Women often resist going home with you because they don’t want to appear slutty. To bypass this issue, all she needs is plausible deniability, which you can provide.
Hey guys, and welcome back.
Today I want to discuss a phase that many men struggle with: the extraction phase. It’s a phase prone to resistance and also the time you get an indication of whether you have successfully built compliance and dealt with her resistance even though other factors like mood changes, wildcards, and logistical factors may pop up at the last minute.
Therefore, I consider this phase important to master. You may get lucky, things may go smoothly, and she goes home with you without you delivering a tight game. But that is simply pure luck, and you cannot rely on this.
You must always try to go for the extraction, whether you feel the vibe is perfect or subprime. The number one reason men do not get laid consistently is that they do not make an invitation for it. They do not try to get the girl to leave with them; they do not try to extract.
Some guys may be too nervous about doing it, or it could be they want to protect their ego and not take the chance to ruin the connection. It feels so much better for your ego to leave a girl, falsely believing you could have banged her. But the truth is, if she did not leave with you, there is no “could have banged her.” You either bang her or you don’t. If you do not try to extract, you will never know.
So, always be extracting.
Even if the vibe is not right, and closing time is near, it is better to just go for it. You never know. Maybe she is an easy one; maybe she is not that into you. She might just decide that it is late and wants to have fun. You don’t know unless you try.
So, always be extracting.
In the past, I’ve discussed how to extract and get her to leave with you. I have also gone over how to go to a girl’s place (the system is very similar, just a few tweaks added).
Here’s the system:
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Reach a high note (generate compliance, reach a peak in emotions and compliance, and strike)
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Give a reason to leave (“It’s so loud in here.”)
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Find an excuse to go back to your place (“Do you like wine? Ah, good, let’s get back to my place and continue this conversation.”)
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Lower the pressure (“I don’t live far away.”)
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Persist (back off, build more compliance, handle potential resistance)
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Try again if you fail (persistence)
This template applies here as well and is probably the standard model most would agree with.
What we will discuss today is how to use plausible deniability to aid your extraction.
We’ve examined this subject before, but I want to give my take on it and add some key points.
What Is Plausible Deniability?
Plausible deniability is an excuse to get her to act in a certain way. For example, an excuse to isolate her might be “Let’s get a drink” or “How about going outside for a smoke?” The idea is to give her a rational excuse to act upon.
The excuse needs to be good enough to make her act upon it. It needs to give her a reason why she'd want to do it.
It also gives you an excuse to do something without revealing your cards (i.e., showing direct sexual intent). Your interest should be implicitly displayed, not explicitly, since implicitly showing interest can make her wonder and generate intrigue. Explicit displays do the opposite, since it is clear to her what your intentions are (though being direct can work; it can speed things up considerably but with much higher risk).
When extracting, you want to give her an excuse to leave with you. That said, if compliance is deadly high, you may go more direct.
If compliance is high and things have gotten hot and heavy, a simple "Let's get dafuq out of here" can do the trick.
But if you want to minimize risk, go indirect and provide her with a plausible excuse to leave with you.
As far as plausible excuses go, you’ve probably heard lame ideas like “Want to go home with me and see my timber collection?” or “Do you want to go back to my place to see my cat who can do saltos?” Those are a bit silly, so here are some more "normal" ideas:
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“Let’s go to my place and have some good wine. I have a great Bordeaux.”
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“Do you like sparkling wine? I have a good crémant at my place, and considering I enjoy talking to you, I would love to share it with you.”
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My favorite: “I have some really nice tea from China, including one from 1990 (ripened Pu-erh) and from the high mountains (Dan Cong, or Taiwanese Lishan Oolong). Maybe you could join me for a crazy tea session (Chinese Gong Fu).”
I‘ll give more examples shortly, don’t worry.
I did once experiment with “Let’s go back to my place and play chess.” And so we did. She did not know that I actually intended to play chess, and so we did for two hours. She got so frustrated that she got mad.
This proves that subconsciously she knows what the deal is. In her head, she knows I am using this as an excuse to get her to come over, but the real plan is to screw her. But if the real intention is so known to women, why do you need an excuse?
Why Do You Need Plausible Deniability?
Despite her knowing what is really going on, she does not want to feel like she's acting on that knowledge (anti-slut defense). She knows you want to shag, and she may want to shag you, too.
Yet she cannot allow herself to act upon this fact. She wants to go home with you, but she cannot go home with you because of other factors, primarily social risks.
Why does she think this way?
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Her anti-slut defense kicks in. She does not want to feel like she is “easy.” This can be dealt with by displaying nonjudgmental frames and by reframing sex as good and natural. But you may not be able to reprogram her sexual beliefs. Resistance related to her anti-slut defense may pop up (they emerge in the moment of heat, like when you are trying to escalate, isolate, or extract).
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She wants an excuse she can give her friends. She does not want to be judged. If she says she went home with a guy because of X reason other than because she wanted dick, she comes across as less slutty. This is why women say “Well, I was drunk that night” or “It just happened.” It’s to remove the guilt related to her actions (backwards rationalization).
Giving her plausible deniability is not meant to "fool" her into coming home with you. Very few women are that dumb. It’s to give her an excuse to act upon, an excuse for herself. You are offering her an excuse so she can backwards rationalize later to remove any guilt.
She knows what is going on deep inside, yet she does not feel like she wants to act upon it. She may not feel allowed to act upon her desires. It’s why you need to provide an excuse for her to leave with you.
I guess you could call it sexual red tape.
I will explain how to make plausible deniability even more efficient, but first, here are two more examples:
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“I would love to show you my art collection. You should come along and have a glass of wine.” (You can substitute art with other things like photography.)
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“So, do you like house music (or any music)? I have a sick collection. Let’s go to my place, and I’ll show you.”
Remember that the template presented in the introduction still applies here:
- Provide an excuse to leave
- Lower the pressure
- Persist if necessary
Planting the Seed
You may deliver plausible deniability as you are extracting. It works well, especially if the compliance is high. This is the standard way to do it, and I have done this many times.
And I've noticed there's a way to make it work better. That is, by planting the seed beforehand.
What do I mean by that?
Well, you want to discuss the plausible deniability or put it out there long before the extraction phase.
An example will illustrate this better...
I am a tea freak, and I happen to have an interesting tea collection from China (a mind-blowing one). I also have a very fancy Chinese Gong Fu tea set, including many cups and gear (women love stuff like that). I usually talk about how I love collecting teas. Usually, I will do so after some sex-talk. As I fractionate out of it, I’ll move into a non-sexual and social topic, and I’ll talk about this.
I’ll go over how to make tea, how one can become tea drunk, which is a nice, relaxing buzz, and the best part: it is not dangerous.
I do not talk too long about it, as I do not want to bore her.
Then, I change to juicier subjects (like sex), and I may escalate. I’ll reach a high note and go for the extraction.
Next, I’ll invite her over, saying something like: “I feel like a tea session, why don’t you join me?”
Since I have talked about tea, my plausible deniability has suddenly become more plausible and hence more powerful.
I have even had women interrupt me out of the blue, asking if we could go to my place to have some tea. This is how plausible my plausible deniability has become.
You can do this with anything, whether it is your art, wine collection, or whatever your hobby. You must have something back at your place that intrigues women, right? If not, just buy a few nice bottles of wine and use that.
Daniel uses something similar. Since he is an artist, he talks about his art in the interaction and then uses that as plausible deniability for extractions.
It is just that powerful.
Recap
Plausible deniability is an excuse you deliver to help women rationalize their actions both toward their friends and toward themselves. It is not because they don't know what is going on (they know perfectly well). It’s because she is not socially allowed to act upon her desires. She needs a different, more socially acceptable reason to act.
This is where plausible deniability comes in.
It is not to fool her into leaving with you (as many mistakenly believe).
You give her plausible deniability to make the decision easier for her. If she's interested, she'll be very glad you did so.
That’s what it is all about.
And if you plant the seed for plausible deniability in the middle of the interaction, not only will the plausible deniability become more genuine, it will also make it even more plausible.
Try it out.
Until next,
Alek
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