Do Not Compare Yourself to Women | Girls Chase

Do Not Compare Yourself to Women

Chase Amante

Hey! Chase Amante here.

You've read all the free articles I can offer you for this month.

If you'd like to read more, I've got to ask for your help keeping the lights on at Girls Chase.

Click a plan below to sign up now and get right back to reading. It's only 99¢ the first month.

Already a GirlsChase.com subscriber? Log in here.

c1
women have it easier
"Women have it easier." Well sure, in many ways they do. But YOU are not in competition with women.

There is a thing I have seen online (not so much in real life, but perhaps I'm not socializing with the right guys for it in real life) where guys complain about how easy women have it or how much XYZ thing favors women.

I'll give a few examples of this:

  • "Women don't know anything about how hard it is to approach guys. Men approach THEM! Why do men have to do all the work?"

  • "Dating is all about what the woman wants. Men have to do all the work of planning and wooing and courting a girl. The man has to make all the moves. Then if he messes up, the woman walks! How is any of that fair!"

  • "The law is completely stacked on women's side! If a woman wants to screw a man over, she totally can! As a man, you are a second class citizen!"

Are these things true?

Well yes, they are. Men do have to do all the work of the approach. Men do have to do all the work of the date. Men do get ditched if they mess up with a girl, often (but not always. Girls will cut you some slack if they like you). The law does often favor women (though not quite to the extent most men's rights activists seem to think).

I guess if you are arguing for a change to cultural norms, or the legal system, it might be worthwhile to complain about this stuff and get a movement going.

If you're on Girls Chase though, I assume your primary objective is more success in the world as it exists, and not so much becoming a political activist to try to change the world.

You might well be a political activist too. But that's not why you are here.

If you're here, it's because you want girls.

And if you want girls, stop comparing yourself with girls.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Mike's picture

I needed to hear this so bad man, you have no idea how much this helps me. Thank you!

Bizzy's picture

I have never thought of women as being my competitors. Men just get angry that they aren't able to catch most women. Women are like birds, they are hard to catch because they have something most animals don't have: wings. Ocassionally you can catch a bird on the ground, if you have good skills, but it usually takes another and bigger bird like an eagle to hunt a smaller bird down. So in this example it's like the majority of men are snakes, dogs, lions etc but only a few of them are able to catch a bird regularly, hunters who have the same ability birds have.

Mmmmkkkk's picture

Life isn't fair for anyone. Nor is it easier for women. Men have their struggles, and women have theirs. 

J's picture

the inevitable end stage of that progression is Girls Chase outlawed

this already happens. when I try to access girlschase using non password protected open wifi at my gym or bank, it blocks your site 

Author
Chase Amante's picture

J-

Well, that's not good news.

Which country?

Chase

Noah's picture

I needed to read this. Lately I've been frustrated with my progress then started internally complaining about all the work I've had to do, with my fundamentals, my text game, getting women on dates. Been flaked on a few times and got pissed about how I am doing all this stuff and I felt I was getting harshly punished for the smallest screw-up. All while an attractive woman just needs to step outside and show her face to get a man. But even while complaining, I consciously knew that bitching and moaning will get me absolutely nowhere. It will just make me bitter and interfere with me having a strong, positive mindset.

Women also have to deal with lots of stuff that we don't have to as men. We have different  experiences when it comes to dating and it's useless to compare ourselves. Thank you for smacking some sense into me with this article, Chase.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Noah-

Glad it helped.

Remember too, with the attractive woman comparison... just because she can get a man, does not mean he's a man she wants.

It's hard when you're starting out, but you will reach a point where you are getting women consistently enough.

And at that point, you will start to have women who know you complaining to you, about how easy it is for you with women, and how hard it is for them with men.

At first, you won't understand, because you will say "What do you mean? You see me with women, sure. And I see you with men."

Slowly it will dawn on you that you've reached a point where you can fairly consistently get for yourself women you are happy with. While the women complaining to you are getting men, but not men they're happy with.

You'll also start to notice the women you date consider themselves lucky for having you. "Why do they consider themselves lucky to be with me?" you'll wonder.

Then you will realize: compared to the other guys they've had, and the other options they have with men, they got quite lucky with you.

And you will realize you have the ability to go up to any woman you want, and maybe get her.

Meanwhile all women can do is wait around and hope they luck into a good enough man taking interest in them.

Eventually you will arrive at a place where you feel kind of bad for women, and would never want to be one.

Because while men start out with it a lot harder, they at least have the option to make things a whole lot easier for themselves if they're willing to put the work and sweat in.

For women, they start out waiting and hoping, and they end up waiting and hoping. There's not much a woman can do to change her outlook away from anything more than "waiting and hoping."

Chase

Risenin2019's picture

I agree with you, a man's only adversary are other men but right now, the issue is we live in a society of too many men. In an ideal society, men make up 30% of the population or 40% at max. Right now, men make up closer to 50% which is not ideal. This is why you have American women and women from societies where men are common acting like total cunts and entitled, the reason is that there are far too many men to go around. Now this means more men to spoil them, boost their egos, and let them get away with it all.

 

I think in order to fix whatever mess we are in as men, the male population would have to be reduced significantly in future generations or we are heading for a shitshow.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Risen-

Yes, this is true.

You actually don't need that drastic a reduction in male population numbers.

The 1950s housewife phenomenon came on the back of probably no more than a 5% reduction in the marriageable male population. And it turned women from the wild women they were in the 1920s and 30s, who disdained marriage and called wedding rings "handcuffs", into women who only went to college to get their "MRS degree" (Mrs. -- to find a husband and get married) and plunged the U.S. age at first marriage from 24 down to 20, as young women rushed desperately to marry a man so they wouldn't be left high and dry by waiting too long and aging out of the marriage market.

Doesn't seem like we're too likely to have any large scale international wars at the moment though.

So those ratios we have now are probably here to stay.

Which isn't to say you can't find areas with better ratios. You absolutely can...

Chase

Gumiki's picture

This article has me begging the question. If society dictates what a woman wants, than what the hell is it that woman actually want? Do they desire this life of fulfilling societies and men’s needs? Or is that just another thought we impose on them? How do we know for sure what woman actually want? I’m pretty sure you answered this in another article, but it feels contradictory to say woman lack any independence. If that’s the case, why haven’t men made a society where every man gets happily laid?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Gumiki-

Well, if you really want a head spin, ask yourself how much society decides what men want, too.

Because it is just as much as what women want.

Look at guys in environments where there aren't enough women. The fewer women there are, the faster men's standards plummet to the point where the existing women who are there seem downright beautiful.

I've talked on GC a few times before about Navy ships that deploy for 6-8 months at sea with only a handful of female crewmembers aboard, the rest all seamen, and how at the start of deployment no sailor wants anything to do with those unattractive women, while by the end of deployment even the ugliest chick on board has 10 suitors.

I moved from the city with the 2nd ugliest people in America to the city with the 1st ugliest people in America (as rated by HotOrNot), back in 2006, then to the city with the 1st most attractive people in America a year later. After I got used to standards in my new city, I looked back at the women I liked from my old cities and found myself saying "Wow, most of those girls were really nothing special." But for those towns, those were some of the hottest girls around.

Environment (and society) has an enormous impact on people's mating behavior. It's the single greatest factor, in my opinion.

If you travel enough, you will find locations where women are extremely, extremely easy. And other locations where they're damn near impossible. In the very easy locations, there are always environmental/social reasons why they're so easy, and likewise in the difficult locations, again, environmental/social reasons. And the men are affected at the same time the women are.

American men on average prefer either fluffy/kinda chubby women, or they're super into fitness chicks, just because those are the options you get in America. Women with a classical figure, where they aren't fat and they aren't muscular, and they aren't super skinny -- women with nice breasts and butts, but also tiny little waists -- for the most part do not exist in the U.S. anymore. If you watch American TV from the 1960s, those women are all over the place, but they're mostly extinct in America today. If her body holds enough fat for breasts & ass, she will have belly fat today too. If she's skinny, it's either because she works out or has skinny genes, in which case she's not going to have breasts, nor a butt (unless she works out enough to have big glutes). So American men don't have this body type as a preference, for the most part, because it's so rare there. Instead, their tastes adapt to their environment.

People adapt. They do not even realize they are adapting -- it's a totally unconscious process.

They make the best of whatever options they have available to them, and (usually) content themselves with them.

The only way to be aware that adaptation happens is to travel enough and live in enough different places you can look back and see how different your tastes and standards were when you lived in different places with different mating choices available to you.

Chase

Add new comment

The Latest from GirlsChase.com