing her. Whoever holds the frame is considered the prize.

She may try to steal the frame because:

• Society has programmed her to believe she is the prize

• When men chase, her ego is satisfied

• It makes her look good socially and bad if she chases you

But it can also be due to her simply wanting you badly, and the best way to get you (and rightfully so) is to make you chase.

The problem is that the moment you start chasing, you fall into her frame, which means that she will be in charge of the interaction. This goes against her idea of you as a dominant man, which she finds attractive. It also means she will be framed as higher value than you. It is problematic since women tend to fall for higher-value males. Also, you will satisfy her ego, and when she is satisfied, she will have nothing left to gain from you and will be able to comfortably move on, so you will lose her.

In my last post, I suggested that you avoid overusing meta-framing techniques such as:

• Push/pull (showing mixed signals)

• Teasing

• Disqualifiers (disqualifying her to make her chase)

• Jealousy plots (making her jealous)

All are rapport-breaking techniques. What is wrong with rapport-breaking techniques? They push you away from each other when you should be moving closer. The tension caused by meta-framing techniques should be treated merely as a “necessary evil” to boost compliance. The caveat being that it is a double-edged sword, so if overused, it can cause unwanted effects such as auto-rejection or, worse — frame wars.

Rapport-breaking techniques may make her feel undervalued, tooled, and powerless. They represent ego hits, offending her conception of herself as the prize. If pushed to the brink, she may respond by declaring a frame war.

So avoiding the overuse (not use) of meta-framing techniques is a great way to dodge frame wars.

Yet, sometimes frame wars are unavoidable. That’s just the way it is. Maybe you miscalibrated and overused meta-framing techniques when they weren’t warranted. Perhaps that’s the way she is, or something in the context of the interaction triggered it accidentally.

What do you do if you sense a frame war coming? That’s what this post will answer.

If a girl’s not responding over text, should you resort to “texting dirty”? While dirty texting tactics can work, there’s a better, non-dirty way to get a response than these.

A reader emailed in recently to ask my opinion on several texting tactics he'd come across. One was from a texting course called "The Scrambler", while the other is from a negotiation book that uses a tactic to force a "no."

Seduction advice often gets a bad rap as 'manipulation', even though most of it's not. I've talked about this several times over the years, including in "Is Seduction Wrong?" (also in "Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?").

However, there's a kernel of truth in every stereotype, and the reason seduction so often gets classed as manipulation is because there are men out there who use dirty manipulation tactics.

They use these tactics because they CAN work... but there's a "but."

The "but" is that they don't work as well as superior non-manipulative tactics, and that even when they do work they tend to trigger resentment toward you.

Both the tactics our reader stumbled upon were tactics I consider negatively manipulative. I'll introduce you to them, talk about why they're negative, and discuss some alternatives in this piece.

Men often inadvertently spark frame wars with women they’re courting. Ways they do this include over-playing their tactics, failing to make the girl feel special, and more.

Hey guys. Welcome back!

Ever have a girl just pop up next to you? Well you can do the same thing to girls too. Women will present 3 opportunities to do it… and you can easily pop up in 4 simple steps.

Girls use this one all the time.

Well guess what? So can you.

What's the most magical way to meet someone? It's when two people bump into each other as if by magic.

Actually that's the second most magical. The most magical is when two people are checking each other out, anticipating meeting each other, then both drift toward each other and meet. But you won't always have that drawn-out 'both checking each other out' situation.

As far back as junior high I noticed how often women who liked me magically appeared around me.

I was too shy to approach (much) then, so I started doing the next best thing:

I'd magically appear around women I liked too.

As you would expect, it led to us 'just happening' to end up in conversations sometimes.

And sometimes these girls would ask me out.

Eventually I got into approaching women a lot more directly. But I've still always had a place in my heart for happening to find myself near women I want to meet.

It makes life easier.