(2) Intermediate

When a girl asks you why you want to date her… what should you say? You *could* just tell her… But don’t do this if you actually want her.

Once you enter into the dance of gaming girls, you instantly notice the avalanche of tests come rolling down at high speed to crush your lay of the day. Girls with at least some experience will throw them at you. The question in the title is one of those big snowballs that you either avoid like a pro... or suffocate under like a noob.

You’ll especially face this test when you start to go fast with girls and come across as more of a sexual man.

Let’s first talk about the game situations that lead to this question and what it tells you about the girl, then we’ll see the underlying psychology of this question before giving you all the knowledge to answer it in the best possible way.

How do you sleep with a girl when you have a roommate? There are two (2) scenarios: housemates, and roommates… And there exist strategies for each.

This is a question we get a lot on these parts: how do I sleep with girls when I have a roommate?

I’ve done enough hooking up with girls in places where I’ve had housemates, or even full-on roommates (i.e., someone who sleeps in the same room as you). While I usually prefer to have my own place or go to the girl’s place, it’s been my experience that roommates can actually make it easier for you to sleep with new women... I’ll tell you the reasons why in just a minute.

Caveat: this entire article is predicated on you not having totally lame cockblock roommates. If your roommates are lame pricks who don’t get laid and want to do everything in their power to make sure you don’t get laid either, then either change your living situation, or get good at going back to girls’ places or sleeping with girls in less conventional settings.

Assuming your roommates are at least marginally cool people whom we can get to play along with helping their bro get a new girl in the sack (or at least, they’re folks we can get to not interfere), let’s examine some strategies to help you bed babes in spite of your living situation.

Welcome back to another edition of the Girls Chase Dating Mechanics Podcast. In this episode, I interview Pablo Garcia, Girls Chase contributor and winner of a seduction community contest for the seducer who could be the most new girls in a single year. In this podcast, Pablo gives you an incredible array of ways to touch women that turn

In a jam-packed interview, Alek Rolstad shares how to turn girls on (big time) in bars and nightclubs. He shows you how to escalate touch to get her excited. He shows you how to decide WHICH girls to approach (and which girls not to bother with). He shares his approach to dealing with “wild card” situations, where random elements appear to help or hinder you.

It takes time to be sexy. Yet while you’re working on it, there’s no reason for you to go dateless in the meantime.

Writing on the Girls Chase boards, a member by the name GottaChange says:

“From what I’ve seen around the only men who manage to consistently bed women using a normal “person-to-person” frame are men who are particularly good-looking according to society’s modern criteria. It is as if their looks takes care of the attraction for them and they can just worry about having a normal interaction and move things towards sex.

All the other guys (the average-looking ones) being successful with women are, from what I have seen, those who are able to arouse women by projecting masculinity and sexuality and be consistent with it during the whole interaction. They aren’t faking it, they ARE like that.

I know for some of you this is easy if not natural, but for me this is very very hard. I can open girls using a friendly/warm/playful vibe but this doesn’t lead me anywhere. We keep bantering until she either sees me as a new friend or she loses interest and goes away.

Yeah, rarely I have had women becoming sexually interested in me even if I was just being normal and friendly, but it’s not something I can rely on regularly like I see good-looking guys do. I need to structurally change something about myself, and that’s why I chose this nickname.”

So, this is not going to be an article on how to be sexy. We already have a bunch of those – here’s a few, for starters:

• How to Be a Sexy Man
• Constructing Your Sexy Vibe (and Making Girls Go Nuts)
• Sexual Tension: 7 Ways to Make Women Excited and Randy
• Darius’s Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide Series
  
• Alek’s Sexual Tension Series
  

Rather, this will be an article on patching things together in the short-term, before your sexy self has emerged from the sexpot chrysalis.

We touched on the lack-of-sexiness problem yesterday a bit in my massive troubleshoot post “What to Do When Your Approach Just Isn’t Working.” However, I want to give it its own treatment in article form. Partly so you don’t have to read 12,000 words to find the one paragraph that talks about it. But also because it needs highlighting – what you don’t highlight often goes unnoticed.

One of the points we harp on a lot on Girls Chase is the value of being sexy. When you are sexy, girls become... pretty straightforward. You have clear sexual value on offer that appeals to women:

• Women who’d like a boyfriend like you appreciate it

• Women who’d like a friend like you appreciate it too

• And women in need of sexual release really appreciate it

Most men appreciate sexual value too. They tend to view it as ‘charismatic’ or ‘cool’. Being sexy is a boon all around.

There’s just one problem. It takes time to develop that sexy vibe if you don’t have it yet. I think it took me eight or nine months to get mine to the point where I saw noticeable changes in how women received me. So what are you supposed to do in the meantime? Scratch days off your calendar and watch the seasons pass?

Obviously, that’s not so desirable.

Instead, you’re going to have to find some other ways to make girls want to do things with you.

What do you do if you try to improve with women, but nothing seems to work? There are 8 reasons this happens – and you can beat them all.

Girls Chase has been around for almost nine years. We’ve collected hundreds of case studies, success stories, and testimonials over the years, both solicited and not, from guys about all the wild successes they’ve had with girls after finding this site. Our Field Reports board on the Girls Chase forums is a testament in its own right – just go through and read all the (probably thousands now) lay reports on the boards. But sometimes, guys struggle.

Kalyan, longtime reader (and coaching student of Hector Castillo’s) writes:

“Hello,

This is Kalyan, longtime GC fan, and I have a small issue. I am a rather good-looking guy, I’ve got some of my vibe as a man down and I don’t take shit from people. I have good style and I am not afraid to walk up to anyone.

I’m taking coaching from Hector and there are a bunch of things we’re working on (I’m good but not perfect!), but there is something which is sort of discouraging me.

Over the past 2 months I did around 150 approaches. I’d set goals and go at them. And typically I’d use direct openers. However, out of these 150 approaches (mostly day game), I was able to get 8 dates or so, and only like 4 make-outs (2 have been same night pulls).

Many girls would smile at me when I asked for their numbers and give these happily, only not to reply to my first text. This happened like 60 times. Other times I get “I have a boyfriend”. I would be frustrated at this, but when I go out, it’s a new day, I don’t carry it with me.

Now, most of the dates I got were girls who weren’t really sexually interested in me, which suggests that the girls who are interested in me sexually rejected me for not being sexual, so I have to be sexual. Got it, working on it. But my point is, it really doesn’t make sense to do such a huge number of approaches and not get any result at all – the sheer volume should be enough. I’m not saying that I “deserve” more; I know we need to improve, but something doesn’t add up here.

So I was thinking of:

– an article about “what it means when all your approaches don’t end in the bedroom” – or something similar

– advice or relevant articles on this subject (I’ll also cover this with hector).

Thanks”

Kalyan’s not the only one I’ve heard from recently about problems or frustrations. We’ve had guys both on the forums and who’ve left comments or emailed in recently to say they’ve been trying to use the material here and just aren’t able to get it to work. Some of these guys have been at it a few months; some of them say they have tried for years.

So let’s talk about what to do when things aren’t working the way you want them to work, expect them to work, or hoped they would work. This post is for the guys at risk of being left behind. The ones who’ve studied, labored, and sweated it out, but failed so far to achieve the results they want.

This article you’ve opened up is 12,000 words long. That makes it one of the five longest essays on Girls Chase as of writing (there are over 1500 articles on this website). It took me six hours to write, and another hour and a half to edit and proofread. I wrote it for two reasons: the first is because we need an article on here to be able to point guys to when they’re struggling. The second is because, while I cannot personally ensure every guy who comes here is going to succeed, I don’t want anybody failing who truly wants this. If you’re putting the work in, I want you to win. I want you to clear any hurdles and get the brass ring.

I can’t promise you this article will turn things around for you. Much of that is going to be up to you. If you and I knew each other in person, and I had enough time to spend with you, there’s a fair chance I could put you on my back and carry you to success. Yet there are tens of thousands of men who’d like me to do that for them, to only one me... and the one me there is is very busy. The best I can do at this point is outline the common problems, lay them all out for you, and hope that when you see them laid out here, some light bulbs go off for you, and the gears in your head start to turn again.

So let me do my best to shine more light on the pitfalls for those guys who are trying to climb their ways out.

Anyway, no further ado. Let’s dive in.

Party girls are fun, but can be real handfuls. Want to date one anyway? Here’s everything you need to pull it off… As well as can be expected.

While I was visiting my hometown after a long tour through Europe, I decided to hit up an ex-girlfriend. Since our sex was always great, we stayed friends after multiple breakups... and she was bisexual, so I decided that we should set up a threesome together. We’d done it before and it was hella fun, so why not again?

We spent the next week matching with girls on Tinder and contacting anyone we knew. We had a few YESs, but they fell through for some reason or another. It was around the holidays, so most girls who were down were going to be out of town and wouldn’t get back until after I’d already gotten out of Dodge. I personally had a lot of “I like you but I don’t want to share you” messages. Those were nice.

Eventually, the night came and we decided to go out and find our prey together.

Awesome, right?

We meet up, shag a few times, drink a bit, then head out to the bars. We talk to a few girls and both make out with some (and almost pull), but half way through our second pull attempt, she starts getting super aggressive with the girl. If it was a guy doing it, he’d be considered creepy, but she’s a hot girl, so it’s more funny than anything.

After this scene, I watch her stumble up to random girls and get totally blown out. She comes back to me, defeated.

“That girl totally ignored you, chica.”

“Yeah, she’s a bitch.”

“Haha, oh really? Well guess what – welcome to my world. This is how guys get laid.”

“Yeah, it fucking sucks.”