Style

A sexy photo is without a doubt the Holy Grail of online dating, and I’m not even close to overstating it. Regardless how sophisticated your online dating profile or how cool your byline in Tinder is, regardless how intriguing and innovative your opening message or how smooth your text game is, if you don’t have at least decent photos, you’ll be fighting with one hand tied behind your back.

On the other hand, if you do have great photos (a single great one can be enough), you can piggy-back on it and get results despite major flaws in your profile, text game, etc.

For example, when experimenting with OkCupid a couple of years ago, at one time I had a profile that said:

On A Typical Friday Night: “Cover myself in paint, confetti, and perform ancient shaman rituals while “Highway to Hell” is blasting in the background.”

Followed by a “Do NOT under any circumstances message me…”

And I would still get unsolicited messages from women. Admittedly, those weren’t the most beautiful women in the world (usually not too shabby either though), but nonetheless, it does say a lot about how powerful great photos are.

Oh, and the first time I’ve experimented with Tinder I was pretty sure that the app was broken or something, because after a ~10 – 15 minute blitz that I did while waiting for my buddy to pick me up from the train station, I had the phone buzzing the whole day from being matched with someone (and several messages too).

I’m sure at this point you’re really keen to see the photo that’s been so freakishly effective and here it is:

As you can see, statistically this photo should be a flop:

• Looking straight into the camera (in reality I was looking just above the lens).

• Smiling.

• No pets / cool activities / cropped-out women.

• Even clothes are not that impressive (other than noticeably good fit that emphasizes shoulders and color contrast to match with my natural features).

Despite that, it worked like magic. Which is to say two things:

1. A solid photographer & looking photogenic is enough to get great results from online dating.

2. My results were quite a ways from being optimal. Imagine if I knew any better then and stacked the odds further by using other strategies…

Howdy, gents!

Pardon the hiatus, as I have been busy working very diligently on a series of articles on the subject of modern marriage that you will see here very soon. But with summer fast approaching, I figured this one needed to be written sooner rather than later.

One of our forum members recently posted some pretty astonishing before and after photos of a recent body transformation. He had purchased a fairly simple workout program, and went from “gut to cut” in a little over three months’ time.

It was very inspiring.

When I first started studying seduction, I too decided to put myself through the same type of physical transformation. In addition to eating a healthy diet, which is what we’re going to examine in detail in this article, I decided to start working out five days per week and get myself in tip-top shape.

So yes, you definitely do want to follow some type of fitness plan. So if you haven’t happened across Ross Leon’s article “How to Build a Male Body That Drives Women Crazy” quite yet, you should probably go ahead and give that one a read.

Having six-pack abs is most certainly not an absolute requirement to seduce women. But it definitely helps, and if you’re one of the many guys out there who want the triple-B’s (Bleach Blonde Bombshells), then it is important for you to know that having a guy with great abs is definitely at or near the top of their wish list.

Many guys work out furiously five or six or even seven days per week and still cannot trim enough fat off of their bodies, and usually the reason for this is that they aren’t paying attention to what they are eating!

Welcome to the last part of our article series on sexy man’s grooming. In this series we’ve already covered:

• Skin care

• Dealing with body hair

• Choosing suitable hair and facial hair styles

This last piece will expand further on dealing with our hair and will cover the daily realities of looking our best, because, as you’ll soon realize, no matter how stylish the hairdresser made your haircut and no matter how great it looked after you left the salon, it’s your ability to make it presentable in the morning or before a night out that will make the actual difference of whether you look stylish and sexy or as if someone drove over a raccoon on your head.

The process is actually quite simple when we know what we’re doing, but because there’s a lot of misinformation and limiting beliefs about men’s hair styling (no, conditioner is not something that only women should use) it’s a little problematic for most guys to figure out where to start.

I’m sure, like me, at least once in your life you found yourself in a store’s hair care section, looking at the countless options of shampoos, conditioners, and styling products available, wondering what the hell are they all supposed to do, whether you should get one that says “Epic Shine”, “Massive Volume”, “Instant Repair”, or “Now With Extra Fairy Dust!”, just to get frustrated and get something that sounds manly, like “Fusion”, “V8”, or “Turbo Mega Ice Energy SPORT”, ignoring the fact that those names have nothing to do with hair.

So with this article I’d like to help make your hair care routine effective, practical, and simple, which means focusing on the essentials that will lead to the best results instead of trying to learn everything there is to know about hair care.

We’ll start with figuring out what our hair care routine should look like, discuss the most popular styling products and which ones and when you should use them, and lastly we’ll discuss some of the miscellaneous questions that you might have.

Continued from “Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 2: Manscaping.”

What the… whose hand is in my hair?

I look up and over my shoulder trying to appear nonchalant. Hmm, well, at least she’s cute… Talk about the perks and hassles of sitting close to the bar with your back turned – this is the second time this happened just this evening. Wait, or was it the third… I’m not even sure anymore.

Over the years I’ve tried A LOT of different hairstyles. At various points I’ve had shoulder length hair and very short hair; I wore it sexy-messy (or on some days just simply messy), slick, neat, and professional; I went for trendy undercuts (when they were still trendy) and for timeless classical cuts. I’ve had my hair dyed with blonde highlights and I’ve had it in black. Haven’t tried bald yet, but probably will after adding more muscle to my physique.

And of course, I’ve tried combining those haircuts with various styles of facial hair (or lack thereof). Well, at least the styles that my genetics have allowed me to try.

Some of the combinations worked very well, others… not so much. A few things I’ve learned from my experimentation:

• There’s no such thing as a perfect hairstyle or facial hair style. A style that suits one guy can look terrible on another.

• In the short term, the way you style your hair matters more than the cut itself. In the long term, the quality of the cut is what makes all the difference.

• “Flavor of the month” hairstyles are not suitable for everyone. But when they work, they work.

• The way you groom your hair and facial hair is part of your overall image; it’s important to keep the big picture in mind.

• Experimenting is essential: with the haircuts and facial hair styles you’re going for, the products you’re using, and the professional you’re going to for these procedures.

But most importantly:

The visual proportions created by your hairstyle, facial hair, and your natural features is by far the most impactful aspect of a great looking style.

How you maintain and take care of your hair is a very close second, but that’s something we’ll cover in next week’s article.

Welcome to Part 2 of our Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide (you can find part one here: “Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 1: Skin Care”).

Time to cover the topic that I consider to be the “accounting” of men’s grooming – not that sexy, but a job needs to be done or else you’re in trouble – manscaping.

For most guys, dealing with body hair is simply not an urgent topic, and because it usually comes into play after the clothes come off and the deal is mostly done, there’s little pressure to figure it out. Furthermore, you don’t really get that many extra “sexy” points for doing it right.

But beware – let it become a noticeable problem and it will be more impactful than any haircut or facial hair style you could rock, so much so that with some women it can be an instant deal-breaker and a major turn off.

In practice this can mean a woman politely (or not so politely) refuses to go down on you because it looks like you’re packing a personal rainforest down there, or she tries to avoid touching you because it looks like you have more hair on your back than on your head.

So to prevent such situations in the first place, we’ll today cover how to deal with body hair. I know that some of the parts we’ll be covering might seem common sense, but nonetheless, it needs to be said (and applied).

But before we get into the practicalities of dealing with body hair, we need to figure out how much body hair a sexy modern man should have.

As promised in my previous article, “How to Deal with Your Physical Insecurities”, I will be starting a series of articles dedicated to helping you make the most out of your looks and become “that hot guy”.

We’ll begin with the Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, which in itself will be split into several parts to make it easier to read without getting overwhelmed. In this grooming manual we won’t be focusing on the issues themselves, like why some men have thinning hair or what causes acne, but instead on the practical, actionable solutions.

As you read through please understand that if right now you have the grooming habits of a lazy chimpanzee (and, hey, no judgment here – I’ve been there myself!) that’s fine, and you don’t need to start doing everything you just read starting tomorrow all at once.

Take your time and implement each strategy one by one so that they become habitual. Do this, and very soon you’ll realize that pick-up begins to get easier, with people in general being friendlier, and life itself somehow just becoming more pleasant.

We’ll start our Seducer’s Grooming Handbook with skin care because, as you’ll see in a moment, it just might be one of the most important physical aspects we can improve.

A few friends and I were sitting at a table, careless fluff talk and barely appropriate jokes going all around, when someone made a joke that had everyone cracking up. Too bad I can’t recall the joke. But the point is that we were having a good time. After all, as most people, I love laughing and smiling (that goofy photo next to my name is there to prove it).

Then one of the friends commented – “Why do you cover your mouth with your hand when you’re laughing?”

“I do? Didn’t even notice it.”

I then got noticeably embarrassed and attempted to change the subject.

In truth, I was actually aware I was doing it and the fact that this friend, I’m sure without any bad intentions, drew attention to it made me both angry and uncomfortable.

Here’s the deal: at the time I had properly crooked teeth, something I’d been very insecure about; and covering my mouth with my hand (or any other object I might be holding in my hands) was my way of masking this insecurity. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as nonchalant as I imagined and my friend’s comment made it painfully obvious.

And even though I didn’t want to admit it at the time, this seemingly insignificant insecurity was impacting my life in more ways than just trying to hold in a laugh or a smile before I can cover it up with an awkward gesture.

Indeed, in my mind I felt flawed; I imagined how life would be so much better if only I had a beautiful smile – I would instantly become so much more confident and surely all my female classmates would find me incredibly more attractive.

Also, if I saw a woman I liked and then it turned out that she had a great smile, in my mind this would instantly make her “out of my league” because there’s no way any woman with great teeth would find me attractive. Silly, I know.