A girl once said the following about me to a mutual friend:
“You know, the best things about Darius are his deep cuts and
I must say, I was a little surprised. Not about the deep cuts part –
since college I was known to wear buttoned shirts with an extra open
button and I’ve always preferred V-necks over crew necks on tees.
Quick off topic tip: It works and it’s hot. If you’re of shorter
stature be careful though, as it might mess up your upper body
proportions and visually make you look shorter.
The part that I was surprised about was that she called me
charismatic. You see, I’ve never been the talkative, outgoing, life of
a party kind of guy, and back when it was said it was even more obvious
than it is now.
Nonetheless, in her eyes I was charismatic.
What’s interesting is that after that conversation I did indeed
start working, at first indirectly, on further developing this quality
– though “quality” might not be the best word to describe charisma. As
you’ll see in this article, it would be more appropriate to call it a
skill than a quality of your character.
As I got better at managing charisma, interesting things started to
I would relatively easily find new groups and friends during my
nights out (it’s not uncommon by the end of the night to realize that
the group I’m currently having fun with, who are inviting me to after
parties and the like, consist only of people I don’t really know)
often will buy me shots and ask to drink with them (happens less
frequently with women, but that’s expected)
And people in general seem
eager to open up and share their stories.
For example, last time I was out, after ordering my drink, an
unknown guy walked up and asked me to join his company of four ladies
on the dance floor.
I’m sure I don’t need to explain that, not only does this makes
nights out more pleasurable in general and puts you in a very positive
state of mind, it also makes the subsequent steps of seduction easier
(but don’t be fooled, you still need to make things happen).
With this introduction I first would like to refer you to another
article, written by Ricardus, The 3 Things to Know If You Want to Be
Charismatic, in which he brilliantly covers the core parts
of what makes a man charismatic and how to be one.
I would like to urge you to read that piece first and then come back
here, as in my article I would like to focus more on the specifics and
strategies you can employ to develop your charisma and do this,
you’re not a particularly outgoing guy.