A Girl's Commitment Is Honest, but Not a Promise | Girls Chase

A Girl's Commitment Is Honest, but Not a Promise

Chase Amante

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commitment in relationships
The vast majority of relationships don’t last, though they begin with sincere commitments. Let’s take a look at why that is and your options for dealing with it.

A good friend of mine is experiencing a 7-year drop with his girlfriend after living together for many years, even supporting her as a performing artist in an expensive west coast city. My friend had discovered Girls Chase after struggling somewhat through high school and college. While he didn’t have it as bad as some, he still missed many opportunities with girls who were interested in him.

Soon after discovering Girls Chase and working out his system of cold approaching by night on weekends, he started to develop a decent pickup and close rate. Once guys find a working system AND good momentum, they generally have a quick period of extreme success and many wins all at once. Often, a guy’s attractiveness and vibe are SO high and SO good at this time, that girls WILL want to rope them into relationships.

My friend is quite careful and picky, though. He enjoyed being single and picking up women. Then one night, he met a REALLY attractive woman. Instead of picking her up that evening, she gave him her number and they went on several dates before having sex. This soon blossomed into a monogamous relationship that would last seven years.

As with most monogamous relationships, girls want increasing investment from a man from the first moment until the day things end, whether by choice, mutual consent, or death do they part. After being together several years, she moved in with him on the premise of wanting to be together forever. The couple also agreed that they didn’t want kids.

While my friend was in this relationship, he didn’t stop studying Girls Chase and other materials about women and relationships. With an extremely inquisitive and process-driven mind, he learned MORE about dating and pickup after getting into this relationship. However, he was prevented from using his knowledge for self-benefit; his relationship wouldn’t allow for it. My friend felt trapped. He wanted to date other women (at least for sexual satisfaction), but he couldn’t.

As with every relationship, women want more investment over time, so the pressure increased with my friend, especially at the 4–5 year mark. His girlfriend wanted to take their relationship to the next level, to formal marriage (that's what her friends were doing). She talked to several friends in open relationships and proposed opening her relationship with my friend to help increase the spark they felt with each other. As I noted, my friend already felt trapped, so he was on board with this idea.

This opened up room for his girlfriend to “explore” as well. Women and men mostly desire different things, of course. Men (even very emotional ones) are more driven by physical appearance, and women (even very practical ones) by emotional connection and social dynamics. My friend was allowed to have extra sexual partners but no emotionally involved relationships. His girlfriend was allowed to go on dates with men but not have sex with them.

This setup only stalled the underlying issue: forward progress in their relationship. Girls always want more than they have, and a relationship either keeps progressing through growth (usually led by the woman’s paradigm), or one gets trapped with the other (leading them to support or resent each other), or it ends.

This is how relationships transpire.

Comments

Eug's picture

Some good insights here but I'm sorry, the premise of the article is a bit silly. You're using an example of a girl who was with a guy for 5+ years, wanted more commitment and seriousness like marriage (nothing atypical, especially considering they were living together and together for over FIVE years), and so, naturally ... she started to look elsewhere for potential suitors who's interest more closely aligned with hers (something more serious, and she was obviously not as young as she used to be). Using that as an example of how women say one thing but change their minds later is a bit silly.

Yes this is true but this is not a great example. The only difference here is that instead of breaking up or cheating first to find an alternative suitor, they opened things up first. Any normal woman if she was with a guy for that long and started to sense that he still wasn't ready for marriage (and she was) would be incentivized to start looking elsewhere, and you can't blame them for this.

Hum's picture

You're missing part of the point. There was a time where she wanted to live with him forever, this commitment was done without any talk of marriage. Perhaps you might say its implicit, but this was a girl who didn't want kids and was cool with an open relationship and was a creative type. Point stands that women make commitments in the moment, and for the majority of them only external pressures (kids, financial, religious) will see those commitments honored.

I think the double standard here is that the guy also reneged on his commitment by wanting to bail to fuck other women. Can't have cake and eat it too.

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