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Welcome back to another episode of Dating Mechanics! I’m Varoon Rajah, and today we explore a topic that frequently comes up on the Girls Chase boards – the question of dating your dream girl as a minority.

Our brains are super good at talking us out of doing stuff, even good stuff. Here’s how to switch roles and talk your brain into shutting up and getting laid.

We’ve all been there. You see that sexy creature and you want to approach her, but that little voice starts chirping, “All these people will see you. You don't want to come off as creepy, do you? You can try again tomorrow when you're in a better state. She’s on her phone, you don’t want to be annoying. Yeah, let’s try later.”

Excuses, justifications, and avoidance. The more you think, the less you do. The less you do, the more you think. It’s frustrating. It feels like you’re a broken man, especially after watching all those infield vids on YouTube and reading all those Girls Chase articles that make it sound like common sense, like it’s so easy. But it’s not, is it?

When guys ask me what I think about when I approach, I tell them “Nothing.” And it’s true. I try to do all my approaches and everything that happens after as close to “the moment” as possible. And I’m pretty successful at it. But I wasn’t always so awesome.

The first time I went to a bar alone for the sole purpose of pickup – 11 years ago – I completely froze. I was in a room full of sexy women, completely packed, shoulder to shoulder. The longer I stood there, the deeper I went into my head. The excuses just piled on top of each other.

• “Everyone is here with someone, except me.”

• “They all know each other, and I don’t know anyone.”

• “They’re all looking at me.”

• “They know I’m alone – and terrified.”

Blah, blah, blah, excuses, fear, etc.

And even worse, I’d spent all night memorizing pickup routines. But as soon as that adrenaline spiked, approach anxiety overwhelmed me, and I either forgot all of them or convinced myself that I had because I was too terrified to try.

It’s amazing how great your ego is at talking you out of improving your life. It makes you think that by approaching women, you’re going to somehow die – a social death at least.

That summer night, I pedaled home through the humid Montreal streets on my bike, and I told myself, “Never again will I go out and not at least try.” But things didn’t really get better until I met a guy named Steve Piccus at a local seduction lair meeting, who claimed to be a master hypnotist. He was famous for being featured in the book The Game.

Steve showed us a simple meditation meant to clear our minds of chatter. He called it “silence the tongue”, the tongue being the voice that goes “Blah, blah, blah,” keeping us from achieving our goals. That short lesson, delivered to a room full of lonely, horny men, changed my life.

Want to know a perfect way to get social proof, pre-selection, and women fighting over you… all in the comfort of your own home? Throw a house party!

My late twenties were some of my most glorious times. I lived with a bunch of hipsters in a huge apartment in downtown Vancouver. I was going out night after night, practicing my game, and though I was collecting loads of phone numbers, I was finding it hard to bring these girls home at the end of the night.

Being a girl is scary. Men are big, hairy, and horny. For a woman, the idea of going home with a guy she just met at a bar or on the street might bring forth visions of an American Psycho-esque chainsaw massacre. They literally risk their lives every time they isolate themselves with a guy. I can’t count the number of times I’ve brought a girl home, only to have her stop on the doorstep and say, “You’re not going to kill me, right?”

That’s why I always flip the script with a preemptive, tension-easing joke like, “You’re not a serial killer, are you? You’re not going to chop me up and feast on my sweet flesh?” Also, whenever I have a date, I try to get her to meet near my apartment and then suddenly remember, “I forgot something at my place.” I bring her inside for just a moment so she can see I don’t live in a BDSM torture dungeon (I wish!). This makes it way easier to pull later, as she’s already been inside my chateau. I call this “priming”.

After one particularly frustrating night, a thought came to me like a lightning strike from Odin. I had this glorious epiphany: “What if I brought them all home at once? What if I primed a whole bunch of girls at the same time?”

Want to plan a second or third date to make her fall head over heels for you? Well, bust out your best cookware and have her for dinner... and dessert.

This article was written in response to a reader wondering what I do to cause a new girl I’ve had sex with to become so infatuated with me that she is willing to see me on a regular basis.

My answer? Invite her over for a home date where you do a cookout together and sex will be the dessert. Follow my advice in this article, and that girl will want to see you multiple times.

I have almost eight years of experience maintaining a harem, so I can answer this question by describing how I plan and execute a meet at my place. Firstly, I only keep top-quality girls in rotation. For me, quality means hot bodies and sexual liberation. (If we were using classic PUA lingo, we would call them super-hot babes, commonly shortened to SHB.)

I will cover the most important aspects of making a girl want to meet with you regularly for as long as you like. This article is directed at you guys that know how to hook and get girls interested enough that they are willing to go home with you.

I’m assuming you’ve already had at least a coffee date with your girl where you made a good impression. If you are curious as how to set up a great coffee date, there are some fantastic Girls Chase articles which cover that very subject. If you made a good impression the first or second time you saw her, she should have no issue agreeing to the home date idea.

Masculinity is good. But a feminine man who is still sexual and dominant offers something uniquely special women just go nuts for.

We focus heavily on becoming masculine here at Girls Chase, because it’s a problem that plagues most men reading this.

You’re probably too feminine.

To define this, allow me to define some feminine behaviors:

• Meek body language: avoiding people’s personal bubbles – if something makes you feel small, it’s feminine body language (e.g., standing with legs close together)

• Words that temper the assertiveness of your assertions (e.g., “It’s just this” or “I was only saying that…”)

• Flamboyant gestures (e.g., rolling your eyes)

• Extravagant clothing (e.g., peacocking)

On that last point, though, strangely, it’s the males of almost every species on earth that “peacock” and display the most colorful coats, feathers, or behaviors to attract women. My argument would be that males are demonstrating their feminine energy to more closely link with women.

This principle, that the feminine attracts the feminine, is the heart of this article.

For a lot of men, though not all, their problem isn’t attracting women. What I’ve noticed, upon reflection, is that I’ve never really had trouble attracting women, even absolute stunners.

What the journey in game, then, seems to be about is:

1. Increasing the frequency and degree of attraction I receive from stunning women (i.e., fundamentals)

2. Learning how to take that attraction and lead it to bed (i.e., game)

Women are, I’d guess, far more attracted to you than you think. I know this because I will go out with guys who are in every sense beginners and immediately spot women who are attracted to them. I tell them to approach, and it goes amazingly well.

The reason they don’t close is because of their game.

Therefore, when I say, for anyone intermediate or below, you’re probably too feminine, I’m saying that you probably attract women you yourself are genuinely attracted to (distinct from doggish horniness), but you lack the male aggression to close the deal. For those who already have that masculine spirit nailed down, we can actually take a journey back into the feminine energy and amplify it to amplify attraction (and also induce chasing).

Feminine behaviors will mostly help with:

1. Tempering your attainability

2. Calming your over-aggression

3. Encouraging women to chase

But before we begin, one note.

Women are supposed to like money. So why don’t nice cars, jobs, and apartments always get men laid?

In June 2006, I graduated university and took a job. I had an important-sounding job at a prestigious corporation. Everyone knew the name of this company, and everyone knew it was a great company. At the time, I had a less nuanced notion of status more than I do now, and I figured my great job for a high status corporation would net me major points on the dating scene. After five months of grinding it out in college town nightclubs three or four nights a week as just another student trying to pick up girls, now, at last, I had the magic pass: I was a high prestige, high status, money-making machine!

My first month in my new town of Washington, D.C., I made sure every girl I met found out where I worked and what I did. I did it in a smooth way; I wasn’t socially awkward about it. I made sure the girl asked me first where I worked, before I said anything. Most seemed impressed; I’d often get raised eyebrows and a pleasant, “Oh!” And when, after a few weeks, I received my business cards, I felt confident I was about to become unstoppable with girls. I often took to handing these out to women after I’d made a great first impression, confident they’d fast get back in touch.

Yet within a month, I’d stashed my business cards away in the corner of a cabinet somewhere; not a single girl I’d given a card to had texted or called (and I’d given out a lot of cards). I quit mentioning my company or position to girls altogether. But I hadn’t learned my lesson quite yet. A year-and-a-half later, I went down the same status symbol road with my sleek Mercedes-Benz, and ended up at the same destination: after a month or so of showing it off, I soon shelved “the Mercedes approach” and began to hide my car from girls instead.

The reason why was the same both times: when women found out I had a good job, or a nice car, they didn’t put out. Dates were more awkward; sex would not happen. Sexual vibes were almost impossible to create.

These status symbols, impressed as my friends and coworkers were, worked against me with women.

That’s the paradox: make more money, buy more expensive things, and... get laid less.

But why should this be, when everything you see on TV, the commercials, and the movies says it’s supposed to work completely opposite to this?

This article comes at the request of a reader, but given that ~40% of men experience hair loss by thier mid-thirties, I’m sure plenty of you will find it useful.

And I would like to start this piece with a graph from a recent survey detailing the most attractive male body parts:

Source: Dr. Felix

Now, as with all similar surveys, the results should be taken with the grain of salt, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

Note the percentage of women who said they find hair to be the most attractive feature on a man: 22%, second only to the chest.

Cool, right?

So, does that mean that once your hair has receded past the point of no return, you’re pretty much screwed? Not at all.

On the contrary, a lot of guys end up realizing that going bald actually improves their look. It makes them look more dominant, masculine, tough – a neat combination, don’t you think?

Just read William Gupta’s thoughts on the topic. (Highly recommended)

For others, however, going bald means that they end up looking sickly, older, or just straight-up goofy and weird.

With this piece, I’ll be sharing some practical tips to make sure that once you make the decision to go bald, you’re in the former category, not the latter.