How to Be an Asshole – and Become Adored by Women | Page 2 | Girls Chase

How to Be an Asshole – and Become Adored by Women

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

If you've paid much attention to the men that women gravitate towards, they're pretty much all assholes.

Yeah, sure... deep down, they may actually be good guys. "An asshole with a heart of gold", for instance.

But, they're still assholes.

how to be an asshole

If you yourself are not an asshole though, adopting some of the traits of a guy like this so you can be an asshole can seem like something of a mountain to climb... society keeps telling you not to, but women's obvious mate selections over and over again keep telling you differently.

In "How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men", Michal asked about the path to embracing one's inner asshole:

Hello, Chase.

This kind of question usually never pops up so I am just gonna ask. How do I become more like a jerk or an asshole? I am too friendly basically, because parents and such always told me to be kind and polite and nice. Ugh! :-s

I dont want to seem as an ass at the end but... I have been trying to be more playful lately, trying some wit and I experiment with my female friends and they seem to enjoy it OR dont get it. And when I meet new girls I am this little kind person again because I dont want to seem awkward.

So how can I stop being viewed as this "kind and good hearted man" who "has no evil in his soul" as I once heard and have better personality that women respond to as if I was a man. Not friendly boy?

My fundamentals are bad and I am working on it but this is my biggest flaw right now. I am ok to have female friends, but I dont want every girl I meet to feel like I am her long lost friend from childhood.

Any possible advice? I guess move faster and dont miss "the windows"?

Thanks in advance.

Let's talk about jerks and assholes, then - and what it takes to be one.


Pablo's picture

Hey Chase,

Just wanted to let you know I really like the recaps you added to your articles, Cements the article a little bit better in your mind.



Bassel's picture

Hello chase!
i'm really glad and thankful for your articles, i don't remember a time asking myself "what's just happened?!" between me and girls anymore after reading them.
and one of those things is finding the gap between the nice guy and the guy from douchepagistan that i was doing both simultaneously, there was a gap between those two and i knew i should find it A.S.A.P because i think what i was doing is something called Schizophrenic disorder!!, but not anymore now after reading (teasing girls the right way) article and then coming into this one.
my question is about the point that you recommend keeping away from making fun or teasing a girl in anything personal about her (in teasing girls the right way), while in this article (point #3) you teased her on being fat and making fun of that!, isn't that the opposite?
like do you mean that if a girl craved a compliment from me on her new hair style, dress, shoes, etc... of personal things, i should also use Point #3 while replying?, and if not- or you have anything else to say about that, could you explain further?
thanks in advance

Chase Amante's picture


That's right - if she's specifically inviting a teasing comment by trawling for compliments on a specific (personal) characteristic, that's fair game for teasing. You will rarely want to violate the "don't tease on personal characteristics" rule otherwise, though - far too easy to put a girl who isn't inviting it into hurtful auto-rejection.


Bassel's picture

Thank you a lot Chase! very helpful Info

there is another question i have about the difference between the real-life and internet dating that's regarding the comparison the girl will make between the guy that she met via internet dating websites and the ex-boyfriend she used to have, will she still give more points to the ex if he was a person who she slept with around 2 days or less after meeting (not through internet) against the guy she met through internet and had a normal period of 3-5 days getting to the first date ?

Thanks again

Ken's picture


Thank you so much for this article. It has changed my life. This subject has been a massive mental barrier to my personal growth. I feel like I can finally break free from the shackles I've been held down by.


Anonymous's picture

Hello Chase, really like your input in your article! My questions is, iv been dating this girl for 4 months and she ended it with me because she lost feelings for me at some point and couldn't go on because there were no more feelings. I know you might say move on but I pretty much love all the qualities that she has and we would really be happy together, I realized I was too nice especially after reading your article.

How can I become the asshole that she apparently likes, gradually I mean. Like if we reconnect at some point, I would like to show her my new me and have her be impressed and attracted to me again, if you can give a few examples as to how I could act if we go out or just how to behave.

Please let me know, I look forward to your wonderful insight!

Anonymous's picture

I agree a lot with most everything you have said in your article the only thing I can say about this is that it's great for getting into a woman's panties. But this isn't exactly the best relationship advice mainly because you're being someone other than yourself. And your true self will come out eventually and it will feel like a lie while you wait for that to happen. But other than that yeah this is definitely the way to go to get laid.

Hallo Raff's picture

Hello Chase, great article. I have completed all the steps on becoming ad
asshole. Majority of the chicks at college reger me as an asshole (Ugh he's such an asshole) but they still say hi and keep in touch with me.

The problem is now, is that I dont know how to approach the girl that I like? Should I approach her kindly to ask her out? or with the asshole behaviour? should i call her to go out with me just like that? how do i show this girl that I like her without being friendly? I'm not in the friendzone, and I don't want to have any chances to be in there. I just don't know how to ask her out. Should I show kindness and politeness or maintain the assholeness?

your answer will be much appteciated man

Insidious_Sid's picture

Haters of this can't handle truth. This is very well presented material, in that it's mature and differentiates between being a thug (complete a-hole) and being "just enough a-hole" to get the job done, and balancing being genuine with sufficient a-hole to get the job done. When haters challenge these things, they always offer this scenario as a total dichotomy, which is patently false: either a guy is a total thug (who is openly malicious) or he's a simp, chump or wimp (who is *covertly* malice and only pretending to be nice). This belief is what women use to conveniently explain why they cannot resist a-holes, when in fact, it doesn't MATTER why they can't resist a-holes. Thus, whether or not a guy is ACTING nice or is GENUINE and nice matters NOT one BIT especially to modern women under thirty. "Nice" is a sexual death knell, especially for generations following Gen X.

I really like how the author gives solid advice on how to up your a-hole game without believing you need to be a thug, bad-boy or callous heart-breaker. A large part of relating to other people is about how you act and how they react to you. I think people (me included) are nice not because they are ONLY nice people (many are) but they are nice because it's an easier way, with less conflict. It's just easier, and more comfortable. Women don't like men who are weak and avoid discomfort. Women like men who get teeth knocked out playing rugby or speaking their mind even when it creates tension.

10/10 read. Link this and send to all of your beta male "nice guy" buddies. This article is spot on. You don't need to become a career criminal to be attractive to women. You just need to know what makes them tingle and do that, and what repels them and NOT do THAT.

Anonymous's picture

so im dating a girl i was normal a mix of asshole and gentleman, but then we started dating and i stopped being an asshole and know shes saying she misses how i was but i just feel like i forgot how to be an asshole can you give me some help she tells me to be rude but not insulting

Gambler's picture

So here's my situation, there was this lady I've been friendly with, and for months we're at the buddy-buddy level. My problem is that I have romantic feelings for her and early on she picked up on this but like an idiot I followed through on them and admitted them. Now we're still friends and all, but I showed signs of being the beta-male, the all too nice/polite person to her.

Over the past 3 months we've been having a sexual relationship with eachother but recently I made another dumb move saying that I liked her a lot and wanted to move the relationship forward. Again, my mistake is that I'm asking and being 'polite' and 'honest' which has led to the downfall of my sexual adventures.

Right now we're not talking with one another cause I said I need time to figure some things out. I need help getting my friends with benefits relationship back, as well as cement my presence in her life as a primary interest.

She currently has no desire to move on to a deeper relationship and that's fine with me.

My question is, can I fix this, not just getting the friends with benefits back (she with-held sex as a means to 'protect' me from getting hurt) but also sparking an interest in me romantically.

I've known her for a year and I do have feelings for her, but I want to learn how to hide them while making progress with her. For now I'm just spending time away from her.

Anonymous's picture

I am amazed that there are ANY "Nice "guys left. If a guy is a decent person but not "cocky" or "brash" he will not do well with women. In that case why would he continue to approach them, flatter them, be nice to them? It makes no sense. If these women are not going to date you, hold you in utter contempt and would not piss on you if you were burning, why would you even talk to them?

Jimbo's picture

There are nice guys because most smarter men know that life becomes more enjoyable and worth living if we treated each other better and not be obnoxious dicks when there's no need to be.

When it comes to girls, you just gotta play the stupid game because that's what thousands of years of evolution in ruthless environments wired them to be attracted to in males.

Anonymous's picture

I'm a girl and I hate to admit it but you are 100% right.
I don't know why this work but it does. Especially when you (as a girl) are used to people being nice and accommodating.

The last guy I dated did exactly everything of what you described in your article. And it drove me crazy. It hurt on many occasions though.
So although you might be getting what you want just know that at some level you are hurting the other person. If you really like them, gotta balance it out.
My guy kind of went overboard and started attacking my self esteem. Nothing I did was right at some point and as much as I was attracted to him I tried to explicitly resist him. He began to feel toxic. Like you can't resist him but you try everything you can to. A girl can easily end up hating the guy if it's not balanced out correctly,

In any case very accurate article. I wonder what is the equivalent for girls? How do we achieve the same effect on guys?

Jimbo's picture

I think even if people around you weren't nice or accomodating, an asshole would still be sexy.

The female equivalent is being a bit of a vain/superficial bitch or a bit skanky. But not too much or too often, because then you won't be seen as long-term material.

Sarah John's picture

Hi. This is such a brilliant article. And I am a woman. Can a woman use these methods? I think, because of gender, I get called a bitch. But if you examined my actions, I'm more of an asshole than a bitch.

Jimbo's picture

See my response to "Anonymous" above.

Jimbo's picture

To respond directly to your behavior, you could use those things, but they'll have more of a neutral effect in terms of attraction; that is, they're not turn-offs, but they're not especially turn-ons either.

GoodLooker26's picture

This is a great article, wow! These are some very solid tips - you definitely know what you're doing. I'm going to share some of my experiences and concerns with the 'asshole' thing.

I'm a good looking guy with a well paying job. I, along with many other woman would describe myself as a catch. Naturally, I'm nice and confident, however, I can play the asshole card if I want to. Whenever I do play the asshole card (ignoring them, mixed signals, flirting shamelessly with/checking out other women) these women fall madly love with me (WTF). When I'm nice, they're kind of so-so about me. I honestly don't get it. I don't want to be a scumbag but it seems like I have to if I want a decent woman. Maybe I'll just give them up all together - porn is pretty sweet nowadays anyways.

Luis's picture

Just simply ask her (without coming off as desperate obviously) to have her set you up with one of her friends. Either she'll be totally down for it or she'll get jealous and eventually tell you how she feels about you. Pretty much a win win situation.

Moses's picture

Personally. I've always been the "Nice guy". A few weeks back. Due to my owned stupidity a person I've known told me "why didn't you ask me out?". Perhaps it was due to my "niceness, and gentleness". So either way I lost this girl physically and socially. I did try to get her, but well let's just say things didn't end way. So after that friendship brake up. I noticed that perhaps I've just been to nice most of my life. So i've just been filling my ego and learning to put my asshole face on.

Jimbo's picture

Actually, one doesn't even have to go full asshole before reverting to being the "okay asshole" you detailed. I've always done most of the things you mentioned before I slipped into full-dick mode from time to time -- like #1 for example, I do it because if I don't I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and it'd just bug me whenever I'd think about it later on.

Full assholery is not sustainable anyway because you get shunned for it, and nobody likes to be shunned by too many people. I know that because I've lost a couple of friends for pulling a few dick moves on them and was too proud to apologize even though now I wish I did because I was blatantly at fault. Also, when you go full-dickhead, you get that look of contempt and disgust from many people and you can feel like a piece of shit because of it even though you pretend you don't care. Anyway, it's not a good place to be and not worth the pussy you get for it. Better just to stick with the things you mentioned.

But you know, I think this social opprobrium (general shunning, contempt, etc.) isn't such a bad thing because it keeps shitty behavior in check in society. Because if it's not kept in check, it just becomes an unpleasant place to live in. And no one wants to live in a society with too much shitty behavior, shitheads included.

Jimbo's picture

Just realized I used a little too many swearwords. I got a little caught up with the writing...

mike's picture

bro i knew this routien worked i had seen it but be cause of this im no longer to much of an ass hole im in the middle and if you dont belive this works than get of the page

Alla's picture

I'm a woman, and the "asshole" you describe here does indeed sound attractive. It also sounds kind of nice to BE an asshole. So I have a question here. Does it work the other way round? That is, if a girl behaves like an asshole, does it make her more or less attractive to guys?

Jimbo's picture

Yes you'll be more attractive... if you do it in a miniskirt lol. No actually these things are neither sexy nor unsexy coming from a woman, they're kind of neutral. It might make you more fun or more interesting though to be around which could raise your value as a girlfriend interest.

Franklin's picture

Hey Chase, I've managed to get many girls to show visible attraction for me. But it eventually expires. I notice that its because I'm not fast enough. I'm to timid and nice. I will become a jerk and i know i can do it. It seems like this will be fun since i have a beast thats dying to be unleashed. I just want some more tips on how to be a jerk cause i feel like im going to go overboard. Not doing any favors, making fun off people, just speaking my mind. Please give me some guidance. I appreciate it you're the best.

Ralph's picture

Hey Chase and guys,

Great article as always. Thanks for that.

I been thinking myself about my attitude and I found out I sometimes go full asshole, then apologize. For me full asshole kinda breaks her confidence so badly and I have to apologize. Then the apology makes me show my soft side, as well as building some extra rapport.

Let me know, what do you think of this...


militarybrat51's picture

I disagree with the opinion that manners and being polite makes one a subordinate male. I am Texan I come from an armed society you know 2nd Amendment. We are polite and well mannered we do not tolerate disrespect we assume everyone is armed including women.

Ask the people that know me they will tell you "make no mistake he is not a nice guy he is a very kind man well mannered and polite". I have been called an asshole as long as I can remember it's called being a man. The last few years Texas has seen an influx of California people fleeing high taxes. They have a very hard time adjusting to the life style many men have ended up in medical facilities due to bad manners and disrespect. Here is the most common excuse for what happens: " I didn't do anything wrong I don't know why it happened".

Anyone that makes the mistake that I am a subordinate man because I am polite and well mannered has already lost the battle by underestimating me that includes women. My first warning to them is this "I don't take kindly to bad manners or disrespect" if they persist they get what they have earned. I am very adept at insulting people that takes them 30 min. to realize they have been. Don't judge a book by it's cover open it and find out what is in it.


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