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The Problem with Being Authentic when Picking Up Women

Alek Rolstad's picture

authenticity and pickup
We all want women to like us for who we are, but when it comes to picking up girls, there are times to be authentic and times to be technical.

In this final article in my series about debunking useless or counterintuitive schools of thought, we will discuss authenticity.

So far we have discussed the failings of:

Today we will go over a newer phenomenon which I have seen mentioned often lately, even here on Girls Chase – and that is the obsession with “authenticity.”

Yes, it is very important for many guys to seduce girls in a way that is authentic. But it’s not unusual that those who seem to stress authenticity are usually beginners or lower intermediate players. I have never seen such a subject discussed by more advanced seducers. Never.

In this post, I will point out the value of authenticity, but also how it can be a waste of your time and effort.

The Failings of Natural Game – Why Technical Game Is Better

Alek Rolstad's picture

natural game and getting girls
Many seduction newbies get sold on “natural game” because it seems so appealing and, well, natural. But its shortcomings vastly outweigh its value for getting girls.

Since we have been discussing the trends of inner game and debunking certain misconceptions, I decided to write a follow-up on a closely related subject that took the seduction community by storm.

The subject we will discuss is natural game – the idea that pickup and seduction has to happen naturally, depending on who you are, your vibe, and your personality.

Sounds appealing right? It surely does to many, but there are some flaws to this system. I see pickup and seduction as a skillset, with tools to use. Sure, long term it will affect you and how you see women and the world, but initially, pickup and seduction is – a skill.

Natural game looks very appealing to many newer guys for some reason. But there is a reason for why most advanced or skilled guys laugh at it.

In this post, we will try to understand its limitations but also why it became popular in the first place, to truly understand its roots.

Is the Digital Nomad Life for You?

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

digital nomad
Feel like ditching the Western rat race for a more suitable dating environment on a perpetual working vacation? You’re not the only one! They call us ‘digital nomads.’

Would you like to travel around the world? Date sexy, exotic women? Live out of a backpack? Wash your bum with a hose? (It’s a thing in Asia, and I’m quite fond of it.)

I suppose I’m what you’d call a “Digital Nomad.”

Many guys are interested in the “location-free lifestyle.” So I thought I’d share my experiences.

I’m currently living in Bali, Indonesia. Next month I’ll be in Chiang Mai, Thailand. After that, I’m heading to Eastern Europe.

I go where the wind blows and work out of coffee shops, hostels, guest houses, and hotels. I date exotic women and leave them when my tourist visa expires. Sometimes I come back; sometimes I don’t.

Why do I live like this? Well, after many “vacations” to beautiful countries, and having to go back home when I ran out of money, I decided to find a way to stay. So far, I’m paying my way around the world with Skype coaching, freelance writing, and the odd bootcamp.

Why It’s Not Too Late to Learn Seduction and Reap the Benefits

Pierre Navarro's picture

learn and benefit from seduction as an older man
If you think it’s too late to benefit from learning seduction, think again. Whether for bedding higher-quality girls or improving your relationship, these skills are key.

Dating and seduction do not have to be the exclusive privilege of younger men. Older men can do extremely well, too, because we have many good things going for us! But why should we even begin learning seduction as an older man? Isn’t accumulating conquest after conquest a little bit immature and even pointless? Aren’t we past the age for that? Isn’t a meaningful long-term relationship with a woman you like the ultimate goal?

If you are an older gentleman facing these questions, well, let me tell you this: there are several benefits you would gain from learning seduction, especially if your goal is to find a good woman to settle down with. If you are a younger guy reading this, read on, because you’ll be an older man much sooner than you think!

10 Most Common Reasons Guys Can't Get Laid

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

can't get laid
The reasons a guy can’t get laid may be simple, but more often it’s not so intuitive. Here are the usual suspects, some of which you may have never considered.

“Why Can’t I Get Laid?”

After many years of teaching pickup, I can narrow down the reasons why so many guys can’t get laid.

This article may help you self-diagnose some of your inner and outer game issues if you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of no sex. These tips will help you break free and score some lovin’ again – or for the first time.

So here are the top 10 factors I see in guys who just can’t get laid.

The Moment That Propelled Me Relentlessly Forward as a Man

Cody Lyans's picture

experience changes a man
Throughout life, we have opportunities to gain experiences that free our minds and build our character, leaving us forever changed. This is the moment that freed me.

Some moments in life change everything. In those moments, you draw back a curtain that reveals more than you ever bargained for, and it changes you forever.

This is my story of that moment, after which my journey to seduction mastery went ahead full speed.

I have understood this story in my own way for many years, but I have never before been able to truly do it justice until now.

I was discussing this with someone casually today, and for some reason, I found the right words to describe how I felt inside. I figured, why not share it with you guys?

Pickup and Seduction Styles: Which Will Work Best for You?

Varoon Rajah's picture

pickup and seduction styles
New to the dating, pickup, seduction world? Are you overwhelmed by the volume of information? This article will help economize your efforts in reaching your woman goals!

In my last article, we discussed how following conventional methods creates conventional results, whereas following an extraordinary method creates extraordinary results.

Too many follow conventional ideas yet expect out-of-the-ordinary results. Often this behavior creates disappointment and frustration.

A bigger issue is fear. People want to try new things but are afraid of taking the right risks to experience success that results from a tried-and-true system.

There are many different methods and systems men can use to meet and have sex with women. In this article, I’ll lay out all of them for you.

There’s been much debate in the seduction and pickup community about what makes for “great game.” Hardcore night gamers and people into one-night stands find the folks that go after online dating and consistent sex with low effort to be repulsive; meanwhile, the latter folks find cold approaching to be inefficient and inconsistent, putting in too many hours or effort for little reward. Then there are guys who commit to social circles and meet women through friends and their groups. And of course there are those who meet women and have sex by paying for it.

But which path is right for you?

How Physical and Mental Health Impact Your Dating Life

Darwin Niwrad's picture

health is attractive to women
Do looks matter? Yes! One reason for this is because women know that a healthy man – in body and mind – equates to better sex and a more fulfilling relationship.

As part of mastering the art of picking up women, you must master yourself. Taking care of yourself should be a high priority. The mind, body, and soul are the trinity that completes a person. When these three are in alignment, the results can be extraordinary depending on what your aim is. If you’re reading Girls Chase, your aim is probably to attract women.

You’re the one venturing through life, taking in experiences and grooming yourself into the man you want to be. When thinking about your life and health, it’s not only you who notices the improvements and changes. Women pay close attention to your lifestyle as well, because the decisions you make are a vote for who you will be in the future. Your life choices showcase your dominant and attractive qualities.

Really, combining health and life habits kill two birds with one stone. By taking care of yourself and your wellbeing, you are meticulously molding and crafting yourself for the better, which helps attract the women you desire. In a sense, this is a modicum of the Law of Attraction, right?

7 Sexy Hairstyles for Black Men

Darwin Niwrad's picture

hairstyles for black men
A black man’s hair is uniquely suited to exhibit raw sex appeal. These attractive hairstyles are sure to help you take full advantage of that luxurious mane.

For many people, hair is more than just something you were born with; it’s more of an insignia of who you are as a person. For the brothas, the hair is somewhat of a crown. Black men have an urgency for having the best, most intricate haircut and keeping it fresh all the time – from the texture to the shape up, the beard, to the length.

Styling your hair is a great way to express yourself before you get a chance to speak. It’s your outward appearance that people judge first, so if your clothes aren’t fresh, and your shoes are beat, you might as well go for the dope and intricate hairstyle to reel in the women.

Some would think that the hair industry is predominantly marketed toward people with naturally straight or curly hair, or the type of hair that brought about the invention of the flat iron, but with rapid changes in culture, the idea of versatility with Afrocentric hair is huge. What’s grand is that haircuts, just like history, can always repeat themselves.

So here are seven hairstyles that will make an impact on your interactions with women, and that can also change how you generally view and respect yourself.

Conventional Ideas Beget Conventional Results – How to Go Beyond

Varoon Rajah's picture

conventional ideas conventional results
If you do what ‘they’ do, you get what ‘they’ get – but it may not be what you want. If you want more than conventional, you have to get unconventional.

I was just having coffee with an old friend of mine who recently moved back to town. We were talking about his experiences with dating in a city on the US west coast where he didn’t find the quality of girls that attractive or interesting – for the last couple of years, he’s been longing to move to New York City and start a new journey with more attractive girls. I knew he worked many hours each week and spent little time learning “socially unconventional” paths to meet women.

Learning seduction, game, and pickup is one of those unconventional paths that people dream about but few implement, usually out of fear of social repercussion and shame. Yet, my friend did tell me that he attends meet-up groups, speed dating events, and social mixers to meet women – and didn’t like any of the women he met. He tried to enter new social circles and join activities with like-minded people, and he still didn’t meet a girl he liked.

Conventional dating advice that he followed told him that he should look in these places to find single women he clicked with. Much to his disappointment, after attending many events, he was puzzled as to why he didn’t meet any women he clicked with.

Why did so many people tell him to go to these events to try and find women, he asked? My response to him was pretty straightforward – conventional ideas and solutions lead to conventional results. And that clicked with him immediately.

Recently we had a poster on the Girls Chase forums discussing cold approach pickup – namely, his lack of experience with it. This poster does quite well for himself as it is – he uses a calibrated, sexy, don’t-give-a-damnalpha guy approach in dating apps such as Tinder.

After spending years working on his profile, pictures, message style, and portraying himself as an attractive man on the apps, he tells us that sex with girls who are 6-8s on the scale and who are his type come pretty easy to him.

At this point it’s so easy, he doesn’t even find the desire to pursue these women at times. He’s so good at this game that it started to get boring, and he feels that it’s netted him the highest ROI when coupled with the good pictures and profile he’s put together. He noted that he can go out with and bang an above average looking girl at least every other week – because, according to him, on dating apps the intentions are super clear.

I was in the school of thought that cold approaching was dead or just an overall low return on investment. Lately, I have incorporated so much into my life in regards to dating and women that I don't really have that urge and killer instinct to want to cold approach hot girls. Online dating has spoiled the crap out of me, my hobbies provide opportunities, and social circle game is starting to slowly take off for me. In many ways, I don't need cold approach…

Yet, he also acknowledges that cold approaching is one of the few ways to realistically get the most attractive women on the higher end of the looks scale outside of his lifestyle and social circle game – and that is one of the ceilings in online dating, even though it’s comfortable and men are happy with screwing 7s.

In the past months, I realized that I was getting girls who were solidly above average and cute. Due to hobbies, dating apps, and a host of other things, I noticed that I got quality, but it was not top tier like I wanted. The closer I approached to an 8, the more I realized that only two things were going to give me opportunities: social circle and cold approach.

To my surprise, he used this perspective to justify his lack of effort in learning cold approach, calling it a lottery without the opportunity to get a suitable ROI, and that the apps seemed superior to cold approaching as a result. The argument here was that cold approaching is so out of touch with what other people around us do, that you’d have to be completely clueless socially to only use that method to meet women.

Well, then you have my story. I’ve spent the last 6-8 years (depending on perspective) focusing on learning cold approach dating methods – specifically, day game and approaching women in any environment in New York City, especially on the street, in subways, and coffee shops. I’m consistently able to get several phone numbers a day, several dates a week, and theoretically sleep with almost all the women I go on a date with. The numbers at the moment are quite fascinating – I’ll have more to share on this soon.

From my own perspective, the ROI of cold approaching has far exceeded what I have ever achieved through any other method I’ve tried – whether through social circles, dating apps, online dating, and more. In fact, a couple of years ago I relied heavily on dating apps to meet women – and quit because it was making me lazy about learning cold approach to get the girls of quality I truly wanted. Part of this was about finding a system that works well for what I want; the other part has just been about truly following an unconventional idea.