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Some types of flakes are easier to deal with than others. Let’s talk about the tough ones, like when she’s not that into you or she’s testing you to expose weakness.
As a guy, you’ve likely experienced this scenario: you get excited about seeing a girl who agrees to go on a date but end up feeling frustrated when she flakes on you. It makes the process of getting her out again much more complicated. A girl flaking on a date might seem like a big deal, but it shouldn’t be.
In Part 1 of this series, we covered how to recover from a flake when “life” happens and interferes with her plans. Usually, it’s simply a matter of comfortably rescheduling the date.
However, sometimes it’s not so simple.
As mentioned in Part 1, girls flake for one of three reasons:
- She has a legitimate reason and wants to see you but can’t at that exact time
- She’s not interested enough and is waiting for something better (you're a backup plan)
- She’s testing you because she senses some weakness
Part 1 covered the first reason. Now we’ll cover the other two. You’ll learn what to do when she’s not interested enough and how to react when she tests you.
Unfortunately, these two situations are a bit more complicated. They indicate that the girl wasn’t interested enough or you made mistakes early on. Any mistake a guy makes will drop a girl’s attraction for him. Most of all, if he didn’t create enough attraction when meeting her, his options are limited.
Some guys are naturally good at texting and can create attraction through messaging. If you’re one of them, that’s a great skill to use in flake management. I’m not one of these guys, so I can’t comment much on what to do there.
Other times a girl will sense something is “off” about you, and will instead test you to see what you’ll do and how you’ll react. This is also not an optimal situation, usually surfacing because a guy did something wrong.
So let's talk about solutions.
Comments
Dying relative and family emergency
Second place with a woman is first loser.
Never involve your feelings and emotions when dealing with women. Start acting like a shark from that show "Shark Tank". If she's not offering anything beyond friendship and beta male roles, I'm out. Number deleted too.
With family emergencies and sick relatives, I delete the girl immediately as if she used any other excuse. Sometimes it helps to tell them if they try to come back around (you weren't in first place if this happens) that you made plans with other women. I had 2 chicks from online do this, never met up, blocked both.
Give a flake only one chance. If they come back, there better be a BJ being given. If it was all a test (which she wouldn't do to Kawhi, Lebron, Steph, Jokić, and Giannis by the way) she'll make it up to you. It's often low interest.
My attitude is I want a woman in my life, but I don't need one. Especially one who is disrespectful. Ever heard of a "woman of her word"? I sure as hell haven't.
Isn't it amazing how it ONLY TAKES ONE TRAIT to cost you a date or a job offer? Even something like being a Libra, cheering for Ohio State, preferring Lexus over Mercedes, or owning a Samsung instead of an iPhone can cost you.
Throwing away all the bad apples is piss easy. It's getting and keeping the good apples that's the hard part.
For all intents and purposes, family emergencies and sick relatives before a date or sex warrant number deletion. You don't know her and she obviously don't have interest. She'll call back if she has interest, but move on and don't hold your breath. Matter of fact, anything other than a YES with the matching actions for it is a NO and get treated as such. Shut off your emotions and you'll be better off.
Texts
Using smiley faces at every single opportunity contributes to the perception of neediness and weakness from the girl's perspective.
Also: "Hey J - Yikes, that does sound really rough! Sorry to hear. Are you close to him? =P"
I recoiled reading this sentence, because it makes you look like an absolute git. You sound completely insincere and uncaring in your tone. This is made evident next when - despite her excuse - you try to set up a date nonetheless. Better off saying: "I completely understand, call me when things get better" , you're buying into her possible petty excuse - but ending in a very assertive way.
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