How to Start a Conversation with Anyone You Want | Girls Chase

How to Start a Conversation with Anyone You Want

What’s the greatest single key to being able to converse with girls in a relaxed way, not put too much pressure on yourself, be sexual, and then pull them home?

It’s not looks. It’s not confidence. It’s not being well-dressed. These aspects are all important, however, the single greatest key to being able to converse with any girl is momentum.

how to start a conversation

You can take the most talented, socially suave guy in the world, and throw him in a social situation on an off day, and he’ll look like an awkward, uncalibrated beginner.

And every guy who gets consistent success with girls understands the principle of momentum. Especially because the high value men understand what it means to work extremely hard. When you spend all day on the grindstone – on your computer, on pieces of paper, on the phone… the last thing you feel like is a social dynamo when you step out of the door.

That’s why you need to learn to converse with anyone and everyone around you.

If you can learn how to start a conversation with anyone, you can learn how to get yourself warmed up and talking to the hottest girls in any situation. And it’s no pressure, it’s not like you’ll ever see these people again (or maybe if you make a good connection, you could).

Sounds easy, right? So why doesn’t every guy go and start a conversation with anyone and everyone?

This question is exactly what I’m going to address today, along with how you can overcome your own fear of strangers and use conversations with anyone in any situation to help boost your energy and get you ready to seduce the hottest of women.

Let’s go.

Colt WilliamsAbout the Author: Colt Williams

Raised in the American Midwest, Colt Williams made a name for himself in dating with a style based on soulful poetic seductions and playful dance floor antics. His style is all about inspiring girls and drawing them into one’s world. You can book phone coaching with him here, or get a copy of his guide to getting laid on Tinder, the product of months of study and experimentation by him on the medium.


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Roberto G.'s picture

Hi, thank you for the article which is the truth indeed.
I got a problem though with compliments, some part of me saying that it's supplicating to females and sort of "chasing". (I do compliment after of course, when I know her better).
What is the solution? Am I too narcisstic?

David Riley's picture

Hey Robert,

I'll give you two examples to look at:
-Direct Game
Me: Hi, just thought you were cute and wanted to say hi, I'm David.
Girl: OH thanks, I'm Jen.
Me: Nice to meet you Jen, are you single?
Girl: Um yes . . why?
Me: Just wanted get to know you better

-Indirect Game *at Starbucks noticing a girl who's dressed up
Me: Hey, why are you so dressed up?
Girl: I just same from a job convention
Me: Oh, how'd that go?
Girl: Really well
Me: Cool, so what are you up to now?
Girl: Girl, just grabbing a drink before I head home.
Me: Nice, well before you go tell me about all the employers who were there.
Girl: Sure there was such and such

Now in both these examples I'm talking to girls which is cool, but in the first example with the girl when I went direct I was able to guage her interest right away. When I went indirect, the girl was thinking I was more interested in the job fair instead of her. The reason would be because I never directly stated my interest in her. It's not bad to compliment a girl on something innocent to get your foot in the door. The problem with complimenting is when you over compliment a girl. That will shoot you in the foot because the girl will just think you're sucking up to her. As a result she won't be interested. The reason is because she's heard it so many times before from so many other guys. Now when you're honest with a girl and are straight forward about your intentions she'll respect you more.

Now this isn't saying indirect game is bad because in the example above I actually did get the girl interested in me and we met up the next day. However, I had to eventually shift the conversation to something more exciting. Now does either way won't guarantee that a girl will be in you, but knowing when to chose between direct and indirect can help you. I chose direct when a girl is more isolated and appears receptive to approach. Also, when I'm cold approaching it's my first go to. I tend to go more indirect when I'm doing social circle game because you don't want the interaction to go south, and she tells your friends what you did. This often why I encourage guys to cold approach more when first starting out to lessen the repercussions of failed interactions. Anyway hope this information helps you.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

I enjoyed this article.

Starting conversation is good, but I find that many people that I meet (me sometimes included depending on my emotional state) tend to be more of a responder to energy rather than givers of energy. So at least one conversational partner (preferably both) need to be givers of energy in order to get things flowing well. In other words, someone has to bring the conversational sexy to the table.

Being high energy is my goal, but my issue is I usually run out of things to say, not because I'm scared but sometimes I do feel a little awkward speaking to strangers, and not only that sometimes people just bore me and then the conversation goes stale and that's it. What's a good way of thinking about this problem so I can reach your level of "i don't need anything from you, I'm just here being high energy?" Usually I feed off of other people for being energetic, and if they're stoic with me then my I find it hard to maintain an energetic state.

So I want to fix this problem and become more of an energy giver. since you seem to have fixed the energy problem what are some good strategies and conversational threads (i.e. open ended questions, or cool & sexy topics) that you recommend to give me the maximum chance of getting a good conversation off the ground with repeatable results? I mean not everyone will be interesting to talk to, but I want to do my part to maximize my side of the coin and so when I start rejecting other people (to go find someone more interesting), I can know I tried my best.

Please help.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

Finding things to talk about in the moment is going to be your best bet. Using situational openers especially at a party is beneficial. People don't want to talk about the boring every day conversations such as "Where do you work at?" or "Nice weather, huh?" These will be questions that drive people away from you and get the "get away from me" responses. I find the best questions to ask people to get them ramped up are:

What are you passionate about?
Do you have any hobbies?
How long have you been doing that?
Are you a risk taker?
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Are you spontaneous?
Are you a good dancer?
Do you think your life is exciting?

The last two can be used to weed the conversation into something very sexual. "Women relate dancing to sex." - Will Smith in Hitch
"If she can't dance she's rubbish in bed." Example - Girl Can't Dance

I know guys that when they ask if a girl is spontaneous and she says yes, they kiss her. Now they do that when they're isolated of course. You never want to make that strong of a move when her friends might be watching. Now as far as dancing you can make comments to girls such as "I bet you look good on the dance floor." If she asks why, make a comment about her hips or her legs. "They say women with long legs are great dancers. Look at her legs or better yet touch them if you're alone and look her in the eyes. From there you can feel the magnetic energy and the connection between the too.

Closing thoughts, a real man is able to control his energy and doesn't let people suck the life out of him. When you're talking to some girls, lead the conversation and get them to share their experiences about life. Girls are great at doing this, they will tell stories about themselves. When the conversation dies down, pitch another question feed. Isolate to somewhere private and get more intimate. It will make your life a lot easier once she she's how social and a great conversationalist you are.

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

This seems like great advice. I can't believe it never occurred to me to open a random stranger(not just girls) with a compliment.

Once, I tried asking an opinion and that worked pretty well. In fact, I felt like I was more talkative for a day or two after trying it.

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

When walking on the street or even around town, I just say "Hi". You'd be surprised with the amount of people who will just say "Hi" back. They light up with excitement knowing that someone wants to interact with them. Now sometimes you got people who won't respond or aren't talkative. That's fine, and once you get use to opening your mouth and greeting people, the compliments will flow right out. There are so many times when I see a girl walking, and I just smile and say "I like your dress" or "Those shoes look interesting." Basically, what I'm saying is once you get yourself into a routine your life becomes so much easier talking to strangers. In all actuality, you'll start getting an itch that tell you "I just have to say hi." Have fun with it.

Take care,

Just Dave

Moria Orc #16's picture

Hey Colt,

Well done with this article, I agree with you and can relate to moments at the end of long verbally engaging days when you're just "on fire". I could keep complimenting you on it but I'm just going to get right to my questions.

1. Approximately how many people would you say you'd have to converse with to catch the "fire"?

2. Would it be possible to catch social fire after speaking with just one person? I mean does the social momentum have to be built gradually or can you just get a huge spike from a solid convo with someone?

3. Any tips on not taking things personally and also worrying about what strangers think of you during your interaction? Because it really is MUCH easier said than done.

Thanks a mil,


David Riley's picture

Hey Moria,

Chase has me helping him and the other writers out on the comments.

1 and 2. It really depends on how great the conversation is and the length of the conversation. Because you can run into someone who is such a great mood that it just rubs off on you. I would say more quality of the conversation of quantity, but if I had to choose a number I say 3 to 5 conversations. This is also factoring in your conversations skills. On average for the average person about 5 to 8.

Solid conversations are the best to go honestly. When I first started approaching girls and I was nervous. I would call my brother or cousin in the mall parking lot, we'd talk for 5 or 10 minutes and I would just be on fire. The thing to look at here is the fact I was talking to people who knew me very well. Sometimes you can meet a stranger who just treats you like family and you feel really great as well. This is why I will initially approach people who are smiling or cheerful because it puts me in the frame of mind of "Wow, people do like talking to strangers and they won't bite you." I would also watch body language as well, if someone looks like they're in a rush, they won't have too much time to talk. This goes into my next point.

3. Don't take rejection personally, "Your life will be so much better if you don't let words effect you." - Comedian who's name I can't remember. If someone snubs or rudely brushes you off, just write it off. "Hey, they probably had a rough day." or "Wow, they must really be going through something." Some people just are not extroverts. Along with that not everyone will understand your intentions. This why I ground my openers with everyone. "Hey Fred, just wanted to see how you were doing." or "Hey you had a great attitude and it caught my attention." Just little things like that make a difference. This why people won't be sitting there thinking, "How long is this guy gonna talk."

Take care,

Just Dave

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