How to Have Sex with a Cougar

Ah, cougars. Still a category of woman that every man longs to experience at least once in his life. Every man has a different reason for why he would like to be with one, maybe it’s because their girlfriend had a hot mom when they were younger, perhaps it is due to the fact that they had a really attractive teacher growing up, but, one way or another, there is definitely a certain allure to having sex with an older woman.

Last week, I talked about the “7 Greatest Things About Cougars.” In case you didn’t know why cougars are so great and why so many men covet them, that post explains it. It also explains the potential pitfalls that you should avoid when dealing with cougars.

So now that we’ve started at the foundation — as we always should — let’s talk about how to go through the process of actually having sex with one. Accomplishing this feat can definitely produce a very satisfying feeling in the heart of a man.

Though I should say that it can actually be rather difficult to have sex with a cougar with whom you have a very large age gap through conventional means. And by conventional means I mean day game and night game. While it’s definitely possible (more so with night game), your results will almost always be markedly lower than if you were to approach and try to seduce girls of your own age range or younger.

But that’s not to say that it’s not possible by other means — because it certainly is. So let’s talk about the best methodology and process to go about getting yourself one of these spicy vixens.

There are many ways to skin a cat (no pun intended), but today I’m going to talk about the best methods I know to find and seduce cougars.

First though, it’s important to make sure that everyone is on the same page. So let’s start by talking about who qualifies as a cougar to begin with.

Who Qualifies as a Cougar?

Everyone seems to have a different definition of what a cougar is. That’s fair, because I feel like one’s age really influences the perception of what you qualify as a cougar.

But, as you get a bit older, I think men tend to generally agree that a cougar is a woman who is single and in her mid-30s or older, and is older than you by around 8 years plus.

Though, it is important to say that if you’re an 18-year-old, a woman who is 27 or 28 (or possibly even 25 or 26) could be considered a cougar to you. The process of seducing her would be the same as a man’s in his mid-20s or even 30s looking to seduce a woman in her mid-30s or 40s (or possibly even 50s).

I realize that this definition is fluid, but it should suffice for our purpose here.

Why Would a Cougar Sleep with a Younger Man Anyway?

A woman is in her mid-30s or later. She’s mature. She has traveled, she has a good career, she’s gone through many experiences. She has a good life. So why in the world would she bother sleeping with a man who is in his mid or early 20s?

This doesn’t seem very logical, does it? Then again… are women ever logical? The reason why a cougar would sleep with a younger man comes down to two simple words: sex drive.

Do older men like having sex? Of course they do. However, they don’t have the stamina or high levels of testosterone that they used to have back in the day. Her men are constantly battling with dissipating energy levels, erectile dysfunction, and the stress that comes with aging, family, money, and work. So the importance and prevalence of sex in their life simply drops off. And even if they do go for it, they become more of the one and done type.

And for some women, that’s perfectly fine. Their sex drives begin to drop as well, and they happily progress and accept the lower frequency — and even quality – of sex with the man they are with. However… this is not always the case.

Some women maintain really high sex drives and want their man to be able to give them a wild and crazy experience multiple times a day. Or at least once a day — at the very least. And every man knows that if a woman is not getting what she needs… then she’ll have no compunction with going and finding it somewhere else.

And in the case of the cougar, that’s exactly where the younger guy comes in. Cougars thirst for the virility, energy, and sex drives of younger men. They believe that these men will give them a better sexual experience – like the ones they used to have 5 or 10 years ago.

So if you can put yourself in that position, then you will make her a very happy woman.

Cougars Keep it Casual

As I was mentioning in the last post, cougars really aren’t looking for anything serious. After meeting droves and droves of cougars I have learned that they avoid serious long-term relationships like the plague. And don’t even try to mention marriage around them. Chances are they’ve already had to deal with a failed marriage (and possibly more than one at that). And they also know that 90% of the available men above the age of 40 they’re going to meet are going to be looking for commitment or at least something serious.

However, they also remember full well the freedom and loose living that many younger men carry. So they look toward younger men for these fun, low investment situations.

Cougars Play with a 4th Quarter Mindset

Imagine if someone told you that you had two more months to have sex and then your body would permanently break down and that you would no longer be able to sleep with women.

How desperately would you try to seduce them?

How much farther would you push your comfort zone in order to make things happen with them?

Well this is the exact mindset cougars operate under all the time. Cougars know that they are reaching the end of the line in terms of their attractiveness to men. And they know that their chances of sleeping with an attractive, sexy younger man are precipitously dropping every day. So they want to have as many wild and amazing experiences as they possibly can before they fully enter into the zone of no return (one could call it the “end zone”).

So if you take advantage of their energy and understand where they’re actually coming from, then your job will be a lot easier in terms of actually taking them to bed.

So now that you understand the foundation and mindsets of the cougar, let’s talk about how to go about actually finding one. I will lay out a list of methods that are useful in trying to locate cougars, and I will talk about the pros and cons of each.

Social Circle and Work Circle

Pros:

• Relatively low barrier to entry
• Easy access to decent selection depending on your connections and profession
• Social proof and trust already established

Cons:

• Potentially limiting if you don’t have a big (or the right) circle
• Risk of poisoning the well with people you know

Social circle — most particularly focused on work— can be a great way to meet cougars. Chances are there are at least a few cougars already in your network. So the key is to learn how to tap into them.

For example, one of the easiest fields to hook up with cougars is the education field. Why? Because the education field is full of older women who are stressed out, constantly expending their energy around kids, and usually don’t have time to look for or date men who don’t have some type of immediate access to them.

So these women tend to be sexually frustrated and are looking for the most available men with the lowest barrier to entry. And usually, that means the men they work with. One of my good friends is a teacher in his early 20s and he hooked up with two cougars within just a few months of starting at his new school. It seemed kind of odd at first, but, when I really thought about it, it made absolutely perfect sense.

And this certainly wasn’t an anomaly or contained trend. It seemed that interschool hooking up was definitely a norm for a lot of schools in which I had friends or acquaintances who were teaching. But, that being said, the education field is not the only one where you can find sexually available cougars. Any field in which a woman is stressed out and doesn’t have time to meet men her age will be a prime breeding ground for having sex with cougars.

So do keep that in mind.

Clubs and Lounges

Pros:

• Cougars will be looking their sexiest and best
• If you’re younger, chances are you will be out and about anyway
• There’s already alcohol and music to provide social lubrication

Cons

• Usually many more logistical challenges to deal with
• Cougars will screen younger men much harder in clubs/lounges
• Their shields will be up and friends will be there to potentially cockblock
• It can be hard to sit down and talk if you’re in a club
• It will usually require some type of monetary investment

The chances of you meeting a cougar at a typical bar are not very high. Cougars are women who enjoy life, or want to enjoy life by getting back out into the nightlife scene. However, most of them will have already spent many years of their lives in your conventional college bar. So you simply won’t find many cougars in these places because they often search for a change of pace.

When a cougar goes out at night, she is really looking for one of two things:

• either a) to show off, dance, and feel sexy in front of younger guys in a club
• or b) to find a guy to connect with and possibly go home with in a lounge

Your conventional bar really is not a good place to provide either of these things, which is the main reason why you won’t find cougars in these environments.

However, just by their nature they will more often frequent the higher scale clubs and lounges. I give preference to the lounge just by virtue of the fact that it’s easier to talk and actually interact with people in. But either way, you will usually find yourself facing a mountain of challenges when trying to pull a cougar from the night venue. Her friends will be extra suspicious of a younger man, and she will feel somewhat strange even if she is attracted to you.

This is not to say that it’s impossible, but it is much more of a challenge than if you were to deal with a younger woman. Just imagine all of the normal challenges you would deal with in a night venue with a girl and then add the extra pressure of a massive age difference and even potential maturity differences… and you begin to get what it’s like trying to pull a cougar.

Your best bet here is to try to grab the number and follow up with her when the winds are more favorable.

Online Dating

Pros:

• Highest number of cougars
• Discreet
• Not free, but fairly cheap
• Fairly good returns given a good profile

Cons:

• Not free
• A great expenditure of time
• Takes away from in-person game

If you’re truly set on trying to get a cougar, then online dating is quite honestly your best bet. Not to say that online dating can ever replace in-person game, because it can’t, but many cougars are flocking to online dating sites in order to discreetly and efficiently meet the best younger men that they possibly can.

According to my research, these are the best cougar dating sites out there:

• Cougar Club
• Cougar Life
• Cougar Dating Club

These seem to have the top reviews, and I actually know a friend who uses one of them and says that it’s great, so if you’re really serious about bringing a cougar (or maybe more) into your life then this can definitely be a very effective method.

Now that you understand the cougar mindset and you know where to find one, the last piece to put together in your seduction puzzle is actually taking one home.

Because cougars play with a 4th quarter mindset, logistics shouldn’t actually be a problem most of the time. Much of the time they will actually facilitate the two of you getting together and having sex, because they understand that they have no time or energy to waste.

So it is much more important to focus on your qualities and how you come off to cougars, as they will be scrutinizing you much more for sexuality, style, and personality than on your ability to close.

What Cougars Look For

Sexual Prowess. This is probably the most important factor that cougars look for. A lot of cougars get really frustrated because they’ve spent years having mediocre, infrequent, or even downright bad sex. So if you can show them that you not only understand that all women are naughty, but that you will have the ability to give them orgasms, then they will definitely put the effort in toward making something happen with you.

Maturity. Cougars expect that most men in their early 20s will be very immature. Although they want someone who makes them feel young again, they don’t want to have sex with a boy. So if you can show them that you’re mature, then your foot will already be in the door.

Masculine frame. A cougar just wants a man who will treat her like a real woman.

If You Find One Online

If you match up with a cougar online, then your best bet is to casually get her on the phone first and foremost. Say something to the effect of “I’m definitely loving our conversation, how about we continue it over the phone?”

And when you get her on the phone you can move toward getting the interaction in person. And once you choose to get the interaction in person there are essentially two routes you can take.

1. You can go to a martini bar and try to close from there. There’s something about martini bars that cougars truly love. Perhaps it’s the feel of getting their drink on without actually feeling trashy. Or maybe it’s the sleeker decor. But whatever it is, cougars really love their martini bars. So once you do this, and assuming that you followed the previous tips and have your fashion handled, you should be able to connect with her and move things forward without too much difficulty.

2. You can go for an adventurous date. Occasionally you’ll meet a cougar who actually shares your interests. And although going on an adventurous date is not the best call if you want quick sex, it can be a good call if you plan on spending a good amount of time outside of sex with her. Although this shouldn’t be an excuse not to move fast, cougars will tend to be more forgiving about getting sexual as long as they find a legitimate connection with you and you seem like a sex-worthy man.

The Social Circle Cougar

If you’ve done a good job of being flirtatious with the social circle cougar, then all you have to do is invite her out. My highest suggestion is for a night of salsa – cougars love salsa and a man who can dance. Otherwise, take her out to some classier event or venue on the town.

Needless to say, cougars have a lot of experience with men. So she will know what you are doing if you’re trying to seduce her. And if she wants you to, then she’ll let it happen. But if she doesn’t, then she should do a pretty good job of telling you up front.

Once you get her out, seduce her as normal.

The Lounge Cougar

A whole book could be written on trying to take home a cougar at night as a younger man.

First off, it’s much easier if you have a good bachelor pad to take her to. Then you can make allusions to the art, the lighting, or the view from your spot. And to boot, you can actually back it up. Even though cougars may want to have sex with you, they will definitely call you out on any sort of smoke screening if you take them back to a place that doesn’t make them feel fully comfortable. So having these small intangibles in place will be important if you want to take a cougar home at night.

Also, you have to assuage her fears of having you disappear if she gives it up on the first night. You have to tell her that you’re not one of those guys who’ll just cast girls aside as soon as something happens with them. Cougars usually have had their fill of one-night stands and are keener on finding a guy or two to have consistent sex with.

Finally, you have to work on the friends. Sometimes just telling the friends that you think the cougar is sexy/attractive/amazing can do wonders for you. Or even complimenting the friends themselves can get you a valuable in. One way or another, you have to butter up the friends a bit so they will let you go to work on your main target.

If you can do all this, then invite the cougar back for a classy nightcap. As usual, if she’s into you – she’ll go. If not, she won’t. But as I stated earlier, it’s much easier to get a cougar in a one-on-one situation and try to go for the close than trying to barrel your way through the obstacle course that is the cougar night situation. But, if that’s what you want to do, then I commend your efforts!

Cougar Hunting

So now you should have a good understanding of the cougar inside and out. You know what motivates her, you know what she’s looking for, you know where to find her, and you know how to bring her home.

Now the only question is… when are you going to start?

Carpe diem,

Colt