GIRLS CHASE MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION
• Unlimited access to GirlsChase.com
You've finally gotten that beautiful girl you'd been dreaming about being with in bed. Her clothes are off; she's wet, and she's ready. You drop your jeans, lower yourself over her, and go in.
You begin to thrust - in and out, out and in. She feels great; and she moans - you know it feels good for her too.
Then, the unspeakable happens: you'd been hoping to give her an incredible performance...
But instead, your body doesn't listen, and you ejaculate into her inside of minutes... maybe sometimes even seconds.
She's obviously disappointed; you're obviously humiliated. Why does this happen to you? Why can't you just make it stop... and be like one of those stallion-like men in the movies who go for hours and hours?
You know she's rethinking her decision to go to bed with you; even as she tells you it's okay, it's fine, not to worry about it, you know what she's really thinking: He didn't seem like the kind of guy who was going to have this problem... what a let down.
Why does early ejaculation happen - and what can you do to stop it, and how do you learn how to last longer in bed?
Comments
I have a confession
Man, this AND the performance anxiety article. It seems you're preparing us for the final level of seducing a beautiful woman.
I have a confession to make, Chase. Although you wrote an article on "porn", I admit i still have a porn addiction.
I quit for awhile after the eye opening post. But now I'm right back in my old ways. I've noticed that it always happened whenever I get sooo close to getting a girl and then I somehow mess up. I get sexually frustrated and turn to porn and masturbation to ease it.
It's embarrassing. Even though, I try to talk myself out of "thinking" about sex, my imagination and excitement dial up and it happens. :/
Anything specific I can do?
Also, one other question.
Since thinking about climax makes a person climax. Is this true with girls too?
Like for instance, can we make a girl climax faster by making her think about it?
We all know how long they take just to cum, and I've always considered it a success if you were to get a girl to cum fast. Do you have any techniques for making them *think* about cumming?
Wes.
(oh yea, i realize that you may have already answered someone else who asked but could you possibly post a link of your old LRs and FRs. I'm really curious about your past adventures and what I could learn from them)
Porn, Climax, Reports
Wes-
There's not really much more I can say on porn addiction - everything I've got on it is in that article!: "Break Your Porn Addiction and Sleep with Real Girls Instead."
Think of it like breaking a habit (since that's what it is) - it takes time to do, you'll suffer set backs, but just don't get completely discouraged and you'll get it eventually.
On climax, that's hard to say. I haven't heard anything along those lines with women, nor have I tried anything like that. I suppose it might be possible, if you could get a woman to really think about climaxing. Certainly women who are more experienced orgasming have an easier time of it and cum faster and harder, and women generally need to "learn" to be orgasmic (unlike men, who might have trouble the first couple of times they have sex at most, but figure it out pretty quickly after that). It might be fair to speculate that one of the differences between an experienced woman and an inexperienced one is that the experienced one know what climax thinks about, thinks about it more on her own, and becomes more excited and anticipatory as she feels the various stages of sex, bringing her nearer and nearer to orgasm. Not something I've talked about with a girl though, so that's just a guess.
My old reports were all on boards that are shut down or defunct these days, but if you grab a copy of my eBook, there are two very detailed reports in the annex at the end walking you through what a few typical bar pickups look like.
Chase
Ok, and what about keeping
Ok, and what about keeping you erection? it happened to me couple of times when you have sex longer
Maintaining an Erection
Anon-
That's another one that gets helped a good deal by staying in the moment, but if you start to fatigue from that, you can make yourself visualize climaxing again. That'll generally get you rock-hard in a snap.
If you're going REALLY long, sometimes the only way to do this (unless you're going to gradually condition yourself to go for longer and longer) is with a little blue pill - I have friends who've taken these to go for 4 or 5 hours straight.
Chase
articles about sex
Hi chase this was a great article
This website is the best when it comes to pick up,relationships and human psychology. However the one weakness of this website and the internet in general is that there is a lack of practical articles about how to be an exceptional lover. Most articles on the internet focus on mentality and the importance of stamina but there is minimal information on actual technique. I humbly ask that you and your team release more articles on this because i believe alot of men and women who would benefit from this.
Re: articles about sex
Boyo-
Duly noted. I have a few articles in the queue on sex as-is... we probably should be getting more up on sex than what's up now. There are a few gaping holes I can think of off the top of my head (foreplay, squirting, BDSM, STDs, dirty talk in bed, role-playing, etc.) that could use article treatment.
Chase
I must confirm that 5 step
I must confirm that 5 step mind process in Rush of PE section. When I was trying to minimize my masturbation, I usually had to do it at one point because I was really horny. And all I could think of was basically "inpregnate her", "put baby in her" or even things like "she is thirsty, she wants this" and I was just looking on a picture of some girl smiling. I was done in a minute and the process in my head was the same.
Then I slowly started to examine this more, focusing on the girl more as you mentioned that "being present" kind of thinking. Because I found it as a big problem so I started to focusing on letting go as late as possible. Problem I am fighting right now is when she moans and I can feel she is enjoying it and wants more... it turns me on more and I sometimes can not control it and my "inpregnate her" thought gets in the way and I have to pause. And I am not really sure how to fight this. Maybe I just need more "training" because I remember now that I sometimes started to focus on something like "prepare for more pleasure in a minute" and maybe it sets the future time in my mind and I get lost there.
Things I do, it is usually focusing on the rythm and breating actually. Maybe it works for me, because I am still bad at it and my sense for rythm (as in dance too) is really bad so my coscious mind has to focus more on that. And when we have great sex with my girl, I usually think about it whole as climb on the wall, I just want to reach the top before I allow myself relaxing.
And other times I am so horny that I can't really contain myself, but the girl undersntads, which is great. :-)
Thanks for the article though, I did not find myself being able to relate this much to anything here since summer.
Oh btw. I am not sure now what pace I should follow. I understand that every girl likes it differently, but I usually go animal and thrust fast if I see she is horny. And I take it slower when she needs to be turned on more first. I am not really sure if it is what I should do because sometimes it works and sometimes the end result is not great, it is somewhat good, but not great.
Michal
Moaning
Michal-
Yes, moaning's a tough trigger to get around, especially when you can tell she's close to climax. Putting yourself into the future and saying something mentally to her like, "I know what YOU'RE about to feel!" is the only thing I've found effective at combatting this as well, although it brings you out of the moment and can kill some of the passion / ferocity of the sex. The only surefire way around it without having that happen I find is just being well-sexed, so that she can moan all she wants and you're still just mildly amused and fully in control.
When I was still learning rhythm, focusing on that kept me distracted enough for girls to cum, yes. I didn't start to have my problems with cumming too quickly until after rhythm went automatic for me, and it freed my mind up to think about other things (like, ejaculation). At least for me, that was when I really had to batten down the hatches and take control of my thought process during sex.
On pace, either can be good, though usually furious and passionate is better for getting her to climax (so long as you aren't wearing yourself out, that is... a tired man makes no women cum). If you're not sure at ALL what pace to go at, try a little tantric sex, which is basically 9 shallow thrusts and 1 deep thrust, then 8 shallow thrusts and 2 deep thrusts, and so on and so forth, until you get down to 1 shallow thrust and 9 deep thrusts. Personally, I find by the time I make it down to that number, most girls are ready for you to tear into them as animalisticly as possible at that point.
Chase
Re:Wes
Wes,
I had a struggle with porn addiction for a long time. It didn't really hit me until I recently saw the movie, "Don Jon." I had become very desensitized to real women (which is why I'm glad I found this website) and knew my body/mind was not performing correctly. So I set out to fix this.
There's a couple of websites I looked into as well: yourbrainonporn.com and nofapchallenge.com. There's alot of good information on why porn and jacking off are not good for your body as well as your brain/neurological functioning. Reading all of that was enough for me to swear off both.
I'm about a month into no porn/masturbation and it's easily one of the best decisions I've ever made. For one, I have alot more energy and vigor. I'm also more confident/socially aware. Although, the first couple of times I've been with a girl since then I couldn't get it up, probably because my body was getting used to no cyber/self stimulation. That all changed last weekend when I bedded an old friend in town for a football game. She probably never thought of me before as a sexual person, but that all changed drastically.
It has worked so far for me, maybe you should give it a try at least.
Age
Hey Chase, I'm in high school and I have no problem cold approaching women out of school(mall, stores, etc..) but the women are usually around 18-22 which is a couple of years older than I am. I have a pretty solid build and voice as well as facial hair and women always think I'm just around their age so when I do hit it off with one, I can usually keep it going. So my question is, should I just say I'm around their age and just go all the way with them ot tell them the truth which I have tried and it resulted in them either becoming friends or not talking at all. Btw, I do also talk to many girls in high school. And if you need an article for high school, I'd be glad to share some experience I've acquired through high school.
Thanks,
Royce
I asked this on another article so I only need answer to one, thanks.
Hooking up with a friend
Chase, your advise has lead me to a better understanding of women and a lot of my former mistakes, and after scanning several of your articles I feel like I'm ready to practice the techniques I've read about on this site. But everything I've read from you that applies to a beginner such as myself seems to be geared towards meeting new women, coming off as the most incredible person they've ever met. My question is how do I build a sexy, mysterious vibe with a girl I'm familiar with? We don't regularly hang out but we see each other at school everyday. I feel like I already know anything I might learn from a good deep dive, or being a good conversationalist. I know once I get her into bed I can blow her mind, but as a beginner is there anything I can do to improve my chances leading up to that point?
Re: Hooking up with a friend
Chase-
Feels weird addressing someone with the same name as me. Well, I guess it is becoming more common these days...!
If you've known her for a while, the problem you're dealing with is basically fighting precedent. She has a set image of you in her head, and you occupy a specific place in her life if she's familiar with you and has known you for a while. That's somewhat problematic, for a variety of reasons.
I'd recommend reading this for context:
... and these for some possible escape paths:
If you absolutely CAN'T get into a faster-moving mode with her, if you really dig her, there's still a chance you can use date compression to land her as a girlfriend if she's open to dating you "officially" and considering you as a boyfriend candidate - see these articles:
Chase
Niceness
Two part comment
I know you can be nice to a girl without flirting, but can you be flirting without being nice?
And the second part is when you talked about knowing what you want and going after it (in a previous post) that it was incredibly attractive to women. But how would you get her to see that? How would you demonstrate that?
Thank you!
Niceness and Direction
Anon-
Somewhat depends on how you're defining "nice"... you can "tease" girls brutally, in a definitely not nice way, that still raises sexual attraction and tension by the bucketload, though when you do it in a combative (as opposed to a cooperative) way, you put yourself on a very delicate line: there is some EXPLOSIVE potential for wild sex there, but you're a lot more likely to end up sending her into auto-rejection instead. It's very polarizing.
On being decisive / knowing what you want and chasing it down, it bleeds out through your words and actions. If you know what you want, you're going to command her much more firmly and assuredly; you're going to move faster and escalate with her far more rapidly; and when you encounter tests and objections, you'll handle them with ease and adroitness, because they're merely something to be leapt over in pursuit of your goal rather than something to stand around dumbfounded and stare at, like what most guys do with them.
Men who don't know what they want are much slower, less sure of themselves, less aggressive, and more willing to let the women they meet call the shots and control the frame. Men who know what they want have no time for these things, and take charge and lead women instead.
Chase
Chase How long on average is
Chase
How long on average is a good time to go for so that the girl has a great time and considers you a great lover? 10 minutes? Half an hour? 1Hr!?
Is it always possible to make a girl come?
How much emphasis should be placed on foreplay and going down on her?
Much talking during sex?
Ty
Sex Questions
Ty-
In answer to your questions:
As long as it takes to give her a great experience. This can be 5 minutes if she's thoroughly aroused beforehand and you make her cum hard again and again 5 minutes in; or it might be an hour of experiential sex with an orgasm at the end or not. Alternately, you can have 5 minute sex that's terrible, and hour-long sex that's boring and forgettable, too. Time has little to do with it; the experience is everything
Not always, especially if she's very inexperienced. See here: "3 Steps to Help Her to Orgasm from Sex"
If you're not that skilled with penetrative sex, a lot; if you are very skilled with penetrative sex, and can make her orgasm this way, then as little or as much as you care for
As much or as little as you like. Try mixing it up for different experiences. If you want to get the best miles out of it though, use it just as she seems to be peaking at any given moment, and watch her ascend to the next level of pleasure as you dirty talk her
Chase
Two more things
Chase,
Those are all good techniques you've mentioned there, especially number five. To these five I'd add two more:
1. Breathe deeply and smoothly. When guys finish too quickly they're often breathing really quickly/shallowly (pay attention next time and you'll probably find this is true). Breathing deeply relaxes your body, slows everything down, and can also help to take your mind off of finishing and help you live in the moment.
2. This is perhaps related to #5 and a no-brainer, but when you're in the bedroom just have fun and don't worry about it. She's lucky to be seduced by a sexy man, and if she's still wanting more you can always finish her off with one of your other "tools".
Hello, Chase. I have a theory
Hello, Chase.
I have a theory and just wondered - on my way to school I started to meet a girl that friendzoned me. Her reason was "I see you as a friend but I like you". Now... I think she senses something is different with me and seems curious. So I did not really answer anything directly she asked, I wanted to keep my "new me" hiden but I guess it is not invisible to her. Is it possible for me to build enough intrugue that she becomes attracted? That I could start flirting more and then at some point make a move?
We were having class together, talking a lot, but yea, as friends, sometimes I teased her but it was occasionally. After the semester I wrote her "my honest opinion about her" as a goodbye becasue I thought we will never see each other again. Now, after a year, I am meeting her every Wednesday on my way to campus.
I dont hope, I take it as a lost case, but I just wonder. I understand people can change, feelings might change. I changed fashion and got a little more muscle, am calmer and slower and focus on nonverbal communication with her now. I used to focus on conversation a year ago and was clumsy.
If so, should my move be more direct because in my "honest opinion" I basically confessed how great she is personality-wise and physically, fashion, kinda everything ?:-/ So.. set some chase frames, then sexual frames and use what Alek was talking about in his sex talk as how it is unfair how women cant go and just have sex with anybody? This is what I have in plan, I am not really sure about that but my attitude is to find out! :-) For acquiring more data for my learning!
Jonas
Friend Zone
Jonas-
Typically, you want to shy away from telling girls you like them, especially in non-sexual contexts. It's very different from what the kinds of men they fantasize about and lust over (edgy, Byronic, devil may care men) do.
That said, it's not impossible to climb out of the friend zone, but it's a lot harder work than what you'd have cut out for you with an equally attractive girl who's only just meeting you but you do things correctly with and don't have that negative / platonic precedent set with.
I'd recommend this one for context:
... and these for some ideas about what you might be able to do:
Chase
Woman's orgasm
Hi there,
I have something to say to the question about getting a woman orgasm faster. I can only talk about my own experience, not sure how it is for women in general. Now, I was practically unable to orgasm in penetration until I reached my 30's. Then I learned it, very suddenly, and now I cum EVERY time. Very easily. And not only that: I cum multiple times. As many as 28 have been counted in a row, and I also can reach orgasms that last for several minutes. Just imagine the change... Imagine my bliss! :D
For me, thinking about orgasm was not the answer. If cumming is difficult for you, you might get obsessed with it and somehow so nervous that you cannot reach it even if you otherwise might. On the other hand, not thinking about it at all didn't seem to work either. The key for me was something rather physical. Whenever I masturbate (and I have always been able to climax this way), I keep my muscles very tense towards the end and this seems to help. Somehow the tension "makes" the orgasm. However, when in bed with a man, I realised that there is another way. First, you tense yourself long enough to get the feeling, but then, when you're close enough to the climax, you suddenly release all the tension. It has to be very sudden. You relax all your muscles, like you were passing out or something, and then the orgasm just happens.
If your woman doesn't seem to reach orgasm, tell her to try this one. Of course it requires a few things. Firstly, she needs to know how to use these muscles (but no need to be very specific there, just tense and then relax all muscles in your body and you probably get there). It helps a LOT if she masturbates, so always encourage your woman to touch herself! Secondly, to be able to give her this suggestion, you of course have to be able to talk about these rather intimate things with her. I hope you can. It's a huge help for you both!
Well, there WAS another thing, too, that helped me to get there. I met a new lover who is a sex god. :) No, not really. He just has this wonderful technique of orgasm control, based on some tantric methods I think. He can last as long as he EVER wants to. One hour, two hours, three hours. I'm not kidding. During this, he can reach several "orgasms" which he seems to feel very intensely but without ejaculation. I'm telling you guys, you would like to be this man. :D He makes me climax, he makes me scream, but that's just the goddamn beginning. Then he just continues his nearly violent thrusting, my orgasm goes on and on, and I just scream and scream and try to get away because it's too much but he keeps me in place and keeps going. Talk about being dominated.
Let us all learn more about these things. Sex is one of the best things in the world, isn't it? :) And sorry about my English. It's surprisingly difficult to talk about these things in a language that's not your mother tongue.
I love you man!!
Hey Chase,
This comment is not a request for an article or something I need cleared. It is a word of thanks and deep appreciation for all the work you and this site does. You have phenomenally changed my life! And this last article just pushed me over the top to write to you just how much in debt I am of you.
I am nothing but utterly grateful to you. You have changed the lives of guys like me,transforming us from hopeless losers obsessing over mediocre girls to powerful men growing in every sphere of life and taking the most beautiful of women as lovers along the way. Yes, that's a powerful realization I've had reading and applying all your articles- that powerful men have other important and much bigger goals in life than a relationship with some girl and yet take the best of the girls of their choice to bed whenever they feel like.
Since I fumbled across this site here in India, I've been a regular follower, learning and recommending to every friend interested in building himself. And the transformation they go through is phenomenal! All that you teach is universal I guess, and applies all over the world to each and every girl.
It's like a social service you've done for us, educating us to be real men out there in the real world, something no school or college or parenting could have ever done.
So just keep posting. Your 10 free articles per month are just perfect unlike those lame ass programs littering the internet asking for money. And the stuff they teach is worthless! Trust me. I've downloaded lots of stuff (leaked or hacked or as torrents) from these dating sites.
Though it's true one should never do something he's good at for free, but doing it so that people can learn and then pay for more if they feel like is a class act. Classy enough to turn permanent fans out of people like me and into wanting to pour out our wallets into your programs once we start earning. (I'm just in my 2nd year of college!).
Thanks a ton chase!
It is all about technics
Way to complex what is described here.:)
You have this two kinds of feeling levels during sex. 1. The good old in and out and it feels nice. 2. The point where you start to get real aroused and you about to loose controll till you finish.
You feel the second part comming slow. And during the beginning of that you are able to stop that and get back the level 1. And there are several ways to do this.
One is to just breath our deeply till your lungs are really empty and focus on that. Mostly the arrousal is gone for a while.
If you are already to arroused you can push in to the maximum and keep on pumping in the same rythm but without really pulling in and out. Then your jhonny does not get stroked and the arrousal goes back, but its still good for the lady.
Another option is to start circling with your hips during going in and out. Still good for the lady and some find it expecially interesting, but you are so busy with doing that movement that the arrousal goes back.
And of course you can allways go very slow for a while. The women will think you are teasing her but you can use that time to "cool down".
By the way. Here is not written a single word about foreplay. The hornier the women is the faster she comes. If you are afraid you will come to fast, play the forplay till the point where the women is already short before comming herself. Also compliments during sex and telling women how much you want them are getting women way more arroused then the act itself. Sex for a women is 80% in her head and 20% in her body.
And last but not least: Beer! :) There is no man who can not last much longer after two or three beer.
All that "thinking about baseball" stuff is bull. :) Sex should be fun for both and not work for the men and only fun for the lady. Its not somehow our "job" to get the lady to climax. Its allways a gift you should give with pleasure.
I agree but...
I liked reading your advise, I agree that focus of your thoughts has much impact. When masturbating the main reason we do that is to orgasm. So as an effect, you come fast if you want.
But masturbate, reaching climax, and then the phone rings, your focus changes and the feeling to climax stops. Cuz your attention is suddenly focussed on the phone ringing. So during real sex, changing your focus will help, staying in the moment and focusssing on sex helps too, just don't think of getting an orgasm.
But having said that, I experienced an odd situation (lasted a few months actually) that I could not climax. I wanted it, really did, it's all I wanted but even masturbating or really good sex didn't do the trick. Till this day I have no clue why it happened. After a while it got better, and I could orgasm again.
So your mind has a lot to do with it. But sometimes the brain is out of wack haha. Coming when you don't want it, or not coming when you do want it. Some things in the mind stay a mistery.
All the best.
PE experience, need help
Hello Chase,
I have read your article about PE and how to stop it and I found it very useful, but I have some concerns which I would like you to help me personally if you are able. I am eighteen and I once "suffered" from PE since then I have doubted my skills in bed. Last night I talked to my gf about that and she gave me a support about it and we started with romantic sex and I kinnda got my excitement level down and I lasted for an hour and she had reached climax and I wasnt even close. And the next morning we were kinda tired but wanted to do it anyway. We skipped the foreplay and got right onto it. But when ai started I emmidietly felt I will finish and I took it out and I was thinking about not cumming and I could feel my penis knocking like a heart and then came... I admit I didn't breathe as I should do or focused on the moment, but will focusing on the moment and breathing stop it from climax next if it happens?
Thanks for your reply :)
Leave a Comment