Tactics Tuesdays: How to Isolate a Girl Away from Her Friends

If you read the articles on here (and especially if you read Alek’s articles – he discusses this one regularly), you’ve no doubt come across the tactic of isolation.

The word isolation describes the act or state of being cut off or removed from others. That might sound like something nefarious, but its use here is far more practical:

Isolation is the art of getting a girl away from her friends, from people who know her, or from people in general, so that you and her can get to know one another more privately and ramp up the connection between you.

This is obviously most applicable in social venues (bars and nightclubs, parties, barbecues, girls you meet on vacation, etc.), however you’ll sometimes find yourself needing to isolate in traditionally non-social places (for instance, say you meet a girl in a crowded airport terminal, or in a busy café).

Assuming you are isolating women who find you attractive (and you will have an outlandishly hard time isolating women who do not), they want this too, enjoy this, and before you do it often will be hoping that, somehow, they end up somewhere one-on-one with you without their friends, much as they adore them, sticking their noses in or craning their necks around to hear what you are saying better.

Today’s article is all about isolation: how to isolate a girl, different ways you can generate isolation scenarios, and what you can do in the case where for whatever reason you can’t pull her off somewhere more private just yet, but you’re nonetheless at the deadline to create some one-on-one time with her.

 

How to Isolate a Girl: The Standard Ways

There are three (3) more or less ‘standard’ ways to isolate a girl:

1. Take her hand and lead her off. Possibly after telling her “Let’s grab a seat” or “Let’s move over there”, coupled with an excuse of some sort: “Before the seats are all filled up”, “We’ll be more comfortable”, “It’s quieter over there”, etc. You may or may not ask or tell her friend(s) first, too, depending on what said friend(s) is/are doing. For instance, if she’s there with one friend, but the friend has already left to go dance with someone else, there’s no need to seek the friend out to tell her where you’ll sit. On the other hand, if the friend’s just sitting there, not interrupting, but not doing anything else, you should probably let her know you’re stealing her girlfriend for a few minutes but you will both be right over yonder.

2. Invite her to go get something. If you’re a little nervous about outright asking a girl to commit to an interaction with you (“Let’s grab a seat”), you can start with something more innocent, like inviting her to walk and talk with you while you go to grab a drink. “Hey, I’m going to grab a drink; come with me.” This one’s a little more harmless, but I’m personally not a fan, because you’ll sometimes get girls coming with you who don’t actually like you enough to sit with you or continue the interaction after, and other times you’ll have girls who probably would’ve sat with you but don’t really feel like going up to the bar or going to say hi to your friends. Use this one if you need baby steps, or if you can’t use #1, but if you can do #1, do #1.

3. Create a bubble and let her friends isolate you. This is for when you’re a bit more advanced and better able to create strong, obvious connections with girls. When you do this, you’ll often have scenarios where women’s friends will simply vanish, leaving you and the girl isolated and alone, because both they like you and they recognize their friend is enamored with you and they don’t want to interfere. Note that if you’re doing this one, you should still take her hand and lead her somewhere else at some point, because even if the friends give you isolation, if you’re still standing where you met her, you still haven’t moved her yet and you haven’t shown much leadership. Simply look around, notice you’re alone, and don’t remark on her friends (“Where’d your friends go?” “Well, looks like your friends all wandered off”), because that might put her in “Oh, better go search them out” mode; instead, just say, “Hey, let’s sit,” or “Let’s migrate over there.”

These will be your bread-and-butter isolation methods, and you’ll usually use one of these three most of the time (ideally, either #1 or #3).

#1 is the most practical, and especially when you’re moving fast, odds are you’ll find you use this one most.

#2 is the most harmless, which is good if you’re a newcomer to isolation. It can also be useful in stickier situations; for instance, say you approach her sitting down and you can’t easily tell her you want to “grab a seat with her” (since you, and her, and her friends are already seated). Sometimes it’s just easiest to tell her you want to go grab something, and invite her to come with you so you can continue talking.

#3 is the lowest friction, which makes it especially useful when you’re in a lower energy mood and/or her friends are ‘closer’ to her and it feels a little more challenging to pull them away. Build a good, clear connection and get her obviously attracted enough, and a fair bit of the time the friends will do the isolation for you.

Those are your standard isolations. Now, how to know when it’s time to isolate?

 

Knowing It’s Time to Isolate

You should aim to isolate girls generally about 2 to 3 minutes after reaching the hook point. That’s the point where she gets genuinely enthusiastic about talking with you and starts asking you questions, qualifying herself, touching you, or otherwise investing lots in the conversation.

You don’t want to do that the instant she starts doing this, because then it seems reactive... like you were waiting to do that as soon as she gave you the sign. Instead, you want it to seem more an emergent, natural part of the seduction – something you and her just built up to.

So, you wait a few minutes, and presto: now it feels like it’s time.

Additionally, some venue-specific time limits:

• Relaxed non-social venues (cafés, malls, bookstores, libraries, airports, etc.): you have about 20 minutes to isolate her if she’s seated when you meet her, to allow for the transition into a more social mood, then for getting her to hook. If she’s standing, shave about 10 minutes off that time limit, or get her (and perhaps her friends) to sit with you first – then isolate later.

• Energetic non-social venues (street stops, mass transit, or if she’s standing in a relaxed non-social venue): you have about 10 minutes to isolate her. This is the toughest environment to isolate in – say you meet a girl with two of her friends walking down the street, or a girl traveling on the subway with a girlfriend – so most of the time you will go for a phone number here, not isolate. However, if you’re going for the lay that day with no break in continuity, this is the time limit you’ll need to find a way to isolate her within.

   

• Relaxed social venues (dive bars, lounges, barbecues, low key parties, networking events, etc.): you have about 10 minutes to isolate her once you begin talking to her. If you don’t isolate her in the first 10 minutes, it will start to feel weird after this usually, if the two of you just stand in the same place where you met and just talk for 15 or 20 or 25 minutes.

• Energetic social venues (dance clubs, wild parties, raves, etc.): you have no more than 5 minutes, and sometimes less, to isolate her. Sometimes you may have no more than 3. It depends on the venue and the girl. The more energetic it/she is, the shorter your window to isolate. However, if you meet her in a more relaxed part of the venue (say, the outdoor patio where everyone is in a calmer mood), the time limit goes up to one more akin to that of a relaxed social venue.

The thing to be sensitive to is her level of energy and what other demands there are for her attention. In a loud dance club with the music pulsing and her friends yelling at her and other guys checking her out or trying to steal her from you if they see you standing there talking to her for too long but not doing anything, you only have a short amount of time to isolate her. In a quiet café where she’s just sitting with a few friends independently reading books or checking their cell phones, you’ll need a little time to gently ramp her up into a social state, then get her to hook, plus, the distractions are few and far between, so you’ll both need more time, generally, and you’ll have more time.

Obviously, these considerations have their exceptions, and if you meet a girl in a sullen, serious mood at the bar in a loud dance club, you’ll probably need to treat her more like a girl you met in a more relaxed venue, and if you meet a girl gabbing away excitedly with her friends even though they’re sitting in the middle of a quiet bookstore, you’ll need to treat her more like one you met in a more energetic setting. Calibrate to her energy level, even more than you do to that of the environment – her emotional disposition counts more than the environment’s.

 

How to Isolate a Girl in Unconventional Ways/Places

Let’s talk about some of the trickier isolation situations you’ll face.

For instance, what if you meet a girl in a boisterous, wall-to-wall venue with no place to sit and nowhere to take her? How do you isolate her from her friends here?

In this case, you’ll need to be creative. You have two options:

1. Make up a reason to walk around with her, then isolate elsewhere

2. Have her turn her back to her friends and achieve semi-isolation

The first is to just concoct a reason to walk around with her. Just tell her, “Let’s go for a walk and scout this place out,” or, “Come on, I want to check out the band; come with me.” Now, it helps if you already scouted the venue out when you first got there, since you will know the hidden nooks and crannies that just might offer you a private place to steal her away to.

Regardless, your real goal is not to walk with her (because you can’t do much to progress the seduction while you’re walking together), but to move her elsewhere.

However, women don’t like ambiguous compliance asks, so you don’t want to say something like, “Let’s look for somewhere we can talk more privately.” Especially in a crowded venue, that sounds like a mission destined for failure, and she’ll likely object. “Let’s scout this place out a bit” or “Let’s check out the band” sound a lot more fun.

Then, once you’re walking, even if you can’t find somewhere more private, just find somewhere comfortable to be for a while that’s away from her friends. If there’s nowhere to sit, find a strip of wall you can both lean against, or a bar to lean up on.

The second option you have for isolating her is to stay where you are, but maneuver her such that her back is toward her friends (i.e., you’ll be able to see them over her shoulder, but she will not see them herself). This will usually require you to lock in first, assuming her and her friends are at a table or bar or against a wall somewhere.

What you do here is you move your body as you talk to her, so that she repositions herself to keep facing you. For example, you may approach her from the outside, with her mostly facing her three friends, then once she’s hooked, you move to her side and prop yourself up against the bar you met her at. She turns to face you, and now her back is to her friends (though you can still see them).

Because all she sees now is a mishmash of strangers behind your back, she feels isolated. After you’ve talked for a few minutes this way, she won’t even feel like her friends are there anymore – they could’ve drifted off, for all she knows (and they often will; see #3 of our standard isolation tactics).

In this way, you can effectively isolate women, without technically isolating them.

 

Exceptions: Do You Ever NOT Need to Isolate?

Sometimes you do not need to isolate, and you can just sit/stand there and escalate things with her and never take her away from her friends.

In practice, you will almost always need to isolate, if only to move her and have her commit to the interaction, or to create the sense that she has followed you around and you have led (if you try to go from “stood in place and talked for 30 minutes” to “okay, let’s go home”, it’s usually going to feel strange).

However, if you are leading strongly with screening and compliance requests and using a lot of sexual escalation / touch, it’s possible to get a woman incredibly aroused without ever moving around from where you met her, and to pull her after a while doing this. One example might be meeting a girl sitting in her booth, taking a seat with her, having her turn toward you and away from her friends, and having her invest a lot, pass numerous screens and compliance tests of yours, touching her a lot and having her touch you back... do this and you can sometimes pull her home after 15 or 20 (or less) minutes of this.

Generally though, interactions where you do not isolate the girl or move her around at all before pulling are unstable and you’ll more often have girls agree to the pull, then balk mid-pull and decide they want to abort. Moving them around first reduces this and gets women in the habit of following your lead and trusting you to lead them places they like that are comfortable, so you will usually want to try to isolate, or at least move her somewhere, before you pull.

It is also possible to move girls around and have them bring all their friends around, which satisfies the movement requirement, and never isolate them, then sleep with them later. This is more the case for women who are sexually experienced or sexually open-minded; you’ll have a tougher time pulling this off with women who are more reserved and for whom reputation concerns loom larger.

 

What Do You Do Once You Isolate Her?

Once you isolate her, it’s time to start really having fun.

Now you can deep dive her more seriously; you can bust out your sex talk or chase frames to full effect without worrying about her friends listening in, jaws agape, or her worrying what they’re thinking; you can touch her more intimately and more sexually without her worrying as much about what anyone looking on might think.

And, of course, you are one (giant) step closer to taking her home.

 

How to Isolate a Girl: The Recap

Here’s a recap of what we’ve gone over.

There are three (3) standard ways to isolate a girl:

1. Take her hand and lead her off
2. Invite her to go get something
3. Create a bubble and let her friends isolate you

#1 is the most practical option, and will most likely be your go-to isolation method. #2 works best if you’re shy about isolating, or if you need to isolate in scenario where it’d be odd to ask for a standard isolation (if she’s already seated, for instance). #3 happens naturally much of the time as you get better with girls, but don’t forget to move her on your own anyway and get her following your lead / committing to getting to know you.

You typically want to isolate within 2 or 3 minutes of reaching the hook point (don’t miss that escalation window!). Further guidelines on isolating:

• You have 20 minutes to isolate in relaxed non-social venues (cafés, malls, bookstores, libraries, airports, etc.), where she is not seated

• You have 10 minutes to isolate in energetic non-social venues (street stops, mass transit, etc.), or if she’s standing in a relaxed non-social venue

• You have 10 minutes to isolate in relaxed social venues (dive bars, lounges, barbecues, low-key parties, networking events, etc.)

• You have 5 minutes to isolate in energetic social venues (dance clubs, wild parties, raves, etc.)

All these are dependent on the situation and her energy levels, of course; a girl in a highly social, energetic mood in a relaxed non-social venue presents a much shorter window for you to isolate her during, while a girl in a non-social, low-energy mood in an energetic social venue offers a longer window to isolate during, and often requires more time to reach a hook point with regardless.

You have two (2) options for isolating in non-standard / unconventional ways, when standard isolation seems unavailable or impractical:

1. Make up a reason to walk around with her, then isolate elsewhere

2. Have her turn her back to her friends and achieve semi-isolation

And, it sometimes possible to forego isolation, if:

• You are escalating quickly and dominantly with her then and there, and/or
• You are moving the entire group along with you and her, while seducing her

In both cases, you will still typically want to make sure you are moving her, to get her used to following your lead and to help her trust that when you take her places, they are places she wants to go and enjoys going to.

Once she’s isolated with you:

• Deep dive her
• Sex talk / chase frame her
• Escalate touch on her and get closer

Isolation’s a key part of seduction when you are going for one-night stands or same-day lays; it’s crucial to get her away from prying eyes so she can let her hair down with you and start to really indulge herself in the seduction.

Do this, and you make it significantly easier for the women you meet to go places with you, accompany you, escalate with you, and leave their friends to come home with you. Not to mention, it’s simply fun for her to meet this cool, sexy guy, then have him whisk her off, away from her friends, and pull her into this seduction. It doesn’t happen for her every day, or even often at all.

Chase Amante