Sexual shame can debilitate you in bed, or make you fear intimacy (or feel bad about it after). However, there are 3 effective methods to overcome it.
On an article of Tony Depp's about reasons guys can't get laid, reader Anonym requests a piece on sexual shame:
you wrote "I was surprised how many men were ashamed of their sexuality." I wonder why do you wonder. The question for me is how can someone not to have sexual shame? What is more interesting that although this is a big topic which deserves series of articles, there are almost no articles about it on GC. There are many great detailed articles about huge amount of topics, but not about this sexual (and emotional) shame. There are articles about how to sexually liberate women, but not about how to sexually liberate yourself. I believe this is a big problem for many men, whatever the reason might be (conservative family background, religion, emotional traumas or feminist campaign against sexual violence). Perhaps an idea to consider. I believe I am not the only man who would appreciate it.
I liked the topic. So I guess I beat Tony to the punch here.
There are, very roughly, two kinds of shame associated with sex:
There's sex regret, in which an individual has sex, then feels bad about it after. Sex regret is where you do the Walk of Shame after a night with someone you kind of wish you hadn't spent the night with, thinking back.
And then there's true blue sexual shame... in which an individual feels embarrassment often even so much as just thinking about sex, let alone pursuing it/engaging in it.
These two kinds of sexual shame are different sides of the same coin. Some part of the individual believes sex, or at least the sex he's thinking about or engaging in, is wrong.
Because he feels it's wrong, he feels ashamed to have engaged in it... or to have considered engaging in it.
In other words, sexual shame is the guilt or embarrassment an individual feels after engaging in a sex act, or when considering sex or being around something sexual in nature. This shame or guilt traces in most cases to a religious or ideological upbringing that implicitly or explicitly portrayed sex as 'dirty', 'irresponsible', or 'wrong'. Sexual shame, unaddressed, can lead to side effects that range from sexual dysfunction to depression and self-doubt.
If you're reading, I assume you don't want sexual shame.
Today we're going to talk about what causes this shame. We'll talk about the effects it has.
And then we'll discuss what you can do to free yourself of it.