(2) Intermediate

At times you’ll have low momentum in meeting, dating, and picking up girls. What can you learn during low momentum periods – and how do you get out of them?

Foreword: This post was written in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic. The advice offered here is universally valid, although the introduction mentions the current context. If you happen to read this post later, you may skip or skim the introduction.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

As the nightlife is gradually reopening around the world, many (myself included) are starting to go out again. It can be difficult to get back “in field” and go out and meet girls again. We’ve been deprived of social interactions for so long... Many were locked up in our flats, not being allowed to socialize!

Obviously, it’s taken a toll on our skill and momentum. We feel a bit off, uncomfortable, unsmooth, and we probably are. The advice surrounding negative macro-momentum still applies. It is natural, and you shouldn’t take it personally. Momentum goes up and down, and feeling bad about being in low momentum will only make it worse. Just accept that you may be in a rough spot (back in June 2021, I was too), and plow your way back to former glory! It took me a month; it may take longer for you.

One thing takes a big hit when you’re facing low momentum: your opening and hook game. Strategic choices and escalating the vibe will also be affected, but these happen after you’ve opened and hooked the girl, which means you will feel more comfortable interacting with her. Remember that most social discomfort and “lack of vibe” disappear when you are comfortably hooked into an interaction.

For this reason, I will dedicate one of my following posts (in two weeks or so) to a checklist of good openers so you can use them to practice your opening phase if you struggle with that. You cannot practice other skills (hooking, isolating, escalating) or get laid (unless you get a hail mary) if you can’t open girls.

What do women’s real dating histories look like? Do they hook up with tons of different guys… or are their romantic pasts, in fact, rather plain?

Today I'd like to de-mystify women's dating histories a bit for you.

There seems to be more confusion and misunderstanding between the sexes than ever before today. Which is sort of ironic, given how the Internet is, in theory anyway, a communication medium. And so many of us now spend so much of our time surfing around on it.

Often as a man you might get ignored or rejected by a girl and think she thinks she's too good for you. But very often that's not what's happening at all.

Instead, most often, it is simply that you are not her type.

As you get better at seducing women, you will better be able to break women out of their types and suck them into dating you.

However, you will still find that many of the girls you end up with dated guys before you who share some similarities with you, and date guys after they're done with you whom you share similarities with too.

Why does this happen?

Let's take a jaunt inside the female mind.

Nightlife has opened up many places again, now that COVID restrictions have lifted. How has women’s nightlife behavior changed – and how’s it remained the same?

Hey guys!

Today’s post is sociological. I’ll share my latest nightlife observations post-COVID-reopening. As I write this in August 2021, many have been desocialized from measures adopted due to the great COVID-19 pandemic.

If you live somewhere where things are not reopening yet, this post will still be useful since it can give you some idea of what to expect when reopening happens.

When you go out with the guys, do you need to be the alpha male? What if your girlfriend is there and she’s watching – will she lose respect for you if you’re not alpha?

On my article about screening vs. qualifying, reader therock asked about the necessity of being the alpha male:

Hey Chase,

I'm not sure there's an article about this specific issue on the site so I thought I'd ask.

I noticed a curious thing when I'm with my girlfriend in a social circle situation.

Say we're all going to get pizza, all close friends, including my girlfriend.

Now there's always someone who's in the lead.

Simple stuff like where to go, what to check out, etc

While I'm clearly in the leadership position with my girlfriend, I find myself in a situation where we're both being led by another guy.

I'm much more of an interpersonal leadership kinda guy. One to one with a girl I clearly lead. But in groups, it's a bit different.

I considered trying out leading he group but found it counter effective for these reasons:

1. One guy's gonna come out of top and if it's not me, I lose even more power points for trying AND failing.
2. Most of the time the guy was doing an excellent job at leading the group. He knows the best restaurants, knows where we'll have a good time (he knows the city much more than the rest of us). So no one's complaining. I've had situations where other guys made leadership faux pas and i jumped in, doing what's best for the group.
3. The leader is my friend, not hostile and never pulls crap like trying to flirt with my girlfriend.

My question to you: is it mandatory that I always lead any group I find myself in with my girlfriend?

What is its impact on attraction?

And what can one do to minimise the effects of being led by another man in front of his girl?

This is a good question, and it's a common one for guys who're starting out.

The answer is a bit nuanced, too.

Women flake for various reasons – not all of them having to do with you. However, there are steps you can take to avoid flaking… plus others you can use when flakes occur.

One of the least fun experiences in game is when a woman flakes on your date. You have amped yourself up and carefully planned for the date, especially if your goal was to have sex on the first date.

And yet flakes are unavoidable when you date multiple women. Whether you are learning how to use Tinder to meet women or practicing cold approach in day or night game, you will inevitably have a portion of your girls flake.

The problem is that guys often make mistakes when women flake on the date. These errors generally fall into two categories: First, they set up the date suboptimally, leaving the woman with concerns or other reasons to flake. Second, they do not react well when a girl flakes, ruining their chances of seeing her again.

Let’s break down the common causes of flaking, discuss how to minimize flaking, and explain what to do when a woman flakes.

There are a variety of tools you can use to set sexual frames. But they aren’t all best used at all the same times in a seduction. Here’s which to use and when.

On one of my articles, Finegirl asks:

Chase could you deepen alek's article on sexual frames where he talks about the chase frame and the inefficiency of direct, etc? It would be nice. Clarify these things and bring more examples of great techniques

Yeah sure. Let me take you through what Alek is talking about and give you a bit of my own take.

Alek gives a great run-down on the various ways sexual frames may set (either you set them or she does).

He doesn't go in-depth into any of these, as that was not the point of the piece. Most of them we cover elsewhere.

However, per Finegirl's request, I'll cover the key tactics and how they're best used in my opinion a bit more in-depth here.

Women will tell you about their problems. But what can you do to help? Can you solve them yourself? Even if you can (or could)… should you?

One of the most aggravating disconnects between men and women is our approach to problems.

When a man has a problem, he wants to solve it. When he talks about it, he's in search of solutions.

When a woman has a problem, she wants to vent. When she talks about it, she's in search of a friendly ear. If someone has some great ideas on how to fix her problem, she'll be irritated by it, because that person is trying to fix things, instead of just listening.

Women throughout your life are going to bring you their problems.

This can end up an endlessly aggravating situation for both parties, as the male-female problem-solving approaches clash.

If you cannot find a way to resolve it, all you'll end up with is two very aggravated people.