(3) Journeyman

The word ‘sensitive’ has lost it’s old meaning. It now means something weak or womanly. But what it used to be was something so much more.

I think we need to reclaim the word ‘sensitive’.

The word no longer means what it’s supposed to mean.

Somewhere along the line, it grew warped, twisted. Perverted. Now, if you call a man ‘sensitive’, it’s a backhanded compliment, at best. You’re calling him a motherly nurturer. At worst, you’re saying he overreacts, is too emotional, and too womanly.

But it hasn’t always meant this. And in fact, the concept it used to describe – a concept we no longer have a perfect word for in English anymore, if we yield ‘sensitive’ completely to too-soft men and guys who think the friend zone is the surest path to sexy times – is one every man who wants to do well socially, romantically, or sexually must ultimately strive to make use of, or perpetually struggle.

When a girl giggles or jokes in response to sexual tension, it doesn’t mean she isn’t interested. Instead, it usually means she IS.

In my last post, which was the second part of this series on sexual tension, we discussed how one can create sexual tension by focusing on these elements (simultaneously):

1. Presence:

   • Using a poker face that doesn’t reveal much – which also creates intrigue and mystery

   • Having a neutral body language

2. Sexualization (using physical escalation tools and following a ladder):

   • Escalating till we reach the so-called “sweet spot” and stay there in order to allow the tension to unfold and grow bigger and bigger

   • However, the golden rules of calibration still apply

3. Additionally:

   • Make things mutual

   • Slow the pace down

If you want more details, go ahead and reread part two.

In the comment section beneath part one of this series (where I lay down the “theoretical groundwork”), a reader named Jimbo shared a few concerns:

“The thing is that when I turn the tension sexual, whether from silence or not, and the girl breaks the tension by making a joke or something, I just figure she doesn't see me as a potential mate and move on. That mostly happens with acquaintances or girls I've known for a while. But I never thought of reengaging it later on.”

Jimbo’s concern is a common one. When he attempts to create sexual tension with a girl, she reacts by making silly remarks, giggling, cracking jokes. This is because she is a bit uncomfortable with the tension. This is a normal thing – most girls you encounter will react this way, some more than others. Occasionally you will be lucky and deal with girls who do not show signs of discomfort whatsoever when building up the tension.

Before I move on, I would like to make it clear that her reaction is not some indirect way of communicating that she doesn’t see Jimbo as a lover. Oftentimes it is quite the opposite… she reacts that way exactly because Jimbo triggers butterflies in her stomach. I hope this post will give clarification to this statement.

I will dedicate this entire post to this subject – maintaining the tension and dealing with discomfort related to sexual tension. I will illustrate this process by covering 3 levels of sexual tension. You will see how going from one level to the next affects the interaction. I will also dedicate a big portion of this post to how one navigates through these levels. The idea is that the “levels” that I am about to cover will help you make sense of what is going on, and the rest of the post will be practical solutions to the issue at hand.

BDSM isn’t only fun. It offers a unique way to screen girls for quick sex – and a unique way to excite their interest for it, too.

No doubt you are familiar with Fifty Shades of Grey, the BDSM-based romance novel that took the female reading public by storm (and even outsold the Bible).

Fifty Shades of Grey is about a guy who ties his girl up, spanks her, and bones her in many beautiful and brutal ways. This book has normalized a very taboo sexual fantasy among many women. The result of this is that more women go around and wonder how it would feel to be sexually dominated. So basically, women of all ages are now more likely to be open to try something new and freaky in the sexual realm.

This site is about practical learning, so I will give you some practical tips about how to spot, attract, and bed women who may be more likely to have these fantasies. Actually, the majority of guys out there have not tried this before, and this fact leaves girls frustrated. Most guys give their girls more conventional sex because of fear of leaving their secure comfort zones.

If you give girls a more BDSM-oriented experience, you actually offer something rare that only a handful of men can provide. You become that unique guy who stands out from the rest of the men and offers her a unique sexual experience.

(Get familiarized with the BDSM world and learn what you like. This is crucial if you want to succeed with the techniques this article provides you with.)

In Part II of the sexual tension series, Alek lays out prerequisites, rules, and tactics used to build sexual tension with women.

Hey guys, and welcome to the second installment in this series of articles about sexual tension. Last time, we discussed the pillars of sexual tension, which are:

• Intrigue
• Mystery
• A sexual state of mind
• A state of limbo
• A natural thing between men and women

We didn’t get much into how it is created or maintained. But now, with the theoretical groundwork in place, you know what sexual tension entails and how you can identify it. This knowledge will, of course, help you generate it, but I believe more practical tools are required to be able to generate sexual tension on command – and do so consistently.

So the way I plan on describing this is to first discuss some quick important factors so that I can dedicate the rest of this post to the most important and most juicy skills. This post will focus on creating sexual tension and will be a purely practical post. My next post will be about how to maintain it (equally important), and will also be purely practical.

Shall we begin?

Girls use double binds on their mates more often than you might realize. But it isn’t always easy to defeat these – and lots of guys try and fail.

It was a wild night. A girlfriend of mine came over after work and we had incredible sex – multiple hard sessions, one over 60 minutes – until early in the weekday morning. “That was sooooo amazing, I loved it!” she said as she fell asleep on me, spent and exhausted. The lights were on, and we didn’t even get up to brush our teeth.

The next morning, we went at it again, and after some cuddling I woke up and began to meditate as usual – my morning routine. My girl got up to shower and get ready as I did this. She had to leave for work before me, so I carried on with my meditation, taking time to achieve the right mind state, beginning what would later be an awesome, productive day.

As I was on the ground, my eyes closed, delving into the depths of my breathing and vision, I heard her come out rustling her clothes and jacket on. I could tell she was about to leave, but I wasn’t done meditating. She circled around me but I paid no attention. After a few minutes, she walked toward the door.

“I’m leaving! Kiss me!” She said aloud hoping to get my attention. She was already by the door. But I was still on the ground meditating.

I wasn’t done, and she was interrupting me.

“I hate you!” she said aloud, noticing that I didn’t acknowledge her.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

She said it again. “I HATE YOU!” She said this with a stern face as I looked at her still sitting on the ground.

I was coming out of my meditative state, and I gave her a blank look, holding eye contact. She frowned a little bit more and looked at me sternly, disappointingly, waiting for me to get up and see her out the door. I held my eye contact, and then turned my blank face into a devilish smile.

She abruptly broke her stern frame, transforming into a most subtle smile, then yelled out again, “I hate you…” more gently and calmly.

We paused, still holding eye contact. Then I blew her a kiss, smiling. She blew me a kiss, her face transformed into a huge smile. She grabbed the door handle, opened it, and left.

I was still sitting on the ground. I closed my eyes again and went right back to my meditation.

She texted me later in the day: “Sorry that I kind of messed up your meditation this morning,” followed by “Although I had a great night last night!”

I passed another Double Bind. One of many I’ve seen with this girl... and with others.

Two steps forward, one step back. It’s the magic technique that lets you bypass almost all of her resistance… And it’s not hard to do.

One of the more enduring seduction strategies, and one you’ve seen discussed on this site plenty before (especially in some of Alek’s articles), is that of “two steps forward, one step back.”

You may call it push-pull or fractionation. Or you might call it the zigzag path to victory (victory here being, needless to say, a new lay or new girlfriend). Two steps forward, one step back is, on the surface, a crystal clear, simple system:

1. First, a bold move forward (e.g., you place your hand on her lower back)

2. Then, a partial retreat back (to, say, your hand on her upper arm)

3. Wash, rinse, repeat: go bolder still next time... then another partial retreat. Then again. And again

With this method, you may gradually acclimate a girl to touch, proximity, innuendo, or just about anything else. Yet as simple as it sounds, it is a major mindset shift. To use it well, you must shift from the typical mindset of “gain a toehold, then hang onto it for dear life.”

To help you do this, today we’ll talk about the method, and introduce you to the psychology.

Then, we’ll load you up with examples till you’re plum happy.

To pay for sex or not? What are the benefits to your game (and life)... And what are the risks?

A few years back, on my article about pornography addiction, a reader named John Jones asked about prostitution:

“Chase,

Great article. I do have a major problem. Every few months I get a prostitute. I find that paying $300 for an hour of a blowjob and sex is a good deal but I know I shouldn’t be doing this.

Can you please write an article about prostitution? Or give me some advice. I read a lot of your writings, and I gotta admit, I aspire to be like you and think the way you do. You really do have it together, brother.

Thanks.”

All right.

So, let me say before I get into this, there are a lot of men with entrenched, emotional opinions about this issue within the manosphere on the Internet.

Some of these guys love prostitutes, and view any advice against using prostitutes as a personal attack. They see it either as an attempt to undermine their freedom / control them by taking prostitutes away or making their patronage unacceptable (or illegal)... Or they view criticism as a personal attack that undermines their personal value or status as men.

Others of these guys hate prostitutes, and view them as dirty, degenerate, and/or disgusting, and/or view the men who patronize prostitutes as pathetic or weak.

I’m going to come at this article from a different angle.

I’m here neither to condemn nor absolve. Instead, I’m going to talk with you about what I have seen, again and again, repeatedly, among the various groups of men who use prostitutes, and the effects (both good and bad) prostitution can have on men.