The path to independence and confidence is not safe inner monologues, but your ability to face your anxieties and become strong enough to start cutting those inner monologues off.
You have to expect to move beyond safety and face off against greater anxiety. It is a hard path, but it is a path to forging a stronger identity, and a stronger identity will make everything come a lot more smoothly.
We all start out “feeling safe”, and think things like “improving is for those other guys”, and we grow comfortable feeling superior to them. You might have found yourself after a long day starting to drift into thought patterns where you try to lift yourself up by tearing others down in your mind: “He is just a fool”, “She just is superficial”, “If only they were smarter they would have seen my value.”
Ironically, however, this feeling of safety and superiority doesn’t help you out; it just cements weak behavior patterns and leaves you likely to have poor coping skills in future situations.