Many men think women leave them for a Bigger, Better Deal: a richer guy, a better-looking guy, a higher status guy. But hypergamy is not why men lose women. Instead, it's something else.
The other day, a friend shared a YouTube video with me from a guy on a channel called Entrepreneurs with Cars. The guy in the video (his name's Richard Cooper) seemed like an intelligent, thoughtful guy who genuinely wanted to help men, and I couldn't help liking him.
He made some points about women leaving men, and men's need to be aware this might happen, I thought were perfectly solid. He also has a bunch of nice little quippy phrases, like, "she's not yours, it's just your turn," and, "a woman should be a compliment to your life, not the focus." This is useful stuff for the ordinary clueless man to hear, although the advice is imperfect (I'll discuss why below); regardless, it's going to help wake a lot of guys up.
However, in this video, Cooper attributes the tendency of women to leave men to something you see strewn about the red pill / manosphere community: hypergamy.
That is to say, a very manospherian variety of hypergamy, better described as, "She's always looking for the Bigger, Better Deal."
It is when you stop chasing excellence, Cooper says, that women decide they're through with you.
You can watch the video here:
Women might not leave right away if you stop chasing excellence, he says.
Maybe it might take a while.
Nevertheless, once your pursuit of excellence ends, a countdown timer starts, during which you can either get back on track or get left in the dust.
Is this right?
Well, it's close... but it's no cigar.
Because it is not, in actuality, hypergamy -- nor even the end of chasing excellence -- that causes women to leave.
And there is indeed a cause, and it is indeed something you can control for.
However, the actual cause of why women leave is, in fact, something else.