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Do You Need Good Looks to Get Laid?

Alek Rolstad's picture

Do You Need Good Looks to Get Laid?
Do looks matter when attracting women? Sure, they help, but there are other, much more important factors when it comes to getting laid.

Hey, guys. Today, I would like to bang an old drum – discussing the matter of looks and how it plays into seduction. This is a subject we have discussed to death, but I would like to offer another perspective, or at least broach the subject from a different point of view.

There have been multiple views regarding looks. For example, I’m not tall, and I happen to live in northern Europe, where most guys are very tall. That makes me small compared to most guys. But here’s a funny thing about height – it was never a problem for me to be shorter than most of my fellow countrymen.

When I started learning pickup, I never had to read all the ranting about height and meeting women. I started at 15, so my brain was less polluted by limiting beliefs than most guys. I went out meeting girls and never once has my height been an issue.

I never really thought about it until I started seeing the subject discussed over and over again on forums. Luckily, by this point, my experience had proved to me that it’s not an issue that affects my success. Would it be nice to be taller? Sure. Would it have a positive impact on me? Maybe.

But nobody is perfect, and I won't get taller, but I am now closing in on 27. I still have all my hair, and my hair is very beautiful. I do take good care of it, though. I also have a cute baby face, compensated for by masculine facial hair. According to many women, my eyes are dark and intriguing, yet I never heard a single girl telling me this before I entered the world of seduction.

I am also far from being ripped muscle-wise. Before 2016, I was a bit overweight. People who know me well call it the “fatty” period of my pickup career. I’m still not ripped, and never has that been an issue for me. I have the same success today that I did back when I was a little bigger.

Now, there are many aspects of looks, so let’s start by debunking a common saying we see a lot in the pickup community.

Planning and Tracking Progress Are Essential to Get Good with Women

Cody Lyans's picture

planning and tracking progress with women
If you don’t know where you are or what path to take, you’ll get lost with no hope of reaching your destination. Here’s how to get your bearings.

Over the last decade of coaching guys on how to solve their problems with getting good with women, I have noticed a pattern.

Building a successful style of game is a tough task, and when push comes to shove, a lot of guys give up before they establish a strong baseline and find what truly works for them.

I can see how to scale each individual problem that’s holding a guy back, but I then have to help him navigate around obstacles close to him so that the job of tackling all his issues doesn’t leave him overwhelmed and confused.

To build a successful style of game, you need to find the right plan for dealing with all that is necessary to reach your end goal before you give up in frustration. Revamping oneself into a successful seducer is very doable, but it usually requires much more than addressing just a few simple things. And that’s why most guys struggle with girls.

It’s hard to get anywhere without being able to see clearly where you are, where you’ve been, and what roads you need to take, right? Without that knowledge, it’s understandable that people fall victim to “are we there yet?” syndrome and become hopeless after hearing “no” so many times – and figure they’re better off changing course to familiar territory.

So, in this article, I’m going to explain how planning and tracking progress will help you avoid getting bogged down, frustrated, and feeling like you’re wasting your time. It will transform “are we there yet?” to “I’ve come this far and I know what’s next.”

If You Want to Seem More Real, Show Some Vulnerability

Hector Castillo's picture

seem more real show vulnerability
It’s hard to relate to someone who shows no vulnerabilities – because we all have them. Showing your flaws can make you relatable, and even spark attraction.

The strongest men aren’t afraid to show vulnerability, and it makes them immeasurably more attractive. Vulnerability – and the expression of it by a strong man – give that man depth. It gives him realness.

You want to seem real, because even the most powerful of façades eventually fade. Preempting that revelation of imperfection with an honest display of vulnerability? That’s good stuff.

You will crack. I’ve never met a man who was 100 percent strong and stable. Even the powerful titans I’ve met have cracked in the past, and they will certainly crack in the future, even if I don’t see it.

I know this from being in the presence of many strong men and hearing their stories. I know it because I am one of the strongest men I know, and I crack more than you think. I just don’t always show it.

Until I do.

What’s important is how you express your vulnerability and when. First, let’s go over “good vulnerability” and “bad vulnerability.”

What Makes a Man a REAL Man? (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

This question is very pertinent for our time. As women continue to become more like men and men become like women, those of us who desire to be TRUE men need some direction.

What makes a man a MAN, and not a boy?

The seduction community, the manosphere community, and the red pill community emerged as a reaction to our increasing feminization.

They were necessary and very helpful for many men.

But what they missed was the KEY elements of what makes a man a man – the universal traits.

Yes, men should be stoic. Yes, men should be strong. Yes, men should do X and Y... but these answers are all, in my opinion, too constrictive and simply usher in another extreme.

What I try to explain in this video is a distillation of what makes a man a man in clear terms that hold true to the masculine spirit without forcing any particular ethics upon you that may not fit your personality or your goals in life.

I hope this helps.

How to Pick Up Girls When You're Broke

Chase Amante's picture

pick up girls broke
No woman wants to be with a broke guy. Or does she? With a few adjustments, it's easy to do fine with girls, even when you're broke.

In my recent article on limiting beliefs, a reader named Dr. Klas asked:

"Hey Chase,
Thanks for the article — very in-depth as always.
Now, I have this limiting belief “When I’m broke, I can’t get a girl”. Since you haven’t really written an article on how to get a girl when broke can you please address this issue.

I find that I’m usually depressed when I’m broke and I just close off — or reject myself even if a girl likes me. But when I’ve got cash, I do a whole lot better. Is it a matter of self-esteem?

I don’t know why this is or what to do to prevent this. Should I just tell girls “Hey, I’m having a hard time at the moment” or “I’m broke, I can’t do X”.

What should be our response and behavior towards women when we are broke? I think a lot of guys will appreciate this."

Okay, sure. This is something I've talked about a bit in the past -- picking up girls when broke or unemployed -- but haven't gone in-depth on.

It actually is pretty closely related to the limiting beliefs concept too, because a lot of what seems to hold men back from doing well with women when broke are limiting beliefs (like Dr. Klas's).

One reason I haven't gone as in-depth into this topic before is because there are multiple routes to 'broke'. One is to start out not-broke, then end up broke, which was my route there. The other way is to start out broke and just always have been broke. I don't have experience with the second route, though I've known guys who have been that and have done quite well with women. I can talk intelligently about the first route though -- and I'll try to make the points there as applicable to the guys who get there via the 'started broke' route as possible too.

The Importance of Vibe in Attracting Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

vibe and attracting women
Vibe is a HUGE factor when it comes to attracting women. Here’s how to tweak your vibe to more reliably spark attraction in girls, get them on dates, and into bed.

How important is maintaining a positive vibe when picking up women? Long story short, the difference in results between low-energy or moody men and positive-minded extroverts is night and day.

The best supporting data I know of is my own experience, which, as a dating coach, is varied and vast. But there are some case studies that convincingly illustrate the phenomenon, like this one about the “halo effect”:

 

In the video, two groups of women watch a dating proposal made by the same guy. But the guy makes two videos, one for each group of women. In each video, he uses the same script but with a different vibe.

He’s upbeat and expressive in one version, with good posture. In the other, he’s slouching, not looking at the camera as much, and speaking with a less-enthusiastic tonality.

The women who viewed the video with the upbeat vibe generally agreed they’d be down to go on a date with him. The other group, hearing the same script but with less positive energy, all declined.

Same guy, same script, different vibe (tonality, mood, posture, lighting). One video sparked no interest in the guy; the other sparked attraction!

Since attraction is the key factor here, let’s dig a bit deeper and discuss ways you can tweak your vibe to spark it.

Shari James | Treating Erectile Dysfunction (Podcast)

Varoon Rajah's picture

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we feature a show in development for quite some time with my first female guest – Shari James – who runs a successful coaching practice based out of Los Angeles, CA called Architecture of Pleasure to help men resolve Erectile Dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction is an epidemic among men. More and more guys suffer from it in the worst moments, and guys are trying things like Viagra and Cialis to get hard when they shouldn’t have to. I’ve heard of tons of guys who complain about ED, often at some of the worst times – like right before they’re about to have sex with a new girl.

In my own experience, having gone through this often during one period of my life (in my case, it was caused by deep emotional stress), one of the worst feelings in the world is to not be able to perform for a girl who just got into your bed excited to have sex with you. Oftentimes girls will re-rationalize that a guy actually isn’t that into them because he can’t get hard, and I often got instantly rejected after I had a girl in my bed, got ED, and it just kept on happening.

As we’ll soon see from Shari, ED is more common among guys than you think, and the sources of ED are many, ranging from excessive porn usage, to emotional and mental issues, to circulatory and nervous system functions, and also how guys control and release their sexual energy. I hope you guys enjoy this one, as it’s a common issue that few are open to talking about – especially with a woman!

Should You Go Out Alone to Learn Pickup?

Tony Depp's picture

improve pickup/seduction game by going out alone
Lots of guys are horrified to go out alone when learning pickup/seduction. But once you get over your fear – and you will – you’ll see it’s the best way to get good.

I remember the first time I went to a club alone.

It was Montreal, circa 2007. I’d been into PUA stuff for about a year, taking little to no action other than reading blogs and watching YouTube videos, but I’d moved to Montreal for the sole purpose of mastering my game. I was determined and focused on fixing my sex life.

The only problem was, I didn’t have any friends or wingmen to help me. My normie social circle thought it was a weird and pointless hobby, so I said “Screw it!” and went out alone.

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.
Steve Jobs

That night, I went to a hipster club in the Plateau. It was packed with pretty college girls, drinking, laughing, and dancing with their friends. I stood there and felt all eyes on me.

My internal dialogue chirped away.

They’re all looking at you. They know you’re alone. Why are you here? You should talk to someone. But what would you say? Isn’t it creepy to talk to strange women? Maybe go home and try again tomorrow. Come back when you’re in a better state. You don’t have to do this. Go and watch another video about what to say to women.

Blah, blah, blah. The ego never stops. It wants you to be safe and to fit in with the herd. Feeling the judgmental eyes of all these strangers, I pulled out my cell phone and pretended to talk. Yeah, I mimed talking on the phone. I even acted out a laugh. Yep, I’m not alone! I’m just waiting for friends! Ho, ho, ho… so much fun!

Eventually, I just gave up, walked out of the club, got on my bicycle, and pedaled my pathetic ass home. That night, I made a vow – never again would I go out and at least not try. The next night, I went out and felt those same pangs of terror, adrenaline, and self-conscious doubt. But I remembered my vow. All I had to do was try… so I did.

Travel and Romance: The Wonders of International Friends with Benefits

Darwin Niwrad's picture

Travel and Romance: International Booty Calls
Who doesn’t fantasize about romance when they travel? For all you adventurers, here’s how to combine sex and travel to enhance all aspects of your time abroad.

Every year, I head to Bermuda with my buddies and spend about a week there. It’s quite an amazing place. With stunning beaches and some of the most beautiful women in the world, it is truly the island of hospitality... and it really opened my eyes as to why travel and romance go hand in hand.

The first year I visited, I met a spectacular girl. I spent a day or two getting to know her and, after a long day of hiking and exploring – and an even longer night of drinking rum – we spent some time exchanging stories, dreams, and kisses before finally boarding her ship.

I’m not a fan of sex on the beach, so we went back to where I was staying. Throughout the summer and into the next year, we would consistently text about the good times we had (and were going to have) together.

She had a boat and a place by the water. She knew everyone in town and took me to the most spectacular cliff-diving areas. We went to private beach parties, and I made sure she had a great time with me from the moment I met her until I headed home. After I left, I stayed in touch with her.

The next year, we came back to visit. I’d cut my expenses by half, I’d made tons of friends, and the locals welcomed me back like I was one of them. Now, any time I get the traveling bug, I have this amazing option I know will turn out great.

By collecting international lovers, you broaden your travel plans, and those plans are far more exciting knowing you have a sexy someone there waiting for you.

If you’ve checked out some of the other articles here on Girls Chase about romance around the world, you’ve probably come across How to Pick Up Girls in Foreign Countries. Check it out if you’re not sure how to create romantic encounters when you travel. There are some things you should know and others you should avoid.

How to Create a Personal Plan for Success with Women

Cody Lyans's picture

Create a Plan for Success with Women
Want to get better with women but don’t know exactly how to go about it? Follow these steps to create a plan that makes efficient use of your time and your mind.

How should you go about planning for success when it comes to learning about women?

This is a difficult question to answer because seduction has many moving parts, but to follow up on my previous post, I will describe my process and the questions I use to forge my way through the chaos.

To plan for success in seduction – or anything you want to get better at – try asking these three questions.

  • What do you need to improve?

  • When do you need to improve it?

  • And why?

These questions might seem simple at first glance, but we can only learn at a certain rate. Therefore, to improve at a rapid pace, you want to streamline the process by focusing on what is most important for you at a certain time, with the right purpose behind it. While these questions are simple, there is a lot more substance to them than meets the eye. So, in this article, I will go through a few things that should make answering them an easier task.

Knowing why you need to learn something requires you to understand the broad context. Knowing when to learn something requires self-awareness. And knowing what to improve requires access to technical details and common trends. The substance of these questions is in how you go about developing technical proficiency, self-awareness, and contextual understanding.