I slept with a girl recently whose hands I pinned above her head during the act with one of mine. As I did this, she got visibly more excited, and said, “It kind of feels like you’re raping me.”
To which I whispered, with a sly grin, “And you like that, don’t you? That’s because you’re a dirty girl.” She crossed over into a peak of sexual excitement at this, and climaxed shortly after.
I was thinking about this, and about how much girls like being dirty girls (or at least thought of as dirty girls), and then thinking about the fact that women often consider me a dirty man. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t want to freak out readers who are still coming out of their sexual shells, but there’s not much you can do with girls that I won’t get a kick out of. And they always love all it themselves, of course.
Even before we make it to the bedroom I’m dirty though; I say dirty things to women I haven’t slept with yet, and to women I’ve just met. I touch them in inappropriate ways in inappropriate places. I laugh off some hygiene “rules”, and act a little impulsively and don’t know anything about popular culture fixtures they plan their lives around. I don’t remotely fit into their little neat life plans, and they can’t get enough of it.
And it strikes me that one of the subconscious dividing mentalities between men who do well with women and men who do not is this enjoyment at rolling around in the dirt... being at home in it. Because most men want to be clean, organized, and on-point, not loose and dirty. Dirt – and loss of control – frightens and reviles them. Dirty stuff SHOCKS and appalls them.
Yet this is a bigger signal to women about where a man ranks in the sexual hierarchy than you might think... and being uptight about cleanliness and orderliness and maintaining social politeness rules is just one of those things the kinds of guys girls long for aren’t. Mr. Über Sexy of 50 Shades of Grey-ville and Mr. Neat-&-Clean of Tidyville are two very different people, and you get one guess as to which one women want.